The past evening has had me bashing my skull in as far as my website. I finally got it up onto MobileMe and got it linked to my domain name, and it looked HORRIBLE. On top of it, the address was a mess. So after trying to get it to work, I decided to really look at some other sites to host. I know some people have offered me space for free to host my site, but I found a place called Squarespace.com that looks like it will suit my needs.

I've heard about the site and their service through Leo Laporte and his netcasts, and I looked at the site tonight. They are part of that "cloud computing" phase-where everything goes into a central spot to be stored, and you can access it from any computer. Their site has all the tools to build a site, and it's so expandable, the possibilities are endless. Their price structure is pretty flexible is where you can start at one level and expand it as you go- if your site gets bigger you can seamlessly expand the bandwidth and storage size. I also like that not only I can build a personal site with my resume, links to all the things I support and enjoy,and whatever I feel like doing, my blog here can be transfered there. So I can keep all my old posts if I wanted. I am not sure if I will but it's an option. I'm going to sign up to their free trial, mess around with it, and see what I can do.

One big hurdle I have-I need good pictures of me. All the pics I have of me and have seen of me are not good. My cousin and his wife have pictures of me holding heir child, and I look like a real creep in them! I got to work on that...

Another tech note is that after the whole wedding thing, I scanned the license into my computer as a PDF, and thought about taking all my important files and scan them into my computer. Then I am thinking of putting them encrypted onto a disc or a thumb-drive and put them into a safe deposit box. God forbid something happens, I'd at least have a copy of the important documents.
This is something all of you should consider doing, just to be safe.

Finally, I have to pour out a little from my 40 for a true pimp and playa-Billy Mays. the dude can sell anything. Hell, he got me to buy a "Big City Slider maker", and it does work well. He was part of a great show on Discovery that really showed how these God-awful commercials really are made. I think Discovery is showing a marathon of the show called "Pitchmen" on Wed. and I will be recording them. As goofy as he is on TV, he seemed like a decent guy who really didn't let all they fame get to his head. Sadly he died, and the Meth-head selling Shamwows lives, beating hookers up. Funny thing is I was told someone I know wanted to be Billy Mays for Halloween. It's still a good idea, just hope he goes around saying "ow my head!"

I don't know what's going on, but tonight I've been really down. Not mush of a shock huh? This weekend was pretty cool overall, but just in the end it was a downer. Last night I hung around the house and watched the Red Bull lose again. Thing is that they do not suck altogether. Defensively they can holdup well, just they let one slip up (usually around 40 mins. into a half), and their impotent offense can't overcome that one mistake. It is quite frustrating, but can't say the entire team is bad. This is one of those teams that although the team is bad, if they can keep the hard working player together and fix the negatives, this could be a strong team in a year or two. But knowing this team they'll blow it all up and start over-much like every season before. On the bright side I had alcohol around and it made the night bearable.

Sunday started with a trip to my father's gravesite. I went with my mom and sister ad we put flowers on the site for a belated Father's day and flowers for my aunt who also is buried at the site. We stayed there for a bit, saying our little prayers and making sure it's cleaned up around it. I felt bad I couldn't make it up there for Father's day, but due to the weather in the morning last weekend I couldn't make it up to the site as well as my grandfather's site. In the afternoon I went to Brooklyn to spend some time at a couple festivals and hang out with someone, and as great as it was to do, I felt bad after it because I wasn't "on". When i hang out with anyone I feel like I should be, since they are taking time to hang out, I don't want to feel like I am wasting their time. It could all be in my head, but still I hate feeling like I wasted someone's time, that's just me.

I didn't get to see a lot of the Brazil-US game during the day, but I watched a recording of it and I wasn't sad about the loss. I wasn't sad, but frustrated with the US team. This frustration happens a lot. The US team doesn't realize how good they are. The first half they looked confident, playing to win. That first half is how the team should play EVERY GODDAMN GAME!!! I was lucky to see this side of the team in person when I went to Ohio to watch the WCQ against Mexico. The US went up 2-0 against Brazil, and looked like they had them on the ropes. Then came halftime, where in that 15 minutes that mentality went away and the other mentality the US is notorious to have. The second half was the US playing scared and playing not to lose. What happened when they did this? they give up three goals and lose a game the SHOULD have won. This side of the US team is what drives me batshit crazy.

Typical US society, everyone is now taking it as "well, at least they made the final." "We should be proud they played so well against the best in the world." etc. ESPN was sugar-coating the fact that the US lost the game themselves. Looking for positives in a loss is so counterproductive-it doesn't help improve the team's negatives but may reinforce them and make them even harder to fix. But hey, this is how most Americans want to live, and that is what has been one of the things that has led this country into the toilet.

Anyway, Since my trip to Brooklyn-which is a cool place, I been at home just moping around and feeling like shit. I decided to write this, and I got a surprise message from someone I haven't talked to in months, with news that was quite unexpected. My first reaction of the news was: "good, got what you deserve. hope it leads to a slow and painful hell the rest of your life." Fucked up thought, but honestly that's what I thought. Still unfortunate but that's life.

Anyway it's Sunday, so these ramblings are common since I hate Sunday nights for events that happened on one Sunday night. Oh, since I am now an ordained minister, I figure these aren't inane ramblings, but my sermons I am preaching.

So I decided to give setting up my site again, needed something different to do tonight. It's also something to distract my mind. SO far I think it's done for now, I just need some photos of myself to put on it. Anyone with some GOOD photos of me let me know. I also have to get the personal bio proofread and critiqued by someone. I am going to use one of the domain names I registered for it, and I am going to host on my Mobile Me web-space for now and see what happens. Maybe down the road I'll go with some site hosts like Squarespace, but for how it's not going to be too much for Mobile Me to handle, at least I hope.

As far as if I will continue the blog here or move it over to my own site, I'm up in the air about that. I may try some test entries there, see what happens, and then go from there.

I was talking to someone today about my father, and the person asked me about how did he die. I told this person what happened, and what I find to be the dumbest question ever to ask someone was asked to me. The person asked me the question "What did he die of?" See, to me this is one of the dumbest question you an ask someone who has lost someone. I don't see the point in asking that question and getting that information. What difference does it make how someone dies, the fact of the matter is that the person is dead and that's all. PLease don't ask anyone why someone they loved died, or even for the matter why anyone loses someone they care about in anyway. There's no point in analyzing why, but just deal with the loss and move forward from it.

One other phrase I heard a few times today for some reason is "those who can't, teach." I figured out using this logic what I would excel in teaching others:

how to be social and friendly with others
how to meet mentally stable women who won't use things in their lives to cover for their chating
how to have a long-lasting and healthy relationship with someone
how to use Windows operating systems
how to love the state of New Jersey

I"m sure there are other courses I cold teach well.

Friday was one of the most surreal moments of my life.

Friday i got to do my first wedding. I did the wedding of two friends of mine. I was nervous moreso because I just didn't want this wonderful moment. Luckily, most of the people attending this thing were really goofing around to help lower the tension, as well as still shocked that not only these two are getting married but they were getting married by ME!!!! It got to the point where I had to show all the credentials. So the ceremony went off in the oven of my friends living room (20 people in one room....not good), then we took pictures outside of the house, and then went to dinner. Had a nice dinner, then went back to the couple's house, got all the paper work, and left. Today i looked it all over, filled out the second envelope I was given (one envelope had the city clerk's office's address, the other one was blank with the clerk's address in the return address area). I filled out the second envelope with the address EXACTLY as it was on the license, stuffed it and the license into the envelope, put postage on both, and sent it on its way today. As far as I know, I did everything I had to do. I am a little nervous about it going right, just because it's the first time I'm doing this and it's two friends.

Now I've been on a high since the wedding, since it made me feel good making them happy. Even the fact that the shithole called the Meadowlands and their fucked setup didn't bother me. Today was Father's day, happy day to all the father's out there. I didnt' get to do what I wanted to do this morning mostly since the weather wasn't too good, but I'm going to my father's and grandfather's grave sites next weekend. I spent the afternoon with family, and was glad to see my cousin on this day since it's his first as a father.

After the family thing, I came home and felt down. I know I"m a grown man and should be totally independent and be living my life, but in the end I miss my dad. I've written a ton about him in the past and I won't bore you with it again, but I miss the guy. He was the man in the family and did all he could do for them. I try to live my life like that, and despite some things i have done he wouldn't be cool with, I hope I can at least get close to that standard he set, as well as the standard my grandfather set before him. I miss a lot of people who are no longer in my life. Some aren't in my life because they can't be anymore, some aren't because etiher I won't allow them in my life anymore or vice versa, yet all of them I haven't been able to fill the void they left. My dad is at the top of the list.

Sorry for the downer end to this, but just wanted to get that out.

I am SO for the same-sex marriage bill passing, mostly because of my new position can lead me to making some good cash. I showed some people the credentials I have, and most of the reaction is disbelief or just humor. But anyway, I am happy with my choice, and I hope to make others happy through my work.

Ok, now to the main thing I was thinking of tonight. I was looking around the Internet tonight and watching some old wrestling clips on Youtube. Along with this I was looking around my Itunes collection seeing what I should put on my Iphone. What made me think about is what music gives you goosebumps, and just energizes you. Think about what songs comes on your radio or Ipod that just gets you going and "up". Here's some examples I have. One thing I will say is that some come from my watching of ECW, which did link music to the wrestlers, but there are others.

"Walk" by Pantera-the first 30 seconds of this song is my ringtone on my phone. I really first heard it form wrestling when it was the entrance music for Rob Van Dam. This song would hit and the crowd would EXPLODE, and would sing with the hook of the song. To this day, I hear it and my skin gets goosebumps, and I almost have a need to point o my back with my thumbs for some reason. Even on it's own it's an awesome song that can get one's blood pumping.

"Enter Sandman" by Metalica-buildup of the song form the start to when it really kicks in is really done. It's also one of the last great songs by the band. Also Google "Sandman entrance", and you'll see how a song should be used for a wrestler.

"Blind" by Korn-Again, the build up for the song is well done. It gets a crowd really jumping when it kicks in, and the best visual of this is video of the crowd from the last Woodstock.

"KIng Nothing" by Metallica-Just like "Enter Sandman", it starts off simple and builds up to a really awesome rock song. The video is also pretty good as well

"Natural Born Killaz" by Ice Cube and Dr. Dre-I liked this song before the wrestler New Jack used it as his music (which is played through his entire matches). Not exaclty a kids-friendly song, but the overall song is just put together well.

I have a bunch of others, but I would be writing all night.

just filling space and time here folks, had to write about something no matter how dumb it was. I have to force to write more to make myself a better writer.

Video I made tonight, between Sunday and just the whole period since 2006, I felt like I had to draw a line



link if you can't see video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HtzZ3rJ65U

I wanted to put up a couple things I have been up to. I did get the whole ordained Minster paperwork and I am pretty much one, I just have to fill out the paperwork for NYC so I could perform marriages in NYC. I'll put up a picture of the certificate at some point.

I also got my seat relocation info for Red Bull Arena today, and I sent the card back already. All I put on the part of where you prefer to be seated, I simply put "wherever the ESC is put". I did this despite the shit treatment the ESC received in Foxboro but both the Revs front office and the Red Bulls. We get to the stadium (after having a jerkoff bus driver letting no one do anything that he should allow them to if he wanted a tip) and we see a Red Bull setup. We thought it was due to teh Red Bulls team (who paid for the trip and organized some of it), but it was teh Red Bulls Corporation who wanted nothing to do with us-despite the money we all put in to support part of the organization. Well security was called, a couple people were detained for being drunk (they sat in the holding cell under the stadium for the entire game). We were moved to the farthest parking lot of the stadium-at least a half mile from the stadium itself. After the thrashing by the Revs, we start getting on the bus. Some Revs fans take cheap shots at a couple guys, it escalates into a mini brawl, then the cops arrive and PEPPER SPRAY THE GROUP-including one in a wheelchair. Three members of teh Garden State Supporters-another supports group that sits with the ESC-were arrested, and NO Revs supporters were. Those guys were held long enough to not get a ride home on a bus (the idea t first was they were being held overnight).

To top it all off, said jerkoff bus driver had a bright idea. To get into Manhattan to drop us off, he drove INTO NEW JERSEY to get to the Lincoln Tunnel, rather than drive down Broadway, and back into the City. The Lincoln Tunnel was packed due to a tube being shut down, so he goes to the Holland Tunnel-FURTHER taking us away from where we were supposed to go. Lots of traffic there as well, but eventually we get back to MSG to unload. We were at least 2 hours late, and a bunch of guys were stuck in Manhattan for hours until the trains out to the suburbs start up again. I hung out with them for a bit before going home. I finally got home at 4:30am, and thanking God I took Monday off, since I would have to been up at 6am.

This last trip cemented a feeling I've been having. I have decided to never buying anything Red Bulls other than my season tickets. I will support the team that way only. My loyalties are only to the Empire Supporters Club. I support this team in the spirit of the team I supported beck when it was first created as Empire SC. In fact, in the near future, I will be putting that loyalty on my body. I believe in what the ESC believes in, and there are people I have met in the group that has showed me many different things about the world and people that has made me a better person. Those from the ESC who have done this, I thank you and you guys have been good friends.

All the Red Bull Jerseys, Scarves, jackets, all their shit goes into the trash. I wear nothing with their stupid logo on it, I won't say their name in any chant or song, I will barely acknowledge the team is owned by Red Bull. When you look past the pretty wrapping of the new stadium, deep down they are the most inept management team that has ever ran a sports franchise. I will post something to visualize what I am talking about tomorrow.

and now, some positive words for the newly graduated college seniors out there, full of hope....

WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!

So you are out of the gated community of College, and you better get to the back of the line and fight for a job. No more is it a time where Mommy and Daddy will protect you form the real world, where they tell you how special you are as the coddle you. You're in the real world bitches. You better be ready that 90% of the things you will do will result in failure. In the real world, you will not get a job....just because. You have to fight and claw and endure looking for a job, struggling with money, struggling to live. You can not rely on anyone but yourself. You are NOT entitled to a GODDAMN thing in this world, so stop with the smug look when you walk around thinking you are owed everything in this world, and that pouting you don't get what you want. Just shut the FUCK up and move on. Now is not the time to sit here and reflect on your feelings, and get all sensitive where you try to analyze what happened. This isn't a psychology session. this is REAL FUCKING LIFE!!! As the Wu Tang Clan once said, "You gotta protect ya goddamn neck!!!"

So you can sit there and think that this world is supposed to be one where humans help each other, and hat we are supposed to hold each other's hand through every single thing we go through....BZZZZZ WRONG!! As many people will help, sure, but for every one of those people there are 100 others that will stomp on you until you submit. Oh, you think it will be different for you? Because you "know how it is"? Don't make me laugh, in college you had everything paid for you or you had your cute part time job that catered to your needs, but most of the money came form the sweat of your parents. In college you were allowed to be a fuckup as long a you did teh absolute minimum. You probably were dumb enough to major in a dying major like Journalism, or Media and think you know what to do to succeed. Take it form someone who walked into that buzzsaw...you don't know shit about a moving target. So keep the pathetic dream alive as you drown in the debt you caused your parents,

Oh, are you spineless now thinking that dark, scary world is going to eat you up? I know what you're thinking: I'll go to graduate school. Good move shithead-rack up even more debt for a glorified BA degree. You're just delaying the inevitable-crying poor while holding up your pretty piece of paper while the responsible working folk like me have to foot your bill.

Now, I am a college graduate and learned all this the hard way. I won't give you advice since I never really got much when I got out of college. Also, I did the insane thing: I never really took a hand out form my family. I could have did the easy thing and went working at one of my relative's jobs, but I thought I'd earn my spot and go my own way. I learned more going that route than I would have going the easy way (what most of you spineless maggots would/will take-since you don't know what earning in life is really about). My cousin did it even harder-he worked AND paid for school. That did more for him than someone paying his way. Honestly, if he and his wife choose to not pay for their kids' college, should that is what the child wants to do, not only would I not say anything I would respect that option.

I said in that last part should the child choose to go to college. I said that because I think those who push their kids to go into college are being negligent parents. If Kids aren't feeling college, why waste their time and you money? I think a college degree is highly overrated these days, and if I were to give advice to a kid just out of high school not sure about college, I'd tell them take classes in Microsoft Office programs, some typing classes, and go get an entry level job in a company, via temp firm or not. Let them see what working is like, and if they do well they have a foot in the door into a company that can lead to a good career. Think I'm talking bullshit? think it's a stupid idea? Look at your friends and people around you, I guarantee you at least one person around you is making more money and didn't go to college.

I can't think of what else I can tell the children just starting out in the world, since everyone knows what's good for them. I will enjoy watching the stupid children finally see that they have to take responsibility for themselves and their actions and see it's not Mommy or Daddy's house where they are safe. It will be like Darwin rules, where only the smart and strong survive, and maybe a couple whiny babies kill themselves and choose not to be a burden on society. I will leave you with a quote I learned to live by that actually came from my favorite wrestler of all time, Taz:

"Beat me if you can, Survive if I let you!"