Just thought I'd post something before I hit the sack.

First, My cousin pointed me to a very interesting show called “Ninja Warrior”. It's a Japanese game show where the contestants have to go through several obstacle courses. The thing is if they don't make it through the first one in a set time, they are eliminated. It's a cult show, where people train all year to compete. It starts out with 100 contestants each season, and in the history of the show (I think it's been around for like 7 years or so), only one person has made it through all 4 stages of the show. I can't put into words as far as details, so if you have the G4 network, check the show out.

I can't stand the show “Entourage”. Maybe it's because it's an LA based show, but I just never got into it.

I watch the “Deadliest Catch”, another favorite show of mine, and I realize I am not a real man. Those psychos are

April 30th would have been my parent's 30th anniversary...just one of the fifty things on my mind

Sunday nights suck, since it was on a Sunday my dad died, and I have a real hard time getting to sleep especially since I was awoken of the sickening thud of my dad falling out of bed that night. What sucks is that I have other thoughts come into my mind that makes Sunday Nights suck. I am trying something that has worked with other negative things in my life. I think the word “stop” over and over when I start thinking of something negative until I stop thinking of that bad/negative thing or things. If that doesn't work, I actually say the word “stop”. If that doesn't work, I scream it out. Sounds dumb?? Try it one day, I bet you will find that it works. See, who knew after reading all my bullshit on this blog you might learn something useful!!!

I wasn't really paying full attention to the Draft this weekend, but I do know Psu alums Levi Brown and Paul Posluszny were drafted. Posluszny I was surprised wasn't taken in the first round and sad the Giants didn't' pick him up (but they did get PSU's Jay Alford)!!! The other PSU players in the draft went to teams most expected to go to> Hunt went to the Eagles I know, and he may do well in that system.

OK, i have no clue what the hell is going on these days. I just had a week where I worked three, 13 hour shifts in a row, I haven't slept much at all the past week, so my mind is mush right now. Then out of the blue I hear people are upset with me over my blog and what is said. SO let me just state something here right now that i told a few people this week.

First, when I write one of these entries, it's done right then and just put up. I don't sit here and re-read it, edit it (outside of spell check), anything. It's what I feel at the moment, and right off the top of my head. Doing it in that way means that sometimes I say things over the line. I take responsibility for what I said, but I do NOT apologize for anything I say here. What I write here I feel is right at the time, and as I said it's how I feel when I pop on Neooffice to write an entry before uploading it to here. I am at a point where I don't care what others think of me and trying to please everyone. I know who I am, and I am happy with that. If anyone doesn't like that, well that's your problem isn't it?!?!?

Also this week I learned that I should never deviate from my gut feeling. I did this a while ago and I just found out in the end it was right. Do I wish I did continue with my feeling, YES. But I learned from it and ready to move forward. Maybe it' too late to change what has happened and re-do my decision, since I feel like my gut is right. But I do know that I now don't have to wonder if my hunch was the right one and be at peace about it. I can't predict the future, but I am just ready for whatever happens, there's no point in fighting a river-you just have to go with where it take you.

One more thing; it's a nice surprise to see people read this, especially people who I never met. Thanks for reading and commenting...whichever way you comment.

Ok, to sorta continue my thoughts from last time. I was thinking of the two phrases I hate the most to hear.

1.“You're a great guy...” That's as far as it gets now before I just walk away or delete the email it is in.. NOTHING good comes after the start of that phrase. I am sure that all those who have read this has heard this phrase in some form or another. It means that you didn't prove yourself to be more than a chump in the other person's eyes and you are forever banished into the “friends zone”. I am at the point where as soon as she starts saying it, I walk away. It's over in my eyes and why should I waste my time in something I am not getting what I want. I am at a point where I don't need many more friends, especially ones where I have had some feelings more than just a friendship. Last time a chick started telling me that, I got up an walked away from her, left my munch and went back to work. When she came running after me all upset that I was upset I told her to piss off and dropped the C-bomb in front a bunch of people in the shopping concourse level of Rockefeller Center. I also found that if you turn the tables, it feels just as good to see the crushed look on her face!!!

2.“I don't think I'm good enough for you...” (or anything like that). Hey, I'll be the judge of that!! Don't ever tell me what's good for me or isn't. If I didn't think you were “worthy” of me, I'd have stopped talking to you a while ago!! Some say I have high standards that women can't meet. I don't think I do. I do have some particulars that I would want in a woman, but I don't think they are anything that most women can't handle.


So these two things that I just mentioned are the two things I hate hearing from women. But I figure those chicks who mentioned these phrases aren't worth my time and those skanks probably got what they deserve.

Just some random thoughts for tonight:

First, I was thinking today about something. I was thinking about how the name Jennifer or any variation of it (Jennie, Jenn, Jenna, etc.) has been VERY bad luck for me!! Usually the women with these names at first seem really great and things go well, but at some point it ends really badly (some who know me really well know the last time I went out with a girl with this name what happened in the end). So if anyone here have some stupid idea of trying to fix me up with someone (Ha!!! that was funny!!), make sure this chick doesn't have the ham Jenn or any version of it....

I read in the paper how all the urban stations in NYC are going to bow to the wishes of the two crooks Sharpton and Jackson and play music without any really offensive material...so in other words the 10 song play-list will now be 2 songs. I doubt this is going to last long and it will be business as usual in two weeks and the double standard will remain.

Also, it was fantastic to hear Mike an the Maddog kick some ass verbally this week. They were good friends with Imus and they really didn't want to be there. They tore MSNBC and CBS a new asshole, saying how gutless they were in firing him. The best part was when they rightfully went after the cowards that turned their backs on Imus after using his show to pimp their wares. If you can get a hold of the first 20 mins of Mondays show somehow, listen to it and hear what they had to say about Tim Russert, it was justified and I wish Imus did it himself

Rangers advanced to the second round, and with what the playoffs look like this year, they may make it to the conference finals but I doubt they could make it any farther. The Mets are looking great this early in the season, but theres a long way to go, and being a Met fan for years, I've seen this happen before only to end in a complete, but fantastic clusterfuck!!!

Old habits die hard, but when they do go away, you feel much better.

Wow what a Sunday. I was cold, wet, and numb, but goddamn it was a fun time. I went to the Redbulls home opener at Giants stadium and it was a blast. I forgot how much fun it is to go to a live game, especially now since more and more people recognize me and are more friendly for some reason to me. Maybe I'm finally getting some respect for the time I've had with the ESC, or they just don't think I'm as big of an asshole. I met some new people and it was just a good time, something I've missed. I haven't felt this good after a game in a long time. Some of the game I would go to, leave and feel really horrible and down for some reason, almost to a point where I questioned why I was even going. For some reason today everything clicked, and hopefully it will continue.

Just wanted to say this before I forget to write it tonight. M voice is shot, but I am just mellow and feeling good right now. Weither or not you care about what I wrote here tonight (or any night) means nothing to me, and some do write back commenting on my stuff (and I appreciate it), and I hope it continues and even more write back to comment on what I write here. I know a bunch of you read this, especially after some go running to my family to make sure I'm not suicidal, so hopefully you'll grow a sack and come to me to tell me if you like what say or if I”m an asshole...not that it makes a difference in my life, but it would be interesting to read/hear

My mind is going a mile a minute. I hope this comes out OK, but I”m just really not in the mood to further think and I just want to purge this out. If I did do a podcast this would probably sound as it reads, but with a lot more cursing. I may just do a quick one to see how it goes and ask for your opinions, I'm still not sure about doing it alone and sound like a madman.

So now free speech is dead, and we have two ambulance chasing whores to thank. Imus was handed to Sharpton and Jackson on a silver platter, and this now sets a dangerous precedent now. Now people an get personalities fired if their feelings are hurt!!! That is not indecent, that's not an offense to gt fired over!!! Imus said something that was wrong, but at the same time, it was said in the context of comedy. Even if Imus said what he said in a serious manner HE HAS A RIGHT TO SAY IT!!!! If you don't like what you hear on a station, change the channel...it's not that hard.

I'm going to write in a list style of my thoughts on certain things:

Sharpton and Jackson:
-20 years as the “leaders” of the black community is too long
-their style of using the civil rights issues of the 60s is antiquated and doesn't apply to today's issues. They have to stop using it as a crutch for their weak arguments, mush like the religious fanatics should stop using the Bible as a crutch for their opinions
-both are “men of the cloth”, yet they divorced their wives and one even knocked up another chick...just another hypocritical fact in a LONG list on these two terrorists and racists
-I still say that Sharpton and Jackson are just bitter that they NEVER could make an impact as King did, and that's why they are so anti-white to make up for their lack of skill

The Rutgers womens team:
-first off, the comment isn't that far off...I've seen Prison teams look prettier
-most of them are not there for “academic” merit....
-doesn't a “Heart felt” reaction come from the top of the head and not a piece of paper most likely prepared by their coach or administration?
-and when you are grandstanding, pick a player that has the readings skills better than a third grader

The media reaction:
-STOP PICKING BLACK PEOPLE OFF THE STREEET TO BE “EXPERTS”
-Stop trying to push your agendas and fall into that “white guilt” and just bend over to the minorities
-Al Roker=Uncle tom that tried to be militant but failed
-Keith Olbermann.....pussy that should have stayed with reading sports scores and leave hard news to the big boys.
-Hannity and Colmes agreed on the subject that Imus shouldn't have been fired...does this mean the world ends soon?
-I hope all the members of the View panel get ovarian cancer...and the blonde skank is only pretty enough to get AT BEST a third string QB
-where were all Imus' friends when he needed them? He was always there for them when they needed a place to talk...what pussies

Don Imus:
-the REAL OG radio jock
-Howard Stern couldn't hold his jock
-I wished the old school Imus came out and he want out swinging
-I hope he does come back on the air, he was a good alternative to listen to in the mornings.

That's all I got right now, my head hurts.

Been a nice week. Got a new dog, a cockapoo (still sounds like a Italian sex act to me). He;s cute, really friendly and he's making my mom really happy. She picked him out (well he picked her after those big eyes locked onto her at the store). I think she's happier now since she has something to take care of and something around her now since I'm working and my sister is at school/internship.

As far as the lynching of Don Imus, God forbid someone make a joke IN THE CONTEXT OF A JOKE and people don't think of it as serious. People have to stop looking at everything for more than what they are. Imus is a COMEDY show, and what he was said in the CONTEXT OF COMEDY. He's done so much for children and minorities, but you won't hear about that!!! You'll hear how every single thing he has said/done in his entire 30+ years in radio is all racist. The apology he was forced to make, which sounded like he had a gun to his head as he read it and if he wasn't on MSNBC, I'd have thought the gun was right at his temple, was just another standard corporate lawyer bullshit he was forced to read. This is the sit that DROVE me to XM, where free speech is really free. Sure I have to pay for it, but then again in most things, you get what you pay for, and free radio is as good as it's price at this point.

Al Sharpton is to Race relations as to Ambulance Chasers are to the law. This scumbag is trying to start a race war, and NO ONE stands up to this jackoff. I know now why he does what he does; He wants in the worse say to be white, and deep down he is an uncle tom. The only thing is he tried that and he failed at it, so now he not only tries to over-compensate, but he found a way to profit (probably illegally through his “Church”) but bilking the poor and stupid in the Black community. The best example is Sharpton's hatred for Obama, who Sharpton called an Uncle Tom because Obama unites people, both White and Black...some Sharpton WISHES he could have done in his career!!! Apparently, Sharpton has a radio show, but NYC wouldn't know since all the stations inn NYC don't want to really carry REAL hate speech on their airwaves.

OK today's entry is a culmination of a long period of issues. I now have a pretty low level of respect for women right now. No it's not going to be a bitch fest here, at least not intended to be. Let's start with tonight as the best example.

I was talking to a woman tonight on IM. This is the second time we chatted, so it's at the “getting to know you” stage. So we start talking, ad she is almost not giving me anything to go with as far as a conversation. So I start ask her questions about different things. I start with what kind of movies she's into. She gives me this “too cool for the room” answer where she only really sees non-mainstream movies. So we start to talk about that a bit, and she's only giving me short sentences, not really expanding on whatever we are talking about. So at this point I'm pulling teeth here to get a dialog going. So I start asking about some other subjects, maybe we can start talking more about something else. Needless to say that sometime IM is not a good place to ask some questions, where my questions didn't translate clearly and I had to deconstruct what i am asking.

So this all isn't going anywhere, and since she seems like one of those people who like deep thoughts, I start asking about some philosophical subjects to not only maybe hit something interesting to talk about, but also get to see how her mind works. Then she gets all “why are you asking me all this, what's with the random questions, you need to chill”. So let me get this straight, I am trying my best to get to know her, but I'm doing all the talking. I”m trying my best to get something going since she is bringing NOTHING to the table but short answers and vague responses, but I am the asshole asking things most people tend to ask when they want to get to know each other, and even try to show a little depth in my thinking and attitude. Fuck her, she' not worth my time.

That brings me to my overall thinking about women right now. I said a while ago my life is now being lived in the idea that what I do now is nothing more than investing my time and energy into things that I feel will get what I want out of it and get in return what I invest. If I don't feel like if I am getting what I feel I deserve out of it, I'm done with it since why should I waste whatever time I put in to get nothing. Life is a limited span of time, why waste it on things that will bring frustration and nothing good to you. When it comes to relationships, I have no problem with ending something that I feel is not healthy or beneficial to me. I had to do that a few times recently, and even though I was looked on as the bad guy, I look at it this way: Women have done that in the past to me, and they tried to make it out like they decided that it was best for us. I tell them the same thing, and if they don't accept that explanation, I just tell them that I don't want to waste my time on her, since I don't feel it's right for me to feel any stress or frustration over this, there's much more bigger things to worry about than some chick that isn't putting in the same amount of time and effort as I am.

I”m not going to tell you here what I want as far as a relationship goes, since I can't put that into words, but I do know that all I ask for in a person is someone that equally puts in the effort that I put in. This is obviously on top of the fact she agrees with my core ideals and wants in a person of the opposite sex. Needless to say it seems that my pool of potential dates/mates seems to be drying up. If it does, oh well I have other things in my life that can keep me busy. Love and relationships are nice, but I really don't need any of it to feel my life is complete.


Ladies, prove me wrong......wait only 3 of you read this, and that's almost half the people who read this in total! (see ther's some comedy in this entry!)

How the hell are you all!!! I'm working my ass off, but that's a good thing I guess. I've been given another floor to worry about, so it's one down about 5 more to go. It' snot that bad, but I have some issue with my co worker right now that I may have to a least try to settle tomorrow. I would have done it sooner, but my bosses said they were going to talk to her today, and after they did, it almost had no affect on her. I also wanted my bosses to talk to her since they are a hell of a lot more diplomatic than I am, and those who know me and how I talk to others know that it's never really a good thing to let m speak....sure I will get eh point across, but it's not the most friendly way.

Other things going on in my life are going ok. I am slowly learning Spanish, but I really can't devote a lot of time lately to do it. I come home from work so tired I just what to eat and rest. I am trying to get some time in during the morning, but it seems work always monopolize my time-either having to go in early or communicate with people about something going on. Damn I'm tired. I'd love to take a day off form work, but the people in my department are stretched as it is, I really can't put the burden on someone else. I”m hoping once the rest of the floors are done, maybe I can get a day off.

The Mets started off well last night. They are undefeated baby!!! People like to say that the Mets did have a shaky spring, but that's a worthless thing to gauge a team. I barely pay attention to any preseason of any team. The only news I pay attention is injuries, and as long as that is a low amount of news, the preseason is going well.

This is where I bitch about something else about my life, but I will not...no real point right no and not in the mood to vent...

and oh yeah...Nintendo wii's Mii code: 6113 9271 9786 3479 Add me and send me yours...my mii is lonely