I first wanted to show you something. This was shot with my Flip camera that I bought recently. It’s a small video camera that hooks into your computer with a USB connector that is attached to the camera. The software to edit it is on the camera and can be installed onto the computer, but you can use your own editing software as well (like Imovie). The video quality is at the “web” level that Imovie exports video at (it can export at different levels of quality, I chose “web” so it’s a smaller file but still looks good). It’s just random videos I shot put together over the past couple weeks-some stuff by my job, my dog, and the gravesite of my dad and aunt that I took this past Saturday. Friday was the anniversary-it’s been 3 years since my dad died, hence why I went up with my mom and sister. There’s no sound since I screwed up importing the video, but there wasn’t anything important in the audio.

here's my video

Speaking of computer stuff, I am thinking of getting a new Imac, and giving my sister my laptop. I thought about it and I really don’t need a laptop since any “portable” computing could be done on my phone. So I figure I will save up some money and in the next few months pick up an Imac. My sister wants a computer; so I figure I’ll giver her mine, and she has to just get a new battery for it (I think the one on it is going now). She said she would like it, but I’ll see.

I was doing my laundry this afternoon, and as I was cleaning my work clothes I had a thought hit me. I really miss my old job at BofA. It was not a glamorous job, but it was a job I felt happy in for the most part. I had unique hours, but those hours to me were great. I had a job that kept me busy throughout the day and I was left alone for the most part to do my job. I rarely had any problems at work, and I was just in a good place with it. I did my job, and my bosses never told me they had any problems with my work. I had a good professional relationship with my bosses, and they always were good to me.

Despite all this and all the good work I put in, especially all the extra work I did, I was still let go. This to me proved that no matter how much work you do and how well you do at your job, your employment is dependent upon how much you are wanted there. If your job wants you there, they will find a way to keep you there. If they don’t want you there, you will be let go and told some reason why. This isn’t just with jobs but with everything in life. If you are wanted in someone’s life, and if you want someone or something in your life, things will be done to make it possible. Having this revelation today made me feel better and less stressed about life. I also am going to not take a lot of things personal, professionally or personally.

Looking at my current job, I can see where I could work harder and stay later, but given what happened in my past jobs why should I? I am paid to work from 9a-5p, and in reality I don’t get any OT-at least not that I know of. This company has my between those hours, and I will do all that I can and what I am asked of between those hours. After those hours that I agreed to work, I am done with the job for the day. If I am asked to work a little more hours, I would consider it, but only if I am getting something out of it. I am done feeling any loyalty or team spirit with an employer when I know that I can be dropped from the company at anytime. This is also made me understand most sports players and why they move from team to team. I think that if you have that attitude going into a job, it makes it easier to cope with. Despite the state of the economy, one can still feel this way, and one will either lose their job-but at some point find one that fits them best, or do well at their job.

This is also why sometimes I feel college was sometimes a waste for me. I went into college thinking, “I need this to get a job”, but in reality it does help, but it is also overrated. How many people do you know that don’t have college degrees still were able to find their spot in this world? Even if someone went straight from High School to a vocational school, you can do well in this world. Sometimes I do wish I did this rather than have gone to college. It would have saved me a lot of money and possibly have landed me into a good career. Hell, I went and got certified to become a security guard and I theoretically have a job in that field and get paid as much, if not more, than what I get now.

I was also thinking that maybe I was pleased with the BofA job because simply it wasn’t an “office job.” As nice and safe a 9 to 5 office job is it’s still a job where I am in a cubicle all day. Many I am sure can understand what I am feeling. At my old job I was walking around, I had a level of freedom, and I was “working” where I can see the results of what I have done. Currently I am sitting in front of a computer typing in all this information and not “seeing” what the results are. Down the road I will see what the results are, but I just feel like I am not “doing” anything. The jobs my parent’s had weren’t “white collar”-my dad was a bus driver, my mom was a teacher-so maybe my idea of what a “job” is comes from seeing what they did. To me, they really earned their money and really worked. An office job to me, as cool and needed as it is, just seems like it’s not a job where you are working to produce something tangible. I guess that’s just me.