Trouble in the Terraces of my mind

hey...me writing here is a hell of a lot cheaper than therapy...

Sunday, December 31, 2006

I hate new years. I have no idea why this is such a big deal. Sure it's nice to get the day off and soe of the sles kick ass in the stores, but I see no real point to it. It's just a drinking holiday, and I can drink anytime I want. Am I bitter that I will be alone on new yeas? No!! It would have been nice to have a chick to hang out with but it didn't work out that way. I plan on drinking so much that I pass out before midnight so I don't have to watch/hear all the bullshit celebrations. I do have a resolution though. I plan on talking to/asking more women out. I am just no getting “groove” back, an I”m starting to get comfortable again with myself. I am also realizing that ho I feel about things shouldn't be compromised just so I can try to impress women (or other people). So there's a chance by the end of 2007 I won't be single pissed at new years, I may have someone else to be pissed with it as well.

Tomorrow I'm going to be looking for a leather jacket. I wanted one for a while now, and since I got a nice gift from the people I work for in my building, I can afford one. Thing is I want to get a new hat to go with it. I am not sure what type to get (not a baseball cap), have to see what hat “talks” to me and makes me look cool (not that I need help with that, but a hat can enhance and help with that)

On the bright side, I was officially offered a full time job at BofA. I had to fill out all the paperwork for the background search. I hate doing that, even though it's a nothing thing. I just hate that I have to remember details about my last 10 years. I got it all down for the most part, and whatever is missing isn't needed since I put names sand numbers down for the address of a past employer that I don't have, so it's all good. If all goes right, Ill be officially full time the day after MLK day-about one year since I started the temp assignment, how fitting.

I was talking to my co-worker the other day and she mentioned how she thinks people percieve me as a grumpy ass at work. I guess this us because I am not a”pleasant” or “chipper” person when I am doing my job. I am sure some must think I'm an asshole, but in reality it isn't anything I care about. I go to my job and I do it, nothing more or less. I am not there to be a greeter or an “office friend”, nor am I there to make friends. It's not that I am against making friends, it's just friendship isn't the top priority at my job, plus I barely have a chance to talk to people anyway. Plus, as much as this sounds odd since I don't' have a large social circle as it is, I am at a point in my life where I don't want more friends. Maybe this is why most women I date don't end up as friends. Or when I meet people in general, i don't' look at them more than what or where I met then (like person A is “the guy I met at work”, or Person B is “That guy that hang out at the hobby shop”). Is this the best way to live, not really, but it's how I am. Would my life suck if I made one or two more friends, no and I probably could use more. People who want to be more in my life ho aren't family have to “prove” themselves to me that the are worth my time. I have no time in my life to deal with stress and drama (more than any minor crap) that the wrong people bring to the table. If you are cool and “get” me and don't cause and issues with me, then cool. This is probably why most people (especially women), lately aren't around for a long time.

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