Trouble in the Terraces of my mind

hey...me writing here is a hell of a lot cheaper than therapy...

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Smiling

I was thinking about smiling today, don't ask me why but I was. I don't smile a lot in pictures, but I'm known to smile a lot...especailly if i'm lying (not that I do that a whole lot, but it is a dead giveaway according to some people that know me). I looked at some old pictures of me today going through some old files in my computer. I honestly think I look stupid when I smile, hence why I usually don't smile in pictures. One night, I was asked about this by someone, and I said I just think I look stupid when I do in pictures. Well, they didn't believe me when I said this, and asked to see some pictures of me smiling. I eventually found a couple and sent them (though one I know for a fact I was out of my mind, 5 hours on a bus filled with alcohol and various recreational drugs and certifiable psychos would make any man smile). So I send them, and all I heard was how nice I looked and how cute I looked smiled. I still dont' see it, but then again, I am my own worst critic. Maybe I should smile more, maybe it'll make people around me feel better.

I'm still a little down about the job thing yesterday. I really shouldn't be but I am. I'm more worried if I can get this interview at the ambulatory place that emailed me Thurs. I was supposed to call them Friday, but couldn't since I was occupied. I sent them an email Thursday night explaininng what was going on and that I would like to be interviewed. I haven't heard back from them, but I'm going to call them on Monday to see what's going on.

now if you excuse me, there's alcohol in my refrigerator that I must attend to.....

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