Trouble in the Terraces of my mind

2009-07-04T01:06:00.003-04:00

THis is the end of this page. Maybe forever, maybe I'll be back, you never know. I would like to thank Blogger/blogspot/google for having this site to give people like me a place to vent. I decided to move onto something bigger than this page. So those who are interested check out my site
http://www.petemarus.com and all new entries are in the blog section.

Like I said, you think you have the answers about me, I change the question. A great person said that...and he also said that he was here to chew bubble gum and kick some ass...and he was all out of gum.

2009-06-29T23:30:00.002-04:00

The past evening has had me bashing my skull in as far as my website. I finally got it up onto MobileMe and got it linked to my domain name, and it looked HORRIBLE. On top of it, the address was a mess. So after trying to get it to work, I decided to really look at some other sites to host. I know some people have offered me space for free to host my site, but I found a place called Squarespace.com that looks like it will suit my needs.

I've heard about the site and their service through Leo Laporte and his netcasts, and I looked at the site tonight. They are part of that "cloud computing" phase-where everything goes into a central spot to be stored, and you can access it from any computer. Their site has all the tools to build a site, and it's so expandable, the possibilities are endless. Their price structure is pretty flexible is where you can start at one level and expand it as you go- if your site gets bigger you can seamlessly expand the bandwidth and storage size. I also like that not only I can build a personal site with my resume, links to all the things I support and enjoy,and whatever I feel like doing, my blog here can be transfered there. So I can keep all my old posts if I wanted. I am not sure if I will but it's an option. I'm going to sign up to their free trial, mess around with it, and see what I can do.

One big hurdle I have-I need good pictures of me. All the pics I have of me and have seen of me are not good. My cousin and his wife have pictures of me holding heir child, and I look like a real creep in them! I got to work on that...

Another tech note is that after the whole wedding thing, I scanned the license into my computer as a PDF, and thought about taking all my important files and scan them into my computer. Then I am thinking of putting them encrypted onto a disc or a thumb-drive and put them into a safe deposit box. God forbid something happens, I'd at least have a copy of the important documents.
This is something all of you should consider doing, just to be safe.

Finally, I have to pour out a little from my 40 for a true pimp and playa-Billy Mays. the dude can sell anything. Hell, he got me to buy a "Big City Slider maker", and it does work well. He was part of a great show on Discovery that really showed how these God-awful commercials really are made. I think Discovery is showing a marathon of the show called "Pitchmen" on Wed. and I will be recording them. As goofy as he is on TV, he seemed like a decent guy who really didn't let all they fame get to his head. Sadly he died, and the Meth-head selling Shamwows lives, beating hookers up. Funny thing is I was told someone I know wanted to be Billy Mays for Halloween. It's still a good idea, just hope he goes around saying "ow my head!"

2009-06-28T21:15:00.002-04:00

I don't know what's going on, but tonight I've been really down. Not mush of a shock huh? This weekend was pretty cool overall, but just in the end it was a downer. Last night I hung around the house and watched the Red Bull lose again. Thing is that they do not suck altogether. Defensively they can holdup well, just they let one slip up (usually around 40 mins. into a half), and their impotent offense can't overcome that one mistake. It is quite frustrating, but can't say the entire team is bad. This is one of those teams that although the team is bad, if they can keep the hard working player together and fix the negatives, this could be a strong team in a year or two. But knowing this team they'll blow it all up and start over-much like every season before. On the bright side I had alcohol around and it made the night bearable.

Sunday started with a trip to my father's gravesite. I went with my mom and sister ad we put flowers on the site for a belated Father's day and flowers for my aunt who also is buried at the site. We stayed there for a bit, saying our little prayers and making sure it's cleaned up around it. I felt bad I couldn't make it up there for Father's day, but due to the weather in the morning last weekend I couldn't make it up to the site as well as my grandfather's site. In the afternoon I went to Brooklyn to spend some time at a couple festivals and hang out with someone, and as great as it was to do, I felt bad after it because I wasn't "on". When i hang out with anyone I feel like I should be, since they are taking time to hang out, I don't want to feel like I am wasting their time. It could all be in my head, but still I hate feeling like I wasted someone's time, that's just me.

I didn't get to see a lot of the Brazil-US game during the day, but I watched a recording of it and I wasn't sad about the loss. I wasn't sad, but frustrated with the US team. This frustration happens a lot. The US team doesn't realize how good they are. The first half they looked confident, playing to win. That first half is how the team should play EVERY GODDAMN GAME!!! I was lucky to see this side of the team in person when I went to Ohio to watch the WCQ against Mexico. The US went up 2-0 against Brazil, and looked like they had them on the ropes. Then came halftime, where in that 15 minutes that mentality went away and the other mentality the US is notorious to have. The second half was the US playing scared and playing not to lose. What happened when they did this? they give up three goals and lose a game the SHOULD have won. This side of the US team is what drives me batshit crazy.

Typical US society, everyone is now taking it as "well, at least they made the final." "We should be proud they played so well against the best in the world." etc. ESPN was sugar-coating the fact that the US lost the game themselves. Looking for positives in a loss is so counterproductive-it doesn't help improve the team's negatives but may reinforce them and make them even harder to fix. But hey, this is how most Americans want to live, and that is what has been one of the things that has led this country into the toilet.

Anyway, Since my trip to Brooklyn-which is a cool place, I been at home just moping around and feeling like shit. I decided to write this, and I got a surprise message from someone I haven't talked to in months, with news that was quite unexpected. My first reaction of the news was: "good, got what you deserve. hope it leads to a slow and painful hell the rest of your life." Fucked up thought, but honestly that's what I thought. Still unfortunate but that's life.

Anyway it's Sunday, so these ramblings are common since I hate Sunday nights for events that happened on one Sunday night. Oh, since I am now an ordained minister, I figure these aren't inane ramblings, but my sermons I am preaching.

2009-06-22T22:28:00.002-04:00

So I decided to give setting up my site again, needed something different to do tonight. It's also something to distract my mind. SO far I think it's done for now, I just need some photos of myself to put on it. Anyone with some GOOD photos of me let me know. I also have to get the personal bio proofread and critiqued by someone. I am going to use one of the domain names I registered for it, and I am going to host on my Mobile Me web-space for now and see what happens. Maybe down the road I'll go with some site hosts like Squarespace, but for how it's not going to be too much for Mobile Me to handle, at least I hope.

As far as if I will continue the blog here or move it over to my own site, I'm up in the air about that. I may try some test entries there, see what happens, and then go from there.

I was talking to someone today about my father, and the person asked me about how did he die. I told this person what happened, and what I find to be the dumbest question ever to ask someone was asked to me. The person asked me the question "What did he die of?" See, to me this is one of the dumbest question you an ask someone who has lost someone. I don't see the point in asking that question and getting that information. What difference does it make how someone dies, the fact of the matter is that the person is dead and that's all. PLease don't ask anyone why someone they loved died, or even for the matter why anyone loses someone they care about in anyway. There's no point in analyzing why, but just deal with the loss and move forward from it.

One other phrase I heard a few times today for some reason is "those who can't, teach." I figured out using this logic what I would excel in teaching others:

how to be social and friendly with others
how to meet mentally stable women who won't use things in their lives to cover for their chating
how to have a long-lasting and healthy relationship with someone
how to use Windows operating systems
how to love the state of New Jersey

I"m sure there are other courses I cold teach well.

2009-06-21T22:35:00.002-04:00

Friday was one of the most surreal moments of my life.

Friday i got to do my first wedding. I did the wedding of two friends of mine. I was nervous moreso because I just didn't want this wonderful moment. Luckily, most of the people attending this thing were really goofing around to help lower the tension, as well as still shocked that not only these two are getting married but they were getting married by ME!!!! It got to the point where I had to show all the credentials. So the ceremony went off in the oven of my friends living room (20 people in one room....not good), then we took pictures outside of the house, and then went to dinner. Had a nice dinner, then went back to the couple's house, got all the paper work, and left. Today i looked it all over, filled out the second envelope I was given (one envelope had the city clerk's office's address, the other one was blank with the clerk's address in the return address area). I filled out the second envelope with the address EXACTLY as it was on the license, stuffed it and the license into the envelope, put postage on both, and sent it on its way today. As far as I know, I did everything I had to do. I am a little nervous about it going right, just because it's the first time I'm doing this and it's two friends.

Now I've been on a high since the wedding, since it made me feel good making them happy. Even the fact that the shithole called the Meadowlands and their fucked setup didn't bother me. Today was Father's day, happy day to all the father's out there. I didnt' get to do what I wanted to do this morning mostly since the weather wasn't too good, but I'm going to my father's and grandfather's grave sites next weekend. I spent the afternoon with family, and was glad to see my cousin on this day since it's his first as a father.

After the family thing, I came home and felt down. I know I"m a grown man and should be totally independent and be living my life, but in the end I miss my dad. I've written a ton about him in the past and I won't bore you with it again, but I miss the guy. He was the man in the family and did all he could do for them. I try to live my life like that, and despite some things i have done he wouldn't be cool with, I hope I can at least get close to that standard he set, as well as the standard my grandfather set before him. I miss a lot of people who are no longer in my life. Some aren't in my life because they can't be anymore, some aren't because etiher I won't allow them in my life anymore or vice versa, yet all of them I haven't been able to fill the void they left. My dad is at the top of the list.

Sorry for the downer end to this, but just wanted to get that out.

2009-06-15T23:40:00.002-04:00

I am SO for the same-sex marriage bill passing, mostly because of my new position can lead me to making some good cash. I showed some people the credentials I have, and most of the reaction is disbelief or just humor. But anyway, I am happy with my choice, and I hope to make others happy through my work.

Ok, now to the main thing I was thinking of tonight. I was looking around the Internet tonight and watching some old wrestling clips on Youtube. Along with this I was looking around my Itunes collection seeing what I should put on my Iphone. What made me think about is what music gives you goosebumps, and just energizes you. Think about what songs comes on your radio or Ipod that just gets you going and "up". Here's some examples I have. One thing I will say is that some come from my watching of ECW, which did link music to the wrestlers, but there are others.

"Walk" by Pantera-the first 30 seconds of this song is my ringtone on my phone. I really first heard it form wrestling when it was the entrance music for Rob Van Dam. This song would hit and the crowd would EXPLODE, and would sing with the hook of the song. To this day, I hear it and my skin gets goosebumps, and I almost have a need to point o my back with my thumbs for some reason. Even on it's own it's an awesome song that can get one's blood pumping.

"Enter Sandman" by Metalica-buildup of the song form the start to when it really kicks in is really done. It's also one of the last great songs by the band. Also Google "Sandman entrance", and you'll see how a song should be used for a wrestler.

"Blind" by Korn-Again, the build up for the song is well done. It gets a crowd really jumping when it kicks in, and the best visual of this is video of the crowd from the last Woodstock.

"KIng Nothing" by Metallica-Just like "Enter Sandman", it starts off simple and builds up to a really awesome rock song. The video is also pretty good as well

"Natural Born Killaz" by Ice Cube and Dr. Dre-I liked this song before the wrestler New Jack used it as his music (which is played through his entire matches). Not exaclty a kids-friendly song, but the overall song is just put together well.

I have a bunch of others, but I would be writing all night.

just filling space and time here folks, had to write about something no matter how dumb it was. I have to force to write more to make myself a better writer.

2009-06-09T22:32:00.001-04:00

Video I made tonight, between Sunday and just the whole period since 2006, I felt like I had to draw a line

link if you can't see video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HtzZ3rJ65U

2009-06-08T21:09:00.002-04:00

I wanted to put up a couple things I have been up to. I did get the whole ordained Minster paperwork and I am pretty much one, I just have to fill out the paperwork for NYC so I could perform marriages in NYC. I'll put up a picture of the certificate at some point.

I also got my seat relocation info for Red Bull Arena today, and I sent the card back already. All I put on the part of where you prefer to be seated, I simply put "wherever the ESC is put". I did this despite the shit treatment the ESC received in Foxboro but both the Revs front office and the Red Bulls. We get to the stadium (after having a jerkoff bus driver letting no one do anything that he should allow them to if he wanted a tip) and we see a Red Bull setup. We thought it was due to teh Red Bulls team (who paid for the trip and organized some of it), but it was teh Red Bulls Corporation who wanted nothing to do with us-despite the money we all put in to support part of the organization. Well security was called, a couple people were detained for being drunk (they sat in the holding cell under the stadium for the entire game). We were moved to the farthest parking lot of the stadium-at least a half mile from the stadium itself. After the thrashing by the Revs, we start getting on the bus. Some Revs fans take cheap shots at a couple guys, it escalates into a mini brawl, then the cops arrive and PEPPER SPRAY THE GROUP-including one in a wheelchair. Three members of teh Garden State Supporters-another supports group that sits with the ESC-were arrested, and NO Revs supporters were. Those guys were held long enough to not get a ride home on a bus (the idea t first was they were being held overnight).

To top it all off, said jerkoff bus driver had a bright idea. To get into Manhattan to drop us off, he drove INTO NEW JERSEY to get to the Lincoln Tunnel, rather than drive down Broadway, and back into the City. The Lincoln Tunnel was packed due to a tube being shut down, so he goes to the Holland Tunnel-FURTHER taking us away from where we were supposed to go. Lots of traffic there as well, but eventually we get back to MSG to unload. We were at least 2 hours late, and a bunch of guys were stuck in Manhattan for hours until the trains out to the suburbs start up again. I hung out with them for a bit before going home. I finally got home at 4:30am, and thanking God I took Monday off, since I would have to been up at 6am.

This last trip cemented a feeling I've been having. I have decided to never buying anything Red Bulls other than my season tickets. I will support the team that way only. My loyalties are only to the Empire Supporters Club. I support this team in the spirit of the team I supported beck when it was first created as Empire SC. In fact, in the near future, I will be putting that loyalty on my body. I believe in what the ESC believes in, and there are people I have met in the group that has showed me many different things about the world and people that has made me a better person. Those from the ESC who have done this, I thank you and you guys have been good friends.

All the Red Bull Jerseys, Scarves, jackets, all their shit goes into the trash. I wear nothing with their stupid logo on it, I won't say their name in any chant or song, I will barely acknowledge the team is owned by Red Bull. When you look past the pretty wrapping of the new stadium, deep down they are the most inept management team that has ever ran a sports franchise. I will post something to visualize what I am talking about tomorrow.

2009-06-02T22:54:00.002-04:00

and now, some positive words for the newly graduated college seniors out there, full of hope....

WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!

So you are out of the gated community of College, and you better get to the back of the line and fight for a job. No more is it a time where Mommy and Daddy will protect you form the real world, where they tell you how special you are as the coddle you. You're in the real world bitches. You better be ready that 90% of the things you will do will result in failure. In the real world, you will not get a job....just because. You have to fight and claw and endure looking for a job, struggling with money, struggling to live. You can not rely on anyone but yourself. You are NOT entitled to a GODDAMN thing in this world, so stop with the smug look when you walk around thinking you are owed everything in this world, and that pouting you don't get what you want. Just shut the FUCK up and move on. Now is not the time to sit here and reflect on your feelings, and get all sensitive where you try to analyze what happened. This isn't a psychology session. this is REAL FUCKING LIFE!!! As the Wu Tang Clan once said, "You gotta protect ya goddamn neck!!!"

So you can sit there and think that this world is supposed to be one where humans help each other, and hat we are supposed to hold each other's hand through every single thing we go through....BZZZZZ WRONG!! As many people will help, sure, but for every one of those people there are 100 others that will stomp on you until you submit. Oh, you think it will be different for you? Because you "know how it is"? Don't make me laugh, in college you had everything paid for you or you had your cute part time job that catered to your needs, but most of the money came form the sweat of your parents. In college you were allowed to be a fuckup as long a you did teh absolute minimum. You probably were dumb enough to major in a dying major like Journalism, or Media and think you know what to do to succeed. Take it form someone who walked into that buzzsaw...you don't know shit about a moving target. So keep the pathetic dream alive as you drown in the debt you caused your parents,

Oh, are you spineless now thinking that dark, scary world is going to eat you up? I know what you're thinking: I'll go to graduate school. Good move shithead-rack up even more debt for a glorified BA degree. You're just delaying the inevitable-crying poor while holding up your pretty piece of paper while the responsible working folk like me have to foot your bill.

Now, I am a college graduate and learned all this the hard way. I won't give you advice since I never really got much when I got out of college. Also, I did the insane thing: I never really took a hand out form my family. I could have did the easy thing and went working at one of my relative's jobs, but I thought I'd earn my spot and go my own way. I learned more going that route than I would have going the easy way (what most of you spineless maggots would/will take-since you don't know what earning in life is really about). My cousin did it even harder-he worked AND paid for school. That did more for him than someone paying his way. Honestly, if he and his wife choose to not pay for their kids' college, should that is what the child wants to do, not only would I not say anything I would respect that option.

I said in that last part should the child choose to go to college. I said that because I think those who push their kids to go into college are being negligent parents. If Kids aren't feeling college, why waste their time and you money? I think a college degree is highly overrated these days, and if I were to give advice to a kid just out of high school not sure about college, I'd tell them take classes in Microsoft Office programs, some typing classes, and go get an entry level job in a company, via temp firm or not. Let them see what working is like, and if they do well they have a foot in the door into a company that can lead to a good career. Think I'm talking bullshit? think it's a stupid idea? Look at your friends and people around you, I guarantee you at least one person around you is making more money and didn't go to college.

I can't think of what else I can tell the children just starting out in the world, since everyone knows what's good for them. I will enjoy watching the stupid children finally see that they have to take responsibility for themselves and their actions and see it's not Mommy or Daddy's house where they are safe. It will be like Darwin rules, where only the smart and strong survive, and maybe a couple whiny babies kill themselves and choose not to be a burden on society. I will leave you with a quote I learned to live by that actually came from my favorite wrestler of all time, Taz:

"Beat me if you can, Survive if I let you!"

2009-05-31T21:53:00.004-04:00

Saturday night I spent a pleasant evening at a friend's surprise birthday party. It was at a friend's place and it had some kickass BBQ, some good drinks, and just a nice atmosphere. one thing I noticed early on was at this party I was the only straight single male at the party. It made things a little interesting, but nothing negative. Best part was I was able to drink as much as I could and walk home. No train or car for me, just a nice stroll through the neighborhood dodging the Latin Kings on the corner and making sure I didn't stare at the scantily clad women-most were probably underage.

Tonight I went on the Universal Life Church Monastery and started the process of becoming an ordained Minister. I have the print out from the site to state I am, but I'm not really going to start going around and say that until I get all the paperwork completed. I"m not doing this to piss on religion or make a mockery of the idea. I thought it would be a good thing to have, and why not offer the opportunity for people to get married by me. Like I said, I can't really do anything yet until I get all the paperwork sorted out (especially since NYC does require some paperwork), but now when you refer to me as "Hey moron", it should now be Hey Rev. moron"!

finally, one kickass video..God Bless you Jason Miller:

link if you can't see vid on here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dNs4aKbG30

another vid:

link to vid:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ThGNl1KqgQ

2009-05-28T23:13:00.003-04:00

I spent part of tonight trying to write a bio about myself for the website I want to create. So far this site is becoming the "Duke Nukem Forever" of sites (those who get that reference right now is falling over laughing-or is full of rage the lost time in their lives reading that line). I looked at a couple other bios people have written about themselves, and I tried to get ideas from that. I did complete one, and as usual I think it sucks. It's different than me writing this-I just go one take and it's over. I may have to pass it around to some people to get their feedback. So if you get an email from me with an attachment, know it's not a virus-this time. Eventually I will get the damn site together and you can all see a shrine to my mediocrity.

Funny thing is that I was looking at pictures of myself, and I have come to the conclusion that I look like an ugly, creepy dude. It doesn't help that my cousin and his wife are putting up pictures of their daughter, and some have me in them and I really look like a creep holding her. Am I just being tough on myself? Seeing my face in some of these pics I think is the answer to the question i have been getting lately: "So why are you single, Pete?" Eh, whatever. At this point I can care less one way or another, but still does affect the ego a tad. But hey, I have a great personality and make people laugh...there's some positivity so I don't look totally negative

2009-05-26T23:21:00.002-04:00

For some reason, I bought the new Green Day Album last night since I do like their work. I listened to it most of the day today, and I am not totally sure what to think about it. It's not a bad album, but part of me thinks its a bit dated, where it was just a continuation of their last album. The last album was great, but it also helped that it was against the current administration in power. The recent administration isn't like the old one, but these songs seemed to be more to the older crew. Also what bothers me is that Green Day to me seems like they are trying to be Pink Floyd, with all the themes and gimmicks for entire albums. Granted it's not as self centered as what "the Wall" was, but it still feels like they want to be more storytellers than musicians.

I know that they are a really Liberal band as far as their mindsets and politics go, which sorta hurts my experience listening to their last several albums, but I can respect and appreciate the message they are trying to put out there-just I ain't buying it. Rage Against The Machine sort of had this affect on me as well as far as their politics went, but they were about change, where Green Day comes off as whiney-something that is in common with most of the youth the past couple generations so that may answer why their album did well. I don't know, I'll give it a couple listens more but I am really not sure about this album

Side note, seems more and more Green Day are stealing melodies, like on their last album I distinctly remember the stealing the melody from "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash, and there were a few on their new album sounded a LOT like other songs. I could be just me, but then again Zeppelin stole a ton of music.

Finally, I was listening to some station on the radio, and I noticed everyone has that computer effect on their voice now. It's the digital version of the Rock Box. It doesn't make the pussification, emasculating lyrics the "singers" are "singing"-seriously, don't ever follow these loser's lead and what they "say/sing", follow mine and that's how you become a real man women can respect and want. all the words that come out of their mouths are crafted to push the agenda to make real men extinct

I really hate the effect, first it hides how much these "artists" suck, and it hurts my ears when it's done the ENTIRE song when it's added to the super digitized frequencies the music is created in. At least when Peter Frampton did it (and who should ONLY be allowed to use the Rock Box), it was different-he did it only for parts of songs, and when everything was analog, the effect was bearable to ears.

In short, if you are British music legend who had flowing hair on the cover of one of the highest selling live albums of all time-if not the highest-use the rock box effect all you want, you make millions happy with it your way, on top of the beautiful guitar work. If you aren't and are one of these "studio Gangstas" that look like nothing more than a crew of twinks and/or date rapists, do us ALL a favor and take you poppers in "da club", and go into the mens' room and be the "party favor" you are only good for. Your pre-written songs about love, where the moral of it is how you are going to be the bitch of the relationship suck, and without the miracle of Pro Tools, you'd be serving me my lunch or pumping my gas.....or just breaking houses and cars.

Thank you and good night, FYI the soundtrack as I was writing this was KMFDM, Das Efx, Franz Ferdinand, Green Day...good, wholesome music for the kids.

2009-05-24T22:30:00.002-04:00

Ok I had plans to write something here about love and relationships, but first I wanted to talk about the weekend of absolute stupidity I experienced. Saturday night I ordered the UFC PPV. The Main Event was Rashad Evans vs. Lyoto Machida. That was good enough for me to get this PPV regardless. But the second featured fight was the grudge match between Matt Hughes and Matt Serra. Serra is so Long Island, even his nickname has an accent. Anyway I was rooting for Serra, partly because he was a New Yorker, but also he's really likable and will knock any pompous ass down a notch verbally (like he did with Hughes, which led to this fight). Long story short, Hughes is really stuck up and a bully and thinks because he was trained by the great Pat Millitich, that makes him one step above everyone else (all fighters who have came from Millitich's camp are like this, BTW). Serra was the only one who has turned around and challenged Hughes on this. This all led to a long time of heated words between them. Finally, Saturday was the night it's all settled.

So the fight went on, where Hughes showed how scared he was of Serra by getting him on the ground and just sat on him the whole fight. He acted like he was trying to hurt Serra, but it as so ineffective, Serra sat under him with that look on his face like "This fucking guy!!! he's doing nothing" and at one point was laughing on camera. Anytime this wasn't happening, Serra was housing Hughes with punches and Jiu Jitsu where he almost caught Hughes in a few submissions. After the fight it went to the cards, and obviously since Hughes was the "bigger name" and fought like a bitch, he won the decision. The Man fought like a bitch and stole a victory. If he's a man, he'll give Serra a rematch and take his ass-whooping.

So Sunday, apparently one of the judges of the fight needed money, so he did the RBNY-Chicago game at Giants Stadium. I say that because the ref's consistency matched the one of the fight judges. Phantom calls, missed calls, you named it, the ref screwed it up. In the end, the Fire snuck in a goal and ran out of town a winner. So that was my weekend, nothing but bullshit calls and heartbreak.

Ok now to what I wanted to write about. I received the best advice about love and relationships recently from someone. Now, I will explain what he meant after I give you the exact quote: "Treat your wife like your girlfriend, and if you're not married treat your girlfriend like a whore." Now, I know this sounds a little unorthodox, and I asked the obvious question-"So if I give my girlfriend money and she doesn't pay me, I can slap her around like a pimp?" After a scolding look form this individual, he went on to explain things.

See, he said that when you give a woman a higher "title" in your rank of the people in life, they will get comfortable with you and then try to control you because of said title. If you don't acknowledge the title, and treat her at just a step below, then that sense of entitlement isn't there and that means less conflict and power struggles. He said instead of referring you your wife as your "wife", is "my girl", "My chick", or something other than wife. Granted she is your wife and all, but don't treat her any more than you did when you were going out. I"m not saying treating her like garbage, just treat her the best you can, but don't submit to her totally and give her that sense of entitlement from being your "wife"

Another point is that he made is that you should never sit there and feel afraid of leaving someone. I know you grow attach to people and all that, hell the ENTIRE music industry today is based on whiney bitches singing about this subject, but at the same time when you show that type of attachment, the other person will pick up on it and use it to their advantage (sorta like the last paragraph). Yeah it hurts losing people, but the best way to know when or if you should leave the person is to simply look yourself in the mirror and in the eye, and ask yourself if what you are in now is healthy and really worth all the consequences that can/will come if you stay. its a hard thing to do, but when you do the answer is crystal clear-you can NEVER lie to yourself.

I know a lot out there that read this see this as an anti-woman rant, or I'm angry at women. First off I am not Angry-that was proven in an entry a while ago. Second. I have come to the point in my life where I will never let someone else control my life. I"m not taking about having someone take control or argue over control over the little things, thats' psychotic and takes too much energy. I'm talking about changing your life and who you are because that is needed to be with them. Where you have to change your entire self and ideals of what you want because you feel this person is what you need in your life. I've been there several times with women, and I've learned that the bullshit to get what they are done is not worth the bad things that will come along like almost losing those and things you do care about.

I admit, I do feel my life is incomplete now, I don't have any significant other in my life and I feel that is a gap and a part of me missing. A couple times I thought I found someone who could fill that void perfectly, but I am glad that I had them ripped away since although they fit into my life perfectly, they were really cancerous, slowly destroying me and taking me to some dark and dangerous places I hope to never go to again. I'm sure some who read that last sentence knows what I am talking about and I hope they didn't get any shivers from the thought of those times-I owe them a TON for helping me not go any further. But this void doesn't mean I feel desperate to have it filled-if I don't ever have it filled, so be it. That's just the way it's supposed to be.

Ok, I hope to summarize what I just wrote since I did put a lot out there. All this guy was saying was that in order to be happy, neither person can feel entitled to anything from the title they are given in the relationship. Just treat the person how you feel they should be treated, not how a title they have should dictate you how to treat them. Also the only people one should just turn their lives upside down completely is for their ailing parents and their own children, no one else is worth it and quite frankly worthy of that.

Besides, the comedian Patrice Oneal had a great summary about relationships-"A happy man is a happy relationship."

2009-05-20T22:38:00.002-04:00

Just wanted to put up a quick thing up here. First tonight I went to see my friend's bike shop he and some guys opened. I have to say for a business starting out, they look like they have the foundation there. It's not the largest place, but for starting out and where they are, it's a good situation. I have to ay I am really proud of my friend. First, even when things are going well, it takes balls to open a business. These guys decided to go for it and it looks like they have the start of something good. All the guys working there and into this business are really passionate about bikes and I think that will help them go a long way in the success of the shop. Despite him looking tired and a little nervous, as anyone would be just starting a business, it was really cool seeing him happy. Still cool to se him going out and doing this and also just cool to feel proud for a friend.

See? I'm not a total asshole. The people who I like and are cool with I try to help out and support. I do all I can to make sure that those who do good for me, I make sure I return the favor. Just remember that.

Side note the website thing hasn't really progressed. Not lost interest, but I haven't had time to really work on it. This weekend I want to really work on it. I do want to get it up and running, but I won't until I am sure it is done right.

2009-05-19T22:37:00.000-04:00

Tonight, I will be giving my impressions of the three minutes I saw of TV most classiest show “The Real Housewives of New Jersey”. Finally, a show that makes “Dog the Bounty Hunter” look like the Cosby Show:

-Look at these fucking gindaloons!!!!
-What a shock; there’s women with big hair, shitty makeup, and slutty fashion sense in Jersey
-Apparently the Escalade, BMW, and Mercedes has replaced the Camaro with T-tops in Jersey
-Along with that line, fake tans, “Dragon Ball Z-like” hair, and anything with the ITalian Flag has -replaced the Mullet
-The only guys on this show are the typical “tough guy” that in reality are just a bunch of twinks if someone stood up to them
-You know what’s sad? these are the assholes who probably bitched about the “Sopranos” being a negative representation of the Italian-American

So there ya go, my in-depth analysis of a show I only saw a part of while I was getting a drink of water in the kitchen. Also, good to see two of my theories still gold up: first, New Jersey is the same as Long Island, just without the class. Second, anyone above I-78 in that state is just a descendant of an immigrant that couldn’t cut it in NYC, and below are either carneys, hayseeds or immigrants that couldn’t cut it in Philly.

Finally, not to stoke my ego, but I came to a realization today and it made me smile and feel proud of myself. I had an offer from the Devil at one time. The offer had everything I could ever want, but the price of it would have had me losing a lot more. To be honest, I almost took it but then I decided to play hardball. The result, the Devil flinched and actually called me selfish then stormed off. I don’t regret doing what I did, and I am actually proud of what I did.

May not mean much to you, but I thought it was cool.

2009-05-18T00:30:00.000-04:00

OK, I figured I would try to show you that think I’m an angry person, I am not. I am actually a nice guy, but if I am pushed I will push back and make sure the end result is that person on their ass-either physically, emotionally, or verbally.

According to dictionary.com (and you know all this is true-IT’S ON THE ITNERNETZ LOOLLOLLLLLZ!!!!1!!!!1!!!!111!!), you all think I am at times or my attitude is one of being:

an⋅gry

–adjective, -gri⋅er, -gri⋅est.
1 feeling or showing anger or strong resentment (usually fol. by at, with, or about): to be angry at the dean; to be angry about the snub.
2 expressing, caused by, or characterized by anger; wrathful: angry words.
3 Chiefly New England and Midland U.S. inflamed, as a sore; exhibiting inflammation.
4 (of an object or phenomenon) exhibiting a characteristic or creating a mood associated with anger or danger, as by color, sound, force, etc.: an angry sea; the boom of angry guns.

Now, in reality This word I believe is more accurate when/if I am in my mood:

sur⋅ly

–adjective, -li⋅er, -li⋅est.
1 churlishly rude or bad-tempered: a surly waiter.
2 unfriendly or hostile; menacingly irritable: a surly old lion.
3 dark or dismal; menacing; threatening: a surly sky.
4 Obsolete. lordly; arrogant

But as I said earlier, I am really a nice guy. I’m almost a a teddybear, even a pussycat. But some in the end, I am just me. Either like me or don’t.

Best thing I have ever been told by a friend of mine was recently recently hanging out a bar one night.

“Look, I read your blogs, hang out around you, see what you do/have done for your friends and family, and I find you to be an amazing person. And if any ex of yours or anyone who has met you don’t see that, they are idiots and don’t deserve to have you around or they are just a bunch of fucking assholes.”

And to those idiots and assholes who still read this (hey, I’d feel bad losing me in their lives and would want to patheticly try to keep me in my life as well), just wait to you see what I got planned in the coming months.

2009-05-12T00:29:00.001-04:00

I happened to see part of that "john and Kate plus eight" disaster on TV tonight. First off, I believe the TLC channel, which this piece of garbage is on, is ran by a bunch of carneys. This show is the most popular of all the freak families shows, where they have entire litters rather than children. these are the shows where the woman couldn't have a kid naturally-probably because God didn't want the bitch to breed-and science and the parent's selfishness and greed has resulted in families of 8-15 parasites on society. I personally think any family with more than 3 children are insane and should be sterilized. Then again, I"m old school: the only people who should have huge families are Irish Catholics or those you find living in the deep south or Bronx.

Anyway back the Jon and Kate. Kate, the child cannon that is the mother role, is really a piece of garbage. She doesn't take care of the kids-she has a nanny who does the work or her husband who is the one who has to be at her beck and fucking call for whatever she wants, especially if it is for "her children" The best way I could describe her is think of what is huge on her after all these kids and you'll get exactly what type of personality she has. So all she does is talk to her husband as if HE is one of the children, and does all she can to emasculate him. In her world, he's just a wallet, not a man. Even seeing the pics of the husband form the start of their series to now, you see a man slowly dying. What happens in the end? he runs off to get a college co-ed or two...

See, here's what bothers me about this how, and as well as society. These shows are tying to emasculate men. They show this woman bitch, bitch, bitch and break down the man. this makes the rubes think it's ok to do this to their men. This is probably where women think I"m psychotic because I don't take this shit and I will put a woman in her place. Before you all think I'll hit a woman, go fuck yourself. What I mean is that when a woman gets lippy and bitches at me, I slowly get real close to her and tell how it is, and shut the fuck up and "get it."

I"m not totally rigid and hard line. I am open to negotiations, and I may let a chick get her way on a lot of things I don't see as a big deal. But when it comes to major things, like them telling me that I will be talked to when and however they want, and how there are "rules" i HAVE to abide by, thats when I have lay it down and tell them how it is with me. Some may be saying "well this is why you are single, you don't listen to the woman." Well, I'm not a child, I am a fucking adult and I will not be forced into a box. Why would I go through all that garbage? Some piece of ass that in reality is a dime-a-dozen?

Now back to Jon and the Parasite with 8 tiny parasites. SInce their marriage is seemingly going to end, YOU ALL KNOW that attention whore Kate is already getting some real shyster lawyer to force the victim in all this to pay his entire life for his kids AND that pig of a wife. She already is trying to do they pity tour to get some sympathy. If I was the dude, I'd be at at TLC getting all the raw video footage I could to show what kind of monster she is, to show the justification of him leaving her. There has to be some footage of her berating him over and over again.

I don't know why I went off like that, just sucks seeing these shows making men look like shit, especially when the guy is doing what man should do-raise a family and take care of his responsibilities-and that isn't good enough for these women...'cause they know how to get things done!!! They are strong women that need no man.

But I'm a woman hater right people?

2009-05-10T23:29:00.000-04:00

Happy belated Mother’s Day to you all fine mothers (and happy MILF’s Day to all you fine-ass bitches). Spent mine with the family, and it was a cool time overall. Nothing huge happened today. Hope ally ou people were good to your mother, considering what bullshit most of you put them through and they didn’t tell you to piss off.

I spent Friday night out at a bar with some friends. I got to the bar a little early, so I decided to walk around the neighborhood. Where this bar is, the East Village, is a lot of hipsters, and colleges students thanks to some of the universities in the area. Seeing what was around me, I felt two things: old and fat. The old part isn’t new since I’m 30 and that’s always been feeling old since I turned 30. The fat part actually started the night before, where after my shower and I stood on my scale...all nekked (there’s the sexy partof this entry ladies-take all of that picture in and enjoy). I”m on the scale, and had to look around my belly to see I am about 243 lbs. I”m 5’11” and I should not be this fat. I wish I could also say it’s all muscle but I can’t pull that lie off!!! I have to get some weight off me, not for vanity-I honestly don’t really care how I look; someone will like me and think I”m cute/hot no matter what. I just don’t feel right especially with my height and weight ratio. I ‘m planning on going on a diet soon, and hopefully trim down a bit. That I promise

So after a little while hanging out with my friends and shooting the shit, I was talking to a female friend of mine. For the second time in two weeks, I was told how great of a person I am, and as it was put Friday night “If you exes couldn’t see how great of a person you are, they are either stupid or just simply a bunch of assholes who don’t deserve you.” I’ll be honest I did lift my spirit and it put me in a good mood for the rest of the night. Finally after some nice partying and some kick-ass pizza at the pizza joint on Ave. A by 13th street, it was time to go home. I got my ride home with my friends who were all form Queens as well. The ride could not be more Dominican. First off it’s in an older BMW that hasn’t been tricked out too much, but has a nice stereo head in the dashboard with Z100 blasting. I will say that I was in the front seal since when I tried to get into the back, I almost crushed one chick when I tried to slide into the back seat. So anyway after a quick trip to White Castle I got home, passed out, and woke up three hours almost dying. Thank god I did have a glass of water around from when I got home, I think, since I was almost dying from dry mouth and whatever. After I finished my water the next thing I know it was noon Saturday.

Ok just to make this entry worth a damn: here are some videos to look at, maybe it will make up for the substandard crap I just wrote:

Matt Serra blogs for his upcoming UFC fight May 23.

finally, my favorite commercials these days for the MLB 09 video game

2009-05-05T23:13:00.001-04:00

For a belated Cinco de Mayo here is something for you all:

George Lopez

Paul Rodriguez:

Cheech Marin:

(well, Cheech and Chong-but still good)

2009-05-03T22:08:00.001-04:00

So what the hell drives you? what the hell is your passion? That is a question I had for myself and I threw out there last week. I wondered what exactly drives me to do and say what I do. I spent some of my free time thinking about this subject, and I thought I would write out what I think really “gets me going”.

First my core passion is my family. I started to wane from this a few years ago when I started to get the impression that they were not agreeing with how I live. It seemed as if they were still treating me as if I was 12, in that they would question and shoot down whatever ideas or plans I had for myself. This really happened after my dad died, since a lot of people honestly thought he was the only one who “handled” me. Now its cool since I pretty much “drew a line in the sand” and dared anyone to cross it. Ironicly this is something my dad taught me: stand your ground in whatever you want to do, and don’t back off. The realness of how much passion I have for my family came after an incident that has led me down the road I am now as far as changing myself. After that I will do whatever I can for my family, and there has been things I have done that people at first see as crazy, but seeing the context of why I did what I did, they understand and find it commendable.

Right now, I will put my family almost as top priority, provided I feel they are a part of my family that hasn’t brought shame or lowered the standard I feel my family’s name should be at. I feel there have been some who have not done the right thing and has caused a lot of problems and pain for other relatives, but I will not get into it here. But for those relatives that I feel deserve my time, be it something as simple as helping with moving their stuff from one place to another-often through areas I rather not go through, or helping relatives with their daily routine or visiting their spouses in a hospital everyday-which I suspended my job search at the time to accomplish, I’m there for my family members. Now these days there is more important matters in my family that I may be needed to help out, I will do all I can to make sure everything they ask of me is accomplished.

ANd this passion really isn’t just for family members, but those who I really care about. I”ve done a lot of things for those not related to me, but who are “good people”. The list of these people is really short, since I have been taken advantage of and now I am really skeptical of anyone outside of my family.

My next passion I have is for the only sport that I have had a passion for that has never waned-soccer. Yeah I like other sports, but the thing is all these sports have done something that made me lose a lot of interest in the sport. Soccer though has always stayed with me. See, when I had cataracts and was blind as a goddamn bat, soccer was the only sport I could play. Why is that you ask? Simple: it was teh only ball I could see. So as a kid I played soccer in various leagues in the NYC area and in PA, but that was all cut short when I started to get extreme pain in my ankle. Turned out I had complications form when I broke it years earlier, and had to have sugery on said ankle. So during the time I was a gimp, World Cup 94 happened, an my passion for the sport really grew. Watching some of the world’s best-like Brazil’s Romario, Italy’s Roberto Baggio, Bulgeria’s Stoichcov, and other stars really was an amazing thing to watch. Also watching the US team do their thing and make it into the knockout round-where they took it to Brazil and held them to being scoreless until late in the game-was a cool thing. Funny part is all the members of that team I could care less if they all keeled over and died now since all of them are delusional assholes.

When the MLS was formed, I got excited that there was a team in the area. Empire SC was the name of the team at first, and was to be playing in Long Island (but later became the Metrostars and was moved to Jersey). I followed all the news on the league, and got excited the Metros got Roberto Donadoni and Tab Ramos for their midfield. At first I got excited, then when reality hit I was disappointed. Donadoni didn’t stay around long, but made so much of an impact I still think he’s the best midfielder the team ever had. Ramos on the other hand used the league as an ATM and was always “hurt”, but still bilked the league out of a lot of money. My finest memory of me and my dad was the first game I went to, which was after my dad had knee surgery and he insisted in taking me regardless.

After 14 years, I still have a passion for this team. I am not one who expects the team to win it all, but just at least try to win. The entire history of the team has made me get to this point. I still go to the games, stand in the ESC section, scream my voice out, and hope the team doesn’t embarrass themselves on the field. I also have a passion for the experience of soccer game day. I love hanging out in the parking lot and talking with most of the people who show up (some still don’t get it and act in a way I rather not be around). Quite honestly, I have more intelligent conversations at a soccer game, than I ever had at a baseball game, or a football game, or any other sporting event. I’ve learned more from the other people at a soccer tailgate that I find myself better. Also Some at these tailgates have helped me out in some form or another, and vice versa. I still love traveling to other parts of the country for games, but the recent years it’s sort of waned, again given some of the element that is in the group I am a part of, which is hard to ignore when you are on a bus with them. Still I enjoy going to games and having a good time, and I also love the sport and that passion is always there.

One of the biggest things I have a passion for is finding out things. I like to aquire knowledge on different things-politics, sports, technology, the media and how they affect/control the rubes in society, etc-whatever I think that I can use. Most of all, people interest me. I like to find what makes people tick. There are a ton of different types of people out there, and some have some fascinating things about them. I like to figure out what exactly makes this society work-like how there are people who selflessly help others to better the entire community, and what makes it fucked up and damaged-like scumbags who scheme the stupid and weak. I read a lot of books on people and different parts of society. For example, I am reading a book now called “Rapture Ready!:Adventures in the Parallel Universe of Christian Pop Culture” by Daniel Radosh. It’s a book about what the Christians do for their version of pop culture in music, TV, books, and other aspects. To me it’s an interesting subject to look at, while a little frightening to tell you the truth, and I learn some new things form reading something like this. Also I will watch a ton of Discovery, National Geographic, and other educational channels. I think it’s important to know what is going on around this world for your safety and just knowledge-and it’s always good to know your enemy.
Also the behavior of people interest me. I like to see how people react when they are found to be liars, or what levels they will go to keep their lies alive. It amaes me what people will do to keep deceptions going: fuzzy math on a SEC filing, using sick people-especially family members-as a front to do their devious things, just some real scumbag things. I love it when they justice comes and they get found out. Sometmes when I do call people out on their bullshit after getting some inconsistent information, I can be obnoxious. But I learned the more angrier the other person gets, the closer I am to the truth. think about it, if you’re not lying or hiding something, why would you get mad if I ask some simple questions. Nothing satisfies me more when I do get the truth, and how miserable people are when I do (since most people can’t stand I am right).

Best experience for this was when I just happened to ask someone a few questions about inconsistencies about why we couldn’t hang out, and out of the blue a few days later I get a phonecall that lasted 15 minutes where I was told all that I did for this person-all the emails, cards, written letters, gift-cards I gave so this person can enjoy something they like since they were going through a “rough time” according to this person-was done by me for my selfish ways. As heart and soul crushing this was, it gave me the satisfaction that “I found your punkass out!!!”

Interesting side story to end this entry. This past weekend I got a call form a friend who I have helped out in the past, and she was going through some drama with her dude. So we got to talking and the subject got to what I was doing this weekend, and I mentioned I was going to see my cousin and his family. We talked about that a bit, and I said I was going to be the godfather to his daughter. She asked me how I get along with his wife, and I said we were cool. I went through some of the things i have done for my cousin and his wife, and she did that “aww” where if she was single, I think I would have been “in”. as I was continuing what was talking about, she blurts out “I have to ask, how do you not have a girlfriend or wife at this point?” My smart-ass side wanted to snap back “if I knew I wouldn’t be single stupid!”, but seeing I am trying to change myself for the better, I held back. I simply said thanks for the compliment and I didn’t know. She then goes “You have this one side you put out where it can be a tad harsh and rough, but you have this other side that if you showed more, you’d have been married by now.” Aside from this conversation making me a tad awkward, I calmly reminded her what happened the last time I did that and then she went “Oh yeah.” Needless to say the rest of the talk we had was both nice in that my ego was lifted but awkward in how she said what she said-along with a couple other things.

2009-04-29T23:18:00.001-04:00

Ok, last night I was planning on writing a whole beautiful entry here about my passions and what are the things in life that not only interest me, but makes me strive for a lot of what I want-be it knowledge of something, or just something to move me “forward.” Instead I had a big dude on top of my leg as he contorted me in different positions for about an hour and a half. Along with this there was a crowd around watching what was going on, including some of his family. After he was finished, not old did I thank him, but paid him!! if you don’t get my shitty attempt of innuendo, I did get my second tattoo Tuesday night, and it cane out great. Once again Kevin at http://www.fatcattattoos.com/ did an awesome job. Check out his site and see some of his work.

Tonight I was again wanted to do that other blog entry, as well as try to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my own website, but I was on Itunes and spend some cash on there. For the hell of it, I went into the “itunes essentials” section, and I gave in. I bought some “essentials”’ of 70’s rock, Iron Maiden, and Johnny Cash. I decided to every payday pick up some music to try to expand my horizons, as well as I can make better genius lists for my Iphone.

2009-04-26T22:57:00.002-04:00

Today was a day that started out as beautiful, but ended in a horrible, horrible, way. Today was the big Metro-DC United game in Jersey. Along with this is the Rangers trying to close out their playoff series against the Capitals. I get to Giants Stadium and start doing the usual which involves some drinking, some socializing, and just having a good time. DC games bring out a lot more ESC members, especially the “old school” ones. Some were there playing music on their turntables, and it was a nice vibe. One thing I noticed was that there were a lot more chicks out this game. Usually there are only a couple at games, and they are usually only there because their dude’s brought them along. This time I saw quite a few roaming around in packs, besides the Red Bull sluts the team pays to flirt and peddle the team’s wares in the parking lot. Maybe it was the warm weather, maybe it was teh awesome drawing power of a swamp in North Jersey, or simply there’s nothing sexier than an soccer fan, who knows. They were there, but sadly there were a couple issues with them that relegated them to just “eye candy” to me:

t1. They were from Jersey. Sorry to break some hearts here ladies, but that is on the list of things I avoid when it comes to women now: live or have lived a significant amount of time in New Jersey. All the women I have gone out with form the state have led to some form of pain for me. Yes, those few “bad apples” have ruined the bunch for me.

2. Seeing the hardware on some of their left fingers, they were already occupied and I learned not to mess with situations like that, it always comes back to bite you in the ass.

3. Age difference and how somethings look more mature than they really are. I’ll leave it at that so I don’t have my hard drive confiscated or receive phone calls with some interesting questions’

4. Seeing some of the looks some were given me while I was just scanning the area, had I moved forward to them, not good things could have happened

The game itself was typical-potential there, but almost no follow through. The ending though shocked me despite all the times I’ve seen this team grasp defeat from the jaws of victory. In 5 minutes, the team let two goals in that should not have happened. Fist off the team played “bunker ball” to a point where they applied no pressure to try to gain possession and hold onto the ball for the rest of the game. This let DC take advantage of mishaps by RBNY and score two quick goals to win the game.

I was impressed with the loss. See, I don’t get angry anymore about this team, at least not as much. I look at games now as a chance to meet people (which I really should try to socialize more outside the soccer thing-there are some cool and interesting people I have met through the ESC and RBNY), cheer on a team, and enjoy the sport I have loved as a child. I am not sure if I ever mentioned this, but soccer was the only sport I could play as a kid. It was the only game where I could see the ball due to its size. Having Cataracts meant I couldn’t handle sunlight well, and baseballs weren’t visible to me, but a big soccer ball was (not to mention a pair of other ones I could see clearly......OH!!!). I don’t look at the Red Bulls as a sports team to see, I see it as a chance to socialize and also enjoy one of the few true loves in my life. Granted this love is more abusive-in the “socializing” where alcohol and sometimes “stuff” gets mixed in-but also in that the team crushes dreams and hopes like an abusive partner. But since I give the team and don’t get anything good from it, I think RBNY is my pimp. In the future I will write more about what my true loves in this world are, so that you all can see I am not a bitter, hate-filled, failure that some have called me.

Tuesday I go get some more ink done on my body. I decided to get what I said I would, and maybe tomorrow night or Tuesday I’ll post why I chose what I got. It wasn’t easy choosing how I wanted to look, but looking around I found what I think will look good.

2009-04-22T23:03:00.001-04:00

Just a couple quick notes. First I am dead to Myspace. I shut the account down, so now I am on Facebook and Twitter only. Also I am slowly building my website, where the key word is SLOWLY. I’m working on it on my computer, and havent uploaded it yet. I am trying to get it right, or at least not really shitty. Here’s the deal; form what I’ve seen form Iweb, I could move my blog there, and add entries and edit them from there with no problem. So I may move this thing over there. I still have to make sure if it’s viable to do. First I have a 200 gig cap as far as data transfer goes with MobileMe. My site and blog shouldn’t reach that limit, so maybe I’ll test it out to see what can happen.

That’s it, nothing else really going on. I’ve been busy as hell with work and at home. Most of what I wanted to do this week will be moved to Saturday, shich sort of sucks but also good I can get it all done that day.

2009-04-19T23:19:00.001-04:00

Want a way to make all the anger and bullshit you've gone through it all seem irrelevant? Hold a young baby for a minute. you'll feel good. Now to explain what I just said to not seem like a total creep. I went over my cousin’s house today to give him rabbit ear antennas. He needed them for one of those DTV converter boxes,and the video quality is actually good on one of them. As I was there hanging out-besides being scolded I didn’t get a certain beer for people when I was in Astoria yesterday-I got to see his daughter. She looks like million bucks-which all healthy babies usually do-and was actually awake. After her feeding she was given to me, and I got to hold her for a bit. It as a tad nerve-wracking, but cool to hold her. I do have to say, no matter how tough of a dude you are, a kid just brings out something nice out of people. Yeah, it’s creepy to write all this, but it is something that really was in my head. Now after I am done writing this, I’m going to continue amy game of Grand theft Auto: Chinatown Wars, where my drug business is going quite well.

Also Wednesday is my last day I will have my Myspace page. So if you still want to keep tabs on me, look me up on Facebook, or just email me if you have my email address.

2009-04-16T23:30:00.001-04:00

Well here's my post about social media and the media in general. Before I into it, I need to say something. I bought my mom a netbook to replace the Dell she has now. I forgot how backwards Windows is especially when you first start a computer. In Acer and/r Microsoft’s usual bang-up job, as the computer was going through it’s initial startup, a file was corrupted and I had the restore the entire computer form scratch......I DIDN’T EVEN GET THE THING STARTED!!!!! So after that, I got it up and running, got it online, got “peggle” for my mom, and all is well. But besides, that, How can you work with suck a savage OS like Windows? How can you put up with all the spyware that is installed “for your convenience” by various vendors that do nothing but slow the computer down? When I got my Macs, I turned it on, filled a couple blanks, and in less than 8 minutes I had everything up and running. I”m not being a diva or whatever you people will say, it’s a simple fact: Mac OS X runs better, and does more for the computer experience, than what a Windows OS can do. One good thing is that it was Windows XP, not Vista on the netbook, I can handle that.

One other side note. I’m impressed how cheap thumb drives have gotten. I picked up a 16 gig one dirt cheap, and can see a lot of potential as to what to do with it.

Ok, now onto what I was going to talk about. i was listening to one of Leo Laporte’s many netcasts, and he brought up a story about how journalism grad courses still have a hight level of applications to get into. he brought up a good point in that what they teach in them is for a past era and for a media that is dying. The new media is like what I do: blogs, Twitter, Facebook, and everything but print media and traditional media. Look around the country and you’ll see that newspapers are dying left and right. Although many are. I will say that the small town papers will survive due to the local news they can do that a website like AP or Reuters can’t. maybe in some major markets like the New York or Los Angeles the newspaper will survive, but with so many outlets now to get news, they may be an endangered species.

I went to college to get into the media business. Granted I didn’t go to the RIGHT school to get into the biz, but I was also trying to get into it where the big shift was just started. Back when I started to get in, Video/audio editing equipment was expensive and complex. Now modern computers are potential radio/TV studios, and with the advent of broadband-despite the shitty speeds this country has compared to other parts of the world-you can have your own TV show and broadcast it to the world in minutes and inexpensively. This is all well and good to a point, but beyond that point all the noise made by people just turns into just noise where you just are overwhelmed with it. That’s when you try to get through it all to get the “good” media, it’s distorted by the crap out there.

I don’t take this blog seriously. I’m not trying to break news or inform you readers of anything. I just sit here and write what’s on my mind and shockingly people read this. I don’t make any money off of it, nor do I really have a need to. Unfortunately there are those people who do the same as me, but try to make themselves into the next media sensation, which makes those who are legitimately trying to be a blogger/news source look like a bunch of assholes. And as I have said in the past, in this country there are rubes and marks that will believe whatever they read/hear/see, and that sadly makes the crap media people have a sense of power. Then when there is enough crap, this wall of white noise is there to confuse and overwhelm the common person. Granted I prefer this a little more than the old school way-where there were a small group of people who control what information gets out there where the motto is, as Bill Hicks once said about the media and government, “Here you go America, you are free to do as we tell you.” There has to be a happy medium for this, but it can kind of go along with you try to restrict it and that would violate the first amendment. I guess this is a “feast or famine” thing.

Old media is trying to fight back and try to make a buck, which further complicates the issue. Especially when they are trying to protect and stop the new types of media using the antiquated copyright laws, which shockingly is working if you look at all the DRM on media you buy, all the conditions you have when using sites like the network websites, Hulu.com and Itunes, and just the stupid things to prevent piracy that cost them more to implement than the actual piracy. It’s a mess now, but over time it will clear itself up and those who can adapt and take advantage of the chaos will come out on top.

Ok I’m losing steam and what I thought would be an intelligent post here probably turned into garbage. I think I’ll stop trying to sound smart and leave it here

2009-04-14T23:24:00.001-04:00

Now is the time for action, I’ve done enough thinking and it’s time to start doing something. I first said I am trying to change myself. I”m trying to make myself better, not just to be a better role model to some and person, but my overall health. I’m not bullshitting you when I say that some actually said they don’t want me to keel over. That’s a hell of a thing to be told. So I am doing all I can to not get myself at “that point” again. So far it’s working, but like most bad habits, it’s difficult to just stop. I”m getting better and now starting to not just get myself worked up over things in the grand scheme of things are nothing.

Another change I plan is a new tattoo. Like I said I have plans on what I want, and now I got to discuss it with the artist. It’s something that will help me remind me that in life there has to be a balance in life to be OK. It’s impossible to have an entire life of positivity or an entire life of negativity, it’s just not healthy to live that way. Also life is simply a mixture of good and bad, that’s just a fact. So my idea for a tattoo was inspired by me realization. Already since I am trying to change some people have had decided I am no longer needed, and that’s their choice. So sometime in the near future I will have something added to my body.

One other thing I will be doing this week is laying the groundwork for the website I am going to be building. I decided to just start to get that going. This week I will start planning the layout and how I want it to look visually, then start getting actual content together for it. Hopefully it won’t take too long to get that together, but who knows.

Finally, I am going to drop my myspace page. First off it seems like that all I do now is get spam from different’ scumbags on there. Second I never got an answer why they think this site is considered spam at one point, but apparently they don’t do that anymore. I just have issues wth how they handle things there. I do have a Facebook page, and I like their setup more, there are more “gates” to help keep the nonsense from getting into people’s pages. Also the level of control is there that Myspace doesn’t have. So in the next week or so I am going to get rid of my page. What does that mean for those who read this via the link I put there? Sorry. You can simply bookmark the page and check it out every so often, or I put up the link when I do an entry on my Twitter account (twitter name pmarus78), or if you’re into RSS feeds, the page here has one.

After I post this, I’m going to keep up my Mypsace account for another week then junk it.

My next blog entry I already have an idea of doing, If you don’t like to read about ramblings about social media, journalism, and where both are going, it may not be for you.

2009-04-13T23:54:00.001-04:00

A couple days before Tax day, and here’s a link to a video to help you out with your preparation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0RebubZ3f4

Of course after you file and get your refund, here’s a great place to spend it, and also pick up that lovely lady something along the way. God bless you hayseeds!!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLJtxkeDEdA

Also, the Mega Millions drawing is Tuesday, and if I win, I”ll be just as humble and charitable with my money like this gentleman is in these videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w56xpJEy7Io

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpxC_bZLROA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFQeB2vfoOg

now for something you to get stuck in your head all day. You’re welcome:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K7IKT4cvAE

Though in all seriousness, here's a video that made me feel good after seeing it, since it’s about a good person. I may come off as anti-religion, but I am not. I”m for one to have a spiritual life, but that’s a private matter for each person. I respect all those who do have a level of spirituality, but I don’t when one tries to push their beliefs on me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEzQcTa5R_c

Finally, I just wanted to say to those on Myspace, I’m most likely getting rid of it. I like Facebook where I am not bombarded by spam. I”ll get rid of the profile at some point, but I barely ever look at it, and mot of my social media time is on Facebook and Twitter. So I’d advise getting the RSS feed link to this, or be my friend on Facebook-assuming I choose to accept you. Also simply follow me on twitter.

2009-04-12T22:46:00.001-04:00

Happy Easter all. From my extensive Catholic upbringing, Today is when jesus rose from the dead, and turned a bunch of bunnies into yummy chocolate treats. He has nothing to do with the Peeps-those are the work of the Devil. yeah, that’s it. Besides, look up what other “Christians” say, and you’ll see I”m not as crazy. In fact, here’s a crazy Christian rant:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba0-ctqzRsg

Hope all had a good time spending this day with loved ones. I spent my Easter in Jersey. it was good overall, despite it was in Jersey. It was good seeing some relatives, and hopefully I will get out of the area to actually see some of these relatives soon. Still have to figure out that part.

Earlier this week, for those who follow me on Twitter or Facebook (look me up if you don’t), I put out there a question about what I should do for a new tattoo on my leg. I chose to use the Ying-Yang symbol, but I didn’t just want that. I asked for some ideas as far what else I should have with it. I got one idea-a dragon around the symbol, and that really intrigued me. I should look into that idea, that does sound cool. I should get a hold of the tattoo artist who did an awesome job on my back (in fact he reads this I think, so he probably just got what I was thinking), and see what can be done. I explained why I like the Ying-Yang symbol, maybe I’ll write something again on it.

I am enjoying my mac Mini in my living room, it was good to have the past couple nights watching the Mets game-good to look up stats and info as the game was going on, as well as the Strikeforce MMA event on Showtime last night where I wanted more info on a couple fighters featured on the event.

As far as the Strikeforce MMA event goes, it was overall a good event. Outside of UFC, I enjoy Strikeforce. They are a group who does business right-they keep themselves in the limits their money has them, they don’t revolve their entire promotion around one fighter, and they have a plan to grow their fighters and promotion to make it a stable promotion like the UFC is. Give these guys a shot and you’ll find a quality product. My only advice is that if you watch the replay on Showtime; mute the audio. the announcers are dogshit. They are glorified pro wreslting announcers, where they over promote fighters, and try to create controversy and drama. They also try to make up storylines that aren’t there. I’m guessing CBS and Showtime made the promotion use them, but they sucked with Elite XC, and honestly one of the reasons Elite XC failed, and should NOT be used in and MMA show.

2009-04-12T22:46:00.000-04:00

2009-04-07T23:55:00.001-04:00

What is it with newborns that makes anyone who sees them start to think how life i so damn fragile, and that life isn’t something that should just be taken for granted. After seeing my cousin’s daughter, it did get me thinking a little about myself and how I handle a lot of things in my life. I started to make some changes in how I live and how I handle some situations. Seeing this new life and knowing I was asked to be the Godfather to the child, it’s inspired me to try to make myself a better person and just be a good role model for the child, which is something that a Godfather is expected to be.

First thing I am trying to do, amongst some deep stuff I am trying to improve within myself due to some instances in the past, is trying to keep in contact with people. I am trying to clean up all my contact lists and files so I can keep in touch with people. I”m trying to make sure I have all the people I knows information, and so fat it seems I lost a lot of it. So now I am trying to scrounge people’s info. If anyone wants to pass along their info to me, first don’t do it in the comments section, either try via Myspace, through IM, or email if you have my address. Also if you can give you birthday info as well, cool. I figured out how to set up Ical to put people’s birthdays in it, and would like to not look like a douchebag when I don’t know it’s your birthday.

I did get my Mac Mini, and it’s all set up. I”m so proud of myself that I got it up and running. the resolution is as best as I could get on my TV, which looks good regardless. I was able to set it up that I can play my music and podcasts on it via streaming the media from my Imac in my room. I also started looking at Youtube and Hulu and all the video sites on it and it’s quite impressive the quality of the videos. It’s also nice to surf the web as I am watching TV in PIP, nice and convenient.

That’s all I will say right now, I got to get some sleep.

2009-04-05T23:02:00.001-04:00

This weekend has been one of positivity. This weekend, my cousin, who I consider more of a brother than cousin, and his wife were blessed with the birth of their first child. They rushed to the Friday night, and this morning, their daughter was born. I haven’t personally seen the child yet. When I went to visit, the mother was half asleep, and my cousin went home to get some stuff done, so I just spent a few minutes, dropped my gift off, and went home. I’m sure I’ll get yelled at for the gift-in which I spent too much on something for them-but dammit, they deserve it, and actually deserve more considering what they have done for me in the past. On top of this good news, another cousin and his wife are finalizing the paperwork on adopting a child form a surrogate mother. See, I always said that those who do right and good will be rewarded in the end. My two cousins, who have had to deal with some real rough stuff, always did the right things in life to others and now they are being blessed in this way. I hope both of them never question if they are doing the right thing in life-what they have received recently and will receive soon is proof enough they are.

On that nice point, I am moving to some other things that mean nothing. First is my Mac Mini is on its way. I ordered it last week, and have been waiting. I ordered it with express shipping, but the thing is that apparently it doesn’t mean much when ordering directly form Apple. See, my computer’s origin is from China, probably since I had some custom ordered some aspects. So now my computer may also be being used as a heroin mule. Looking at the tracking status, it was in China for a few days-probably walked from the factory to the Fed Ex depot there. as of Sunday night it’s in the US-it left Nashville today. It should arrive Wednesday, but who the hell knows. Funny fact; I also ordered a mini DVI-to-VGA adaptor I need to connect the Mac Mini to my TV. That arrived 2 days after I ordered. I would have figured both would have been sent at the same time, but since my Mini was coming form the other side of the world (thanks globalization of the economy), I understand.

some quick shots before I go to bed:

-Seeing the new ESC sweatshirt and the logo on the back, that has given me some inspiration for a tattoo. I’ve been trying to figure out a cool tattoo for my leg, and that has sort of given me an idea. I’m really picky about what I want to put on my body, so that’s why I am taking so long to figure out what I want to do.

-The website thing has ground to a halt, but this week I am going to force myself to start working on it. It may start out really basic and text only, and maybe later on I’ll add more.

-Two shows you all should dvr and will enjoy: “Bully Beatdown” and “Dhani Tackles the Globe”. “Bully Beatdown is hosted by MMA fighter Jason “Mayhem” Miller. It sounds like a bad comedy bit or commercial, but he premise of the show is that he helps out people who are bullied. What he does is that he challenges these bullies to a fight, with $10,000 on the line, but the bully fights another MMA fighter. The fight is broken down into two parts: grappling and kickboxing. The grappling part is where they wrestle for 5 minutes and every time the bully taps out, he loses $1000 of the $10,000. the second part, kickboxing is just that for 5 minutes. If the bully gets knocked out, he loses all the money. It’s really a great show and good to see scum get their asses kicked by guys who aren’t bullies-but guys who are anything but and do stick up for the little guy. It’s also the only show that’s good on MTV these days

The second show, “Dhani tackles the Globe,” features NFL linebacker Dhani Jones traveling around the world playing local sports and learning about the culture through training and playing the sports. He says in the opening “If you want to learn about a culture, play their sports.” Its’ a fascinating show in the Travel Channel, and one worth checking out

-Finally, I need to thank Direct TV for coming up with their Iphone app. It’s saved my ass several times. It’s an app where you can search shows and see when they are airing. You can also schedule your DVR through it. That’s what I’ve done several times already, and I do that rather than going through the channel guide on my box. It’s just simple and a great app if you got Direct TV.

2009-03-29T23:38:00.001-04:00

I survived the first RBNY home game of the season. I got a sunburn on my head and face, and from all the standing and jumping, I couldn’t walk after the game. With that and my Arthritis, I got home sat down, and couldn’t get up for three hours. I am either getting old, or I’m just not in shape for soccer season. I have contemplated for my health I may have to stay with baseball. Not much jumping and being obnoxious at a baseball game than at a soccer game.

This week Penn State gets to fight to see if they can be number 66 in the nation. They are in the NIT semifinals, and I’m may be going Tuesday night. I got to see about tickets and where some people I know are going to be, but it should be interesting. Hopefully Penn State will beat the scum from Notre Dame.

One thing that did upset me Saturday night, besides the Red Bull fuckup that led them to only getting one point rather than the three they could have gotten, was a commercial I heard driving home. It was a chemical dependancy program which says they can scientifically end someone’s addiction in like a few days. What got me was the shot they took at some programs with the line “Who has time to go away for 28 days, and to do what? talk and pray?” I’m not a person in any program, I haven’t had an addiction problem, but I’ve known a few recovering addicts. That line pissed me off because what this program is not just offering is a “quick-fix” to a problem, but it also goes along with the fucked up mentality of this country where the person doesn’t have to take responsibility for their actions during the addiction caused-it’s always someone/thing else’s fault. Programs like AA make the person take responsibility for their actions and man up to the pain and damage they did. They have to go to the people they hurt and apologize, they have to do right where they did wrong. And above all, they have to accept and deal with the ramifications of what their addiction caused.

Personally, if anyone goes to this program where all they do is get shot up with some chemicals and pop some pills, they are still a coward and a scumbag for still running away from their problems. If someone what’s toe “get clean”, it includes cleaning out their soul and personal shit they have damaged and destroyed, along with their physical bodies. God bless those who go through the programs where they have to be broken down and rebuilt, that shows real courage and balls to me. Anyone who doesn’t complete this task is a coward and deserves whatever pain they get or even death. Same goes for anyone who tries this “quick-fix”.

Bottom line: you want show you got balls, go the AA/program route, if you want to still be a coward and a scumbag, do this science program.

2009-03-25T23:30:00.001-04:00

Ok I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the past few days. I’ve been trying to improve myself and learn from some things that have been going on. This included a lot of thinking of some of the things that have happened, how they could have turned out different if I learned what I was supposed to learn earlier. But then again, all these things happened for a reason, and it put me where I am now.

One other thing I was thinking of is some things to write here. I was thinking of doing some gimmick posts, to see if I can make some of you people laugh. The one I always threw around was to write an entry like how a wrestling promo. Soon after I thought of it, I realized how hard it would be. The two greatest wrestlers on the mic ere Dusty Rhodes and Ric Flair. These are the two guys I look up on Youtube and marvel at the skills these guys and how they were to help move the story-line they were in, or even help build up the other wrestler. I couldn’t write that well, and to write what they say would look annoying to read and write. I thought of how it would be to try to write as, say, Dusty Rhodes, it would be inane ramblings about America and how it’s the land of opportunities, and to get his lisp into writing would be impossible. Also I couldn't get the “soul” he had in his voice which made his promos sound so cool. I certainly couldn’t write as Flair. First off instead of inane ramblings about America, it would be inane ramblings about being the best at everything and what it’s like to be a limousine riding, jet flying, wheeling-dealing, kiss stealing, son-of-a-bitch. As well as all this, both randomly during sentences, and at breaks, i would have to put some “WOOOOOOOOO!!!”s in it. On top of it, I can’t write me in the middle of the rant me taking off my jacket, throwing it on the floor, running around it as well as dropping elbows on the jacket. It’s just too much work.

One other thing I’ve been thinking of is more brainstorming. I said I wanted to put up a small site of myself, and I haven’t had a chance to get really into it, due to family things. I have a basic idea how I want it set up

-A welcome page-where it welcomes the person to my site, and has the links to other parts.
-A bio page-where I talk about myself professionally and personally. I was thinking of putting up a paragraph or two about my past job history and what I’ve done and accomplished. Also a paragraph or two as well about my personal life. Or simply combine the two. I also threw out on Twitter the idea of having some people write a short summary about me-both good and bad parts of me. My idea was to tell people what email address to write to, and write a short paragraph about me. I’d give a time-span to do it, and whatever I get I’ll look at and put up some of them. Again, this is what i’ve thought of doing and nothing concrete.
-Resume-simply, redo my resume and simply put up there and maybe get a job offer or two.
-Blog-this thing here, though maybe not. I may keep it and redo it a bit to match the theme of the site I would be making. One big thing that came up was form a friend of mine asking if the content would change since I would be really putting my name on here and identifying myself with this. I won’t since I simply don’t buy into the fear-mongering. I don’t buy into the whole “what if an employer sees what you say and that could cost you a job.” If it does, so be it, and why would I want to work at a place that wants to control me both on the job and when I am not. I will not be scared to “to the line” for anyone or anything. I think and believe in what I do and won’t be told what to think. At work I do what I am hired to do, and I will play be the rules. Once I am out of the job, that’s MY time and I will do what I want. So I won’t change the content. I will be changing the name as I said, and maybe modify the layout.
-Links/social media-in essence a page of links to people and things I like and enjoy, as well links to my social media pages/tools like Facebook, Myspace, and IM names. Also my twitter feed here as well, or on the front page.
-Photos/videos-just stuff I shoot either still photos or videos. I still have the bug a bit and would like to continue to do it as a goof.

So you see I have an idea what I want. I do have some things to work out, like hosting but I have some leads on that. I could probably use MobileMe’s space that I have, since most of these pages would be not really huge. The traffic shouldn’t be more than the 200gig/month limit they offer, but who knows. I could simply get hosted somewhere, but i have to see how much a month it would cost me. One thing is do I keep my blog here, or move it as well. If I move it, then the archive is gone-I won’t keep up all the old posts and at most three or four posts at a time. Blogger makes it simple, so it’s tempting to just rename this and change the link name, and just link to here.

I also have to figure out a basic layout, probably something simple like one person I admire, Steve Jobs. He has a simplistic attitude to what he does, but it is also elegant. If you ever see how his keynotes are constructed, the simplicity is amazing considering what he does in how he projects the message and the power that message usually has.

One other consideration is that I need some better pics of me if I wanted tp put some up so people know what the hell I look like!!!

I welcome suggestions and ideas if you all have any. Please bring them.

one final note. I got “Peggle” for the Mac. It really is like crack. Look the game up, and even though it looks stupid, it’s highly addictive like how “Tetris” was. Try it out.

OK, enough, I am done

2009-03-22T22:22:00.001-04:00

Remember when the weekend was to relax from a hard week of work? This weekend was anything but, and I am going into work Monday not anymore rested than I was after the workday ended Friday. I”m actually more work out both physically, and as well as mentally.

FYI, for parts of this think of the song “Jump into the Fire” by Harry Nillson as you read this entry. Those who get what I am referencing to will laugh. Those who don’t obviously do not watch Scorcese films. No, I didn’t see any helicopters, by the way

Friday night I went to do “things” with my cousin (the cover story for preparing for his wife’s surprise baby shower). We had to go to the site where it was going to be set up and start putting the tables and chairs out. We get that done and put all the covers on the tables and all that fun stuff.

I figure after that and hanging out at a friends house I can get some rest. Well, I knew I had to be up at 8:30 to get stuff for the shower itself and get some personal business done, so naturally with that on my mind, I didn’t sleep at all. When the alarm went off, I got up, took a shower, downed as much caffeinated-filled things I could find, and headed out. I go pick up a friend who was helping organizing this shower to pick up the cake. Along the way we pick up her cousin who was helping with setting up the place. We had to go back to my friend’s place a second time to pick up the party favors, meaning in a half-hour I travelled about 10 blocks in Astoria-in a circle. We then go to the place where the party is, open up the room and start setting up. I hang around for a little while as my friends and another cousin of mine set things up. Then I jumped back into my car and went to my house to get my mom and sister to bring to this party. We get back, help get people into the room where we were, and then when the food arrived and was being set up, the beans were cold. My cousin told me to go to her place a block over and get her microwave. I run over to get it, which included me getting my balls broken by her husband that I was really manly doing this shower. I bring it into the room, noticed there was a microwave on top of the fridge.....

Anyway, it was time for the moment where the surprise is revealed. At this time looking at the room and it being a surprise, I had the vision of a scene from “GoodFellas” where Pesci thought he was going to be “made” and was killed. I should show you pics and video of this room and you will get the same impression. But as I had this thought and was trying not to laugh out loud, the door opens and everyone screams surprise. Had the surprisee say “oh no”, I would have been on the floor laughing.

So the shower went on, and I will not go into details as far as my commentary since it isn’t relevant and not accurate as to how nice of a day it was-She was happy, everything else doesn’t matter. One funny thing came from my mom, asking my if my friend who also was pregnant was married to my other friend who was gay. After almost laughing from the question (needed given what how things were with me at the moment), I explained things to my mom.

OK, so after all the gifts were packed into cars and things were cleaned up, I took my mom and sister home. Rest of the night was not a nice person to be around, and thank God I called my cousin. Had I not, things would have been done and said that would have done a lot bad than good. I really don’t want to get into details why I was in the state I was, since it is irrelevant, but I disagreed with a few things that day, and I felt like what I did to resolve said disagreements were ignored. That’s all I have to say. Anyone wondering what happened exactly, don’t bother asking. As I said it’s irrelevant and over with. Anyone still going to be a pain in the ass about it, ask me directly, other people were told not to say anything. OK, I know now I have a few things that i have to work on, and that was pointed out. I’m trying, that’s as much as I can say.

Well after the talk and cooling off a bit, I dozed off for a bit. Now, what happens when you sleep for a little bit before you actually go to sleep?? YOU CAN’T SLEEP RIGHT WHEN YOU TRY TO. I went to bed about 11 that night, and woke up at 4:30am. Since then I just laid there not really sleeping. the alarm went off and now it was time to get the last leg of this weekend off.

My cousin picks me up to get the van at U-Haul. We get it and I drive his car home while he drives the van back to his place. Today’s task is to take the futon in his place down to his in-law’s in Central Jersey and bring back a bed. This futon is the infamous cursed one, where the past two owners, who didn’t have kids nor really planned on any, ended up getting pregnant. I was offered it at first but I can’t even type what I told my cousin when he offered it.

So somehow we get the thing into the van (actually the frame was easy, the mattress was the pain in the ass). the trip to Jersey itself was...weird for me, to say the least. It was sorta fitting how the weekend was going, but still it was just weird. First, I was reading the directions to get to where we were going and the exit we had to take off of the NJ Turnpike, and some of the route after, sounded familiar to me, but I blew it off. As we were driving, I gave my cousin the grand tour of where I dated people. I pointed out a couple exits in Brooklyn I had taken to meet up with some of them. It felt like this route was made exactly to take us through this...Google must be pissed I don‘t use my gmail account as my main email address anymore. We get to Jersey and closer to the exit we had to exit off, and I kept saying “Well, this looks familiar”. We exited off the turnpike and seeing the direction we were going I said loudly “Oh boy, I know where we are...wow”. God can really be a prankster can he??? All this time my cousin smiled, but was silent, probably just to not make me feel more weird, and I think he knew who exactly I was talking about as far as who lived over in that area. By “weird” I mean in the “what are the odds, all this would line up like this?!?!?” As we traveled down 18, I pointed out the exact turnoff I used to take to go to where I used to go to down there. One bright spot was the emergency stop I had to make into a restaurant and left what I felt about the state of Jersey there.

We get to his in-law’s place, switched a bed with a futon, and after realizing we are old and broken down, head back to the city. I believe I made the most poignant and succinct statement about my feelings of Jersey. My cousin took a turn a little too fast getting on the Gothells Bridge, and I mentioned I rather if he rolled the van and kill us to do it on the other side of the bridge. He asked “In Staten Island?!?!?” I responded “yeah, at least it would be in New York”, and he agreed. Yes people, I put even Staten Island above New Jersey.

Finally after another stop to get more furniture from some relatives, we hike all the crap into my cousin’s place and then my weekend of work was over.

Time to start to rest and enjoy the weekend!!!! What? it’s 5pm Sunday?!?!?! damn!!!!

In the end I got a back that’s killing me, splinters in both hands, and one hand was almost crushed, and my arthritis in my ankle was acting up. But it was all worth it since the soon-to-be mother got a kick-ass shindig and was still smiling today over it.

Plus, down the road I can hold all what I’ve done to help this couple and kid over them at some point. Hey, it was done to me a few times!!!!!

2009-03-17T22:47:00.001-04:00

Happy St. Patrick’s day everyone!!! Hope all you dumbasses who drank too much stuck things into other things that you’ll regret in 9 months and or about a decade. or you had one too many Irish carbombs, got into your car and as you drove home, swerved and turned your ride into a real carbomb. Yeah I’m in a GOOD mood!!!!

Now a great moment in irish-American History...the moment the Irish were given equal status with everyone else in this country:

One other thing I found funny today was when this bum on the train-and I do mean bum, not those PC terms like “homeless”, “underprivileged”, no BUM-was on the train preaching the word. He was talking about how the bible is the answer to everything-ironic that it couldn’t answer his question of “How do I get a house and a job?”, and he said how he doesn’t have hatred for those who hurt him and led him to where he is. When he said we should all forgive those who did wrong to us, I couldn’t help but laugh. I never understood the whole “i get screwed over by someone, so if I give him a free pass on him doing that, it’s all good.” I have no issues with anyone who choses to hold grudges and decide that a scumbag doesn’t deserve to be given forgiveness. Of course with this society and its ass-backwards thinking, that person who doesn’t forgive is called “bitter”, “angry”, and is made to look like the bad guy. If justice isn’t done on the part of the victim, that person has every right to be angry and have rage for that person or thing.

Funny how it’s the Bible is supposed to teach forgiveness. Anyone read that first part of the Bible? apparently forgiveness was God telling someone to do something or not to eat something, and when he isn’t listened to, God decides to start kicking some ass. That flood he caused and told Noah to build a boat to save only a few of the animals sure screamed “I forgive you” to the drowning wicked people!!!

Do lesson is this: It’s ok to have anger and rage for someone or something who has done and injustice to you. You as a human being is allowed to feel that. Quite honestly, if anyone comes to you and tells you that you should forgive what has done to you, they are no better than who or what did you wrong, since all they are doing by asking you to forgive is blaming you for your situation. My only catch with this is that as long as what you are angry at is not something that you did or caused yourself, then you are just a self-sabotaging jackass and deserve what you get. If you choose to get yourself into a situation with something or someone without looking into every aspect to see if it’s right for you, and you are harmed in a way, then it’s on you to accept what happens.

One other lesson I learned the past couple days is something that everyone should follow. You can analyze and think about something or a situation all you want. If you have that gut feeling saying this ain’t good and something you should not be at, or on the other hand, have a feeling that there could be something positive that could come out of a situation or something, listen to your gut. nine times out of 10, I find that the gut decision I make is the right one and I have not regretted doing so. Sure, you may miss out something from time to time, but I rather miss out on something that I felt was wrong, than be stuck in a horrible situation and be wrong.

Now you can see why I am rarely wrong? So there’s my secret.

now for some beautiful Irish music on this day:

Watch more Yahoo! Music videos on AOL Video

2009-03-15T20:20:00.001-04:00

Wow another entry today. I must have a lot on my mind.

Well, first wanted to say that I”m still trying to figure out what to do as far as a small web site. I have the idea, just have to sit down and start to do it. I should start to do that this week, but seeing what is going to be happen the next seven days my mind may be needed elsewhere. I could have done something yesterday, but that yesterday was mostly cleaning. I chose to finally go through most of my crap and get rid os some of the stuff I don’t need. In the end I think I have about 5-6 garbage bags of stuff and some room now. On top of that, I did a ton of my laundry as well as cooked dinner last night. I did all that partly because it had to be done-well the dinner part was because I wanted to use my “Big City Slider Maker”, but also I needed to distract my mind.

See, I have a bad habit of if I am left alone for a long period of time, my mind starts to think and think and think to the point where I am almost batshit crazy. Sometimes it is a good thing to do-it sorta led to me deciding to consolidate things and try to simplify things in my life along with other things I’ve done that has bettered my life. This weekend had me thinking about how I seem to more and more sliding into a “shut-in” state. I figure that since I am not going out to a lot of things that I am invited to (though to sort of defend that part, a lot of what I am invited to are during the week at night, and I usually am too burnt out from work and/or just want to go home to get some stuff done). I look at myself and I am not really making contact with a lot of my friends as much as I used to outside of the occasional email saying what's up. Yeah I should try more and all that, but most of my friend have other things to do, wither with their wives/chicks, and some with their jobs and whatever they are trying to accomplish.

Part of me sorta likes the whole being alone thing-its a simple way to live and it's peaceful. But on the other hand, you even told me humans naturally need social interaction. So part of me wants that.

I guess also part of the problem is what someone once told me. I tend to be too harsh with people, in that I can't accept people who "let me down" in some form. See, I look at it this way: life is harsh, and I have had a lot of things done/said to me that have been harsh-especially after I put my trust in them. I am jaded by this and whoever comes into my life-either girl, boss, or anyone-I tend to be me, which apparently is real tough with at first. This is first to "thin out the heard" of people, since I rather have 5 people who get me than 10 who don't. Also I believe this helps prove the other person's intentions. If they can stand me and how I really, honestly am, then they do want to be around and me around. If they can't then it's probably best that they don't be around. Does that make sense at all?

I guess maybe I am getting frustrated with, although it is true more will be in the latter column than the first, I keep finding those in that latter list, and I am slowly regressing into this state of staying in my house more. But on the bright side this may change now that the soccer season is upon me and I will get out more on Sat nights, although it still disturbs me that I am starting to not only look forward to going to Jersey, but the toilet part of it. Maybe things will change then.

But also this could be simply my mind out of control. Someone told me once that people like me do tend to let their minds go out of control and think just utter nonsense which can hurt me in the end. I don’t know what it is, just when I have my feelings about people or situations, I am usually right. Sorta sucks about the things I am thinking about now, but they are more than likely right.

One side note that was positive this weekend. I decided to download Korn’s “See You On the Other Side” and “Unplugged” albums. Those in the know why I haven’t until now and how and why both affected me in the way it did. Anyway I chose to try to at least and see what would happen. I actually put the albums on my old Ipod in case one of the reactions included launching the player across the room or into a brick wall, and I didn’t want to do that to my Iphone. Turned out it was ok. Both Albums are good, and I am liking more and more the direction the band is going. Those this doesn’t mean much to dont’ worry about it, those who know can take it as a real positive step.

2009-03-15T14:35:00.001-04:00

This entry I decided to talk about something I’ve been contemplating for a while now. When you boil down everything, this world is full of only two things: carneys and rubes.

Sounds dumb? crazy? well just look at everything in this world. One person has to sell themselves to others, either through legit mens, or Machiavellian ways. Take our presidents, and how the carneys that run their campaigns as well as themselves sell themselves to get elected by the mindless rubes. Most recent carney is Obama, This may piss some off, but that whole snake oil elixir of “change he’s sold to you all is nothing but that. He just signed a budget that had nothing but earmarks and pet projects. Gee, wasn’t his big platform he was running on based on changing how “same ol’ politics” worked? Of course he tried to slickly talk his way out of it, but the bottom line is nothing has changed other than it’s now Democrats using the president as a blank check to get their bullshit projects through instead of Republicans.

Another example? Gamestop. I hate this company, I know that their basis of business in bullshit. Walk in there and when you want to buy a new game, they will spend at least 5 minutes trying to sell you a used copy. this is not because its a good value to you, but simply they make about $20 off that game rather than the $3 off the new one. They also deceive people by saying they have all the latest games, but they don’t mention they under stock new games so they you may more likely buy the used game. Then my favorite one now is that one in about 8-10 copies of their games are open box, where you take the empty box off the wall, bring it up to the counter, and they put the game in or you and seal the box in plastic and stickers, and charge you for a new game. They will go on and on about how the game was never used and all that crap, but bottom like THAT’S OPEN BOX AND SHOULD BE CHARGED AS SUCH. Still they are in business thanks to the rubes believing their bullshit, as well as falling for the masking of “store exclusives” when you buy a game from their store. I rather wait a couple days ordering form Amazon than give these carneys my money.

In business there are other examples, those crooks like Madoff and Stanford, who bilked people and non-profit entities out of billions of dollars, ruining lives. The banks that preyed on the stupid and irresponsible with the mortgages and led to the situation we live in now, while bullshitting they way into Congress and taking billions of the responsible people’s money to continue heir flawed business model. the entire Kennedy family were a bunch of carneys and scammers which is how they made their fortune. Hell, World Wrestling Entertainment, a multi-million dollar business, at the heart of it all are jin a business that is nothing but full of carnies.

Even in interpersonal relationships there are carnies and rubes. I fell for a few carneys, some more than once, since their bullshitting skills were good. I learned now what to look for in one of these fucking scumbag carnies, and I am less likely to be a rube in that way. THere are some situations where the guy beat the hell out of a chick, and can carney his way back to her. Honestly, if a chick is going to be stupid enough to go back to him, she deserves whatever happens to her-be it more beatings or her corpse is found in a ditch. I would shed no tear for any rube dumb enough to go back that shit.

Quite honestly, I have no sympathy for anyone who was duped by these people and made to look like a bunch of ham-and-egger rubes. People should pay attention to all that is around them and that they are getting involved with. I do have a little respect for those who do take responsibility and does say “hey, I screwed up and it’s my fault that I am where I am now.” Unfortunately this pussy of a society wants to coddle people and allows these losers to pass the blame on someone else, which doesn’t help solve the problem. All passing the blame and coddling these people does is tell the other losers “Hey, it’s OK if I fail, someone else will take the blame and I don’t have to deal with the responsibility of failing”. THIS IS WHY THE COUNTRY AND PLANET IS FUCKED RIGHT NOW!!!!

I was told I’m too harsh with people, and that I should cut people slack. I won’t since this world is supposed to be cruel, and people have to learn to grow a thick skin and learn that you will fail more than succeed. You will fail a lot, but you have to take responsibility for that failure and learn from it. But most people are too sensitive and they get some rube to take the blame so they can live in the world of ignorance and fuck even more things up. Want to live this way? don’t come near me and expect me to be nice.

I said there are both carnies and rubs out there, but also remember that a rube may be a rube in one situation, but the carney in another.

2009-03-14T01:00:00.001-04:00

So this is the first blog post I am doing with Apple’s Iwork09 suite. It’s a nice setup. Doesn’t have all the bells and whistles as MS Office, but it works pretty well. I just wanted to write and see what it was like.

Also have to plug Lazlow and his radio show. His next episode is Sat, March 14th. So Sat. night I am going to stay in, maybe drink a couple beers and let Lazlow, Big Wayne, and Reed Tucker entertain me. Yeah, I”m slowly turning into a shut in. I should write about that stuff another time, when I have time to figure out those thoughts.

I got some great news from the tax man today, I am getting a sweet check from both the Feds and the state. it’s enough to really put into motion my plans for a Mac Mini in my living room. I still have to research quite a bit to make sure I know what I am doing, but I will be able afford the project. And not only that, i also have enough to put into saving s as well, which quite honestly is the more important thing to me. On a side note, I did use my Apple TV, which ironically would be replaced by the Mac mini,and rented “ghostbusters” tonight. I’ve heard a lot about the game coming out for it, and I jsut had a “bug” to watch the original. It wasn’t a HD version of the movie(blu-ray version comes out soon though), but the quality was very good. Also it seems the version Apple has is the one with updated sound from one of the DVD releases. ALways a good movie, and I found enjoyment. On top of it, the rental through Apple was $3. I was disappointed they didn’t have another classic I wanted to see again. Apple didn’t have “Used Cars.” If you haven't seen it, shame on you, and go out now and look for it to see. You’ll find it funny as hell.

Finally before I go to sleep, and just to remind you that “the Lazlow Show” is on tomorrow night at 9 on XM202 but you can get mp3’s of the show and the box set of all his shows on lazlow.com, He had audio of this drunken hayseed ranting about current events. Here’s the rube’s Youtube channel, and it’s funny to see what happens when mommy and daddy are also brother and sister.

here’s his channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/walstreetpro2

and the one guy’s rants I like better-drinking with Bob:
http://www.youtube.com/user/drinkingwithbob

2009-03-10T23:06:00.001-04:00

I"mnot in a good mood. Apparently Myspace thinks this is a bad forum full of spam and viruses. I find this ironic since the ads they have on their site is nothing BUT fucking malware and viruses. This really pisses me off, since they are either pissed that I don't use their dogshit of a blog setup, or someone decided to flag my post. They either are someone jealous of me or some pathetic piece of garbage that still carries a torch for me, but knows they fucked up and know I'm not taking them back.
I"m going to try to post a link again to this site, and see what happens, but those who want to read this will find a way. At least there's always Facebook. They haven't given me shit at all. It just amazes me that Myspace would do this, I"m debating if I am going to pursue this and write to the people who run the site, but I may just not bother.

I finished "Confessions of an Economic Hitman" last night and it was ok. It proved my theory that the biggest companies in this world run and control this world. The book goes into some of the big events of the 80s and 90s like Panama, Iraq, and various other parts of the world. It's an interesting way to look at the global-economic machine, and how and why the things the US has done were done. If you look at some of the dumb things the country has done internationally, look at why these were done in the way of "how can one make money off of that action?"

Overall the book was an informative reading, for the most part. There was one big problem I had with the book. I understand the parts where he is self-reflecting on his life and saying what the effects of his job has had on his life, and I am cool with it. But when it gets to the point where he is trashing the business where his notoriety and fame came from, that to me is like "shitting where you eat." It's cool to have issues with the business you are in, but to say that you want to try to help end the business after you made your bones in, that's a problem to me. These parts of the book reminded me of all the stories of the pro wrestlers that made it big, fell into addiction, and after cleaning up they go out and preach against the pro wrestling business. When someone does this it make me think they are really saying "I made my money and got mine, not i am done in it no one else should get what I got." Of the whole book, this is where I had a big problem and I found myself trying to fast forward through those parts. I still recommend the book, it is an interesting read.

Update on some of the other things I wrote about the past couple entries; I am slowly working on things, and slowly making sure everything is right before I move to the next step.

After this Myspace thing, I just wanted to say to those who read me from there-thanks and its' probably a good idea to subscribe to the RSS feed that's available. Along with this I really don't say this much; I know I come off harsh and an asshole sometimes, but I am also a humble person. I don't say this much but thank you to all who do read this. I've been doing this for a long-ass time, and I have shared a lot of good and bad things on here. Many of you who read this I know, and I learn form time to time people who I didn't think who read this not only does, but enjoy it.
So I just wanted to say thanks.

2009-03-09T22:37:00.001-04:00

Changes are a comin'.....

Yeah There is going to be a few changes, and after looking into some stuff, I"m making some changes here. First I will be going to get Mobile Me and use that as my personal email address, and use it to make a small site for myself-along with the disk storage and other cool features. I am also going to change some of this blog around.

What does this mean to you? the people who read this?

not much really. I will be changing the name and the URL slightly to streamline stuff. Content isn't going to change, so expect the same garbage as before. I found I can change the URL and name, and just link that to my new site with little difficulty. the old URL will still work from what I understand, so you lazy dolt don't have to do a thing.

As I said I will have a new email address for my personal emails. I'll send an email out about that when I get things up and running. As far as my current email address, I"m keeping that as my "junk" address-the one I give for websites and other stuff. Luckily I can have all that mail forwarded to my new address, and properly deleted immediately. Maybe at some point I will get rid of the account, but for a while it will be active.

This isn't a sudden thing. It's going to take a few weeks or so. I may setup things as early as this weekend to get the ball rolling, but those who I think should know, will.

2009-03-08T23:54:00.001-04:00

In these economic times, thanks to the deadbeats and morons who deserve to lose their shit, I decided to try to consolidate a lot of my stuff. I figured it's time to cut some deadweight, and see if I can save a buck or to. Mostly, it's more just to simplify my life. I am planning on taking a look at what's left of my 401(k) at BoA and moving it over to the one I have now. I also have other accounts I have to look at and see what can be done with them. Those most likely will be taking whatever is in them and putting them in my "long-term, dream, big shiny things" savings account. I've been going around here as well and consolidating some other things, like the DirectTV thing, where it's cheaper than cable.

one other thing is I want to consolidate some online stuff. Since registering some domain names, I want to use them and build a personal website. My goal is to have one where there's a main page saying something about me, a bio/resume page, blog page, and maybe a media page for photos or videos I shoot. Right now I'm looking at places to host all this. I"m looking at mobileMe form apple, which would consolidate a lot of things into one area. I would have a new e-mail address via this way, but I would have my Gmail stuff forward to it-but use the me.com address as my main address. This is would be perminant for a lot of the sites I visit, and the me.com would be the one to contact me at. Like I said, you COULD contact me via my gmail account if I did go with MobileMe for personal emails, but the response would be reminders of not to, and would get meaner and meaner for each time my request is not honored. I'm shocked how many people still send crap to me MSN account. I DON'T USE THE DAMN ADDRESS, STOP EMAILING IT. it's only still around because it's an admin account for someone else who still uses MSN.

Now, my concern with MobileMe is space. the service starts with 20 gigs for email and storage, and 200GB of monthly data transfer. that' part is the thing: I am not sure how much is used a month by me, and how much is used by you people looking at this blog. One idea I had was to try to link this Blogger as is-maybe redesigned and linked to "domainnamewillIuse.com/blog". I have to look at the advanced options and see if it's possible here. That I think would help solve part of the data transfer limit part. I'm not sure, so I have to look around.

MobileMe is $99/year, and I could add an extra 20gigs storage for an extra $50/year. What has me really looking at going with the service is the features like:

-All my info will by synced with my phone and computers-if I change something in my Ical on my phone it will be synced with my desktop computer and web app
-access to all my apps via web, which is good if i need to use someone else's computer's web browser and access my stuff
-disk storage, where I can put stuff on this virtual "hard drive" and access it anywhere, or if it's like pics or a large file, I can send an email to whoever I want to show it a link to download said file and or photo. I can even put a password on it to make sure only those I want to see it can.
-also supersecure email system, even more than google and without ads

like I said, still throwing this around. Building the site itself would be simple since Iweb comes with my computer and uploading it would be somewhat simple. I also would like to see what other companies offer for serving and hoqw much I get for the price

what do you think? and ideas suggestions would be welcomed

2009-03-05T23:20:00.001-05:00

I feel cool sorta. I just registered a couple domain names on godaddy.com. I registered a couple versions of my name, but not one version, some dud in England owns it/ I'm not sure what to do with my names now, I may merge all the stuff I do online onto one site. Like merge this blog, and do some other stuff on it. I"ve thought of doing a small site for myself, just never really had the energy to try. In this world of new media, I guess that's what is a good thing to do.

I had a discussion with someone today about jobs and the ones we have now and what we wanted. I wanted a job in the media-either in TV, print, radio, etc. I went to school to go down that road but it got sidetracked. First I went to the wrong school for it. Second I entered the field just when it stared to get into the mess it is now. think of the current market, like any other job market, like a giant washing machine churning and churning with more and more clothes added to it everyday. I could have continued to chase the dream, but I wanted a job where I could afford to eat, and also I learned chasing dreams could be nothing more than chasing ghosts. I did the freelance thing for a bit, but that's a nightmare. You have to work ten times as hard as a guy who works for one company, and as the years go on, the more people in the pool of talent gets more cutthroat. It's an intense, stressful gig. In the end I got to the point where I thought to myself: "I don't need this", and decided to get a regular job. I thought about it and maybe I do this blog as a way to "live the dream" in a way.

2009-03-03T23:09:00.000-05:00

"Little Big Planet" is still an amazing game. I turned it on for the first time in a while, and the amount of creative levels online astound me. I am so intimidated to even try to create another level. I downloaded the "Metal Gear Solid" costumes and level set, and how the developers came up with a fun, creative set of levels just amazes me the power of creativity-you know, the thing most people are trying to destroy in this world? I could spend hours going through the levels out there, and there are some damn good levels, granted there are some real crap levels as well. If you haven't tried this game, please do. it's a game you can't leave feeling good.

One game that has not made me feel good is MLB 09 for the PS3. It hasn't made me feel good because IT'S NOT HERE!!!! I ordered it through Amazon, since they gave me a nice price break on the game where with shipping it cost me as much as buying it at the store with tax. It was shipped UPS, and the website said it would be delivered today. Well on the site most of the day it said it left the Long Island City site to be delivered. tonight when I got home I checked again, and it still said that. EIther the snow storm affected deliveries today, or they are taking one long-ass route to my house. Well, later on the site said they couldn't deliver and they would tomorrow. I"m pissed, but given the storm this past week, I can sort of see how they couldn't deliver on some of these streets,

Finally I am thinking of getting a Mac Mini and putting it in my living room. I am thinking of hooking it to my TV, and have that as my media center and not the Apple TV I have now. It also would be another computer to use in my house, where I don't have to go to another room to use. I could put the TV show in PIP, and check my emails or surf the web during a game looking for some info. My plan would be to hook the mini up via HDMI, which would mean I would need a switcher since both HDMI ports are used. Or I could try to hook it in via the monitor port on even component ports. I wouldn't need a backup hard drive, since I would probably stream all my media from the Mac in my room via a wireless ad hoc network. Along with sharing the media, be able to access the other files on my Imac. I wouldn't do what most do when they have a Mini as a media center-use it as a DVR-since the Satellite receiver already does that. As far as a keyboard/mouse, I would simply use the wireless ones I have now, and get wired ones for my Imac. What do you guys think? Any thoughts and/or advice?

Then again this is all dependent on how much I get back from my tax rebate. But after seeing the new specs on the minis, this idea started swirling in my head again. Plus the Mini is inexpensive and just looks cool

2009-03-02T22:45:00.000-05:00

I"m really getting bothered by the Liberals out there. Rush Limbaugh said he hoped Obama fails, and now everyone and their other is bitching and moaning about how this is counter-productive and anti-American. Funny, when these ass-hats were bashing Bush, somehow it wasn't anti-American, and they were using THEIR free speech. Now they want to in short shut down Rush and make him apologize for HIM using his right of FREE FUCKING SPEECH!!! It's one thing if he hoped Obama was killed or harmed, that's flat out illegal (which the Post should be brought up on charges for if you think about it with their comic), but Rush just said he doesn't agree with Obama's plans and hopes he doesn't succeed. How is that wrong? Shame, the Liberals are more close-minded and more the Fascists in this country.

i love the media, but when it comes to subjects like this, it makes me angry that only one side is shown, and it's usually some ill-informed, ignorant crybaby that gets media attention. I was watching MSNBC since I was stuck home for a short while, and there's this dumb piece of garbage named Mika Brzezinski. this unsexy whore has no business in media, since she has proven that she must have failed journalism 101. She sits there, talks over EVERYONE on the show, editorialize after every story....NO ONE GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK, YOU DUMB WHORE!!! and she just sucks on the air. Her voice have me a headache, and she tries to be hot but in that desperate-to-get-laid-at-60 way.

This isn't just her in the media, and female anchor is just as bad. Wanna know how they got their jobs?? look for the white residue on the corner of their mouths. Morning news has gone with the hot sluts to do traffic and weather, but they are the news skanks-the next generation. I want to learn Spanish since the Spanish stations got it right-Hot chicks who seem to know what they hell they are doing. seriously, it's like watching a porno with headlines when you watch Spanish television.

Finally, someone I know has an AIM away message that is a lyric form a song. I think it is "divas is just a female hustler", or something to that effect. In reality "Diva" is nothing more than a nice way to call a woman the C-word. Think about it and how the word is usually used, and you'll see that I am right. Of course the brainless morons puts the word on little girls clothes and that just perpetuates the materialistic "brand names or nothing", gold-digging mentality that some women believe in.

OK, the "Pete's bitter about women" remarks should start in 3...2...1....

2009-03-01T22:16:00.001-05:00

I"m sitting here watching the snow to fall, and hoping the office is closed. I highly doubt it, so I am getting up earlier to get in. I have to since the awesome MTA is so horrible at both managing money and the system, I am not sure if the train is going to even be running. The MTA stinks, but that's with all the government agencies. I find it insulting and aggravating that I, a responsible person who knows how far his money will go, has to support a bunch of deadbeats and parasites who have no respect or knowledge to fucking say no to an impulse buy. I wrote a lot of my anger about these scum, so I won't get into it. Before you crybabies go "but there are those who really are victims to circumstances like medical bills, and catastrophic events in their lives..." I know that, and for every one of these people there are at least 100 of the scum who should just be executed in order to cut our losses.

This week was the start of Lent, and a reminder of how horrible I am as a Catholic. I didn't get my ashes on Ash Wednesday and did eat meat that day and Friday. that is not good as a Catholic. On top of it I haven't been to church in several years-last time I was in a church was for my Dad' funeral. I may not be what the Catholics would consider a good person, but I feel I am better than most of those who really think they are "Good Catholic people." I never killed a person. I have no need to bang another person's wife. I stand up for those I feel are wronged. I do a hell of a lot for others. I just do the right thing, or at least what I feel that is the right thing. I follow a lot of the lessons my father and my family has instilled in me, and if after all that I have done isn't good enough to get into Heaven, so be it. To me if all I do isn't good enough to be there, I have no need to be there since that would mean I would have to go against what I was taught by parents, which would be against one of the Ten Commandments.

Also, this week I picked up a couple games for the PS3. First I got Street Fighter 4, which is the long-awaited sequel to the long-running series. this series spawned an entire genre in video games, and after all these years it's still the best series. So far I am cheating to get al the hidden characters before I start to really play it. It's not the best to play with the regular game controller. they sell arcade sticks, which look like the type you find in arcades, but I am not going to spend $150 on something for one games. They sell a different controller that supposed to be easier to play the game, which down the road I may take a look at. Don't get me wrong, the game plays good with the controller, but the regular controller is not made for these types of games.

The second game I got is "flower" that is on sale on the Playstation Network. It's a game, but more of an art project. you fly around with pedals opening other flowers, which brings the areas where the flowers are "alive" (like turn frown grass to luscious green), and the landscape changes to become more beautiful. You can't "die" or lose in "flower", so there's no real penalty if you don't get what you have to do done. The goal is to open all the flowers. I find this game more of an art project, but also a good demo of the "sixaxis" controller capabilities (the stock PS3 controller, where it can translate how you move/hold the controller into actions on the screen on some games), as well as the graphic power of the PS3. the game looks amazing, and is something that all PS3 owners should look at. It's only $10 bucks and something that can be relaxing and fun to do once in a while.

One more review I have to give is on the "Big City Slider Grill." Yes, I fell for the awesome selling power of Billy Mays and got it. It's a pan with five cutouts that you put balls of ground beef, chicken, turkey, or anything you want to cook. there's a scoop included to measure out the beef. After you fill the spaces and put the top on, you start to cook it on the stove. You press down on the top to form the burgers, and after a couple minutes you take the burgers out. It's a little hard to since there grease splatters up and sits in the spaces due to no draining. After cooking each batch, it's best to drain the pan. what's cool is the design of the pan allows you to easily drain the grease with little mess. Cleaning it up is not a big problem, and it's good that it's non-stick, so it's not a big deal. It also comes with a bunch of instructions to make different types of burgers, so you can make a variety of tasty treats. I recommend it especially if you want to make a quick meal. It's not a faulty gimmick like the "Shamwow".

2009-02-23T23:35:00.001-05:00

I spent part of the weekend watching the NFL combine. It's probably the worst thing to watch. Actually it's good for one thing: i took a good nap having it on. It was good to watch for about 20 minutes, where I was thinking "interesting to see what they actually do at this thing", but that wears out quickly. I don't understand how these things can really evaluate if a guy is a good pro or not. I think there is a much better way to see who's a pro and who's not. You split the invites into a bunch f teams and have them play several games under inter-squad rules (no hard tackles, no tackling the QB, but a sack is either a two hand tag or you wrap your arms around him, etc.). Have the offenses and defenses use the most common NFL plays form a common playbook made for the combine. First off it would show players in game situations, where the game sort of means something. Second it would be something interesting to watch. I understand the NFl Network needs to have content for their network, but the current combine setup is unwatchable, and whoever really enjoys the current setup should seriously consider putting the barrel of a shotgun in his mouth and pulling the trigger.

On the other side of the spectrum, I lobe the NHL network, especially their "NHL on the fly". It's a program where they analyze the news of the day, look at the games that day, and then have highlights and look-ins to games. it's a great show and really informative. MLB network is also going to have a show like this, and I can't wait. After seeing these networks, I have no real use for "Sportscenter" anymore.

I heard and read something interesting the other week. It seems Limp Bizkit is getting back together. I used to like their music, and some of it I still do, but most of their work just doesn't hold up over time. I still enjoy their first album, and most of their second album, but beyond that their work sounds like garbage now. THey are a bad who had their run, but in the end the entire music world shifted and they were left behind. I'll give them that they did try to change. but it didn't work. Then again they were part of the last great hard rock wave, which is probably going to be the last one, given what the toilet of rock radio looks like now. That's even if rock radio even remains after this year, since most rock stations are dying off. It's sad and frustrating where what is considered rock these days is just pop that isn't as "cleaned up". What is considered rebellious and or edgy is so calculated and/or edited and coddled that it comes off pathetic.

some here said that I shouldn't feel old, but being someone who has looked and studied the media in general, i really do feel like a dinosaur and part of me hopes this really is the end times. If everything ended now, then I don't have to endure a generation of pantywastes being raised now that won't and will not stand up for what they want and actually have a set to be someone, and not part of the collective sludge that is being bred these days. Music reflects the world it is created in, and so far the world the music is about being pussies, and not chasing it.

in fact, seeing how some of these morons handle life now shows me that this country is fucked on so many levels. Look at your job and you can see who are the ones who worked to earn where they were, and who were given what they have and feel entitled to it and more. More and more it's the latter in the work force and it frightens me. it frightens me that this is what garbage is going to run this world, and probably run it into the ground.

What can I do? I"m just going to go through this world doing what I do, and if it pisses these people off, good. Hope their stress and anxiety and the overdramatic bullshit leads them to have massive heart attacks and strokes. It's said that the goal of a generation is to leave the world a better place for the next, and if my grandfather and father saw the world I have to deal with, they and those of their generation couldn't help but feel like they failed. That to me is sad and enraging. If you feel like I do, I suggest you all go to the people you know form the previous generation(parents, aunts and uncles, etc.) and tell them that what they taught you will not be forgotten, and you will teach the next generation these values and how to be "right", no matter how much the shitstain of society tells you what you are doing is wrong.

2009-02-22T23:13:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to post a couple things. I really have no major things to talk about tonight. I updated my resume, and can be viewed via the link on this page. I didn’t lose my job or anything, but felt like updating it just in case.

I also wanted to add I put a few links up on the side as well to a few more things I like and support. One is a blog of someone I know. It’s one about his DJ gigs and just some Dj-related/music stuff. He’s a good DJ. He’s not really one of those “break out the glow sticks and start popping some X”-type, at least not on the surface. For all I know some of his clients do that regardless of him DJing or not
Link here, as well on side of page
Another link is of a tattoo parlor ran by a guy I know. He did my tat and I will be using his services again at some point, just need to figure out what to get.
Link here, as well on side of page

Along with these there are a bunch of other links on the side, so enjoy. Yes I pimp other’s sites, but only those who are good and haven’t screwed me over.

2009-02-18T22:39:00.001-05:00

I'm really enjoying my Direct TV. ti's crystal clear and doesn't crap out like my cable HD used to do. Today with the clouds and all the signal still was good and there was no issues. Later this week should be interesting with the storm supposedly coming in, but seeing how the installer put the dish in with all the supports, it looks pretty stout. I"m still getting used to the channel lineup, where each channel is, and I'm amazed by the selection. I have the sports pack, where I have a lot of the sports channels from the different regions around the country, like NESN, MASN, and all the NYC ones. it's fun to watch some of these yokels in their towns, and how they aren't really different than the NYC yokels, just change the team names. They do tend to be blacked out after 7, mostly due to the PPPV sports packages like the NHL and NBA packages.

One thing I noticed is that the NHL and MLB channels are following the exact same model as the NFl channel-not that's a bad thing. the format of the shows in certain times and how their studios are set up are a lot alike. Speaking of these channels, they are really helpful to me. I"ve been trying to get back into following the NHL and their channel is really helpful. I"ve started to consolidate my sports following-I stopped following European soccer for the most part and wanted to focus on soccer here, and I learned I should pay attention to only the teams in season so i don't get burnt out.

So if you can, get Satellite, it's awesome.

Other than that I am starting to read the book "Confessions of an Economic Hitman". So far it's really giving evidence that my crazy theory on who runs this world is legit. It's an interesting read. It's the story of one of these guys who would go around the world and try to get world leaders to fall in line with the US and their companies interests, and if they don't...well things happen. Nice to see when the US does this it's called diplomacy, but a couple hard working Italians do the same thing on the local level and they are called Mobsters and are committing crimes. See? the world is prejudiced against the Italians.

finally, here's one of my favorite songs/videos:

2009-02-15T22:19:00.000-05:00

Oh where to start. I’ll start with my trip to Columbus Ohio. The bus trip was ok, until about halfway where all the Jager and alcohol, Red Bulls, and BO came into full effect. At that point I was thinking maybe I should have spent the extra money to fly to the game. Anyway we get to the Stadium, and it was just before the huge storm rolled in. I stood out in the storm and the horizontal rain, high winds and hail. I didn’t do that to be macho or tough; I just couldn’t’ get back on the bus due to all the people who piled into it before I could get to it. After the storm rolled in and a nice rainbow appeared, it was time to go to the game. Crew Stadium is a glorified High School stadium constructed of aluminum, steel and concrete-perfect to be in during the unstable weather-but even then I would still take it over Giants Stadium. Sam’s Army was located on the end of the stadium where there was a roof. See, the people who run the stadium thought it would be smart to tear out one end of the stadium seats and put a stage there, making the average stadium look horrible. The good part of this was that the temporary bleachers there are under the stage’s roof.

The game itself was intense, and the US won 2-0 (or for you Spanish speaking friends, Dos A Cero). After the game we make it back to the bus while trying not getting blown away by the 60 MPH winds. Some after the game when to the hotel and then out to the bar to party, but I just went to the hotel. Why? Because I was so soaked from the rain I was freezing and thought it would stay in, warm up, and hopefully not die. I didn’t sleep at all that night, which helped me the next day going home. I slept a good part of the trip home, which is a good thing. Pennsylvania and Ohio suck to drive through. I used to not mind it, but now I cant’ stand it and had flashbacks from my trips to and from school. It’s hard to tell where Pennsylvania ends and Ohio begins-it’s all farmland. Further proof that everything and everyone between LA and NY are hayseeds or rubes. So that’s my report about my trip. I have a video that is related to my trip all edited up, but form some reason I can’t upload it to the free web space Verizon gives with DSL subscribers. I’m not sure if it’s me not using my FTP program right or what, but at some point I may have to upload it to YouTube.

Saturday was the big day where I got my Direct TV installed. The guy came in about 1 and was done by 5. So far I am enjoying the system, and feel good about my decision. The channels all come in clear, and It blows away all of Time Warner Cable’s offering. It’s got some cool features, and a lot of channels. All the HBO’s aren’t in HD, but it’s not a big issue for me. This week will be a big test when the weather supposed to get bad, and see how the reception is. I was told overall it wouldn’t be affected, especially since I had the dish professionally installed, but we will see.

Today I learned something important; make sure you have the right address AND city programmed into a GPS. I found myself at the right street and address, but In the wrong town. Eventually and 20 minutes later I was at the right spot. Eh, live and learn.

One last thing I have to do to close this entry. I was told someone is an avid reader of this, why I don’t know but it’s cool to hear. So What’s up Richie? Binks told me you read this so I figured I’d give a shout-out to you

2009-02-08T21:57:00.000-05:00

Seeing the Grammy's are on tonight, I thought of something I wanted to mention a while ago. it's more for the Rock and Roll hall of fame farce that is in Cleveland. they opened an annex in NYC, which means there's a glorified garage sale somewhere in NYC. Here's a tip for you rubes wanting to go to that Hall of Fame: go to any Hard Rock Cafe in America instead. You'll see MUCH better rock memorabilia, and also be able to get some good food. The only reason one should go to Cleveland is if your football or baseball career is in the dumps and you need to go to team, and you prefer a big hayseed town over a small one that minor league teams are found in.

This week is my trip to Ohio, but a classier town than Cleveland. I get to go to Columbus, home of some college that apparently has an average college. Well the college there is so insecure with their identity, they went to court to make sure they can call themselves "THE Ohio State University". OSU Alums sound so retarded when they emphasize "THE", well they are THE biggest asswipes in the country, and they are only good at chocking in the big game. Best joke I heard about OSU was from , oddly enough, A Michigan fan:

Q. How do you get a Buckeye off your porch?
A. You pay for the Pizza

But seriously, I cant' wait for the trip. It' going to be a fun time, and I"m not worried about the trip on the bus-I'm not on one of those Asian gambling buses or church buses that you tend to find littering the side of the highway.

One more week until I get Direct TV. Not that I'll get much time to use it next weekend, due to some commitments I made. They are all cool commitments since they mostly involve some important people both here and yet to come.

2009-02-03T22:38:00.001-05:00

Walking through the train station an ad hit me. The movie “Madea goes to Jail” is coming out, and I am now convinced Madea is the black man’s Ernest. So now the Blacks can stop bitching about inequality. Tyler Perry, the creator of the character and a producer/writer is, in my opinion, really overrated. A lot of his work is mediocre at best, and he’s more for a niche market. God bless the guy for having the success he’s had, I just don’t’ think he really deserves all the accolades he has gotten.

I also have been on a kick about music from my past. I was on Itunes last night and I bought a bunch of songs I remember when I was younger. I agree Itunes is a lot like crack, especially when the program suggests songs that you might like, and usually that is true. So the songs I got last night were:
“Cannonball”-Breeders
“Epic”, “We Care a lot”, and “Midlife Crisis” by Faith no More
“Seether” by Veruca Salt
“Pretend we’re Dead” by L7
“Naked Eye” by Luscious Jackson
“High-Fiving MF” and “Bound for the Floor” by Local H
“How could I just kill a man”, “Rock Superstar”, “Hand on the Pump”, and “I Ain’t Going out like that” by Cypress Hill

What’s really interesting is what is suggested for me now after these purchases. Also just now I got a few Slipknot tracks. Interesting side story: I was driving with my cousin this past weekend helping him moving some stuff, and I saw a billboard saying Slipknot is coming to NYC. I said to him “I’m too old for that concert.” My cousin says to me “Dude, THEY are too old for their concert!!” I laughed since I found it funny.

I need to find more music to listen to, in that I mean I need more bands to enjoy. So I got two things I need to do: get out more and socialize and find more interesting music to listen to. I know I should do it all myself but some help would be appreciated.

Also look up comic Joe DeRosa, he’s a funny dude.

2009-01-29T23:19:00.001-05:00

SO as I said in the past that I got the Flip Camera and I love it. It fits in m pocket, easy to use, and has an hour of video storage. The other day I put the video I shot on my Mac (via the built-in USB connector that fold into the camera), and decided to try the newer Imovie on my Mac for the first time. Up to now, I’ve been using the version before, Imovie HD. The newer Imovie is different. I won’t say it’s bad, I do plan on using it some more, but I might stay Imovie HD because it reminds me of the more professional editing programs and seems to have more tools than the newer Imovie. I understand the newer Imovie is made for “more accessibility”, but they could have added more features for those above dullard in their editing education. At least Apple is cool enough to keep Imovie HD available on their site.

I thought of some two good games to play to pass the time. First is done on the train. When you get off the train and standing on the platform, and just after the doors close, point to someone in the train and either laugh or say something really offensive and see what reaction you get. Sometimes it’s fun. One night I did it to a guy on the train and he lost his cool, screaming and banging on the glass as the train moved away. Another fun thing I found is to go to an apartment building or any building with an intercom system at the door, and just call up random people in said building and just say some nasty stuff about one person in the building. It’s best when you know the person you are doing this to. Doesn’t have to be anything really bad, just something simple as “Why does the guy in (insert apartment here) have kids in his apartment even though he is single? Does he run a day-care service?” or “Hi I have to drop off this cover-up for the woman in (apartment), could you come down and take it for her? Sorry, I wouldn’t be asking you to do this, and I know this is inconvenient, but if she knew to keep her mouth shut once in a while she wouldn’t need this makeup.” Or you could also say “which apartment has the cheap coke? (apartment a) or (apartment b)?” I usually go to (apartment a), but since he got that test back positive, I don’t feel safe going in there, especially with all the used needles and small confused boys with no pants on.”

OK, here’s a site I found you all may like:
http://www.holytaco.com/if-t-shirts-said-what-guys-were-really-thinking

2009-01-27T22:47:00.001-05:00

This is probably going to be the second longest thing I write tonight. I just got done writing a long ass email to a friend explaining that, as much as she seems to think she is “damaged good” due to the run of bad luck she is on, I’ve seen and known a lot worse. I wont’ go into detail of what I said, but I will say that this person has never shown to me the tendencies I’ve seen in women in my life time. It’s either the sociopathic tendencies, the apathetic tendencies to anyone and everyone around them, or on the other side of the spectrum-the melodramatic bullshit of how everything is going to hell over some minor thing. This person has never shown these things and in the end of my long w-winded email I reminded her that is she was so “damaged” she probably wouldn’t have nearly as many people around her that are willing to help her out when they can. And that email was probably one of the few times this week I will go out of my way to help others. Since this job I got has me helping others all day, I figure once it hits 5:01, I am not obligated to help anyone with a damn thing.
Anyway, last night I was trolling around the internet just looking at stuff. I was also listening to some music on my computer. A band came on that is one of those bands that always puts a smile on my face when I hear them. The band is called the Fun Lovin’ Criminals. They were a band in the 90’s that had some decent success here, bit in the end moved to the UK where they found a lot more success, and still do some damn good music. Not to mention they are a band from NYC, so that alone puts them above most of the music out there even if they stunk. They have a gimmick that is best described as part “Reservoir Dogs”, part Sopranos (which surprised me they didn’t get any fame during the show’s run since Mob-chic was in at the time). I chose a couple songs that I found the videos of on the net:

First is their biggest hit “the Fun Lovin’ Criminal”:

Second is a song called “Scoobie Snacks”, another decent hit:

now here’s a song called “The King of New York”

this one’s called “Big Night out”-unedited for the most part:

There are more videos out there, but here’s just a small sample. Look them up on Itunes, they got an interesting style to their music that warms the cockles of my heart.

2009-01-26T22:50:00.003-05:00

Tonight I ordered DirectTV for the house here. I am tired of Time Warner Cable, and my monthly bill will be less than what the cable is now. I got the sweet HD package, the DVR box ad three standard receivers for some of the other TVs in the house. It's scheduled to be installed on February 14th. I"m glad that it's scheduled then rather than sooner. This weekend I am busy, btw helping family out with some things, the UFC PPV with a main event so good that it doesn't even need full names; it's BJ vs GSP!!! Then sunday has some small football game on. The best part is that it's scheduled to be installed on Valentine's Day. So I got a gift for the one person I know loves me unconditionally and unquestionably-me. If that last line upset some of you, well to be honest pretty much everyone who has told me that they cared about me unconditionally and all that crap has failed me or flat out screwed me over.

New York has a new senator, and in less than one day she lost all credibility with me. She went to Harlem and met with Sharpton. She chose to acknowledge a terrorist and that alone made me lost any interest in her. Well, that's not true. She lost all credibility because Patterson chose her, and once again told NYC to to fuck themselves. I"m glad Kennedy didn't make it in, but any of the choices he had all were to push his anti-NYC agenda.

See in NY state, what happens is NYC makes ALL the money in the state, and then the parasites (anyone who doesn't live in NYC-suburbanites, the hayseeds, and all of the sucking hicks) take a ton of the money to fund their schools and agendas while giving NYC the finger. If you look at the proportions the money is split up and how much these hick towns get compared to NYC, it is sickening and should be illegal. The Suburbanites are the worst-they work in NYC and then run off with the money without giving much back. This is why I support a commuter tax, or at least doubling the city tax on anyone who lives outside the city but work in the city-you wanna play you gotta pay.

On top of it, the cash cow is having some problems thanks in part to those fucking thieves upstate bilking the city out of billions, is now being saddled EVEN MORE with the burden to prop up this state. Bottom line-if this state didn't have NYC, it would just be a glorified Nebraska, full of meth labs, racists, and hayseeds.

Finally, on a lighter note, one of the best scenes in "Ghostbusters". Interesting note: about 2:30 into this clip was the inspiration of something I used to try to win somoene back-yes, it's pathetic and sad, I admit, but I'll be honest that I paraphrased it and in the end I did look like an ass. I remember the look of disgust on the face of the person I first admitted this to, and the sheer joy he felt when the whole thing blew up in my face:

2009-01-25T22:30:00.001-05:00

I am sickened to the news to hear “Mall cop” is the #1 movies in the country. What the fuck people!? I seriously hope that no one that reads this went to see it, even if it was just to get laid. I don’t see how that is a funny movie. It’s a sad day in this country where that “comedy” is popular.

In the next couple weeks I am getting Direct TV. I did my research and I decided to get it. It’s going to be a little cheaper than the current cable bill, and I will be getting ore out of the satellite system. I’m probably getting it in two weeks, since this coming weekend is a little full. This coming weekend involves me help moving stuff from one place to another, a UFC PPV, and the Super Bowl.

I was supposed to go to a ESC membership drive/US soccer game showing. I as all set to go, despite the fact that the event was going to be held in a soccer bar that is more or less the tourist trap soccer bar in NYC. I’m also a bit jaded still after my last time there, where anything US soccer/MLS was shat on. Some people say it’s gotten better there, but I also hear it’s more due to the fact the owners of the bar are whores and put a smile on their faces for the MLS/US soccer thing when cash is thrown at them. I miss the old joint where we hung out. I didn’t go in the end because my ankle was killing me, and standing around on it in a bar isn’t a good thing.

This brought up something that sort of bothers me, but it’s partly my fault. I realize I really have no social life. It’s a problem I guess that I don’t’ go out much. I don’t know why it bothered me as I sat at home and watched “the Dark Night”, but it did. I guess it’s something I should work on.

2009-01-21T23:09:00.001-05:00

Interesting conversation I had today with someone. It seems that this person read my last entry and took issue with me insulting the sacred cow of New Jersey, Bon Jovi. I heard the opinion voiced to me, and just ignored it since I am a man, I had an opinion, and I chose to voice it. I had an opinion, so what? Everyone has opinions on everything, so deal with it.

That's the thing, a lot of people seem to not get that. I saw on the news some guy was fired from his job over what he had on his Facebook page. So the Nazi-izing of this country continues. Now it seems that your job can now dictate what you can say and do, even when you aren't working!!! I've also heard stories of people getting fired because someone saw them smoking WHEN THEY WEREN'T AT WORK!! What the fuck is going on here?

Look I have a myspace, a Facebook, Twitter, and this thing. If anyone that is a higher ranking person at my job sees this or anything of my stuff and has an issue with it, which I do on MY time on MY computer, go fuck yourselves and fire me. I DARE YOU TO FIRE ME. I will not sit here and give up my freedom to say what I want and feel, just because of the fear of losing my job due to some asshole being bitter he wishes he has balls like me. I go to work and that's "your time"-where I show up, do my job, then it's over. When the work day is over, it's MY time to do whatever the hell I want. This also goes with vacations. I will not be chained to a computer or Blackberry on MY time off. You have no right to even know where I am or know where I am.

Once again, anyone who is reading this from my job, if you don't like my attitude or opinions, tough. That's your problem, not mine. I dare you to fire me, and if you do, then it just shows what big of a pussy and spineless cocksucker you are, and I don't want to be associated with a company that would not respect a man's RIGHT to say what he wants outside of the workplace. If I wrote some rank shit here and did screamed it at the workplace, that's one thing, but I do my job to what is required of me, and that's as far as your rule over me goes.

But then again there is plenty of people, actually most people that won't stand up to this. Here's how things can change: when you find out a company wants to infringe on your rights, say no. If it means leaving the job, so be it and find a place that will welcome you. If enough people do this, then every company will see the truth and allow people do what they want outside of the workplace, and accept other opinions in the workplace-you know, DIVERSITY!!! But most of you people out there will crack and play the perpetual bottom and just take it hard form their job, and prove once again why I feel I am better than 90% of the people in the world, and many of the readers of this.

2009-01-20T23:17:00.001-05:00

I’ve been trying to figure out the state of New Jersey. Sure the state has its good points. It keeps the rubes and hayseeds from northern Pennsylvania and the animals from Philadelphia at a safe distance from New York. It also gives other states a place to dump their trash. And as I learned the other day, it does have the most interesting jailbait. I thought Long Island had the trashiest jailbait, but Jersey I think has the crown on that.

But on the other hand, there is some small issues. First off is that I can only think of a few people that I can stand from Jersey. The people from the ESC that live there are for the most part good people, and the same goes for the family members that live in the state. The soccer team I like, though the team doesn’t’ recognize the state in their name, as well as the Giants. The Jets I can do without, they seemed to enjoy the perpetual “bottom”-from being the second rate team that has to rent a stadium their entire existence, to getting second rate quarterbacks throughout the history of their team, to even up until this year, they never had their own training facility-they rented out space at a university on Long Island.

As I said before there are some good people in the state, but for every good person, there are tens of thousands that aren’t. Northern NJ isn’t too bad-since their existence and population either comes form or depends on New York. Southern NJ I am not totally familiar with, but since they are close to Philly, I am guessing it’s a lot like northern NJ, just dumbed down to a point where autistic children on acid have a better intelligence and maturity level. What doesn’t help the cause of South Jersey is that they helped make Spruingsteen famous-so I rest my case.

Central Jersey is simply what everywhere else would be called one giant trailer park. It’s full of real rubes and carneys, which I have gone over in the past. Put simply, these people are the type that will smile to your face, while take several grand from a group of people while promising a ski trip. Then this same person would go as far as have his family protect his ass, citing a “nervous breakdown”, when he knew people were going to hunt him down. Or they would also use ailing family members in need as a cover for their real activities behind the backs of people who put trust in what is said and done. Like I said, real carney bullshit that is low class and would be an embarrassment for any state, but accepted and encouraged in Jersey (just look at how the state politics work).

One more strike against the state-Bon fucking Jovi. The band that killed hard rock in the 80s but smiling and led to other shit acts like Poison, Winger, Ratt, and Whitesnake to become big acts.

As you can see, I am still on the fence about the Garden State. All I know is that outside of a few things, the Earth could wallow up the state, as long as Harrison and the PATH line isn’t affected on Game day.

2009-01-19T20:51:00.001-05:00

I really have nothing much to say here. I am just writing to kill some time. I did spend the day in Jersey today doing some things, and right now I have the need to shower since I feel unclean. The highlight was that in a parking lot I was looking for a spot, some pig in a Caddy in front of me wanted to back up since someone was backing out of a spot She (typical garbage that would do this) just kept backing up and would have went into the front of my car if I didn’t honk my horn. I didn’t’ back up to help her since I had several other cars behind me, and I refuse to help someone like her. So after a few seconds of honking back and forth, she sped forward, the person going out did, and I got the spot. I saw the idiot drive by me in her Caddy, and all she did was give me a MEAN look. I simple flipper off and yelled the word “cunt” and left my car. Yes people I am one classy guy to the ladies!!

Tomorrow is Inauguration Day. I always wondered why this is not a national holiday. Maybe because the Government figures it better to trivialize a civil rights leader’s memorial day with stupid sales than the day meant for the President’s official start to his term. What am I going to be doing on that day? Working and not really caring what snake oil the new guy is going to try to sell/bullshit to the unwashed masses. I still say, sure he’s a charismatic talker, one who is smooth with his words-but so are pimps, and I trust what a pimp says as much as a President says.

Eh as I said, I had nothing really to post. I just felt like writing something since it’s my goddamn page

2009-01-13T23:45:00.000-05:00

I have a great honor coming to me, at least I think it is a great honor. I was asked to be a Godfather to a future child. Some people may just blow off being a Godfather like “yeah, I’ll do and just to get that ceremony over” and not really thinking about it. I am taking this honor somewhat seriously. Being a Godparent is like being the next important teacher after the parents and grandparents. I am being asked to look after a child’s development and help mold this kid into something “right” for this planet after the parents do the main work.

I am looking forward to help out, but I am sure some of you are thinking “with all the shit I’ve said/done in life, why would someone want me in this position?” Also, after reading some of my theories I put up here, what constructive things can I teach a child? Well, knowing the parents of this child, I can tell you this kid will be brought up “right” and given the surrounding players in this child’s life, along with me, this child will somehow end up running things. Then again, knowing all these people, it could also be a mess when everyone’s ideas of teaching the child about life may contradict each other. Either way it should be fun!!

I already wanted to start influencing this child’s life. Knowing that the kid is going to be a girl, I thought I would make a CD so the mother can put headphones to her stomach, and instead of playing classical music like it’s suggested, play some Indigo Girls, Melissa Etheridge, and K.D. Lang, Why these artists? So that when the child is old enough, the parent’s will her the four greatest words a father can hear to make his life easier: ”Guys, I’m a Lesbian”.

Now, after reading what I just wrote, I am now convinced the decision to ask me to be the Godfather may not have been easy. I’m guessing it was the future father blurting my name out, and the expecting mother going “you want HIM to be the Godfather?!??! HIM?!??!” And then there was a long conversation and she allowed it.

All joking aside, and as much ball-busting I do to the guy, I’ve never been more proud of the future father. He’s stepped up and really gotten himself together as far as the whole soon-to-be-a-dad thing. It’s good to see him do this despite the many that have had doubts about him, but anyone who did doubted him really didn’t have a damn clue about him and what he’s gone through to get where he is today. It’s really cool to see him excelling at this.

See people, I can be sentimental, Don’t worry, I’ll be the vicious ass I usually am soon.

2009-01-11T00:06:00.001-05:00

Reading in the paper, and watching on TV about the Israeli and Palestinian scuffle in Gaza made me realize something. For 60 years, Israel and it’s neighbors are acting like the white trash neighbors I used to see in Pennsylvania. You’ve probably seen these classy folks on shows like “cops”, they are the neighbors that just don’t like each other. They start by dumping trash on each other’s yards, or one throws rocks at the other person’s house, tuff like that. Occasionally one calls the cops to accuse the other of having a Meth lab or growing pot in the basement, you get the idea. Occasionally there’s that drunken brawl outside between the two neighbors or entire family, where the cops have to come. This is what’s happening now, but it seems like the cops are not in the mood to get to the problem (they’ve been called so many times to the houses that it’s more of an annoyance to them), or they just figure “fuck it, let them kick the shit out of each other and maybe this will end.” This is how I look at the whole situation over there as.

Right now after seeing all road teams win today, I hope the trend ends tomorrow in both games. I want the Steelers and Giants to win. Hopefully the luck runs out for the Eagles, who usually have this streak at the end of the year anyway and blow it in the playoffs. And I hope the Steelers can use the home field advantage to beat up on the Chargers. But the eagles and Chargers are dangerous teams, so that’s got me worried. I am glad that the Giants game is the early game, so that can get done and over with right away.

now for a couple vids:

Here’s a douchebag:

Now here’s a douchebag in Spanish-El douchebago:

and I hope this still happens to people…just because:

2009-01-07T23:33:00.002-05:00

I was going to lunch today and reading some f the articles on the AP news app on my Iphone, I realize that maybe in college I should have gone to college for a Journalism degree. I must say before I start this,, that a family tradition continues: I found a Yip’s Chinese Restaurant by my job. My dad loved the place when her worked downtown (in fact I may be going to the same one he went to), and I love it as well. The food is really not that healthy, but goddamn it it’s delicious.

OK, back to what I started to say; I have been told I had a gift of writing and creativity. I also was always fascinated with the media and it’s workings. I did try to get into the media by way of TV/video. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoyed learning and working in TV. But lately I find writing and being creative with words and trying to paint a picture with said words more satisfying. I also find on an emotional level writing has more of an impact, because I am not using a picture that can distort a message. Many people reading this and also some of the emails I have written have told me that they can feel whatever I was trying to convey emotionally. It sucks I figured this shit out now, but I guess that’s life. I’ve always said that life puts you in situations and places where you are supposed to be.

But at the same time, I know that I would either do well in writing in the media, or would be an outcast. The funny part is either result would be due to the same reason-my brutal honesty. I’ve read numerous stories about writers being fired because they wrote something that was negative about a sponsor or of their product of their magazine/website, and it was because the writer did their job: gave their opinion on what they felt about something, and used facts to back it up. There were a few guys with balls to back up these writers, but most are gone now and the editors today are just bitches to sponsorships and interest groups. It’s a nice thing to daydream about. I used to actually write a column for a website, but had to stop since the message board I also posted on would make the ideas I had for my column seem dated and it seemed like I was just rehashing my posts of that week into one column, and to me that felt like cheating, both myself and the creativity and whoever read my column. So I phased out writing my column and haven’t written another one since.

Like I said earlier, a much as I like to dream what would happen if I did go for a journalism degree, I know the choices I made in the past and where I am now is where I am supposed to be. I’m cool with that.

As cool as I am with things now, I still feel like there’s a void in my life. It’s been there for a while and as much as I try to fill the void, it either never does get full or it will be full for a moment but then it gets emptied. It’s not like a depressed feeling, but just one of that there’s something not right or broken. It could be the season, it could be that I’ve lost a lot of things that have made me happy lately as well as over the past several years, or it could be a combination of all these things. I can’t put a finger on what it is but I’m sure something will come along to fill this void and make things “right” again.

Still, given the situation this world is in, I really have nothing to complain about. I know people in worse shape, so I’m not saying everything is falling apart or my life sucks like some drama queen (trust me, I’ve had my share of them over the years). As how things are in my life, I know that there are even worse, unhealthier situations I could be in.

Finally, as far as what I said when it came to my tattoo, I have it narrowed down to what I want to get. Let’s just say I think it’s going to be a animal head, a religious symbol, a Chinese symbol, or try to come up with something original about myself or family.

2009-01-07T23:33:00.001-05:00

2009-01-06T23:00:00.001-05:00

It’s a sad day for me, one that really has me upset. 1up.com is gone, at least how I remember it. It was bought up by UGO, and from all the Twitter notes and stuff, the only thing that will remain is the name. Apparently everyone was laid off and it looks like all the podcasts are over. A shame, since I loved 1up Yours. It’s not a shock since this has been rumored for months, but still it’s sad. It also means EGM is gone, so that’s one less magazine I’ll be getting. A shame, but in the advent of digital media (which they should get credit for trying to build in their own right) is making print media a dying breed.

This came after the good news I got, where I have everything squared away for the most part. I have my room reserved and my spot on the bus and ticket all set. On top of getting my benefits forms into HR, so my medical and 401(k) should be set. Though the news at work did get a little dark, where in a meeting today I heard there will be no raises, no company contributions to the 401(k) plans, and more or less was threatened when the bosses said there is no hiring freeze, but they will be hiring when necessary. I took this as a threat when right after that fact came the whole “we need you to do your best and step up, blah, blah blah”. Gotta love this global economic meltdown caused by asshats who couldn’t wait to get that car, or TV, or house when they could, God forbid, afford the damn thing. Good job deadbeats for screwing things up in my life.

On some other selfish thoughts, in that I will speak about myself now, I am looking into getting Satellite TV in the house here. Time Warner sucks, and from what I see, I can get more from satellite over cable. So if the numbers look good, I will be making a call to get Satellite.

I also may have figured out my next tattoo. I say may because I have a couple ideas dancing around my head. If anyone has any ideas and suggestions, let me know. I know where I am putting in (lower leg/calf), just want something that will “fit” there well.

Finally I have to plug “the Monday morning Podcast” by Bill Burr. Download the last episode and check it out, probably the funniest show I heard in a while. Go to his website and check it out: billburr.com. Also, Lazlow.com has the latest “Lazlow show” up to be downloaded. While you’re there, buy something from his site and show you will actually show someone who creates something respect buy buying his wares and not steal it

2009-01-05T21:53:00.001-05:00

Ah as usual, Monday’s suck. Seems like all the work I do the week before is negated and I’m at square one. On top of it, being the first full day of working since the holidays, it was insane. So I had a lot of phone calls over stupid shit, and I got almost nothing done. Today further cemented my anger for lawyers. I don’t’ care if any read this, I really don’t like your kind. For a group of people who supposedly spent thousands of dollars on education, some of you guys are shockingly dumb!!! I had to explain to a person injury lawyer about the regulation he should know inside out. These lawyers don’t’ have the right forms that the state requires for no-fault, but they either use forms they come up with, or continue to use the outdated forms. Then I am called the asshole because I just ask for things the STATE asks for, not just what the company asks for. Danny DeVito in “Other People’s Money” said it best; lawyers will screw this country up so bad, the Communists will come out of the woodwork and take over. And what is the first thing the Communists do? THEY SHOOT ALL THE LAWYERS!!!

BTW that movie and “Wall Street”, as good as they are, also show what led to the global economic decline and meltdown we find ourselves in today. Take a good look at these films and you’ll see what I see.

On a good note, I booked my room in Ohio for February. Still waiting for the bus/ticket details, but that will come soon. I can’t wait for this game. I’ve been to a bunch of US games in my lifetime as well as US-Mexico games, but I’ve never been to a US-Mexico game when it is a World Cup Qualifier final round. I really am looking forward to the trip, thought I may not wear any PSU gear ad stay with USA gear while I am in the land of the Hayseeds that is Columbus.

2009-01-04T19:52:00.002-05:00

Don’t you love it when someone proves themselves to be what they really are, and know you have the choice as to what to do now since they already made theirs?

See, I had plans to hang out this afternoon. I made these plans last week, so there was time to make sure that all that was in place so that one is available to hang out. Well last night things were shaky when I was told that I would have to wait for a phone call when this person is available. Well that never came, and that action-or lack of action actually-showed me what this person really was about. Bottom line is that it’s just another thing to be left on the side of the road. They chose not to do follow through with what they said they wanted to do, so now they have to deal with the results of their choice.

Some here may be thinking ”what an ass” when it comes to me. Well let me remind you what I am and how I roll. This is also good since there are probably a few new readers here.

First off, I follow the theory of “if someone wants you around, they will make it so that you are.” Anyone blowing me off or lying to me just shows me that I am not wanted around, and therefore I don’t’ want that type of “person” around me. People choose not to want me around, and then they have to live with the repercussions of that choice if they come around me again and I look at them like a pile of shit.

I don’t settle for less than what I want out of someone or something, and no one gets what he or she want at my expense. I’ve been asked a ton of times by women that they don’t want anything more than a friendship after going our with me a few times, and none of them gets that. To me, when they ask me for just friendship, that tells me they want me for what they have now in someone they can talk to intimately, but the ability to go bang anyone else. I will not be the “guy friend” and I’ve pissed a lot of women off buy telling them to piss off. Not just with women, I’ve walked out of a lot of events or situation where if I were not going to get what I want out of it, then I would be wasting my time being there. My time is limited, why waste it?

Don’t’ ever question me in what I say or do. Whenever I do something or say something, I actually have thought it out and it’s not just flying out of me. I don’t say or do anything that I couldn’t handle if it was put on me. So for those who have thought I am an ass and do/say thing out of not thinking it through, you’re wrong and I find it an insult when I am questioned about it. Which leads me to…

At least 95% of the time I am right. In the end, what I say or do will be proven to be right in the end. This has happed many times and I have proven many wrong. Though I admit I can be a tad bit of a sore winner-if I prove someone wrong I can be highly obnoxious and can really “spike the ball” one too many times. I say 95% of the time, because I have been wrong. I’m not perfect nor have I ever said I was. The last two people to call themselves perfect was either nailed to a cross or died in a hotel room from heart issues due to the life of a wrestler. I hate to be wrong, and I remember the last time I had to admit I was wrong about something it made my stomach hurt. So lesson from this is that if I say or do something, it’s a good shot I am right.

Finally, I refer to a lot of people as garbage or some equivalent because I really feel as if I am better than 90% of people in this world. Those who I know and call friends I feel are at my level or higher; anyone else has yet to prove to me that they are at my level. Looking at the news I can’t help but feel like I am better than most of the “people” on this planet.

I am wrong from time to time, but I also have the balls to actually take responsibility for being wrong. This is what pisses me off about this world. People will do something wrong and either “pass the buck” or just blow it off like “not my fault”. This is what caused the economic collapse. People living off of money they didn’t have and acting that they have no responsibility to the debt they amassed. Finally someone stood up and asked their deadbeats “where’s my money?” and that cause the domino affect to where we are today. And rather than these parasites take responsibility and start paying off their debts, they went to the Government to get more money so they don’t have to face reality. Fuck you parasites, stop stealing my money and actually take responsibility for your actions. I hope that the government doesn’t help down the road and you end up on the street and possibly die. I am not like you in that I have paid off all my college debts and every other debt I had, its not that hard, but then again this society for some reason coddles the stupid and socially retarded rather than let Darwinism work and kill you useless scum off. If it wasn’t for you, living beyond your goddamn means, most of the stuff in this world would not be overpriced and it might be actually affordable to live, rather than struggling to survive.

I’m arrogant? You think I’m an asshole? Yeah I can be called a lot of things, but I am an honest person and I feel that how I am and what I do is right. It’s a shame a lot of others in this world don’t think this way-the world would be a better place if they did. Maybe I should pass my knowledge on to the next generation and try to counteract all the bullshit and counterproductive pussification of this world. Who knows, if I can influence one person to think this way, the ripple affect will cause this world to “get right”.

Those who can accept and agree with me, good for you, and you’re welcome to join me in living like I am-the life of the righteous. Otherwise, piss off, stop reading this, and hope all the horrible things that will happen to you happen at once, rather than slowly over time. Me personally I hope the latter happens because you probably do deserve all that slow pain.

2008-12-31T23:40:00.001-05:00

First off read the top page of http://www.lazlow.com/, although there is an update, just read the first two things on the site.

Done? Good.

See shit like this pisses me off. I am not ashamed to say I do not pirate any goddamn thing, I pay for anything I need. I go through Itunes and whatever to buy any media. I used to use Limewire, but going through the illegal route can lead to problems from the files you get, so why risk it. It’s like fucking some slut, sure it may feel good and it’s cheap, but the dangers that could come with it makes the risk not worth it. I rather work a little and go through the right routes since then I know that it’s low risk and in the end more pleasurable. I can understand what artists go through; they make something they should be paid for it. Unfortunately, this cumstain generation these pussy parents are raising somehow think it’s ok to just steal media and that “everything should be free, MAAAAAAAAANNNN!!!” See, the generation og jerkoffs are trying to be communists. People, pay for your shit, and the artist will love you. Donate to the computer guy who created that software you downloaded for free. The guy went though enough to make it, so give the guy something. I work and I expect to get paid, as do you people I am sure, so how is that different for someone who creates anything and sell it do they can eat.

I am not ashamed to say I bought a bunch of stuff off the Lazlow site. These guys do a good job with their show, they are funny, and are cool people in general, despite that they may come off as degenerates. Still I think these guys deserve all they work for and they have every right to get paid in full-as Erik B and Rakim once said.

Sorry, just pissed seeing god people get fucked over when it comes to money.

Yes I am writing this on New Year’s Eave, but I can give two shits about it. All this night is to me is just a night before a day off for me. This night and St Patrick’s Day us just an excuse for some pussies to drink and act like shitheads-hopefully they get the clap or something for their stupidity.

ONE MORE THING FROM LAZLOW.COM-WARNING!!! PIMPING SHIT HERE:

it's coming.

January 3rd.

Wayne and Lazlow will be fresh back from Jamaica with plenty of tales to tell.

Reed will most likely be back from a mancation with his entourage of strange single men.

Tune in.....

2008-12-30T23:30:00.001-05:00

I am not happy with my cousin. He rekindled an addiction I had a while ago. He did this with one gift for Christmas, so technically it was he and his wife. He bought me one of my favorite games of all time, “Chrono Trigger”, that was re-released for the Nintendo DS. I remember this game when it was on the Super NES, and I thought it was, and still is, one of the best role-playing games ever created. Now when I go to bed I have to play it before I go to bed. On top of this, I found all the other stuff I had for my DS, like “Brain Age”, “Super Mario Kart DS”, and I’ve been playing those as well. Today I was in J&R by City Hall, and looking at all the software they have for the system both impresses me and scares me. I picked up Brain Age 2 and a program that supposedly helps one learn Spanish. The software is relatively cheap, and the numbers of units sold each month says to me the DS is the crack of videogames. My sister even got one this week and got that stupid cooking game that is in the commercials with that moron Lisa Kudrow.

I wish I had taken a picture of my DS when I found it-the dust on it was impressive. I was shocked that it still worked after I charged it up. Considering how long it as since I used it, I was thinking the battery wouldn’t take a charge. Anyway I’m playing with it again, and that just takes up time after work for me, along with my PS3. Which leads to my next point.

I admit the PS3 sucks when it comes to online gaming. Sony should have centralized the whole online system like Microsoft. Sony should have out a headset in each box as well, even if it’s a cheap wired USB one. It drives me nuts when I am playing “Cal of Duty” and can’t communicate with my team in some matches. Now Sony decided to further take a shit on online experience on their system with “Playstation Home”. Before you all start screaming, “It’s still a beta”, well it’ still shit. All it is for the most part is one spot where Sony can try to gouge its customers in a bad online lobby. People, if you are going to go online to play videogames…BUY A FUCKING HEADSET!!! It makes the experience better. I almost got thrown off the Home Beta when it first came out when I got so tired of everyone trying to type what they were saying to me using the videogame controller, I started screaming “How fucking retarded are all of you that you want to be online yet won’t voice chat. Buy a goddamn headset you dumb motherfuckers!!” Then an admin came to me and threatened to throw me out if I don’t stop using abusive language. I just said I was voicing my opinion not only on the beta-what I was supposed to do being a tester-but also the whole online agenda by Sony. Don’t’ get me wrong I love my PS3; I just wish the online part was better thought out.

2008-12-28T22:03:00.000-05:00

J-E-T-S HA HA HA!!!!! I cannot be happier to see the Jets fail once again. It made me feel so good that it made the Giant’s loss irrelevant (but it was pointless anyway since they already got the #1 seed). Seeing Favre fall apart like that put so much joy in my heart, I can’t describe it. My hatred for the Jets runs deep, and was made deeper the past several years. I don’t know why I wish so much ill will on the team, but I do so that’s how it is. To me, the Jets didn’t do anything more than what the Lions did this year-both are loser teams this year and the only thing that separates them is that the Lions had enough class to give up early and not tease their fans with hope.

This glorious news came later in the day. Earlier in the day I got the coolest toy from Best Buy. I picked up the Buick of remotes- the Logitech Harmony 550 universal remote. I only got the Buick of remotes because I couldn’t afford the Cadillac of remotes, which was like $200. I needed a new universal remote since the Phillips one I did have bit the dust. I got home, setup the software on the Mac, got all the info on my components in my entertainment center, and in at most 20 minutes I had the remote setup. I have it setup to turn on all that is needed to watch TV with the push of a button, and I also set it up to turn on all that is needed to play videogames as well as listen to music/watch movies on my Apple TV (which the remote works surprising well). I can’t recommend this remote any more-go out and get it if you want to clear up that coffee table/living room full of remotes.

Last night had probably the most exciting UFC event I’ve seen, where all the bouts ended with knockouts. “Rampage” Jackson just cold-cocked Vanderlei Silva with the most vicious punch I’ve seen. Frank Mir came out and knocked out “Minotauro” Noguera to with the Interim Heavyweight title and will have a re-match with Brock Lesnar to unify the title. Rashad Evans proved why he’s one of the best fighters out there by winning the light-heavyweight title from Forrest Griffin. Evans seems to get a lot of flack, but the fact he’s undefeated and did that by beating the best fighters in the world and won the title should shut a lot of people up.
And now to end this entry-MASHUPS!!! Yeah I look for this crap on the internet, among other things.

2008-12-24T23:48:00.002-05:00

This is the first entry on my new Imac. I got it today and got it setup within an hour and a half one all the files and settings were migrated over to it from my old Macbook. It took a little longer with getting the back up program setup since it didn’t recognize the older backups from the old computer.
Here’s a pic of my setup that I took with my Iphone

my impressions so far:
-The 20-inch IMac is huge. It startled me a couple times as I entered the room at first. I could only imagine what it would have been like if I got the 24 inch one. One think I like with the larger screen (about 7 inches bigger), is I have room on the screen for multiple applications at once. I feel like what the Romans did when the conquered the world-“Ah, breathing room!”

-Once again, unpacking an Apple product was almost a pleasure. I should take some pics of the box and show how simple it is to get it unpacked and setup. Even pairing the keyboard and mouse was easy. Running the Migration Assistant program to move my files over was a piece of cake-plug in a FireWire cable, put the laptop in different mode, and click Start-the program did the rest in about 90 minutes or so.

-Speaking of the keyboard and mouse, they are something I have to get used to. The mouse is their Mighty Mouse, and it has several buttons. It’s a pain to use at first but I adapted quickly. I set it up the way I want as far as button assignments, and it’s going well. I’m just not used to using one on a Mac due to my macbook having a track pad. The keyboard is aluminum and about the same size of the laptop’s. Some of the F buttons do different things, but overall it works well and is set up like it was on my MacBook for the most part, so there’s a level of familiarity. Both are wireless, so it’s nice to not have the cables cluttering up the area

-I like that everything is wired into it and not all wireless. The Internet connection is wired via Ethernet, but I keep the wireless card on so I can communicate with the Apple TV. I have my external hard drive hooked in via FireWire so backups will happen in intervals and I don’t have to worry about it. I have the sync /charge cable for the Iphone and the USB cable for the printer hooked in. It looks all nice and neat behind my computer-something that never happens with a PC unless you spend a lot of time working on it.

Finally I wanted to share some Christmas cheer, this video warms my cockles. A true classic and a shame it didn’t’ turn out the way I’m sure most wish it did with a corpse.

2008-12-23T23:19:00.001-05:00

February is shaping up to be a fun month. On the 11th the US plays Mexico in a World Cup Qualifier. This is THE matchup in the region. it's like Yankees-Red Sox, but actually interesting. A match of this magnitude deserves the best venue for which the combatants can go at each other. The US Soccer Federation chose as this venue....Columbus, Ohio. And to tell you the truth it's the best place to hold the game. See, in world soccer, national teams choose venues that are best advantageous to them. Mexico chooses Mexico city-where the high altitude, heat, and pollution in mid-day gives them an advantage over other teams. The US 2 years ago decided "let's fuck with the Mexicans" and put a game in Columbus in the cold weather. the result? Mexicans wouldn't leave the locker room to warm up and the US dominated the Mexicans. SInce then it's almost a rule to put this game in Ohio, where there will defiantly a pro-US crowd (as apposed to most major cities where it turns into an away game), and weather the US players are more acclimated with. I intend on going to this game. I cant' wait for it.

Last weekend I bought a new computer. I got an Imac to replace my Macbook. Why am I doing this when the Macbook still is good? well I don't need it since I can get the web and email on my Iphone, and I like the idea of my computer "plugged in"-where the DSL modem and my hard drive for back up is constantly plugged in. Here are the specs of it:

20" iMac -
Intel Core 2 Duo 2.66GHz,
2GB Memory, 320GB HD,
WIRELESS KB & MOUSE
2GB 800MHz DDR2 SDRAM,
360GB SATA, 8X SuperDrive, 10/100/1000,
ATI Radeon HD 2600 Pro,
AirPort
Extreme 802.11 Bluetooth 2.0,
iSight,
OS X 10.5 Leopard

Got a good deal on Macmall.com for it. Why didn't I wait for any upgrades coming this year? Well seeing the potential upgrades Apple will do, I don't see it worth waiting for. Here's a simple conversion rate for Apple's upgrades:

whatever they do to the Macbook, it will happen to the Mac Mini.
Whatever they do to the Macbook Pro, it will happen to the Imac.

Look at the changes hardware-wise between the old and new Macbook Pros, I don't see it being worth it. I also got a wireless keyboard and mouse, and I will be looking into putting the Imac where my TV is now and I can use my computer in bed. If not it will look good on my computer stand.

Merry Christmas to all

2008-12-20T23:45:00.002-05:00

Here’s an article about the blind bastard that is in charge of the state of NY and his idea on how to save the state:

Now, in short, anything you do in the state will officially cost you more to do. From going to a movie, shopping, and downloading music or anything will have another charge added to it on top of the sales tax. This all isn’t a shock since these problems were forecasted when Pataki was still in charge and that the next governor would have a lot of issues to deal with. On top of all these new taxes, the good governor is cutting minor things like education and healthcare particularly for seniors. So on top of paying more for everything while not having your salary adjusted for them, your parents may die due to the healthcare cuts, and your kids will be dumber because there’s no money to teach them anything. Now I see why people are moving out of the city and state.

On top of it the state will be cutting the money they give to NYC, which ironically is mostly money collected by the state FROM THE CITY. NYC bankrolls this state, NYC should have all the say about how things are ran since this is where everything is really done, but some dumb hicks upstate think that the cash cow in NYC can run on their own will still giving them money. So what does this mean? It means the city will tax it’s citizens EVEN MORE, which is what Bloomberg has suggested. And then the MTA is crying poor and plans on bilking people for more money but somehow keep the shitty service they have now.

A couple thoughts about all this:
First, I still rather have a blind jackass in charge over the last guy. Spitzer had horrible financial sense and would have done worse with the budget probably. This is the guy who spent thousands of dollars on some trash from Jersey, which as I said in the past he could have gotten the same thing with some week and a 6-pack down on the shore. Always remember this (which I thank my cousin for finally beating into my head after some tense arguments last year-almost damaged our relationship):

Second: the whole idea of socialism doesn’t sound too bad. Funny thing is those states that have the “real Americans” that are against Communism and Socialism are the biggest parasites when it comes to the payouts in state aid. Look up the stats and a lot of the red states are the ones who get the most of the state aid, some as much as 2-to-1 compared what they give to the federal government. Also one big plus to Socialism: most countries that do have socialized healthcare and programs have the hottest chicks. Don’t ask me why, but Canada and the Scandinavian countries somehow have really hot chicks, and I think it is due to socialism.

Finally I felt like adding some videos now on a post, so here’s one, and what is said in this is damn true:

2008-12-17T23:02:00.000-05:00

I was going through some old files and crap in my documents folder tonight, and I found an old email I got from someone about a year and a half ago, and this person wrote:
"I don't need you as an emotional rock, I don't need you to be anything other than Pete. Just Be Pete."

I read this and after I sat here thinking....What the hell did/does that really mean? I do remember all I did at that time was be myself, and it didn't work out...I think that's the best way of putting it. After mulling over the question for a bit, I realized that's just someone in a long line of people that didn't want me to be me in the end. Like I said about jobs goes along with people as well. If someone wants you around, they would have you around. Those who don't want you around are simple just another piece of trash on the side of the road that is life.

After that pondering, a commercial for the new movie "Valkyrie" was on the TV. I did notice that it's coming out on Christmas. I'm not sure that when I think of the birth of Jesus I equate that with Nazi Germany and Hitler. Then again Tom Cruise does think he IS Jesus in that glorified Sci-fi convention/posi scheme called Scientology.

And in case that last part did offend anyone into Scientology....well good. What's the worse that's going to happen? A lawyer comes to sue me? Please, my job now involves speaking to lawyers and they don't scare me with their big words. Well they do talk tough until the ambulance drives by their office and then the phone conversation suddenly ends with them screaming "KA CHING" and hanging up....

Anyway, I also tried to help out someone with gift ideas for his nephew. I suggested the "My first Meth Lab" given where his nephew lives. I suggested this also after I was given a description of what his nephew looks like, and he sounds EXACTLY what a hayseed from PA would look like. I say hayseed because I learned my rules about geography from the great mind of Ron Bennington-between NYC and LA, other than Chicago, is all just farmers/hayseeds/rubes. He also said dessert is part of the meal, but that's another thing to delve deep into. Put it simply, where he lives, they just got that awesome music called Heavy Metal, and they are really enjoying that new band Judas Priest. What is the response to my idea? I quote the text I got back: "Ass"

Facebook is interesting. I found a ton of old High School classmates, and also a ton of ESC members. It's cool and also amazing seeing how people have changed over the past 12 years (12 YEARS?!?!?! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!! I'M GETTING FUCKING OLD). I'm still wading my way through the site, and it's been a learning experience.

now for some mashup videos I found. sorta related, the great radio show that's so good they only have to do one show a month, "Lazlow show is on again Jan 3rd:

2008-12-16T22:57:00.001-05:00

Just some random thoughts for you people:

So I finally got a Facebook page. it seems pretty cool but I just started messing around with it. Look up my name and be a pal

I was watching "the Ultimate Fighter" all season and every time I see the one coach Frank Mir, I kept thinking of Ben Affleck's character from "Mallrats".

here's a couple videos that I know one you'll not get out of your head all day

Thank you Lazlow.com for pointing this out:

now a moment of Zen

2008-12-14T23:48:00.002-05:00

Just some quick hits as I am about to fall asleep, but sad I was going to write something here for you people. See what I do for the tons of fan I have??

-if anyone that reads this even chuckles at the ad for the new Kevin James movie , which apparently is about a security guard going to save the mall from crooks, kill yourself. You don't know what is funny. You and whoever said it was ok to spend money on making it should be stoned to death and your bodies should be dragged around the streets.

-went to Newark today for some Brazilian food and an indoor soccer game. the food was great, along with the drinks at the game, but the game itself and the bar we went to after stunk. Indoor soccer is garbage and in all honesty I only went there to hang out with some friends. I doubt they read this crap, but thanks Binks for coming up with the event, and thanks to all the ESC people today-it was a good time.

-I may break down and make a Facebook account. First me into it makes it uncool I think and second if I do it, I'll whore it out here some point this week.

-Finally, the famous speech from "The Warriors", I saw it and was thinking that Obama sounds a lot like Cyrus. Of course the last part of the video is something no one wants to see happen to Obama, but the first part sounds a lot like him and it would be cool if he could deliver a speech this powerful when he's sworn in:

2008-12-12T00:33:00.001-05:00

I happened to catch the classic movie "48 hrs." on cable a few times, and I always find it extremely entertaining. It was when Eddie Murphy was funny, Nick Nolte played the perfect drunk. I also like the fact that the actors who play Ganz and Luther were also in another classic film "the Warriors" (playing Ajax and Luther respectively), and it had the crazy indian from "Predator".

Speaking of movies, I got "the Dark Knight" on Blu-ray today and it was AMAZING!!! Some were pissed with the surround sound on a little too high, but that's not my problem. Heath ledger did an amazing job a the Joker, and blew the original bar set by Jack Nickelson way too high.

So the Mets picked up a player named Putz, I can't wait for the day when this happens at Citi Field:

Finally, I think I found the perfect press secretary for the new administration (from yet another classic film-"Spies Like Us":

2008-12-08T23:34:00.000-05:00

Ha ha!!! De La Hoya quit in his fight after he was bitch slapped around the ring by a midget (or the new term I heard for little people-“kickables”). Before someone tries to defend De La Hoya by saying he was hurt, bottom line he quit. If I was a Mexican, or Mexican American, I would be ashamed to have him associated with my people. Mexican boxers NEVER quit in a fight, no matter how beat they are. This jackass is always going “I am proud of my Mexican heritage, I am a Mexican-American, etc.”, but Pacquao showed everyone what most thought of De La Hoya, a has-been fighter that has no business in the ring, and that was proven back when Mayweather owned him in their fight.

Now De La Hoya can go run his company and work with that second rate T-shirt company and help them with their promotion...oh wait, Golden Boy promotions put one of their marquee boxing events in 2009 not only the same day as their partners’ Affliction MMA event, but in the same town!!! Way to work together dummies!!! If both wanted to make some money on their clusterfucks, they should have combined the events. God knows the MMA event needs the ticket sales since apparently having a main event pitting an overrated fighter they are protecting while giving them a trinket they call a world title, against a fighter that hasn’t really been relevant in years. Yeah, I called Fedor overrated; I don’t think he is as good as the hype.

Now a video, goodnight people:

2008-12-07T23:01:00.001-05:00

I first wanted to show you something. This was shot with my Flip camera that I bought recently. It’s a small video camera that hooks into your computer with a USB connector that is attached to the camera. The software to edit it is on the camera and can be installed onto the computer, but you can use your own editing software as well (like Imovie). The video quality is at the “web” level that Imovie exports video at (it can export at different levels of quality, I chose “web” so it’s a smaller file but still looks good). It’s just random videos I shot put together over the past couple weeks-some stuff by my job, my dog, and the gravesite of my dad and aunt that I took this past Saturday. Friday was the anniversary-it’s been 3 years since my dad died, hence why I went up with my mom and sister. There’s no sound since I screwed up importing the video, but there wasn’t anything important in the audio.

here's my video

Speaking of computer stuff, I am thinking of getting a new Imac, and giving my sister my laptop. I thought about it and I really don’t need a laptop since any “portable” computing could be done on my phone. So I figure I will save up some money and in the next few months pick up an Imac. My sister wants a computer; so I figure I’ll giver her mine, and she has to just get a new battery for it (I think the one on it is going now). She said she would like it, but I’ll see.

I was doing my laundry this afternoon, and as I was cleaning my work clothes I had a thought hit me. I really miss my old job at BofA. It was not a glamorous job, but it was a job I felt happy in for the most part. I had unique hours, but those hours to me were great. I had a job that kept me busy throughout the day and I was left alone for the most part to do my job. I rarely had any problems at work, and I was just in a good place with it. I did my job, and my bosses never told me they had any problems with my work. I had a good professional relationship with my bosses, and they always were good to me.

Despite all this and all the good work I put in, especially all the extra work I did, I was still let go. This to me proved that no matter how much work you do and how well you do at your job, your employment is dependent upon how much you are wanted there. If your job wants you there, they will find a way to keep you there. If they don’t want you there, you will be let go and told some reason why. This isn’t just with jobs but with everything in life. If you are wanted in someone’s life, and if you want someone or something in your life, things will be done to make it possible. Having this revelation today made me feel better and less stressed about life. I also am going to not take a lot of things personal, professionally or personally.

Looking at my current job, I can see where I could work harder and stay later, but given what happened in my past jobs why should I? I am paid to work from 9a-5p, and in reality I don’t get any OT-at least not that I know of. This company has my between those hours, and I will do all that I can and what I am asked of between those hours. After those hours that I agreed to work, I am done with the job for the day. If I am asked to work a little more hours, I would consider it, but only if I am getting something out of it. I am done feeling any loyalty or team spirit with an employer when I know that I can be dropped from the company at anytime. This is also made me understand most sports players and why they move from team to team. I think that if you have that attitude going into a job, it makes it easier to cope with. Despite the state of the economy, one can still feel this way, and one will either lose their job-but at some point find one that fits them best, or do well at their job.

This is also why sometimes I feel college was sometimes a waste for me. I went into college thinking, “I need this to get a job”, but in reality it does help, but it is also overrated. How many people do you know that don’t have college degrees still were able to find their spot in this world? Even if someone went straight from High School to a vocational school, you can do well in this world. Sometimes I do wish I did this rather than have gone to college. It would have saved me a lot of money and possibly have landed me into a good career. Hell, I went and got certified to become a security guard and I theoretically have a job in that field and get paid as much, if not more, than what I get now.

I was also thinking that maybe I was pleased with the BofA job because simply it wasn’t an “office job.” As nice and safe a 9 to 5 office job is it’s still a job where I am in a cubicle all day. Many I am sure can understand what I am feeling. At my old job I was walking around, I had a level of freedom, and I was “working” where I can see the results of what I have done. Currently I am sitting in front of a computer typing in all this information and not “seeing” what the results are. Down the road I will see what the results are, but I just feel like I am not “doing” anything. The jobs my parent’s had weren’t “white collar”-my dad was a bus driver, my mom was a teacher-so maybe my idea of what a “job” is comes from seeing what they did. To me, they really earned their money and really worked. An office job to me, as cool and needed as it is, just seems like it’s not a job where you are working to produce something tangible. I guess that’s just me.

2008-12-04T23:43:00.001-05:00

Once again, I would like to tell you people with kids, if you think you matter when you are blocking a fucking stairway with your brat and his stroller as there is a wall of people trying to get down off he platform, then you have no right to complain if your kid gets punted down the stairs due to your stupidity and bad parenting.

This came from tonight, where I have had it with my train stop. My train station is over Roosevelt Ave. here in Queens, and to get onto the platform from the street is to climb up one flight of stairs to the first level of the station where the Metrocard machines and the booth is, and then you go through the turnstile to one of the two sets of stairs that lead to the train platform. Well the geniuses of the MTA took out one of the flights of stairs on the side of the station I end up on when I come home. During rush hour, the amount of people on the train is a tad high, and having al these people funneled into one narrow stairway makes it a tad annoying, especially when the trains are running back-to-back and a train arrives when there is still a crowd of people going to the stairs.

This is where the fucking asshole parents try to pull their "I have a kid, I am more important" and won't stand aside and wait for the crowd to die down. These selfish pricks use their kids like a shield, or a battering ram if there is a stroller, and try to push through everyone else. Now, some parents do show they actually care about their kids and do stay to the side, but the ones who don't-who have the skills in life of a savage-don't care about their child by putting them in danger where they could be dropped down a stairway or crushed. these are the same parents that want society to parent their kids so they don't have to teach their kid what's right or wrong, which ruins life for adults who were raised right. I just think when I see these "parents"-especially mothers since it goes to show having a kid doesn't mean those maternal instincts kick in-I think that seeing the kid they are carrying is close to falling due to the situation, a couple of months ago if the mother fell down these same stairs there wouldn't be this problem, would there?

ANother thing that got me tonight was watching the news tonight was about Africa and the disease in the continent. Seeing this stuff made me realize I have NO sympathy for the people there. They like to say that they are the birthplace of humanity, but it seems like they sure as hell haven't moved past that part. European countries tried to improve the countries there, albeit there were some negatives to it, but the Africans drove them out because they wanted to run things their way. I wonder how many people there wish the Europeans were still running the show. I"m sure the Europeans, no matter how fucked up some of the things they did, were angels compared to the savages that are the warlords and generals running things now. The Europeans didn't get off on mutilating the women and just hacking up some random person on the street. It staggers me how much money that is poured into the countries there and nothing is done. It's almost like having the MTA running the entire continent.

Just like most people I have had to deal, why should I feel bad for them with that won't do anything to better themselves? If people want change, they will do it or at least get the ball rolling to get changes done.

cheerful post, huh?

2008-12-03T22:19:00.000-05:00

It’s that time of the month again. This Saturday on XM 202 and Sirius 197 the Lazlow Show hits the airwaves. I’ll be listening to that, and I bet more people will be listening to that than watching De La Hoya-Pacquao fight. Face it people, boxing is a dying sport, and they have no one to blame but themselves for the promoters and organizations for messing it all up. People like to call the UFC and Dana White a bunch of assholes, but they protected their promotion and built it as the premier MMA promotion that most consider the best. Sure that second-rate Tapout wannabes can try their promotion with their one decent fighter, but Affliction is going to be out of business soon and that paper organization WAMMA will die soon if it isn’t already.

Next weekend I will make the trek to Newark for dinner with some in the ESC. I did it last year and I rocked. We went to a Brazilian restaurant where the food was awesome and plentiful and the price was pretty good too. This year though I am not going to the indoor soccer game after it, I’m just not into the indoor game.

Still have a tattoo in the future, and I’m still figuring out what exactly I will be getting. I have one idea, but just have to make it cool since when I came up to it, it seems a little hokey and not so cool. It’s also important that I get it right since it is supposed to represent something special to me, much like my other tattoo means something special to me.

God Bless Sean Avery. He said the best thing one can say about an ex and who she dates, and it sucks he’s getting his balls busted for it and will probably get punished for it. I wish he were still on the Rangers. He’s what a hockey player should be, but with the pussies in this society that wants everything family friendly, these guys are going away. Here’s the video:

and some more great hockey vids:

how the “Avery rule” was born

more Avery:

why the Avs-Red Wings rivalry used to rule:

old school brawls:

That’s it folks

2008-12-03T00:00:00.001-05:00

Oh this past couple days have been fun. I have had no hot water in the house, and I won’t until a part that was ordered comes in and that will fix the water heater. So in order to somewhat clean myself-or at least not smell too much like feet, ass, and pits-I had to sit at my sink and wash myself down like a fucking homeless bum in a fast food bathroom. The only way it would have felt better was if I had some heroin, a spoon, a lighter, and a needle. Seriously, I feel like a savage and I can’t wait to have hot water. Why didn’t I brave the shower with cold water? The idea of having a heart attack, potential hypothermia, and severe muscle cramps-as beautiful and fun as it is-just didn’t appeal to me. So I guess having someone as hot as me isn’t enough to warm things up here

I started my Christmas shopping last night and got some things online. I was going to go out to the stores after work, but I realized I hate people and I was in a bad enough mood I didn’t need to deal with morons. I learned the past couple weeks one thing; no matter how much extra it will cost, go with UPS. I’ve had a bad experience with the USPS recently, and FedEx can be a little dicey to deal with. I have never had any problem with UPS, and from now on, if it’s an option no matter how much it costs, I will only use UPS.

Some happy vids:

2008-11-30T23:14:00.001-05:00

I am sitting here feeling proud about a friend of mine. She’s had a shitty job for the past several months that apparently has caused her a lot of problems like panic attacks and illness. All this is due to stress, and she chose to start looking for another job. I’m proud of her because she saw a problem with her situation and chose to do something about it. It shocks me how many people in this world doesn’t do this, and they stay in their jobs and be miserable. A job is just that-a job. There are tons of other things one should focus on in their lives than just a job/career. In the end, what does all that focus on a job really does? To me, someone who chooses to focus all their energy and time on their jobs/career only ends up with little to show for their lives, along with shattered relationships, few friendships, and just an unhealthy quality of life.

I’ve known many throughout my life who had put all their energy into a job that consumed them physically and mentally that it was an unhealthy situation to be in. I’ve also had a couple people say they rather have their jobs their top priority over a relationship with their own family and me. Not only can this be a soul-crushing thing to hear, but also a sad thing to hear and I feel that these people are really pathetic. In the end people choose whatever the hell they want to do with their lives, just that the thing is that they damn sure better be able to live with themselves and be able to look at themselves and accept the choices they made.

I myself, I choose to keep my life and job separate. A job should not take up more than 12 hours of the day (including the commute to and from), and the rest of the day should be left for living and sleeping. I’ve been in situation where I had my workday/commute take up to about 18 hours a day, and after several weeks of that run, my mind was misfiring and I didn’t feel healthy. SO I chose to keep my workday limited to 12 hours, because in life you should take time to live and enjoy things, without feeling you need to produce something in order to get paid. Ay job that made me feel like my entire life and being revolved around a job, I left and got something else. Have I lost out on a lot of money? Probably, but I feel better about myself and can look at myself and feel like I made the right choice.

So I am proud someone at least sees it my way, and I am sure this person will find a better situation to work and live in. I hope some of you after reading this at least thought about your situation and possibly started your way onto a situation that is healthy and good for you.

Now onto a couple other subjects that I isn’t related to what I just wrote/ranted about. First off, I still haven’t heard any answers to the question I asked last week, which is give me one good reason to get a Facebook page since I’ve heard people say I should have one. When I hear a compelling argument, I may get one.

Also, I wrote this question on a videogame site, and I thought I would put it here as well, it also has my opinion on it as well, but I thought I would share:

I am not sure if this was ever brought up, but could one major issue with the PS3's somewhat lack of success be due to the fact that EA, the largest publisher out there, always puts more of an effort into the 360 versions of their products? I mean, it seems everything points to the obvious bias, but that has to be that one of EA's presidents just HAPPENS to have been one of the creators of the Xbox systems. To me as a consumer this doesn't seem right that EA is nothing more than a fair-weather fan when it comes to the consoles-they heavily favored the PS2 the last generation of games-only to slap sony in the face this time around with an agenda to favor a lesser-powered machine that is only saved by the fact they have their online system better set up. Is it possible that EA has told all their developers to push the 360 in both games and in PR or am I simply looking into a non-issue and trying to pass off a conspiracy theory as a PS3 owner?

I used to have a 360, but got a ps3 due to Blu-ray, the exclusive content Sony has is better than Microsoft's, and also looked at the non-exclusive games as the same on both but ran more stable on the PS3. I guess my assumption was wrong, since although the games on a PS3 look and run better, EA seems to think an average powered machine with a vast history of major problems (sony has had their share of issues but not nearly as widespread or serious).

2008-11-28T23:02:00.001-05:00

So the holiday season is upon us and I hate it. All those morons and rubes lining up for Black Friday at stores last night made me wish that there is a massive fire in these stores and most of the doors are blocked due to those “great deals”, just to thin out the herd a little. Yeah, the holidays do bring up the best out of me. Hell as I type this, I am watching a great feel-good movie that fits this holiday perfectly-“Scarface”

As far as my shopping for the holidays, I’m still debating if I am going to do what I did last year or actually get stuff for people. Maybe I’ll do a little bit of both, but last year it was so simple, and I didn’t get any complaints or anything given back due to anyone not liking them.

On another subject, I finally figured out what I would like as far as my next tattoo. I know where I want it, my leg, and I have a picture of what I want in my mind I just have to put it into something tangible to show the artist. If I did have some form of artistic skills I’d try to put it on paper, and maybe I’ll try to, but with my luck it will end up looking like dogshit or something that would look better if the artist blindfolded himself and put on the tattoo.

2008-11-24T22:47:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the finals of MLS Cup. I spent the good part of the day in Jersey going to a friend’s place to see the game. To be honest, if I had not taken this job I have now and was still unemployed I would have been out at the game. I knew that the team was going to lose-the Crew had too much talent on their team to not lose. Still for a part of the day, I couldn’t stop thinking, “Holy shit, I may see this team win.” Seeing this team win to me is much different than seeing any team I follow win. See RBNY is a team I saw “born.” I have followed this team since it was first announce as a franchise in MLS back in 1995 (they were known then as “Empire FC”-I wish they kept that name). I wrote about my first ever Metrostars game in 1996 (look it up in this blog, not going to find it for you). I remember the first time I was at most of the games in 2000 after college and then a season ticket holder for this team in 2001 and for several years after. I remember going to Rutgers several times in 2003 to watch them play in US Open Cup games and then the final that they lost in Giants Stadium to the Fire. I also remember all the bus trips to DC and Foxboro all these years, and the infamous van trip to DC where I saw a DC fan get knocked out with the ESC drum. All that I saw and endured with this team, both good and bad could have possibly made to look like nothing in a span of 90 minutes and one victory on Sunday.

For a span of 25 minutes it looked like I was going to see something amazing. But that’s only 25 minutes, not 90 and in the end the team lost 3-1. I will say the time I had at the house I was at did soften the loss, but no matter how ready and accepting I was that the loss was inevitable even before the start of the game, it did hurt. I usually don’t have hope for a lot of things-I rather stay with the reality of what’s going on and go from there-but for a moment I felt like a child hoping to get that big present that I hoped to get for so many years.

After a little time of hanging out, I drove home. Driving to and from my friend’s place meant I had to drive past the Garden State Parkway on 80. This is a significant spot for me and usually I try to avoid this spot. I avoid it because of the time I drove someone home one night from a drive-in just over the Jersey-NY border. The drive up and back from this drive-in, and dropping this person off make me feel at the time something very rare and possibly the first time with someone else: the feeling of that a person was with me and liked/cared about me without any obligation or ulterior motive. It was a magical night that I can never forget no matter how much damage and pain has happened since between this person and me. You would think that driving past this would be something that would make me smile if this was a good memory, but given the events that has transpired since then and also the loss of the game today, I had the feeling of “so close, yet so far” in both the victory for the team today and a personal success with me and this person that, unlike the team that can wait till next year, I know would never happen with me and her since things are pretty much irreparably damaged on both sides. So as I driving through this small part of Jersey, I looked down at the speedometer and I didn’t’ know a Kia Sportage could hit 100, but I got one to!! Outside of that small moment (which was about 5 mins of an hour trip that realistically I shouldn’t have given so much of a shit over), the trip home was uneventful.

(If you don’t know what the hell I was talking about in that last paragraph, go read some of the past entries from about a year ago)

A couple of non-related matters to close this entry. Everyone seems to mention I should have a facebook page. I barely care about my Myspace page; I doubt I would put much effort into that page. Also, what does Facebook have to offer me that would make it worth my time? Also, get jimmy Norton’s book “I Hate Your Guts”, a fine literary work where he talks about the things and people he hates. It’s funny and fun to read if you want to feel better about yourself.

2008-11-22T23:03:00.000-05:00

This past week I’ve been in bad shape. I’ve been sick most of it, and I was in such bad shape I had to stay home. In said state I had nothing to do other than amaze how each sip of cold water makes me shiver or sip anything warm makes me sweat like the room is 110 degrees, and also sleep. In between these fun activities I was also reading some books, mostly to keep my mind off my situation and just try to boost my attitude. As I read, what I am about to write was coming into my head.

First off, I don’t know why, but most of my life, but I have had a like of whiny little babies to deal with. What I mean is people who all their lives revolved around wallowing in their miseries and just bitch and bitch and bitch. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been known to complain a bit but at the same time after I get it out, I figure out what I have and what I can and have to do to change the situation. This is what most sane people do but I somehow find those who don’t follow this pattern of action.

I knew someone who had a shitty job, but all this person did was cry that she was just a dumb waitress, she didn’t amount to anything, she hated NYC, and a lot of other petty little problems. Then again this wonderful attitude led to her not having contact with her family, losing a lot of her friends, and just acting that she’s the strong person that is above everything and everyone. In reality, her attitude showed me she’s nothing but a weak person that was a parasite that was sucking the fun and life out of my time I was spending with her. I called her out on all her bitching, and she had no answer to any of her bitching. I’m lying: she did have an answer “Oh well I guess I’ll have to stay as a waitress and just work through it.”

I haven’t talked to her in a while, but I’m sure she’s still in her shitty restaurant working, while hanging out with the people she found immature and beneath her. She was really garbage and was that way because she put herself there. I had a theory that her and people like her actually like to be in that situation mostly because it’s a “safe” place to be since they are familiar with it. I also think some of these sick people actually get off on this situation. These are really sad, weak people that no good people deserve to have in their lives, and vice versa.

Another thing that was on my mind was work and the people that bitch that they have no time for those they love or care about because they work so much. I’m sure those who are reading this crap can understand whom I am referring to. These are the people who choose to work 14+ hours a day and/or work 6 days a week, and then turn around and wonder why people are pissed with them or they are pissed that there’s no time for anything outside of work, sleep, eat, shower, and shit…not in that order.
See, here’s my theory on how a job should work. On one’s average day, work should take up no more than a total of 12 hours of your day (and this includes all time commuting). Sometimes it’s cool to rack up some OT, but for the most part, 12 hours is more than enough. Then there should be 6-8 hours for sleep, which means one should have 4-8 hours of time for them to do whatever the hell they want to do. Any job that infringes of this schedule on a regular basis, I then start looking for another job if I am not promised that the higher work schedule is only temporary, and I will start looking elsewhere when I am bothered on my weekends or vacations with work. Most people seem to just “take it” that your life should revolve around your job. If one chooses to live this way, then they should accept that their life and whoever they have in their life may not be what they want. On top of this, the only people to complain to and cry about this if it doesn’t turn out what they want are themselves.

I knew some people that was like that, and although promises were made to hang out or whatever, they “had to work that extra shift” or “had to cover for someone”, all the time. Once again these people I do not deal with anymore, since they are also weak people who don’t deserve anything more than what they happen to get via dumb luck. What do I mean by weak? What I mean is that these people are not good socially, or weren’t in their childhoods, and they finally find a job that they can wrap themselves with and make their lives and not have to worry about the “outside” world. Funny thing is humans don’t want to be alone, and when they want others in their lives, they find it difficult to assimilate them into their lives because they would have to give up some work. That would mean a loss of part of and leaving their “safe zone.” This is sad to me, and I don’t want these sad people around me.

So let me give some words about strong people, and people that are better than most of those who I just wrote about. Strong people are the people who can look at something wrong in their lives and go “I have problem a in my life, now I am going to go and do something to rectify this problem.” Strong people do have complaints, but they put them out there, and then after that it’s done and either they get it fixed or leave it and move on. These people are the motivated ones who will move past from their issues and work to get rid of them rather than sit there and wallow in shit.

I’ve met many of these people, and some recently that in reality they are one mishap away from another line, another drink, or even simply blowing their brains out, but they are still out there trying to better themselves, moving past whatever there was in their past that caused them to do damage or be damaged. These people may seem fragile, but at least they had the strength to at least try to elevate their lives.

If this seems like nothing but ramblings and poorly written, well it was poorly thought out. Hey I was sick as hell and dehydrated when this was thought through.

2008-11-17T23:45:00.001-05:00

I think I am starting to get a cold. I figured out why I may be getting sick, and I have a theory why it is happening. At my job there’s a keypad and scanner for my hand to sign in and out. Next to this is a Purell hand sanitizer. Now, the first couple days I didn’t use it and things went well. One day I start to use it and now I may be getting sick. Now I don’t use it after this. I am starting to think that the companies that make the sanitizer products are in cahoots with the drug industry to make things so clean that we get sick easier due to the lower immune system and then the drug industry can profit in making us better again.

Here’s my theory-the Purell people and the drug industry saw people healthy and that means no real money coming in. The drug industry got the Purell or the cleaning people to make their stuff strong enough to make it so out immune systems are weakened, so disease can get into us and then the drug industry can sell us the cure and make money. Don’t’ believe me? Explain all the sudden outbreaks of staph infections, and some of the old-school afflictions coming back. Not only are they coming back but even stronger, which means the drug industry has to make different drugs and then can sell them to us at a premium.

When I was a kid, I played in the dirt and mud all the time. I was a kid. I mess things up with other kids and I didn’t worry about getting sick. I myself had to worry about other things, like making sure I can see the ball coming to me when I can barely see. When I was a kid, we didn’t have to worry about allergies or getting sick from eating something we shouldn’t have to. Today, if some kids eat something that happened to be in the vicinity of a peanut and their immune systems are so piss poor due to the over protective asshats called their parents, their throats slam shut and die. It amazes me how parents freak if their kids walk off he path in the park, or if kids play baseball they are not to slide or play in anyway that would be considered “aggressive” not just to cultivate a nation of pussies, but so they may not get dirty or scraped up. Seriously parents, once a week, throw your kids into some mud or something filthy, let them play in it or sit in it for a while. Kids have to have their immune systems worked out and strengthened, especially since there are things that they could potentially contract later on that will slowly take it away from them, usually somewhere in the range of ten years.

So people get dirty, and stop cleaning yourselves with that sanitizer shit. You’ll live longer

2008-11-12T23:22:00.001-05:00

I spent the night here trying out the level creator on LittleBigPlanet. It’s a real time-consuming thing, but in a fun way. I spent two hours and I barely got much of it done. Most of the night was experimenting and figuring out what to do. It’s probably going to be considered “simple” to most of the created levels I played already. I played levels based on “American Gladiators”, “Ninja Warrior”, and “Ghostbusters”. Along with them, there were some real innovative levels that involved escaping prisons, storming castles, and just some real creative stuff. Two levels weren’t even levels. One was created by a guy who figured out how to make sound with the switches, and re-created the background music to the Airman level in “Mega Man”, and a calculator that actually worked. The amazing thing was with these two levels is that you can see the switches and triggers that make it work. The attention to detail and amount of work blows my mind. Look on Youtube and I’m sure there are videos of the levels. Unfortunately the creators of the game are turning into Youtube and cracking down on questionable levels due to copyright stuff and content, but also like Youtube it is possible to find what you are looking for. I feel humbled as far as my level and how it’s going to look, but hopefully it works out and people will like it.

I can’t wait for my copy of “Mirror’s Edge” to arrive from Amazon. I chose this week to stop going to Gamestop after my experience today at lunch. I went to the Gamestop at the south street seaport to get a copy of “Motorstorm: Pacific Rift” (which I’ll talk about it in a bit). When I got there and asked for the game, the guy wouldn’t’ stop trying to sell me a used game they had. I said I wanted a new game, but he kept trying to push the used game on me. They do this since they make money off of used games than new games-since they don’t have to pay the game companies as far as used games. Finally after a couple minutes of this crap, he reluctantly got my “new” copy of the game, which was the disc, put in the case on the wall, and sealed in plastic…..well before he got to it I said forget it, and left. I wanted a new, ORIGINALLY SEALED game, and he said what he was doing was normal and ok. I left the store after explaining to him the misleading and probably illegal practice he was doing. I am not sure if this is a new thing, but I never saw it happen before. After a little back and forth, I left. I then went to J&R and got my game. It sucks Gamestop is monopolizing the game store business, but I will never go to their stores anymore. If I want a game, I’ll go to Best Buy or order in off of Amazon.com. Another thing to look up on Youtube or the net are the videos of ex-Gamestop employees talking about some of the practices of the company. It will amaze and maybe anger people.

Like I said, I got the new “Motorstorm” game, called Pacific Rift. It’s a lot like the first game-where several different type of off-road vehicles race on courses with several different paths, some are better for some vehicles than others. This version of the game has more than just desert races, but tropical races in jungles, volcanoes, mountains, and beaches (the premise of the game is that all the races are all held on a tropical island). The game looks amazing, and the diversity of the terrain blows away the first game. The developers improved everything about the game, from the load times, to the frame-rate, and how you progress through the game (all of which were really pains in the asses during the first game). This year also has online racing, which I haven’t tried yet but I hear it works well. I played a little of it tonight, but time issues meant I couldn’t play a lot.

It’s a good time to be a fan of videogames.

2008-11-10T23:26:00.001-05:00

The Red Bulls somehow pulled a win out of their asses, meaning in Hell I hope my dead uncle didn’t piss away his money down there on golf gear and can afford a jacket, but then again fuck him. That was a high point of the sports aspect of the weekend, which there was a small dark point late Saturday afternoon. Hey, the Rose Bowl is JUST as good as the national championship game!! Next weekend has the big UFC event and I’m pumped for it. With that and the RBNY game, it’s going to be a busy Saturday, on top of all the cleaning I have to do.

Speaking of last weekend, I went to a birthday dinner for my cousin’s wife’s birthday. It turned out to be a surprise birthday party, which everyone found out it was around lunch time Friday due to the awesome planning of the party organizer. Anyway I go over to my cousin’s place since he said to come over and we will go from there. I was shocked to see his wife there, since I though she would get there from work. We start out to the restaurant, and my cousin gave me his phone to make sure people who text/call know what’s up. I had to text the name of the place to someone, and just blurted out “what’s the name of the place?” My cousin caught on and gave me the entire address and everything. Yes, sometimes I’m as smooth as gravel. We get there and have dinner. It was a Filipino restaurant, and the food was quite good. I had some BBQ pork, but a lot of the food there looked good. It was a good size group there, and I did find at least one person agreed with my theory on the government. He truly is a wise stable man…..at least compared to the rest of his family. The place was also a karaoke bar, and not just English songs. They had a lot of the hits from the Philippines (I guess they were, not exactly up on my Filipino pop).

Amazon.com is like the Wal-Mart of the Internet, just less evil. I can find anything on that site. I bought a few things off their site, and since one of their warehouses is in Jersey, it gets here real quick. I haven’t really looked at the music part, though I hear it’s a pretty sweet setup. They make it worth it to shop on their site with the discounts and shipping prices, and they carry some obscure stuff one could need in whatever category you can think of. The ratings system is hit or miss, but that’s every site. There are sites where they say what thing to try to get the rating as low as possible, but most of these people are mindless sheep fan-boys of some videogame systems. Although I did find some really dumb things on the site I may have to write about and how stupid it looks and how it will NEVER be successful. Take this Rubik’s cube that is supposed to be revolutionary. First off it looks stupid with its blinking lights you are supposed to hit in time…I think that was revolutionary in the ‘80s. Looking at the “positive” reviews, it’s obvious that the people who make this piece of garbage are stuffing the ballot box. I’d love to hear the line of bullshit from the sales department that got this thing off the ground.

Gee, I wonder if I’ll be getting any phone calls/emails after that last rant. Apparently I may have to avoid 23rd street in Manhattan due to the sniper fire that will be coming from an office building. Then again it would be easy for one employee of the company since he will be at my place this weekend. Oh joy!!!

2008-11-06T22:07:00.001-05:00

Lazlow.com has the latest “Lazlow show” episode up. Check it out, and buy something from his site!! Sure he’s made thousands off Rockstar Games and the games he’s worked on, but his radio show is awesome and he deserves to get money for it. Plus proceeds of the show got to help out Big Wayne, who is THE MAN if you’ve heard him on the show!!! I make no money off this pimping, just want to spread the word

So the Illuminati have decided to put Obama in as the leader of the puppet government. Apparently Obama had his “meetings” with the FBI and several other government agencies to get brief on things. I think it was the Illuminati’s meeting with him to show Obama what really happened to Kennedy and to mention that if he doesn’t stay in line he’ll get it like JFK.

One note about the election coverage. I listened to the “Ron and Fez” show and their “Political Thunderdome Show” where they were on from 7-midnight covering the election and just entertain people through all this. They are truly the reason I keep my XM, their show never disappoints as far as comedic value.

I’m excited to see this inauguration. I was thinking about all the white presidents had their fossil rock bands to play songs of their day at these events. With Obama, there’s a chance of getting some nice Funk up in that party. Just think of the possibilities. Maybe Kool and the Gang, or the Ohio Players will be dishing out some nice jams for the event. I would love to see George Clinton and Parliament Funkadellic play just so I can here the phrase “the mothership has descended upon the White House.”

They already are starting to make some modifications to the Presidential motor pool:

And of course I found video of a preacher, a true man of the cloth explaining Obama’s struggles during the campaign and how God helped him rise up above it all to succeed:

Yeah, I’ve posted these before. So what, I find them funny, and as far as this thing goes if it makes me laugh it goes up on here!!!!

2008-11-02T22:12:00.001-05:00

Hello all. I am sitting here in bed just getting ready to get to sleep, but not sure if I will be able to. I am still a little nervous about this whole job. I’ve been reading the laws about no-fault insurance, and looking at all the forms I am to look at to make sure they are filled out correctly when they come in. It’s a little daunting and intimidating. I tried using the computer system last Friday and I did ok with someone there helping me, but I have to get used to the whole thing. All last week I was observing people do the job, but I never really had anyone go through the whole thing n detail, it was more like as they were going through it they would quickly say why they did what they did. I have no idea what’s happening this week, maybe it will be a slow process to make things easier for me, but it’s still a little overwhelming. I might look over all this stuff again before I go to sleep. I also have to fill out some forms when it comes to my direct deposit and some other things when it comes to some of the benefits I get with the job (also this is assuming I survive the probation period).

I also have to get my money order for my NYS security guard license and get all that stuff together to have sent out this week. I figure at least get it to have something to fall back on, and since I did go through all the classes and stuff I might as well finish off the whole process.

Some of you may be reading this going “Well, he’s talking out his ass again, this seems like a normal thought process of someone at a new job.” If so, then at least you can understand what’s going through my head right now. I really haven’t felt this before when it came to a job. Usually I would feel a little nervous about a job, but I would “get it” right away and do well with it. I guess we’ll see what happens.

One last job related thing: Downtown NYC has a real depressing feeling, at least for me. It’s not so much from the fact that I am a couple blocks form the WTC site, but just the architecture and layout just seems to give a depressing vibe. Also the fact that with the buildings set up the way they are, there’s almost no direct sunlight. As much as I don’t like sunlight, it is nice to have hit the skin every so often.

Now for a couple things non-job related. First off it was nice to see that the Giants smack around the Cowboys like the bitches they are. I was worried about the Giants’ defense when the season started, but it seems like they are playing better now than they did last year. That’s saying something considering the amount of turnover in the lineup from injuries, free agency, and retirement. The other tenant of Giants Stadium, the Red Bulls, almost shocked the MLS world by beating the Houston Dynamo last night. In the end the game ended tied 1-1, and now for RBNY to advance to the next round of the playoffs they have to win in Houston next week. The first round of the MLS playoffs is a two-game, home-and-away format where the winner is determined by total goals scored in both games.

There’s nothing to say about Penn State this weekend since they had a bye week. I still think that they are in a no-win situation. If they win the national title, there is going to be bitching about how they had a weak conference and no conference title game. Even winning the Big Ten will be a hollow win since the entire conference sucks. Now if PSU loses a game this year, then everyone will be like “see, they didn’t deserve to be ranked so high, they were overrated and paper tigers, blah, blah, blah…” Honestly, how would it be PSU fault if they do win it all when the system that is in place allows it, and all PSU did was play all the games in front of them and won them all?

Finally, I downloaded the demo of the game “Mirror’s Edge”. It is an amazing concept of a game, and I hope the full game lives up to the demo. Here’s a link to some info on the game:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror%27s_Edge

I played the demo and it takes a little getting used to the game mechanics, but after a little practice, it really is an amazing game. I can’t wait for the full version of the game. It could be one of those games that will lead to tons of other people stealing the concept for their games.

2008-10-31T06:33:00.002-04:00

Quick updates:

Lazlow Show is on Sat. Night. 9p-12a. XM 202

Also Ron and Fez are doing a special show Election night on XM 202 as well. They are on live from 7p-12a Tusday night. The Election "Thunderdome", two men enter, one man leaves

2008-10-28T22:43:00.001-04:00

Spent another day observing someone at this job. So far t seems straightforward as I’ve said before, but I still have a little apprehension about it all, but that could be since I haven’t tried it yet. I guess it’s normal, but I try not to worry about things I don’t know about. I learned from a book written by Pat Croce where he said that whatever job you have in front of you, no matter how bad or dumb, just do all you can and your best, and then you don’t have to feel bad about failing if you do. He has a lot of other wise things to say, and I may have to re-read the book I have that he wrote.

As I was coming home tonight, I was listening to my music, and a couple Sevendust songs came on that made me happy for some reason. They made me think about some things that have been going on around me lately and I smiled and it actually made me feel better about some of these things. I found the Lyrics for them and I thought I would put them up here:

“Bitch”
I can't imagine to be like you
The pain and the suffering you put me through woah
I can't imagine to be like you
The pain and the suffering you put me through

Don't tell me
I can't imagine to be like you
All the pain and the suffering I go through
You surround yourself with evil
Every night that you have is an equal

Don't hesitate
Or you'll live in your own hell
Out of my way
You're surrounded by evil
Don't hesitate
You can get away
Out of my way
Out of my way (huh)

The dark clouds that follow you
The rainy days will always find you
You can never get away
Evil comes another day

Don't hesitate
Or you live in your own hell
Out of my way you're surrounded by evil
Don't hesitate, you can't get away

I can't imagine to be like you
The pain and the suffering you put me through woah
I can't imagine to be like you
The pain and the suffering you put me through

Step up and
I can't imagine to be like you
All the pain and the suffering I go through
You surround yourself with evil
I hope it catches you up

I can't imagine to be like you
The pain and the suffering you put me through woah
I can't imagine to be like you
The pain and the suffering you put me through
I can't imagine to be like you
The pain and the suffering you put me through WOAH!
I can't imagine to be like you
The pain and the suffering you put me through

“Honesty”

It's not suppsed to hurt this much
But it can never feel the same again
I'm left with nothing
But the memory of the way you used to feel
I guess you finally took the deepest cut
I guess the blade on my tongue was just too much
Every word that I said came from my dark side
Now this emptiness is real

You reach beneath the surface more..

So go and leave me with my last regret
Let me feel the way you left me dead
Too blind to see
You stole my honesty

I think about the time we've lost
I think about the time
The silence could be words
And now the only sound I hear
Is my guilty conscience
Screaming out your name

You reach beneath the surface more..

So go and leave me with my last regret
Let me feel the way you left me dead
Too blind to see
You stole my honesty
So go and leave me with my last regret
Let me feel the way you left me dead
Go away and steal my thoughts of Honesty

Take back everything I said
A new place for us to begin
Take back everything...
Take back everything...
Take back everything I said

So go and leave me with my last regret
Let me feel the way you left me dead
Too blind to see
You stole my honesty
So go and leave me with my last regret
Let me feel the way you left me dead
Go away and steal my thoughts of Honesty

“Prayer”
I remember praying with you [repeat]

Feeling alone,
And I'm by myself
I can't find no one else
Thinking of you
Drives me crazy
I'm kinda feeling lazy

So much frustration
Built inside of me
Oh, it's killing me woah
What am I turned to
I can't lose you

Who do you pray to? [repeat twice]

This is my prayer for you all [repeat]

I stand all alone
Looking at my shoes
Making me think of you
Like my dad said
Boy be brave, don't let them take you no!
What can I do?
I think I'm losing you

This is my prayer for you all [repeat three times]

I remember praying with you [repeat]
You left me
Your gone [repeat twice]
I remember praying with you

2008-10-27T22:10:00.001-04:00

Today was my first day at my job. My occupation is a claims examiner for an auto insurance company. Today I observed someone do the job all day. In short, my job is to take claims that come in, look at all the paperwork, and determine if it is filled out correctly and that proper procedures were followed so that the company can pay them. It looks like a pretty straightforward job. It’s one of those jobs that it seems overwhelming at first, but once I get into the groove and get familiar with the programs used, it isn’t that bad. I did find it funny that in this age of modern programs like Access and other database programs, one of the programs being used is pretty much a MS DOS program. Sucks I have to remember my DOS shortcuts, but I will adapt. So far the people seem supportive and want me succeed. I still have the nervousness of it all being new, but I’m sure it will pass soon.

As a fallback, I am still sending in my security guard license form. I figure it wouldn’t hurt, and in case something happens I have something to fall back on. It’s going to cost me $140 bucks, but I feel it’s worth it.

Been going through “LittleBigPlanet”, and so far I love the game. It’s got a nice pace, some good challenges and it’s just an enjoyable game. I haven’t gotten close to collecting all the items, but I can come back to the earlier stages with the stuff I got form the other stages to unlock and find the other items. I haven’t even started to create a stage yet. I figure I would go through the game, get as much as I can as far as the items to use, and start then. I have ideas of what I want to do, and hopefully some tight-ass wouldn’t get offended with it (there’s a screen that people can report things they find offensive). It’s still something to keep me busy at night.

So now I have the job and therefore making money, now I have to get some power, then I can get the woman. Though I may just try to get the woman without the power, they do love the money!!!

2008-10-26T01:00:00.001-04:00

Eh, it’s late at night, I had a couple drinks, and I felt like writing again. Overall was a good night. I went to Gamestop today and they had LittleBigPlanet in already, and I got my preorder. I haven’t dove into it too much but it is a cute game. Penn State did something for the first time they haven’t done in my lifetime-beat Ohio State in Columbus. So the “what the fuck is PSU so ranked so high for???” tour rolls on undefeated. Next is Iowa. Don’t get me wrong, I love PSU and all that, but even I think they are ranked higher than they should. This is especially after seeing some of the SEC and Big 12 games the past couple weeks. Those two conferences this season are the NFL with books.

Funny thing is I was happy with the win, I still felt a little sad. Not sure why, but I’m guessing it’s mostly due to some nerves over the new job. I also think it could be due to the roller coaster couple weeks and the events that has occurred during that time. As much as I know that what happened last week was the right thing to happen, I am still a little down considering it was a bright spot that I could look to when I was a little depressed over unemployment and the feelings of being a leech and useless. But in the end it wasn’t my choice, so I won’t be the one with any regret.

Ok, enough of my shit. Now it’s time to get you all angry. Here’s some commercials I have seen over several months that make me hate Cablevision more and more. It’s for their cable/phone/internet packages, and I really wish serious harm on whoever gave the thumbs-up for this. They also seem to buy up any time that isn’t taken form the vocational schools or ambulance chaser lawyers during the day, and during any open time during the news up to primetime. Here they are, and join me in possibly starting car fires in front of MSG:
First is one with a skank, though sort of looks like a dude, doing a really shitty pop song:

Now, here’s the one that is to pander to the Latino market, but couldn’t be more racist with the drug dealer/pimp and some big assed ladies (though, that part is ok and why I watch Univision/Telemundo-their news shows are porno with headlines):

Finally, shitty puppets that reminds me of that play “avenue Q”, but without the Aids/rape songs. I guess it is another one pandering to the Latin market. Retarded kids and kids with Autism wouldn’t find this crap funny:

2008-10-25T13:35:00.000-04:00

Hello all, especially those who lurk around this and read about me. No sweat, doesn't matter to me. I spent almost $400 on new clothes and shoes for this new job. I"m not really nervous, but more excited to see what this has to offer. I can't sit here and be nervous about something I can't control and what I don't know yet. That is something I wish people would learn: don't seat it when it comes to things you don't know or you can't control. You can only do the best you can do and use what you know. I don't like people who let their worries consume their lives so much it's more of an obsession than a worry and they can't enjoy life. These people in a sick way find comfort in their worries, that they self-sabotage and just exist in a state where they use the negativity that is around them as a blanket to comfort them. these people make me sick as much as I would like to feel sad for them, I don't. If there's a problem in one's life, then change it. How hard is that to understand? I think people are jealous on my ability to handle all the problems I have as best as I can, and not really worry too much about the unknowns. When I do that , then I have time to enjoy life and help others with their problems

Also, I wish people would put some stock into what I say to them. I am sick and tired of people who think I don't know shit about shit. Many people just assume that I don't know what they are going through, and I should just piss off. I knew someone who was losing a father, and this is after I lost mine months before, so naturally I didn't know what I was talking about when I was trying to make them feel better. I knew someone that was going through some tough times and wanted to change things for the better. I tried to give them advice from my experience being in the same situation, but all my advice was blown off and all I heard was that I didn't know what I was talking about. Needless to say that these people are not in my life anymore and like the rest of the negative garbage that was once in my life, they are in the past and I am off to move on to better positive things in my life.

Now, I am thinking of hanging around the Apple Store cruising for chicks at some point. I mean, a woman that wants a quality computer or product like an Apple would surely want a quality man like myself. Also Mac chicks are hot. It also shows they like simplicity, but depth-something that I am. But then again I can be quite an ass to a lot of people. they seem to tire of me and/or get intimidated by me, and move on. But as I said, all i do is the best I can do with what I got, and I do only things that I know.

One thing I am sick of hearing about "Wall St." and "Main St," in the news. Fuck "Main St" and also fuck "Joe the Plumber". I am sick of "Joe the Plumber" and hope his business goes belly up.

Finally, how come every candidate just happens to be from Scranton, Pa? they either lived there or had family there. Seriously, I've lived in the area, and the way it's perceived in the media is wrong. The media thinks there's economic plight in PA. Um, it's really built up in the state over the years, though Western PA. still has some issues and outright racism in the region, but it's not nearly as bad as it is claimed to be. Now Ohio, West Va., have issues. But since PA has so many electoral votes, they will live with being political whores and act poor for the politicians.

2008-10-23T00:46:00.002-04:00

I got a job. I was offered a position at Countrywide Insurance right before I was to go for another interview. The position I accepted was to be a no fault examiner. I’m pumped that I finally got a job. Funny part is that I had an interview for a job today, I had another temp assignment set for Friday, and another agency called me today offering me an assignment. I have to go out tomorrow to get some new slacks and shirts, and it just happens Macy’s is having a sale. I also have to get some new shoes. I’m feeling good right now.

also, here's a video why I love Dana White and why he's a hell of a guy:

2008-10-21T23:22:00.000-04:00

So I felt like putting an update up for some of you. First thing is that I got my 16 hour NYS security guard certification done tonight, and I have to send in my info for my license in later this week. I also got a surprise call from a staffing agency I sent my resume to in response to a posting they had for a maintenance position in Midtown. I got a call back from them and they seem really interested in my resume. I go in for an interview tomorrow, and form how the guy sounded on the phone, it could be a good thing and maybe I’ll get it. It’s in the salary range I want and almost the same thing I did in my last job. On top of all this I have a couple leads for security guard work, and the place I took the courses had job placement assistance. So things at least look like there’s a chance my unemployment stage may be over soon.

Naturally, things are looking good. Guess what also happened, and those who know me shouldn’t be shocked and almost expected this to happen. The one thing that kept me smiling and going, and honestly kept me from going batshit crazy, is gone. I can’t say that I am not disappointed, I am. But I am also sort of glad it is gone and not around due the fact that the end was inevitable, and better now than down the road where it could have gotten messy. Given what it looked like it was going to end up being and what I had to do to keep things going, I am glad to have at least the month of positives, but the overall negatives surrounding it could have been a disaster. But whatever, the choice was made, and I have to leave it in the past and move forward.

I keep telling you that life is full of yin and yangs-good and bad things-to balance life. This is just another example of it.

2008-10-20T21:03:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to add some of stuff I haven’t gotten around to. First is a link to an awesome videogame site called whattheyplay.com. John Davidson, a former editor for the magazine Electronic Gaming Monthly, runs it. It’s a cool site for both parents and non-parents. I like it because the people who run it aren’t the self-righteous jerkoffs who think videogames are only for children and anything made for someone older than five is evil and is the basis of the decay of society. The guy said yeah he’s a parent, but he likes games made for adults and he respects the hell out of anyone who wants to play games, regardless of their age and what content they want to play. Check out the site, and also his old bosses and I believe who also help run his site, 1up.com. The Podcasts rule on their site. While I am pimping gaming sites, here also check out gamasutra.com, Shacknews.com, and kotaku.com for some good news on videogames.

Side note, fuck you Sony. Because of two fucking lines in the title song you delay “Little Big Planet”. Apparently the lines are form the Koran, and they pissed themselves that it might offend people. So they recall the discs despite the developers already had a patch to fix it and had a new disc image ready to go. It’s good to see that small groups with a letterhead have more power than the massive public who are paying for the game and. Bunch of fucking pussies, makes me sick.

Since I am in a mood, here’s a commercial for a new Samsung phone that spoofs Romantic movies. I don’t know why I got angry at this commercial, but I did think I would see this movie…if it turned out like the typical Lifetime Movie-where the phone at first is fantastic, but in a second it turns into a movie where the phone brutally beats and/or rapes the dumb, naïve chick. Then the movie just turns from a romantic film into a comedy!!!

Second is a commercial I like, it’s a new Apple commercial where they kill Microsoft and their dumb commercial with Seinfeld. Good, fuck you Microsoft. You deserve the smashing for the commercial and their shitty OS.

Finally, here’s the goal of the year in MLS. Danny Cepero, the rookie GK for the Red Bulls got his first start because the regular GK fucked up and took some supplements that made him fail a drug test and got suspended for the rest of this season and part of next year. This is the first goal a GK has scored in the history of MLS.

I hope you like the “Angry Pete” post; some may have missed it. And after some of the things that have been going on, it felt good

2008-10-15T21:54:00.001-04:00

I was going to sit here and write another one of my “I’m going batshit crazy” entries about my current situation, but I won’t really. Last night I was talking to someone I have grown to care about. Listening to this person and the situation this person is in, I was sad and frustrated. Sad in that this person has gone through a lot in their life, and it seemed as if today they can’t get really ahead in life. I was also frustrated, in that this person has given me a lot of smiles and happiness this past month or so, and I wish I could help out and rectify the situation this person is in. All I have been able to do so far is take this person out and listen to the problems they have been going through, but I wish I could do more. When I got home, I started thinking about myself and where I am, and I really got depressed. I haven’t been able to get work and lately I’ve felt like a failure and a parasite, where I should not be living off of others.

I would like to mention that there are some positives in my life lately. I completed the NY State Security Guard license 8-hour course, and Thursday I go start the 16-hour course. After I complete the 16-hour course, I can look for work in the Security industry. So far I am excited in this aspect, but a little nervous in that I hope I am not wasting my money and time, like how I feel sometimes about my college degree. I guess we will see in the future, huh? I got a call about a resume I put in recently at an insurance company in Manhattan. Ironically the place is in Wall Street. It’s not a temp agency but a full job. I plan on going into this interview differently, in that I look at interviews with companies that aren’t temp agencies as that they want to hire me, and the interview is just the chance to confirm that they want to, so there’s no real pressure on me. I just have to reflect what is on my resume, and I’m in.

2008-10-13T12:55:00.001-04:00

Hello peeps; I thought I would throw up another entry here. Friday I went to a birthday party in Downtown Manhattan. It was held at a small bar called Keybar on 13th street. It was a pretty good spot to hang out, though with the whiny bitches from NYU around it sometimes kills the atmosphere. The get-together was fun, saw some old friends, and had some good drinks. I didn’t stay there for long due to my trip Saturday, but there was one highlight though. I was in line for the bathrooms, which both at this bar are unisex, and it seemed to take a while for them to open up. One opens up and this pretty girl comes out. The girl is in a white tank top and a short skirt and looks really nice. She kills the sexiness for me when she goes to the guy in front of me and says that “someone” took a dump in the bathroom. Her skirt was open a little in the back, so put 2 and 2 together. I know when a chick says that it can be a turn on for some men, but I don’t find it that hot. Sorry, I know girls do that, but I don’t need it to be confirmed in front of me. I will say that the post-bar pizza and garlic knots were out of this world. The pizza joint around the corner was fantastic.

Saturday was the big trip to DC for the World Cup Qualifier between the US and Cuba. I would like to first say thanks to the North Jersey Brigade for organizing the trip showing me there is maybe one or two good things in the state of Jersey, and Chef Leon for doing an amazing job with the food. The US ran through Cuba, but that shouldn’t have been a surprise. The trip down was really annoying. The people on this bus trip happened to be the more obnoxious drunks in the ESC, and for some reason they all were around me. I couldn’t hear anything, since some jackasses were screaming about the Rangers, and some were just screaming just nothing. It was 5 hours of hell, stuck in a bus. One moron passed out on the toilet in the bathroom. He was out for a half hour locked in the bathroom. It was really annoying. At the stadium was a tailgate with the awesome ESC chef making food, and the pre-game tailgate was enjoyable. The game itself was cool, though it still pisses me off that people come on this trip, say they are part of the group, and NOT sing!!! For fuck’s sake, you are there to support the team, then sing for them!!! These are the same jerkoffs that stand around section 101 like a bunch of slack-jawed yokels who are there for the ticket discount. It pisses me off to no end.

After the game we all get on the bus to head home. Now I hoped the drunken assholes I was stuck around passed out. I was glad since if they continued to be stupid, someone would have been choked to death. A nice surprise was the ESC chef made cold cut sandwiches for the ride home. Eventually I got home, passed out for a couple hours, and got up early Sunday to drive my cousin to the airport for his trip. After this bus trip, I am debating if I will ever go on a bus trip again. It seems the newer generation members of this group are trying to get that hooligan mentality and rowdy attitude going in the group, and that just spells nothing but trouble. I am not going to go anywhere that has me associated with this garbage, because I will not babysit or look after them. Thing is that if one of these idiots does get in trouble, it affect everyone, and that is something I don’t think the ESC needs. There should be someone allowed on these trips to have a baseball bat and smash some drunken shitheads skull in when they get out of hand.

To end this, I found this quote on the Internet and I thought I would like to share:
“Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.”

2008-10-06T23:13:00.001-04:00

I have a new love in my life. Actually it’s an old love, but after years of separation and moving on to other loves, I found myself back to the love that I am accustomed to. This love is like the old times, but now it’s even more intense and satisfying. What has caused me to feel this good? The Sony Playstation is back in my life and I am never happier. What? You thought I was talking about an ex? Apparently you haven’t really read this blog, none of those pieces of garbage will ever get the time of day from me, let alone another chance.

I actually have the Playstation 3 in my house now. It’s replacing the Nintendo Wii that I traded in with all the games and accessories I had for it. I traded it all in at GameStop, and after a little money I had to put out to make up the difference, I walked out with my PS3 and a copy of “Metal Gear Solid 4.” I set it up, and got it all running and I am amazed. I played MGS4 for a little bit, and it is fantastic. The graphics blow away my Xbox, the sound is amazing in the surround sound, and the controls are good. It’s not just an action game, but also a puzzle in that you are not really supposed to kill people but sneak past them to do your mission. It is a challenge, but a good one.

I also dove into the Playstation store, where you can get games, movies, shows, demos, and other stuff online. Not just some small games, but some full games that you can get in stores, but at a discount. I bought a game off of the service, called “Pixel junk Eden.” I can’t describe it really, but it’s a puzzle game in a way, but with some trippy music. Look the game up and you’ll see what I mean. The music is cool though it pisses off the people in the house with the thumping of the bass, but fuck them, I enjoy it! I still have to look more into the service, but it’s much better than Microsoft and even Apple’s video service.

One of the other reasons I got the PS3 was the Blu-Ray player capability. Much like the PS2 I got years ago, I got a WrestleMania DVD to christen the system. This time I got the most recent WrestleMania event in Blu-ray. Watching wrestling in HD is really amazing, and the sound was like I was in the stadium at the event. I can’t wait to get some movies on Blu-Ray, and regular DVDS look good on it as well. After my experience with my PS3, I am debating if I am going to trade in my Xbox stuff in and take the credit from it and get some more games. I can get the same games on the PS3, and most of them are a little better. The Xbox was a nice fling, but I think I am back to my old dependable love.

Job wise, I got an interview Tuesday at another temp agency. I got a call from one of the other agencies I am registered with and was offered an assignment for the last week of the month. I said I’d do it, but I am also planning on going back and getting my security guard certification again. I have nothing to lose and its something good to have on the resume. I’m looking for the place I went to last time, but I found a place in Brooklyn that I have plan on calling to see what’s up.

That’s it for now. I just wanted to put something up since I haven’t put anything up lately.