Trouble in the Terraces of my mind

hey...me writing here is a hell of a lot cheaper than therapy...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Ok, last night I was planning on writing a whole beautiful entry here about my passions and what are the things in life that not only interest me, but makes me strive for a lot of what I want-be it knowledge of something, or just something to move me “forward.” Instead I had a big dude on top of my leg as he contorted me in different positions for about an hour and a half. Along with this there was a crowd around watching what was going on, including some of his family. After he was finished, not old did I thank him, but paid him!! if you don’t get my shitty attempt of innuendo, I did get my second tattoo Tuesday night, and it cane out great. Once again Kevin at http://www.fatcattattoos.com/ did an awesome job. Check out his site and see some of his work.

Tonight I was again wanted to do that other blog entry, as well as try to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my own website, but I was on Itunes and spend some cash on there. For the hell of it, I went into the “itunes essentials” section, and I gave in. I bought some “essentials”’ of 70’s rock, Iron Maiden, and Johnny Cash. I decided to every payday pick up some music to try to expand my horizons, as well as I can make better genius lists for my Iphone.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Today was a day that started out as beautiful, but ended in a horrible, horrible, way. Today was the big Metro-DC United game in Jersey. Along with this is the Rangers trying to close out their playoff series against the Capitals. I get to Giants Stadium and start doing the usual which involves some drinking, some socializing, and just having a good time. DC games bring out a lot more ESC members, especially the “old school” ones. Some were there playing music on their turntables, and it was a nice vibe. One thing I noticed was that there were a lot more chicks out this game. Usually there are only a couple at games, and they are usually only there because their dude’s brought them along. This time I saw quite a few roaming around in packs, besides the Red Bull sluts the team pays to flirt and peddle the team’s wares in the parking lot. Maybe it was the warm weather, maybe it was teh awesome drawing power of a swamp in North Jersey, or simply there’s nothing sexier than an soccer fan, who knows. They were there, but sadly there were a couple issues with them that relegated them to just “eye candy” to me:

t1. They were from Jersey. Sorry to break some hearts here ladies, but that is on the list of things I avoid when it comes to women now: live or have lived a significant amount of time in New Jersey. All the women I have gone out with form the state have led to some form of pain for me. Yes, those few “bad apples” have ruined the bunch for me.

2. Seeing the hardware on some of their left fingers, they were already occupied and I learned not to mess with situations like that, it always comes back to bite you in the ass.

3. Age difference and how somethings look more mature than they really are. I’ll leave it at that so I don’t have my hard drive confiscated or receive phone calls with some interesting questions’

4. Seeing some of the looks some were given me while I was just scanning the area, had I moved forward to them, not good things could have happened


The game itself was typical-potential there, but almost no follow through. The ending though shocked me despite all the times I’ve seen this team grasp defeat from the jaws of victory. In 5 minutes, the team let two goals in that should not have happened. Fist off the team played “bunker ball” to a point where they applied no pressure to try to gain possession and hold onto the ball for the rest of the game. This let DC take advantage of mishaps by RBNY and score two quick goals to win the game.

I was impressed with the loss. See, I don’t get angry anymore about this team, at least not as much. I look at games now as a chance to meet people (which I really should try to socialize more outside the soccer thing-there are some cool and interesting people I have met through the ESC and RBNY), cheer on a team, and enjoy the sport I have loved as a child. I am not sure if I ever mentioned this, but soccer was the only sport I could play as a kid. It was the only game where I could see the ball due to its size. Having Cataracts meant I couldn’t handle sunlight well, and baseballs weren’t visible to me, but a big soccer ball was (not to mention a pair of other ones I could see clearly......OH!!!). I don’t look at the Red Bulls as a sports team to see, I see it as a chance to socialize and also enjoy one of the few true loves in my life. Granted this love is more abusive-in the “socializing” where alcohol and sometimes “stuff” gets mixed in-but also in that the team crushes dreams and hopes like an abusive partner. But since I give the team and don’t get anything good from it, I think RBNY is my pimp. In the future I will write more about what my true loves in this world are, so that you all can see I am not a bitter, hate-filled, failure that some have called me.

Tuesday I go get some more ink done on my body. I decided to get what I said I would, and maybe tomorrow night or Tuesday I’ll post why I chose what I got. It wasn’t easy choosing how I wanted to look, but looking around I found what I think will look good.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Just a couple quick notes. First I am dead to Myspace. I shut the account down, so now I am on Facebook and Twitter only. Also I am slowly building my website, where the key word is SLOWLY. I’m working on it on my computer, and havent uploaded it yet. I am trying to get it right, or at least not really shitty. Here’s the deal; form what I’ve seen form Iweb, I could move my blog there, and add entries and edit them from there with no problem. So I may move this thing over there. I still have to make sure if it’s viable to do. First I have a 200 gig cap as far as data transfer goes with MobileMe. My site and blog shouldn’t reach that limit, so maybe I’ll test it out to see what can happen.

That’s it, nothing else really going on. I’ve been busy as hell with work and at home. Most of what I wanted to do this week will be moved to Saturday, shich sort of sucks but also good I can get it all done that day.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Want a way to make all the anger and bullshit you've gone through it all seem irrelevant? Hold a young baby for a minute. you'll feel good. Now to explain what I just said to not seem like a total creep. I went over my cousin’s house today to give him rabbit ear antennas. He needed them for one of those DTV converter boxes,and the video quality is actually good on one of them. As I was there hanging out-besides being scolded I didn’t get a certain beer for people when I was in Astoria yesterday-I got to see his daughter. She looks like million bucks-which all healthy babies usually do-and was actually awake. After her feeding she was given to me, and I got to hold her for a bit. It as a tad nerve-wracking, but cool to hold her. I do have to say, no matter how tough of a dude you are, a kid just brings out something nice out of people. Yeah, it’s creepy to write all this, but it is something that really was in my head. Now after I am done writing this, I’m going to continue amy game of Grand theft Auto: Chinatown Wars, where my drug business is going quite well.

Also Wednesday is my last day I will have my Myspace page. So if you still want to keep tabs on me, look me up on Facebook, or just email me if you have my email address.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Well here's my post about social media and the media in general. Before I into it, I need to say something. I bought my mom a netbook to replace the Dell she has now. I forgot how backwards Windows is especially when you first start a computer. In Acer and/r Microsoft’s usual bang-up job, as the computer was going through it’s initial startup, a file was corrupted and I had the restore the entire computer form scratch......I DIDN’T EVEN GET THE THING STARTED!!!!! So after that, I got it up and running, got it online, got “peggle” for my mom, and all is well. But besides, that, How can you work with suck a savage OS like Windows? How can you put up with all the spyware that is installed “for your convenience” by various vendors that do nothing but slow the computer down? When I got my Macs, I turned it on, filled a couple blanks, and in less than 8 minutes I had everything up and running. I”m not being a diva or whatever you people will say, it’s a simple fact: Mac OS X runs better, and does more for the computer experience, than what a Windows OS can do. One good thing is that it was Windows XP, not Vista on the netbook, I can handle that.

One other side note. I’m impressed how cheap thumb drives have gotten. I picked up a 16 gig one dirt cheap, and can see a lot of potential as to what to do with it.

Ok, now onto what I was going to talk about. i was listening to one of Leo Laporte’s many netcasts, and he brought up a story about how journalism grad courses still have a hight level of applications to get into. he brought up a good point in that what they teach in them is for a past era and for a media that is dying. The new media is like what I do: blogs, Twitter, Facebook, and everything but print media and traditional media. Look around the country and you’ll see that newspapers are dying left and right. Although many are. I will say that the small town papers will survive due to the local news they can do that a website like AP or Reuters can’t. maybe in some major markets like the New York or Los Angeles the newspaper will survive, but with so many outlets now to get news, they may be an endangered species.

I went to college to get into the media business. Granted I didn’t go to the RIGHT school to get into the biz, but I was also trying to get into it where the big shift was just started. Back when I started to get in, Video/audio editing equipment was expensive and complex. Now modern computers are potential radio/TV studios, and with the advent of broadband-despite the shitty speeds this country has compared to other parts of the world-you can have your own TV show and broadcast it to the world in minutes and inexpensively. This is all well and good to a point, but beyond that point all the noise made by people just turns into just noise where you just are overwhelmed with it. That’s when you try to get through it all to get the “good” media, it’s distorted by the crap out there.

I don’t take this blog seriously. I’m not trying to break news or inform you readers of anything. I just sit here and write what’s on my mind and shockingly people read this. I don’t make any money off of it, nor do I really have a need to. Unfortunately there are those people who do the same as me, but try to make themselves into the next media sensation, which makes those who are legitimately trying to be a blogger/news source look like a bunch of assholes. And as I have said in the past, in this country there are rubes and marks that will believe whatever they read/hear/see, and that sadly makes the crap media people have a sense of power. Then when there is enough crap, this wall of white noise is there to confuse and overwhelm the common person. Granted I prefer this a little more than the old school way-where there were a small group of people who control what information gets out there where the motto is, as Bill Hicks once said about the media and government, “Here you go America, you are free to do as we tell you.” There has to be a happy medium for this, but it can kind of go along with you try to restrict it and that would violate the first amendment. I guess this is a “feast or famine” thing.

Old media is trying to fight back and try to make a buck, which further complicates the issue. Especially when they are trying to protect and stop the new types of media using the antiquated copyright laws, which shockingly is working if you look at all the DRM on media you buy, all the conditions you have when using sites like the network websites, Hulu.com and Itunes, and just the stupid things to prevent piracy that cost them more to implement than the actual piracy. It’s a mess now, but over time it will clear itself up and those who can adapt and take advantage of the chaos will come out on top.

Ok I’m losing steam and what I thought would be an intelligent post here probably turned into garbage. I think I’ll stop trying to sound smart and leave it here

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Now is the time for action, I’ve done enough thinking and it’s time to start doing something. I first said I am trying to change myself. I”m trying to make myself better, not just to be a better role model to some and person, but my overall health. I’m not bullshitting you when I say that some actually said they don’t want me to keel over. That’s a hell of a thing to be told. So I am doing all I can to not get myself at “that point” again. So far it’s working, but like most bad habits, it’s difficult to just stop. I”m getting better and now starting to not just get myself worked up over things in the grand scheme of things are nothing.

Another change I plan is a new tattoo. Like I said I have plans on what I want, and now I got to discuss it with the artist. It’s something that will help me remind me that in life there has to be a balance in life to be OK. It’s impossible to have an entire life of positivity or an entire life of negativity, it’s just not healthy to live that way. Also life is simply a mixture of good and bad, that’s just a fact. So my idea for a tattoo was inspired by me realization. Already since I am trying to change some people have had decided I am no longer needed, and that’s their choice. So sometime in the near future I will have something added to my body.

One other thing I will be doing this week is laying the groundwork for the website I am going to be building. I decided to just start to get that going. This week I will start planning the layout and how I want it to look visually, then start getting actual content together for it. Hopefully it won’t take too long to get that together, but who knows.

Finally, I am going to drop my myspace page. First off it seems like that all I do now is get spam from different’ scumbags on there. Second I never got an answer why they think this site is considered spam at one point, but apparently they don’t do that anymore. I just have issues wth how they handle things there. I do have a Facebook page, and I like their setup more, there are more “gates” to help keep the nonsense from getting into people’s pages. Also the level of control is there that Myspace doesn’t have. So in the next week or so I am going to get rid of my page. What does that mean for those who read this via the link I put there? Sorry. You can simply bookmark the page and check it out every so often, or I put up the link when I do an entry on my Twitter account (twitter name pmarus78), or if you’re into RSS feeds, the page here has one.

After I post this, I’m going to keep up my Mypsace account for another week then junk it.

My next blog entry I already have an idea of doing, If you don’t like to read about ramblings about social media, journalism, and where both are going, it may not be for you.

Monday, April 13, 2009

A couple days before Tax day, and here’s a link to a video to help you out with your preparation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0RebubZ3f4

Of course after you file and get your refund, here’s a great place to spend it, and also pick up that lovely lady something along the way. God bless you hayseeds!!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLJtxkeDEdA

Also, the Mega Millions drawing is Tuesday, and if I win, I”ll be just as humble and charitable with my money like this gentleman is in these videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w56xpJEy7Io

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpxC_bZLROA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFQeB2vfoOg

now for something you to get stuck in your head all day. You’re welcome:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K7IKT4cvAE

Though in all seriousness, here's a video that made me feel good after seeing it, since it’s about a good person. I may come off as anti-religion, but I am not. I”m for one to have a spiritual life, but that’s a private matter for each person. I respect all those who do have a level of spirituality, but I don’t when one tries to push their beliefs on me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEzQcTa5R_c

Finally, I just wanted to say to those on Myspace, I’m most likely getting rid of it. I like Facebook where I am not bombarded by spam. I”ll get rid of the profile at some point, but I barely ever look at it, and mot of my social media time is on Facebook and Twitter. So I’d advise getting the RSS feed link to this, or be my friend on Facebook-assuming I choose to accept you. Also simply follow me on twitter.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter all. From my extensive Catholic upbringing, Today is when jesus rose from the dead, and turned a bunch of bunnies into yummy chocolate treats. He has nothing to do with the Peeps-those are the work of the Devil. yeah, that’s it. Besides, look up what other “Christians” say, and you’ll see I”m not as crazy. In fact, here’s a crazy Christian rant:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba0-ctqzRsg


Hope all had a good time spending this day with loved ones. I spent my Easter in Jersey. it was good overall, despite it was in Jersey. It was good seeing some relatives, and hopefully I will get out of the area to actually see some of these relatives soon. Still have to figure out that part.

Earlier this week, for those who follow me on Twitter or Facebook (look me up if you don’t), I put out there a question about what I should do for a new tattoo on my leg. I chose to use the Ying-Yang symbol, but I didn’t just want that. I asked for some ideas as far what else I should have with it. I got one idea-a dragon around the symbol, and that really intrigued me. I should look into that idea, that does sound cool. I should get a hold of the tattoo artist who did an awesome job on my back (in fact he reads this I think, so he probably just got what I was thinking), and see what can be done. I explained why I like the Ying-Yang symbol, maybe I’ll write something again on it.

I am enjoying my mac Mini in my living room, it was good to have the past couple nights watching the Mets game-good to look up stats and info as the game was going on, as well as the Strikeforce MMA event on Showtime last night where I wanted more info on a couple fighters featured on the event.

As far as the Strikeforce MMA event goes, it was overall a good event. Outside of UFC, I enjoy Strikeforce. They are a group who does business right-they keep themselves in the limits their money has them, they don’t revolve their entire promotion around one fighter, and they have a plan to grow their fighters and promotion to make it a stable promotion like the UFC is. Give these guys a shot and you’ll find a quality product. My only advice is that if you watch the replay on Showtime; mute the audio. the announcers are dogshit. They are glorified pro wreslting announcers, where they over promote fighters, and try to create controversy and drama. They also try to make up storylines that aren’t there. I’m guessing CBS and Showtime made the promotion use them, but they sucked with Elite XC, and honestly one of the reasons Elite XC failed, and should NOT be used in and MMA show.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

What is it with newborns that makes anyone who sees them start to think how life i so damn fragile, and that life isn’t something that should just be taken for granted. After seeing my cousin’s daughter, it did get me thinking a little about myself and how I handle a lot of things in my life. I started to make some changes in how I live and how I handle some situations. Seeing this new life and knowing I was asked to be the Godfather to the child, it’s inspired me to try to make myself a better person and just be a good role model for the child, which is something that a Godfather is expected to be.

First thing I am trying to do, amongst some deep stuff I am trying to improve within myself due to some instances in the past, is trying to keep in contact with people. I am trying to clean up all my contact lists and files so I can keep in touch with people. I”m trying to make sure I have all the people I knows information, and so fat it seems I lost a lot of it. So now I am trying to scrounge people’s info. If anyone wants to pass along their info to me, first don’t do it in the comments section, either try via Myspace, through IM, or email if you have my address. Also if you can give you birthday info as well, cool. I figured out how to set up Ical to put people’s birthdays in it, and would like to not look like a douchebag when I don’t know it’s your birthday.

I did get my Mac Mini, and it’s all set up. I”m so proud of myself that I got it up and running. the resolution is as best as I could get on my TV, which looks good regardless. I was able to set it up that I can play my music and podcasts on it via streaming the media from my Imac in my room. I also started looking at Youtube and Hulu and all the video sites on it and it’s quite impressive the quality of the videos. It’s also nice to surf the web as I am watching TV in PIP, nice and convenient.

That’s all I will say right now, I got to get some sleep.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

This weekend has been one of positivity. This weekend, my cousin, who I consider more of a brother than cousin, and his wife were blessed with the birth of their first child. They rushed to the Friday night, and this morning, their daughter was born. I haven’t personally seen the child yet. When I went to visit, the mother was half asleep, and my cousin went home to get some stuff done, so I just spent a few minutes, dropped my gift off, and went home. I’m sure I’ll get yelled at for the gift-in which I spent too much on something for them-but dammit, they deserve it, and actually deserve more considering what they have done for me in the past. On top of this good news, another cousin and his wife are finalizing the paperwork on adopting a child form a surrogate mother. See, I always said that those who do right and good will be rewarded in the end. My two cousins, who have had to deal with some real rough stuff, always did the right things in life to others and now they are being blessed in this way. I hope both of them never question if they are doing the right thing in life-what they have received recently and will receive soon is proof enough they are.

On that nice point, I am moving to some other things that mean nothing. First is my Mac Mini is on its way. I ordered it last week, and have been waiting. I ordered it with express shipping, but the thing is that apparently it doesn’t mean much when ordering directly form Apple. See, my computer’s origin is from China, probably since I had some custom ordered some aspects. So now my computer may also be being used as a heroin mule. Looking at the tracking status, it was in China for a few days-probably walked from the factory to the Fed Ex depot there. as of Sunday night it’s in the US-it left Nashville today. It should arrive Wednesday, but who the hell knows. Funny fact; I also ordered a mini DVI-to-VGA adaptor I need to connect the Mac Mini to my TV. That arrived 2 days after I ordered. I would have figured both would have been sent at the same time, but since my Mini was coming form the other side of the world (thanks globalization of the economy), I understand.

some quick shots before I go to bed:

-Seeing the new ESC sweatshirt and the logo on the back, that has given me some inspiration for a tattoo. I’ve been trying to figure out a cool tattoo for my leg, and that has sort of given me an idea. I’m really picky about what I want to put on my body, so that’s why I am taking so long to figure out what I want to do.

-The website thing has ground to a halt, but this week I am going to force myself to start working on it. It may start out really basic and text only, and maybe later on I’ll add more.

-Two shows you all should dvr and will enjoy: “Bully Beatdown” and “Dhani Tackles the Globe”. “Bully Beatdown is hosted by MMA fighter Jason “Mayhem” Miller. It sounds like a bad comedy bit or commercial, but he premise of the show is that he helps out people who are bullied. What he does is that he challenges these bullies to a fight, with $10,000 on the line, but the bully fights another MMA fighter. The fight is broken down into two parts: grappling and kickboxing. The grappling part is where they wrestle for 5 minutes and every time the bully taps out, he loses $1000 of the $10,000. the second part, kickboxing is just that for 5 minutes. If the bully gets knocked out, he loses all the money. It’s really a great show and good to see scum get their asses kicked by guys who aren’t bullies-but guys who are anything but and do stick up for the little guy. It’s also the only show that’s good on MTV these days

The second show, “Dhani tackles the Globe,” features NFL linebacker Dhani Jones traveling around the world playing local sports and learning about the culture through training and playing the sports. He says in the opening “If you want to learn about a culture, play their sports.” Its’ a fascinating show in the Travel Channel, and one worth checking out

-Finally, I need to thank Direct TV for coming up with their Iphone app. It’s saved my ass several times. It’s an app where you can search shows and see when they are airing. You can also schedule your DVR through it. That’s what I’ve done several times already, and I do that rather than going through the channel guide on my box. It’s just simple and a great app if you got Direct TV.