change is easy...keeping things changed is the hard part!

Yes people I am in the process of updating my resume.  Thanks Mike for pointing that out it’s out of date a bit and could use some revising.  

Hi Ryan, whoever the hell you are.  Keep responding, I need a laugh or two

US Hockey is pathetic.  I wish they had the attitude of US soccer, where the coach is only as good as the last world cup, and their job is only safe if they make the tournament and do somewhat well in it.  US soccer also likes to go out and get some young players who show some potential into the players pool to try to get them ready to carry the team.  US Hockey seems to have this attitude that because the NHL is in the US, the players in the league are automatically 3 steps better than everyone else.  This hasn’t been true ever; just look at the roster for the Rangers, not many US players on it!!!  Also US Hockey has the problem of relying on old players, but there’s no young US players coming up that can really replace the aging vets.  

It’s a catch 22 for the US, but if I was in charge of the US team, I’d get as many young players involved and playing in mini camps as much as I can (assuming the NHL owners would allow it, but I would take US players from the minor leagues and college as well-where ever there is talent and potential).  This would at least start to get a core group of players to build around.  I would also next Olympics have a team comprised of players no older than 27 (maybe three or four older players) and work with them.  I would give players in the US player pool 2 Olympics/World Cups to show if they can play in international play, and if they are exceptional I would keep them for maybe a third round of the Olympics/World Cups (this is assuming NHL players are going to play in the Olympics after 2010).  That’s how I would try to fix US Hockey.  

On another note it was great to see Olympic/international hockey.  I could watch that all the time.  It was cool to see a bunch of Rangers get medals for their nations, just sucked Lindquist had to be the goalie against the US for Sweden and beat them.  

What’s going on with me?  Not much, just working and trying to change some things in my life.  I’m exercising more (every other day or night) trying to get myself in better shape; round isn’t working for me anymore!!!  I’m also trying to mentally change my outlook on things. I’m the worst pessimist and paranoid person, but I want to change that since it hasn’t really done well for me.  If anyone has tried changing something in life, I hope I’m not the only one who has felt like I’m going through withdrawal.  Since I started changing how I think about life and exercising, I feel like I’m lacking something and I’ve been irritable because of it.  I’ve also been fighting my mind into not going back to my old ways (like how junkies have to, but I’m not trying to compare myself to junkies), and continuing trying to think positive.  I’ve also been trying to not care or worry about a lot of the little things in life.  I’m trying to look at things in a “big picture” type of mindset.  Doing so the past few weeks has pointed out a lot of things about my life that I wish I found out sooner.

First, I try too hard.  I have this thing about being “too much” to people (which I realize that has ruined a lot of relationships).  I always had this attitude and mindset that I had to show someone a lot of attention, and that it will be appreciated and reciprocated.  Now I realize that it’s the WRONG way to go things.  This is going to be the hardest habit or whatever to break, since I always had the need to help and make things better for people.  

Also, I worry too much.  This always was something about me even my parents hated about me.  I always was too hard on myself, and I would really get upset over the littlest of things.  A lot of the things of the things I would get worried about or upset at are things I now see are stupid.  

I also put a lot of the blame of things going wrong on me, which is another hard habit that’s going to break.  I always had the attitude that if I am a part of something, I am fully responsible for it and whatever comes from it, even if I had no participation in the failure of that thing.  This is something I really want to change, since the extra and unneeded stress is something that could become a health concern for me, and this is something that affected my dad when he was younger.  Seeing how his health was the last several years of his life, I think I should start not to try to get myself in a better frame of health, both physically and mentally.

Oh well, that’s all I have on my mind right now. Thanks for stopping by I guess.

just somethings on my mind

I’m just going to hit in a bunch of things here in no order:

-Selling ports to Middle Eastern Savages-WHY??? Why approve it?  Is bush REALLY going to just open up our ports to terrorists and savages, even though he has such a hardon to get rid of terror?  This is a colossal incident waiting to happen.  I hope the real people who run the docks (The Italian businessmen who run the Unions) step up and block this.

-US hockey is really shaky at this point.  They are old and it’s time to scrap the current players and start over.  They really haven’t’ shown me anything.  Other than that the entire Olympic hockey tournament is great to watch.  As far as I’m concerned, this is the real “World Cup” for hockey, not the one the NHL puts on. Also, NHL players most likely won’t play in the Olympics after the Vancouver games, since the owners are pissed that they could have their players injured.  My solution for this (and any sport where club players play on national teams-baseball this year and soccer); put a clause in all contracts that if they get hurt playing for their country, the club team has no obligation to pay them during their injury.  The player is willingly choosing to play, and this isn’t with their contractual obligated team, so I see no problem with this idea.

-Anyone see the Daytona 500?   I did in Hi def and it was AWESOME!!!  I also saw that Nascar was holding back Tony Stewart because God forbid he sacked up and pushed back after being pushed by another driver on the track.  NASCAR screws Stewart twice, and he STILL ended up in fifth!!!  Shows you how good he is, and if he wasn’t held back, he probably would have lapped the entire field.

-I STILL LOVE MY XM!!!  I record a channel every night so I have something to listen to on the train.  I usually stick with the rock/alternative channels, and I always get at least a couple good songs I enjoy listening to, and also a few older songs that I always enjoy listening to.  Regular radio could NEVER do that, especially now since there isn’t a rock station in the area.  If you don’t have XM you re missing out on a LOT!!!

-I can’t wait for the warmer weather, I’m going nuts here wanting to run my R/C car!!! I hope for some warm weather soon, it hurts me seeing my truck on my desk collecting dust (I hope to have some pics of it soon, once I figure out the Digital camera).

And I’m done, hope this was as good for you as it was for me

Dr. Phil Test-oddly accurate for me, maybe it will be for you

I got this in my myspace bulletin account, I tried it and it was accurate about me (I got a 38). I usually don’t put stuff like this here, but I thought it was a cool thing and I hope some of you try it. If this was a shorter, less involved test, I’d use it to try to pick up some chicks.

Dr. Phil's Test: Here you go. Try this!Below is Dr Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah - she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out!Read on, this is very interesting!Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself and send it to your friends.
Answers are for who you are now...... not who you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today.It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 Simple questions, so...grab a pencil and paper,keeping track of your letter answers to each question. Ready??Begin...
1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon ? early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you..
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, ! touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with..
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckled) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted......
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are..
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
a) fallingb) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant
POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more likeyou, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold andadventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your companybecause of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someonewho's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would! really surprise them if you ever did somethingimpulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People thin k you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved withanyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

Pass it along, it’s an amazing thing and the description is really accurate for me.

I rant, you read, we both did something, yay!

Tonight I’m going to talk about something that has been really bothering me for a while now, and just seeing a commercial for it really set me off.  I’m going to be talking about the horrible movie “remake” of the “Pink Panther”.  For some reason, Steve Martin had the balls to take one of comedies’ most cherished and revered characters, and try to make it a pussified, PG-13 version that all the mindless dullards that like him now will spend money to see.  Anyone who sees this piece of shit is in essence pissing on Peter Seller’s grave.  I can’t believe someone thought that it would be a good idea to not only remake it, but also rewrite it to make it even worse.  First, THEY TOOK OUT CATO!!!! I’m sorry, but you do not take out a character that was IMPORTANT to many of comedies’ best physical bits in film.  What did they do since they took out Cato? They rewrite the character to make it a French character (played by Jean Reno, who is MUCH better as a sociopath, not a comedic character from what I saw).  Then they HAVE to put in a sassy, female minority in the movie to make it more acceptable (and further drive the speeding carwreck of a movie faster into the wall).  To tell you how bad this movie is, it was made over a year ago and sat on the shelf, since NO one had any confidence in the film.  But alas there are enough retards out there to pay $27 million to these thieves who made the film the first week it was released.

My other little rant is about the persecution of Club Soda Kenny, who in real life is a 22-year veteran West Orange, NJ. Police sergeant John Feder.  He goes on stage as this character (along with Opie and Anthony and helps security at their live events) and says some nasty jokes, but in real life he’s a family man who is as straight law abiding and any cop can possibly be.  But someone chose to take a copy of his performance and send it to his superiors.  Now Kenny is looking at losing his pension and job.  ALL FOR SOMETHING HE DOES FOR A HOBBY.  For Christ ‘s sake, the guy needs a way to blow off steam form this horrible job, and in the environment of a comedy club, IT IS ACEPTED WHAT HE SAYS AND DOES.  The big thing is “he’s a cop, they shouldn’t be allowed to do anything that makes them not look like a cop in their off time.” and people are bitching that what he did say was so offensive and he doesn’t’ count under the first amendment because as a cop, he had a higher standard to follow.  Have you ever hung out with anyone in a high stress job where death and pain is often involved?  They have some of the most sickest, brutal since of humor.  But guess what, THEY WORK IN A BRUTAL ENVIROMENT.  And God forbid Kenny wanted to go on stage and say some bad jokes to relieve stress and maybe make a person laugh or two….WHY IS HE NOT ALLOWED TO HIS FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!  

I’m tired of my ranting and incoherent stuff here.  I gotta rest now.

just wrote something because I was bored

The other night I was watching a documentary on skinheads in America.  The reason I was watching it was because shows like these fascinate me.  Not in the way that I want to join them (and I can’t, my half Italian half Puerto Rican cousin and his Filipino wife would kick my ass, not to mention my other cousin’s black husband would probably join in), but in the way that in this country and even the planet, there are pockets of these people out there with these beliefs.  It’s an amazing thing that these people recruit followers, even with the advent on the internet and other forms of communications out there, but then again these things also helped with the proliferation of attention and power these groups have.  I really don’t’ have a lot more to say interesting on the subject, but if you happen to catch one of these documentaries, please see it and be amazed what’s out there in the backwards-ass sections of this countries

I really have not much to write about tonight.  I went to work, did my thing and came home.  That’s all I got right now.  I really struggle with what to write about here.  I could always bitch and moan about stuff in my life, but that’s not really productive.  I am not much into politics, so I won’t be really doing an anti- or pro- Bush blog like the million other jizzbags do on the Internet.  I only write something here when I have something stuck in my head and over the day develop the idea into what is written here, and usually it comes form something that happened to me that day.  

OH and as I write this, I’m watching the Mexico-South Korea match on TV, and my cousin is right, the Mexicans stole the Italian flag and did put that god-awful eagle on it!!  And when they salute it, they got the seig down, just don’t finish it off with the Heil.  Just a thought.

love is like crack, but I ain't sucking a man off for it

Today on “Ron and Fez”, Mike the Teacher was in to talk about love and where it comes from. Mike is a fantastic guest when it comes to info and I’ve always walked away with some information.  Today, Mike mentioned that the emotion of love comes from the part of the brain that is also where addictions can form.  What I mean is that studies have shown that love and addiction are almost the same thing to a brain.  I thought about this all day today and I have to agree with the theory.

I mean think about it, when you are with someone special and it’s for love, you are on a high that nothing can top.  I know this is how I feel when I am with someone special.  I am, as Mike D of the Beastie Boys said in “Mike on the Mic”, so high you can call me your highness.  It’s a fantastic feeling, but when I am not with someone special (not just broken up, just not around someone), I feel like I am in a form of withdrawal.  When things don’t’ workout, I am in the deepest of lows with out my “drug”.  I ask those who are reading this to look back into their lives and see how high the highs were and how low the lows were.  Thinking of all these things made me realize that, yes I’m too nice to women and treat them too well, but if that makes her feel this “high” even for just a date or moment, then it’s worth it to me.  Along with this, I decided that if I do find someone, I have to go out of my way to not screw it up and cause her (or me) to “crash”.  Goof on me all you want, but this theory Mike the Teacher mentioned really hit me and is a theory I will use now whenever I get into a relationship.  Now, with this info, does this make Pimps “Dealers” and dating services “Whorehouses”??

OK enough of the relationship shit I’ve been doing lately, and let’s get onto something else.  Olympic hockey starts this week, and I cant’ wait.  It has to be the most beautiful thing to watch during the Olympics.  The US team looks good, but old.  Canada looks unstoppable with their youth and skill players.  My dark horse team is the Czech team, which is mostly the Rangers.  The chemistry the Ranger players have now should translate well to the Olympic games and they could win it all.

Not too long until the soccer season starts up again.  Metro looks like they have potential this season to make some noise, but then again they always do and fall on their faces.  But then again, if there wasn’t a colossal failure by the Metros in a season, it wouldn’t’ make them the Metros, and although the failures are irritating, it’s fun as hell to watch sometimes!!!

Everything else in my life is ho-hum.  My job seems to be going quicker everyday, but after last week when I was in a building of 12-14 hours straight at a clip, a 5-hour day is nothing.  It was funny when I looked at my watch and it said it was 2:30 and after what felt like an hour, I looked again and it was 5pm.  This coming paycheck is going to look SUH WEET!!! But I’m going to do a grownup thing and put most of it into the bank, and not blow it on something shiny!!!

I’ve also been getting my tax stuff ready as well.  It’s been odd doing it since I don’t’ have my dad around to help me, and I also have to help my mom out with getting hers and my dad’s stuff together as well.  It’s not a sad thing, but just a surreal and odd feeling doing it, knowing that it’s the last time we really have to do this for him.  

I really don’t want to get into what’s going on with me and the subject of my father since that’s not something you all really want to read here (what the hell are you here for?? Just wondering since I’m not a liberal bashing Bush or a fascist…err Republican bashing anything fun..but that could be a whole other entry for me to ponder), but I can say that even though it’s been over 2 months, I still have a lot of shit to get through, both for myself and his affairs.   I do want to say here THANK YOU to those who have cared enough to ask how I’ve been doing and offered me help for stuff.  You are truly friends and I am grateful for it.

Now it’s sleepy time for me

working and love-both painful as hell

This weekend was well needed.  I worked four, 12-hour shifts this week, and a 10-hour shift the other day due to the morning guy had the flu.  It sucked and really tiring, but I will be getting a nice paycheck.  The cool part is that my supervisor thanked me and the big bosses thanked me as well, and took note of this.  I may have screwed up the ordering of some supplies, but considering it was my first time doing it and no one ever told me how to do it, I hope no one complains.  

This week is Valentines Day. My answer to that: FUCK VALENTINES DAY!!!!  I personally think it’s a stupid idea made up for abusive and neglectful guys to make one day special for their chicks.  Think about it for a second, if you are relying on one day of spending money of dinner and gifts for your chick to make her feel good, rather than making her feel good as much as you can, you are in a sad situation and probably shouldn’t be in any relationship.  I did read somewhere that women today don’t put much stock in this one-day, but still would like something that day.  What I always found more pathetic are all the sad people who get engaged or married on Valentines Day “because it makes the already romantic day even better”.  Why would you want to have something that could potentially be horrible close to a major date? That would haunt you for the rest of your life.  The smart move is to put your wedding day close to your anniversary date.  At least that will not be as painful to you.  Also it’s just one less date to remember!!!  

That’s all I can think of writing now, I’m still tired after the past week.

the single life-you really want it?

Friday was fun, 10 hours of stocking and restocking crap that the day guy ordered.  Only problem is that he ordered everything wrong!!!  So we have way too much of half of the stuff, and not enough of the other stuff for this week…Other than that I can’t complain about work. The reason I am writing this tonight is because I was thinking of a couple things.  First, the Super Bowl is tomorrow, and I’ve been getting myself ready by watching a bunch of it today.  I watched a bunch of futbol today, mostly the English Premier league, especially the Man United Fullham match, where United won 4-2.  After all that, I watched on and off some of the Super Bowl highlights on ESPN Classic.  Tonight, I watched a great football movie, “The Replacements”.  It may be a goofy film, but funny as hell!!

Another thing that I was thinking about is how “the grass in always greener on the other side of the fence”, or whatever the hell is the saying.  The only reason it’s greener on the other side is because it’s well fertilized from all the shit that comes with being on the other side!!!  The reason I’m bring it up is that I hear a lot of people who are in relationships “oh, I wish I was single.”  Or “it must be nice to be single.” I’m here to say that being single sucks!!!  Oh, sure, the freedom and the fact I can spend the money I have on myself is nice, but when you’re don’t with your day, it gets’ lonely without someone there to talk to (by that I mean non-relative or close friend).  As much as I enjoy talking to my close friends and family, I have become desensitized from their talks.  I would welcome an entirely new voice to talk to and get advice from.

Also, you relationship people bitch how your life revolved around the other person.  Well if you were like me if you were single, you bitch you have nothing to do…so be happy your time is occupied and not sitting in a house or room going nuts over boredom.  Look around your place and your car, those who have a chick (or guy, doesn’t matter to me what you got).  You wouldn’t have half that nice stuff if it wasn’t for your other half (if you’re married, I’m sure you have taken advantage of your other’s credit!!).  

And if you think being single means you have all those nice toys? Think again.  If you’re married, the word “HALF’ should just be flashing in front of your eyes whenever the idea of leaving comes up.  And for those who are just living with a chick, first off all the stuff in your place is probably hers so you’re on your ass with a couple of boxes of your clothes, and when it comes to the actual figuring out who gets what, you better have receipts to show who bought otherwise that bitchfest my lead you to having nothing.  I should show you pics of what I got and that should scare you all thinking of blowing up your relationships and trying the single life again.  And if I wasn’t single and had the stuff I had now, she could take it all!!!  Best thing to watch to get the point is Eddie Murphy’s bit on this in “Eddie Murphy: Raw” (I cry everytime I watch it-thinking of how good he was there and the pathetic sellout he has become).

Now if you are still thinking of acting like it’s the single life and want to cheat won your other half…remember, screwing around with other people is like juggling.  Sure it may be all fun and games at first, but eventually that all fall down and it’s your stupidity that does it.   Plus if you are thinking of going outside the box of the relationship you are in, whatever bad happens to you is something you deserve.

But despite all the fun being single is, I would like to not be.  I’m putting myself out there for the ladies out there  (AND ONLY LADIES- I’m cool with the gay community, but I am straight).  I am not a picky man, but I do have some preferences for myself.  So if you’re a single lady (or desperate I can accommodate) I take on all comers if you fit this criteria

-No overly fat chicks, but no skinny chicks.  Skinny chicks I hate because I feel like they are too brittle and I’d probably break them. I prefer a little chunk on a chick but not like a slob.
-She needs to put up with soccer games, my model cars hobby, and all the other things I’m into and she can’t try to get me out of all the things I enjoy.  I come as I am, and I DON’T want to be changed.  I can accommodate for some things, but that’s as far as I go.
-She has to enjoy some real unique comedy, and not be offended by a lot of things.  I cant’ stand chicks that cant’ laugh or thinks she’s better than me or my friend’s idea of what’s funny
-She has to be happy to just hang out at home on some nights as much as going out.


So now that I have eliminated just about all of the ladies out there, I will take me leave.  I hope to have my take on Valentines Day up here sometimes soon.

Groundhog Day notes on me

This job is kicking my ass.  I got called in today real early to cover for the day guy, and I only had an hour to get ready and get to the building and work for 10 hours.  Friday I have to do the same, and I have no clue if I am going to have the day guy there (my supervisor said that he wants me in there just in case the day guy can’t come in).  Fridays are the worst for me, I help re-stock all the pantries from the order that comes in, and depending on how much stuff is ordered, it can be a real time consuming ordeal.  This Friday could be a lot worse if I’m the only one doing it, especially since there’s a new pantry I have to stock and get ready for Monday!  

I also on Fridays have to clean out the refrigerators of all the old food in the afternoon.  I have had a couple debates with the day guy over this.  He wants to take all the packaged stuff (take out, Tupperware, etc.) out and put in on the side and if no one picks it up at the end of the day, throw it out.  My attitude is to throw all of it out since on the fridge it says “All food in the refrigerator will be discarded after 2pm on Fridays.”   At the end of the day, on top of cleaning the pantries I also have to get rid of all the milk that is going to expire soon.  Some floors go through milk like it’s going out of style, while others don’t.  All of this isn’t really hard work, just really time consuming and something I rather not do on a Friday night.

All is quiet on the personal life front.  This is something I have been debating this with myself and figuring out if I want this changed at the moment.  I have been weighing all the positives and negatives of being single.  I would like someone else to talk to (not that the people I talk to aren’t helpful, but it would be nice to get another person’s perspective), and I just hate not having someone there for me.  Eh, if it happens it happens.