The good thing with my insurance is that I am open to more doctors to go to. Let this be a lesson; just because a doctor is near your house doesn't mean they are any good. I had to go for a checkup the other day, and it will be the last time I go to the savages in this office. First, my appointment was at 10am. The Doctor didn't show up until 10:40!!!! I go into get my weight taken, and they didn't want me to strip down a little to get a more accurate weight. They have me take the weight and the assistant took the weight for what it is (no adjustment for clothes or anything). So obviously my weight that was recorded was over my actual weight. When the Doctor graced me with her presence (after taking care of someone that came in AFTER me), she starts in with the scare tactics about my weight, even though I am telling her how stupid her staff is and they took the weight wrong!!! So after hearing about my body mass is too high (from a chart-she NEVER did the actual test), how I may have diabetes, and playing the “family died from weight issues so you will too” card, she says she's going to take some blood to see how my medication is doing. I have to wait in the waiting room for 10 minutes (mind you I am just about going to be late for work), I get called in again. The assistant wants me to take off my shirt for an EKG!!!! I screamed to her and whoever was close by to stop wasting my time, take my fucking blood, and let me go since they are causing me to be late. Once all that is done I start running to to the train. By some miracle I get the trains at the right time and just make it into work in time!!!

I can't believe how some savages are allowed to practice medicine!!! and how dolts somehow make it through nursing school-especially ones that look like trannies!! Is the medical industry THAT desperate??? Shouldn't shock me how I as treated, since the doctor is from one of those countries that have over a billion people, have no respect for hygiene or cleanliness, and just have no respect for life (“there's a billion more where he/she came from” attitude). Now it's time for me to get a real doctor. Not to sound gay or sexist, but I want a male doctor, since they seem to know what they are doing.

Starting to learn Spanish, not a lot yet but I am learning. I just got through the first part of the lesson (taking my time-making sure I know it all before I go to the next one). Rosetta Stone has an awesome program, and it's really simple to pick up and I retain a lot of what I am learning. Eventually I will start buying the Spanish paper along with the Daily News so I can help learn the language even more. My goal is to get a good understanding of the language and be able to communicate with others in Spanish, and hopefully I will be able to be successful at it.

Hope you had a safe and good St. Patty's day. Mine was quiet and sober. I had lunch in the afternoon with my family, and it was nice, but also sad that my family is shrinking and seems to every year. It's just something that happens, but I am still thinking of the big gatherings we used to have on special occasions, so it's something I need to adjust to. Saturday night was spent watching TV and some movies. I did get to see most of the Sebring 12 hour race and part of the F-1 Race from Australia , and finished watching it this afternoon.

Today I went for a drive to get some air and I ended up at a mall on the Island. When I was walking around I saw a Rosetta Stone kiosk, and looked at what they had to offer. After a little chat and demo, I picked up the level one program for Spanish. I got the one made for Latin American Spanish, since that's a lot more accurate to what I need to learn for my area here, work if I want to talk to some people more effectively, and if I travel to Latin American countries should I have a need to. I haven't started the program yet, but probably will tomorrow night. I am looking forward to at least try to learn the language. At least watching soccer and Mexican Wrestling may be a little more enjoyable!!

Monday morning I have a Doctor's appointment. It's nothing major, just a checkup to see how I”m doing with my blood pressure medication, and some other minor things. It's going to be th first time under my new health plan, and hopefully the transition is somewhat smooth (as in I don't get my balls busted over switching to my insurance-if so I just walk since I'm almost ready to look for better doctor anyway.)

Also tomorrow is going to be interesting a work. Apparently later this week the person I usually have working with me comes back, which honestly sucks since I like the new person they have with me now. First he's a guy, and that means he can help me with moving supplies around, and he actually does his job. I will not get into some details, but let's just say that I will be having a talk with the old person that is coming back over her responsabilites (more what she SHOULD have been doing) since last week was eye opening as far as what she DIDN'T do and what she told me she did.

Oh, and as far as my creative needs, I played around with my new camcorder and used it with my Mac for the first time. It's a snap to import the footage and edit it. I just need to get some decent footage to edit together. I was just using some random shots I took around the house and was playing with some effects and transitions Imovie has, and for a “basic' editing software that comes with the computer, you can do a lot with it. It's no Avid or Final Cut program, but for basic editing and some effects, it's really good. Beats the hell out of what windows can do! Oh and as far as the podcast I mentioned, it's still up in th air as far as if I am doing it or not. I'm still figuring out what I can do on it and if it is worth the time. I've thought of using it as an extension of what I write here, but my voice sucks and I would sound nuts talking by myself. And for those who are wondering, it would just be an audio podcast-smaller file to up/download, easier to edit, and looks wouldn't matter. Some suggested I do a video one and model it after the JTF.org guy on NYC public access, but I don't think an Israeli flag and my shaved head would go well....

Man this weekend started off on a sour note. The weather all went to hell quickly and now instead of something a little nice, it's all ice and snow. That's what sucks about tis time of year, it's warm one day and shitty the next. This is the weather that really plays hell on my ankle, and in a job where I am walking all the time is not something that helps arthritis.

Speaking of the weekend, the party I was planning to go to as canceled due to the weather. I'm sort of glad that it was since I hate driving in the weather and where the party was to be held, Clifton, sucks to park in on a good day, this weather would make it a nightmare. So that means my night of St. Pats is going to be a quiet one for me. At least during the afternoon some family is coming over for traditional dinner-corned beef and cabbage...even though the Irish don't have this in Ireland and it's an American thing but that's another story altogether. Since the weather is going to suck I may just stay in Sat night and maybe have a drink or two.

I have no clue why, but lately I've been in a mood to be creative. I haven't really had this feeling in a while. I have to find a way to channel it. I said I was thinking of a podcast, and that is still on the table, but I have to look into it a bit more. Its also a reason why I've been writing here more, guess trying to “feed the need”. I'm also thinking of investing in some books and learn Spanish, something I have been wanting to do for a while. I'm looking into the Rosetta Stone program, it's a little pricey but seeing that the U.S. Gov. uses the program for some of their international employees, I figure it's got to work. To tell you all the truth it actually feels good to have this meed. It breaks up the mundane routine I've been in. Now that I have this need, I hope to use it for something positive.

Good news came today in a couple forms, something I needed with my mindset today. First I get info about a party I was invited to Saturday night in Jersey. I am going just so I can get out and meet some people and just have a good time. Not going to drink too much since I am driving to and from the party and the equation of car with NY plates and north jersey troopers on a day known for drinking isn't a pretty picture. I do feel as if since this is a party and my first time going to their house i should get them a bottle of something, just haven't thought of what to get yet. Another good news was my federal tax refund came in the mail. It's some nice cash, and I have plans for at least part of it, while the rest goes into savings.

Also I have been throwing this around for a bit, but I was thinking of doing one of those podcasts. I have a computer that can do them with no problem, so why not. I don't want to do one alone (I would sound psychotic), and i just want to do one of two people bullshitting for a half hour-an hour, once a week. I have most of the hardware, minus a second USB mic/headset. Again this is all just stuff I was thinking of doing, but if anyone wants to help out or whatever, get a headset and we'll talk about it.

First things first; if those who are worried about what I write here have something to say, come to me and not go running to my cousin to talk to him about it. Thank you.

So lets see, I am right now trying to stay cool over some things that are going on in life. Work is getting hectic and the biggest problem is that a lot of things are up in the air. I'm not so much worrying about it, but it just is something looming over me at my job. It's not something that can threaten my job, but it's more things that can add more stress if it's not handled properly. For those who are oh so concerned about what it is and are still worried about me being a downer, what's going on at my job is that they are expanding to more floors in my building, and I hear that some of the new floors open up at the end of the month. Only thing is that I still haven't' heard anything concrete about any timetables and if they are going to bring in more people to take some of the burden off of me.

So what else.....things otherwise are going well. I really can't complain about much. Only big thing is that the weather is playing hell on my ankle. I have arthritis in it from some things that have happened in the past, and when the weather is unstable (like the weather has been form going warm to cold), it really kicks in. Its not something one should have when their job involves a lot of walking and carrying heavy boxes. I have been working through the pain, and I learned that Icy Hot is awesome at night after work to numb it. I”m also starting to take Glucosamine and Chondroitin since I hear it helps with joints and arthritis. I'm also looking into taking some Ginko Biloba to help with my memory (which is starting to suck), and it also helps with blood pressure from what I hear, and just overall blood circulation-something I could use

That's all I can think of writing...Hope I didn't scare anyone or make anyone worry about me being depressed or anything, but I'm sure you'll run to my cousin to find out because he's the better source of info about me than I am...bur on the bright side it's interesting to know some people actually read this.

Well this weekend I made a a life-altering decision that may have shortened that potential dating pool to more of a puddle. After a lot of thought and choosing how I am going to live my life now from my past post, I came to the decision that I do not want children. I just feel like I wouldn't make a good parent, and that parenting is a commitment and an act of unselfishness that I am not willing or ready to make. Believe me, I realize that this choice has the potential to leave me alone and with no one later in my life, but I cant' see myself having a kid to just have someone in my life. That's a HUGE compromise I do not want to make, much less any compromise in any part of my life.

I can care less what others think, this is how I want to live my life. Deal with it. Maybe I”ll find someone with the same attitude and mindset as I do and live a happy life with them. I rather live alone and know I am living what I feel is right, than compromise an not have what I want, and live in a state of denial and unfulfilled.

Just got my Wii system and Wii Sports is addictive as hell!! I have been paying that since I got the system, and I got Zelda. I plan on playing that sometime this weekend after I get a lot of cleaning done after moving my bedroom around.

Now to what I really wanted to write about. Today I was at work doing my thing, and I was thinking about life and what has happened in it. I came to the realization that what good came out of it is because of one attitude I took into it, and the bad came out of another attitude. At work, I look at it as I am investing my time into doing the work in order to get something out of it (paycheck, benefits, whatever to make me better or happy). If I didn't like the job I had or it was a situation that what I was investing in wasn't coming back to me or it didn't look like it would, I'd simply leave. Seeing that it has been working in work situations, I decided to apply it to all factors of my life. Like in relationships for example; if I am putting in time to get to know someone and she isn't giving back what I am giving in, I am gone and I'll move on to someone who will . I got better things to do than waste my time on someone or wait for someone. This also could work for friendships, relationships with my family or anything in my life. I have no time to waste on others who will not appreciate and give back what I give them. Does this make me more selfish? Probably. Does it make me seem impatient? Possibly. But at the same time, I have a limited time on this planet, why should I waste investing time on something that won't make me happy?

I do have to ask those who are really friends of mine to remind me of this when I am down or unhappy about something. This is a new habit to get into for me, and it means also that i am breaking an old one. As we all know all habits die hard, so I my need help with this.