Yesterday was the finals of MLS Cup. I spent the good part of the day in Jersey going to a friend’s place to see the game. To be honest, if I had not taken this job I have now and was still unemployed I would have been out at the game. I knew that the team was going to lose-the Crew had too much talent on their team to not lose. Still for a part of the day, I couldn’t stop thinking, “Holy shit, I may see this team win.” Seeing this team win to me is much different than seeing any team I follow win. See RBNY is a team I saw “born.” I have followed this team since it was first announce as a franchise in MLS back in 1995 (they were known then as “Empire FC”-I wish they kept that name). I wrote about my first ever Metrostars game in 1996 (look it up in this blog, not going to find it for you). I remember the first time I was at most of the games in 2000 after college and then a season ticket holder for this team in 2001 and for several years after. I remember going to Rutgers several times in 2003 to watch them play in US Open Cup games and then the final that they lost in Giants Stadium to the Fire. I also remember all the bus trips to DC and Foxboro all these years, and the infamous van trip to DC where I saw a DC fan get knocked out with the ESC drum. All that I saw and endured with this team, both good and bad could have possibly made to look like nothing in a span of 90 minutes and one victory on Sunday.

For a span of 25 minutes it looked like I was going to see something amazing. But that’s only 25 minutes, not 90 and in the end the team lost 3-1. I will say the time I had at the house I was at did soften the loss, but no matter how ready and accepting I was that the loss was inevitable even before the start of the game, it did hurt. I usually don’t have hope for a lot of things-I rather stay with the reality of what’s going on and go from there-but for a moment I felt like a child hoping to get that big present that I hoped to get for so many years.

After a little time of hanging out, I drove home. Driving to and from my friend’s place meant I had to drive past the Garden State Parkway on 80. This is a significant spot for me and usually I try to avoid this spot. I avoid it because of the time I drove someone home one night from a drive-in just over the Jersey-NY border. The drive up and back from this drive-in, and dropping this person off make me feel at the time something very rare and possibly the first time with someone else: the feeling of that a person was with me and liked/cared about me without any obligation or ulterior motive. It was a magical night that I can never forget no matter how much damage and pain has happened since between this person and me. You would think that driving past this would be something that would make me smile if this was a good memory, but given the events that has transpired since then and also the loss of the game today, I had the feeling of “so close, yet so far” in both the victory for the team today and a personal success with me and this person that, unlike the team that can wait till next year, I know would never happen with me and her since things are pretty much irreparably damaged on both sides. So as I driving through this small part of Jersey, I looked down at the speedometer and I didn’t’ know a Kia Sportage could hit 100, but I got one to!! Outside of that small moment (which was about 5 mins of an hour trip that realistically I shouldn’t have given so much of a shit over), the trip home was uneventful.

(If you don’t know what the hell I was talking about in that last paragraph, go read some of the past entries from about a year ago)

A couple of non-related matters to close this entry. Everyone seems to mention I should have a facebook page. I barely care about my Myspace page; I doubt I would put much effort into that page. Also, what does Facebook have to offer me that would make it worth my time? Also, get jimmy Norton’s book “I Hate Your Guts”, a fine literary work where he talks about the things and people he hates. It’s funny and fun to read if you want to feel better about yourself.