I made a choice today that I hope helps clear out my head and just settle me about some stuff. First before I say what I chose to do, let me explain why I chose to do something rather than decide to do what I did. In my mind, a choice is something one does of their own free will, and a decision is something one is forced to make. I do what I want in my life, I don't have to do a damn thing. I make choices, and I rarely make decisions. If I am forced into making a decision by someone or something, I will make it a point to make sure as much as the decision negatively affects me, it hurts the ones forcing me to make the decision at least just as much. So if you are thinking of making me decide on something I don't want to, just know it won't end pretty.

With that out of the way, I have chosen to take myself “out of the market,” or whatever the hell he saying is, not actively look for a chick, and just sit back for a while. Why am I doing this you may be asking (that's if you are still reading and care)? Well it seems the “potential buyers” (let's keep the gimmick going) turn out to be a bunch of bullshit artists and never back up all the talk. I always grew up doing what I said, and if some chick can't do that for me, I have no business dealing with her at all. Whatever I said to someone, I meant and I did, no one can deny that. But All I hear from most women is just the “right things”, but when they get called out and told it's time to collect on all the talk, they backtrack and try to get themselves out of the lies they said. Then they get all upset when I go “bye” and leave.

People say that is one of my issues with chicks-that I don't give them a real chance when they screw up. Well, why is it ok for them to mess up, yet we men have been held to some stupid standard that if we slip up the chick can just drop us? I figure if chicks want to be treated equal in this world, then they should be called out about all their talk as much as us guys are. I always thought equality is something that is important as much as communication and honesty when it comes to relationships, and if chicks are still going to hold men to a certain standard, they should be prepared for themselves to be held to just as high of a standard. If I am putting all I can into something, I demand that she at least put just as much in, other than all I am doing is wasting my energy and time. My new thing is that after talking to a chick and eventually letting her know my intentions and how I am feeling about her, it's her turn to prove to me that she feels the same way and prove that she is worth my time. So far no one has, though some have come close and one was even given a second chance, but in the end they all either failed at it or quit all together.

So I'm tired of it! I am tired of the bullshit. So I am going to take a break from actively searching for a while and just relax. Maybe someone comes into my life during this time, who knows. But after a little time, maybe chicks will get it and start acting right....but we all know that won't happen. So ladies (if there are any that reads this): the lesson of the day is simple-you have to prove your worth to me as I do to you, and if I don't feel like I am getting at least as much as I am putting in, then bye nice knowing ya.