I got some tings on my mind but I want to first get something that I found funny to watch. Public access in Nyc is interesting to say the least. Sure most of the shows are crap, but I found one that I fine entertaining. Its called “Drinking with Bob”. It's done by a comedian and his friends, and he rants about current events in an in-your-face style....think of a low-rent version of the old Denis Leary MTV commercials. That's not a bad thing, it's simple and funny. His site is www.drinkingwithbob.com, and on there are his rants form the past and some other interesting things.

Now to something a little more serious. I am getting sick of the publicity whores Rev Al Sharpton, and Jessie Jackson. These two have been banging the drum of trouble the past week over first the Michael Richards issue and now the Queens Shooting recently (Google it to find out what happened, not in the mood to write about it here). They have pretty much been calling for a race riot over the issue, and if that should happen I hope the cops arrest these two for inciting it. Mayor Bloomburg hasn't helped the situation when yesterday he got in front of the press and claimed that this was something that hasn't been proven yet since the investigation just started. This is so wrong on so many levels and could lead to a wrong conclusion like when Bloomburg said the attack in Howard beach by “fat Nick” (again, Google it if you don't know what I am talking about) was a hate crime when nothing of that was proven. Eventually it was tried as a hate crime and it was partly due to his statement. Why would Bloomburg suddenly just give a statement that makes his own cops look bad? Simple: “White guilt”

See, “White Guilt” is when the Whites will just fold before any minority group in an argument and give them what they want since whites in theory feel bad for the past oppressions. I think it' bullshit and that there is NO reason for “White Guilt” anymore. Whites shouldn't feel like they “owe” anyone anything. This is what is happening in society and it's making people pussies. I learned the best way to live now is to call these pussies out on their crap, and you will succeed. As long as you know whet you want and stand for, you can make these pussies go away and the world can finally be ran the way it should be. Call me whatever you want, but I will no longer give into their guilt trip minorities try to pull on me. As far as I'm concerned, all people are equal to me, no more no less. Why should I treat someone different since they have a different shade of skin color. To me, no matter what race you are, you are an asshole.

Side note from a conversation I had today: The Jews aren't a race, they are a religion and they have to STOP calling themselves a race. I can choose to be a Jew, but I can't choose to be Latino. Israeli Jews claim this the most, but in reality they are Arabs with European blood mixed in. I hate hearing that they are some race that was chosen by God. Yes this was an interesting conversation in a bank..but I”ll let you figure out the punchline of that joke.

Speaking of Jokes, the Michael Richards issue is really stupid. What all that was about was a hack comic that lost control of the crowd and eventually losing his cool, and showed how much he sucks when he isn't riding Seinfeld's coat-tails. The way the people are complaining, you'd think he actually hung a black man on stage. To tell you how much the Black community is fighting this, the only major black comics that came out against him have been Sinbad and Monique (whoever she is). That's the best they can do!!!

ok I think I said enough tonight...

-This weekend was good for me. Although I was a little down about Thursday, The weekend that followed it was really good. I spent the weekend working part of the day Friday, but almost no one was there so it was all good. There was the Hot chick that I see a lot and she smiles and says hi to me from time to time, so the bordem wasn't so bad. Side note: I wouldn't really persue anything with her anyway, just something about being in the same workplace that could complicate things. I barely talk to her anyway, and if I were to talk to her more, it would probably be keeping her form her job since she is an admin. and always busy at her desk. Still it gives me motivation to work around her part of the building!!! That night I hung out with my cousin, and we both needed to hang out. It was nice to see him, and he seemed like he as glad to see me too. It helped blow some steam out over some things that happened earlier in the week that put me in a bad mood.

Saturday was a nice day wher I just hung out around the house and did nothing. For the most part I just watched college football and think. I felt better thinking and reading some books I haven't read in a while and they all put things in perspective. That night I spent the night in my room listening to the “Black Phillip” show, AKA “Bitch Managment” hosted by Patrice Oneal. It's a show where the comic gives his views on relationships and how they should be handled. It's a great show, and I learned a lot about myself through it. Let's just say I am a “black and White” kind of guy, and for some reason a lot of grey has been getting stuck in my life and messing things up. I feel as if now my head is clearer and that I am ready to resume how I SHOULD be living my life, especially sine this grayness led to what happened ealy this week (not the actual incident, but the period leading up to it). The way i have been handling people lately has been not how I should be, and that is going to change now. I know what I want form people in my life, and if they can't handle it, nice knowing you or shut up and deal with it. It's my life and I am the one in control here.

-Those who are wondering what I want for Christmas? Like I told my family I want just work clothes and, as Randy moss said, straight cash homies!!! I really need more polo shirts and khakis for work, and just give me money and I can get what I want rather than have you freak out wondering what I want. I still need to do some shopping still, but it may not be all actual gifts.

-I need new music to listen to. I need some new bands to listen to. Anyone got any ideas email me, Myspace me, whatever. Just need some new sounds.

Since I last posted, I got some positive news career-wise, but that won't all be official until January. On the other hand I got told something that at first was hard to take, but after some thought I have to accept what was decided no matter how much I think it sucks. See, that stupid yin-yang theory worked again!!! See, a sound theory if you ask me.

Well Turkey Day is over, and despite the rain, it was a good day. I usually try not to look into the past of think about the future too much anymore (seriously, what's the point, neither one you have control over), but today I was thinking about the future. I was at my Aunts house today to see her and some of m cousins, and it hit me how every year that goes by is one less year that will have these people. Not in a negative way, but it's just fact that as time goes by, people go away and you will not have these moments with them anymore.

This fact really hit me hard when I went to dinner with my mom and sister to the Island and my aunts house. I was sitting there looking around at my other relatives and realizing a couple things. First, I miss my dad and he really had a lot of patience with my family members. This is the first Thanksgiving where he wasn't here. The second thing I realized is that my family is getting old, and that it's not going to be long until this tradition of going to my aunts house is over for some reason or another. See a lot of my family are at least 15 years older than me, and they all have their own families and soon they will have their own traditions. It's a hell of a thing to have hit you while you are eating dinner. When all this all came to me, I realized that I shouldn't be upset at these family functions over little things, and just remember these times, since they may never happen again.

Sorry for the bummer of a post, but it's hard to get into the festive mood this time of year, between the almost constant darkness due to the winter and that this is about the same time my father died, and it's still surreal that I am the “man' here, when I come home and I only see my mom and sister. When they need help I have to be the man and do it, and sometimes that's hard to really take in. Today for example it was odd to see the living room with my family today and NOT see my dad sitting there with his charm and making my family smile and laugh. I guess this is something that will go away, and I am sure Christmas is going to not be that bad since I went through it last year without him, but then again I was going through it still in some sort of shock.

Anyway, enough of me going on here. The point I have is that no matter ow pissed you get at your family this holiday season, be thankful you even have family to enjoy the holidays with. Whatever anxiety you have with your family, nuclear or extended, let it go for a day and just chill out. When you stop and think, you will see all the anxiety and crap means nothing and holidays should be a time to enjoy life.

Tonight i just wanted to write a couple things before I hit the sack. I just have a couple things on my mind tonight that I cant' sleep until I get them out somehow.

First, lately I have gotten emails from someone that was special to me, until things ended badly a few months ago. Short story short, my heart was crushed and it made me question a lot about myself. Well she writes to me telling me how she misses me and wish I was still around to talk to (that's all she wanted from me, friendship after telling me she wanted more weeks before). She then tells me how much that although things didn't end on the best of terms, she still uses what I told her and what I talked to her about in the past to help her get through some of the hardships she is in and what led to things going sour. The led me to think about how much of an impact one has on others lives. You may not realize this, but whenever you talk to someone or do something to/for someone, you are making some form of an impact on another's life. This could be good or bad, but none the less you impact others. Just think about who you talk to and what affect your talking to or doing things for does, it is amazing when you think about it...at least to me that is!

I know that I like to help others and it does get me hurt or taken advantage of, but when I see what my help or talks do to help others out, I find that to be a great feeling and know that I am a powerful person and that my words and actions have some form of an impact on others. Don't believe me? If you know my family members that I helped out in the past, they will tell you what my help has done for them. I still get called a “saint” in some parts of my family. I learned this from my father, who did a lot for others just because it's the right thing to do. He told me that whatever you do for others, it will be rewarded back to you. He was talking about the idea of Karma I guess, but whatever, it's something I believe in and have seen first hand work.

I don't know about you, but I am having a hard time getting used to the amount of darkness there is this time of year. For some reason I have been feeling a little down due to the night being so early, and I find myself thinking it's much later than it really is. From what I understand, this is fairly common so I'm not too worried about me losing my mind.

Life is going on, and most of isn't that bad. I ran into some celebrates last Friday night in Manhattan. I ran into Fez, East Side Dave, and Black Earl of the “Ron and Fez” show at a bar where their fan message board had a little get together, and it was really cool to meet these guys. They were really down to earth and a good time was had by all. I just want to say to those who read this and were there, good meeting up with you and hope to do it again

Mets sold their stadium naming rights to Citigroup, and personally I don't care. There will be memorials and statues dedicated to the influential people in NY baseball history, but for the most part the Mets have EVERY right to sell the name off. They are paying for the stadium themselves and hey have to generate capital for it, and if the want to whore their house's name away, it's their right.

My Giants aren't looking so hot right now. They do have a great lineup of talent....on paper......under the heading “Injured for the season”!!! On the bright side they realistically only have to win 4 more games to be in good shape to make the playoffs.

I thought the rule was when “Rutgers”, “National Title” are mentioned, and the phrase “No chance in hell” isn't in the middle, the world is supposed to collapse. Must help when you play in a pathetic conference in football like the Big Least. Sure PSU has lost games this season, but at least they play against real football schools, not glorified basketball schools.

Just a couple quick things on me.

First, I am enjoying FireWire!!! This is the first computer I've had that has the port for it, and I used it when I was burning a DVD the other day, and it did it so fast I thought there was something wrong!!! Needless to say if you can use FireWire over USB, much faster!!!

Right now I'm debating if I am going to put up my resume on some jobsites. I want to see what is out there and if there is anything better for me. The thing is I am so rusty with MS Office programs and now I am told I am most likely getting full-time status with BofA in the first quarter of 07, and the only thing that has stopped me from getting it earlier is a budget thing. I don't know if this is all true, since I take what most people say with a grain of salt (that's in life too...you can say one thing, but if you don't show what you mean what you say, it's all bullshit to me), and they could just be dangling a carrot in front of me to keep me from leaving (which happens quite a bit at my place, either people leave or they get fired and it happens almost monthly there's at last 3 new people in the department). I”m not really in a rush to get a new job now, so I may see what happens here. So far my bosses haven't screwed me over so there's a chance they could be speaking the truth.

CHEAP PLUG if you think I could fit into a position in your organization, a link to my resume can be found on this page, so take a look-see!! END CHEAP PLUG

This past weekend was just weird. Friday was cool, but with the fact that I had to work on Saturday meant I couldn't really drink too much that night. The partying did end a little early but my cousin's wife got ripped enough so she had a good time (her slurring announcement and math as to what her birthday gifts were going to on the cab ride home were proof that she had a good time). I crashed at my cousins place so I could b there to help paint his apartment. I was up early to go to the hardware store to get the paint and stuff we needed. We got 4 gallons of paint, thinking that we were going to paint the entire place, but in the end we barely used one. The reason is because we only did one coat of pain o his hallway, and only really did nothing more than touch up on the other walls. This plan was to just “freshen up” the walls, and in the end he didn't need to really repaint the whole place. It was a good or bad thing, it was good that we didn't have to move his place around and cause even more headaches and potential fights between him and his now hungover wife, but at the same time I planned my entire day around this, thinking I was going to be there all day to work.

After I get a ride home, I was in a surly mood, which led to everyone pissed at me. I was in such a miserable mood over the apartment thing and that I had nothing to do now, that I was just in a pissy mood all day. Eventually I took a nap after the PSU game, and I felt a little better. I was also in a down mood that I wanted to hang out with someone Sat. Night, but things happened and it just didn't happen. Wasn't anything either of us could do about it, but it happens. I wasn't angry about it, just disappointed that I couldn't see the person, but oh well there was nothing I could do. I spent the night laying around watching movies and went to bed at 10:30 because I wanted the day to end. I thought about maybe I should have gone to my HS reunion, but in the end glad I didn't. Not because I didn't want to see those from HS, but that I was in such a bad mood, that there was a chance something about my past could have came up and put me in a even worse funk. Who knows, I'm sure I am bound to run into a couple of my former HS chums down the road.

Sunday I was still in a grumpy mood, but a phone call I had put me in a better mood. I got up got showered, and went for a nice walk. After I got the papers and returned home, I did some cleaning. I decided after to drive around since I didn't' drive my car for a while. When I got back I watched the Giants half-assed it against the Texans. Seems the team had next week on their minds but in the end the Giants won, and now they look good as far as the NFC East goes and the NFC overall. After that the day seemed to go on with out issues.

That's about it..thanks for reading this piece of nonsense!!!