my weekend sucked...

Well I started my temp job last week, and it’s boring.  All I do is stock and restock pantries on three floors of 50 Rockefeller (where Bank of America is).  It’s not that exciting, and I close the pantries at night, which means I clean all the coffee machines and make sure the pantry is ready for the morning guy to open.  Fridays are going to be a real bitch, since on top of my duties closing the pantries, I also have to empty out the refrigerators of all the old food the morons that work on the floor forget to take out (even though it is posted and they were emailed that they have to keep their crap in the fridge in order and make sure it’s gone by Friday afternoon), and I also have to get rid of the milk in the fridges that are near their expiration date.  The thing is that some pantries use no milk, and I have to get rid of 15 quarts that are in the fridge, and that takes a lot of time to do.  I also have to clean the coffee machine a certain way because they aren’t used on weekends. It’s not a big deal; it just adds more time to my closing process.  

I cant’ say I’m unhappy with the job, but I can’t say I’m really thrilled with it.  If it didn’t pay as well as it did, I would look elsewhere (which I am still doing).  I’m looking into city/state jobs, and anything else that I think I can do.  By the Way, my resume is linked on this page on the right.  Take a look and if you think there’s a position you know of that I may fit, let me know!!! I got to get something better than I have now.  It’s cool I have work now, but I’d rather have a full-time job, not a temp job.  

This weekend was hell for me.  I spent the entire weekend trying to figure out all the things that are going on in my head.  You see, I haven’t had anytime since my father’s passing since I had to be the “strong” person (as I always find myself), and with everything that had gone on I was so busy dealing with all that, I had no time to deal with all the things with my father’s passing and all the ramifications from that.  On top of all that this job came along, and as usual in my pessimistic attitude, I am worried about how I am going to screw it up.  All this and some other things all came to a head this weekend, and I was miserable.  I was just going out of my mind.  The past couple days haven’t’ been as bad, since I took the time to figure out what I was going to do.  I feel much better now and more focused now on what I have to do now.  

I can’t tell you exactly how all this came about Saturday, because I have no idea how it happened!!!  I woke up, did some things Saturday morning, and as I was watching TV, it just hit me.  The rest of the day I was in such a miserable, sad mood it was almost unbearable. I was in a place where I hope not to go to again, but I probably will.  For some reason, I was thinking that I had to do everything I was supposed to do since I got out of college done now.  I felt like I had to get some form of a career going, and get out of the house and not be supported by others now.  It’s hard to put into words, and I felt like I had to do it right away, and the fact I haven’t yet made me really feel like I have this intense pressure on me shoulders.  Eventually it all got to a crescendo, it got a little ugly (not “trash my room/house ugly”, but I felt like doing it), and then it eventually went away and I eventually want to sleep. I woke up Sunday feeling like a million bucks, and have felt just as good since, other than a little nervous about Tuesday hoping I did everything right at work.  

Oh well, that’s all I have to write about tonight.  Remember, if you know any jobs I could fit in after reading my resume, let me know!!