A couple thoughts:

I have need looking around Youtube lately at some of the crap that is on there. I'm convinced I could make some better videos that would be a tad more funny, at least to me. So heres a couple ideas I came up with. In my defense I am sleep deprived and overworked, but I still think these are pretty entertaining:

1.Video starts with a shot of a guy chest up but moving to give the illusion of jacking it. After a couple seconds of seeing that creep enjoying himself (well getting the idea that is happening form his facial expressions), the camera moves to show the back of the guy with his pants down and he is watching the video. The gag is he is either watching “Roots”, old civil rights footage, or something horrible like that.
2.Video starts with a view of a guy driving a car, shot from the passenger seat. Suddenly the guy with the camera shoots pepper spray into the driver's eyes and then videotapes the reaction of the driver.
3.My final idea is a montage of clips of a guy sitting in the park, and whenever a woman walks by her, he runs up to her, points, and screams something horrible to her (think of all those wonderful words guys usually would use to describe a woman). This would e done to women of various ages, but the gag is to try to get really old or young women, even babies in strollers.

Like I said if you think these suck, this is what I have thought of to keep my sanity at my job. which has been one shitstorm after another.

Now, I also noticed that my mom got a best of John Denver CD, but when I first saw the cover, I thought it was Barbra Streisand (however the hell her last name is spelt). My mom is a fan of the man who wrote “Rocky Mountain high”, but his last plane ride apparently wasn't as high. I really can't hate the man, he did save rock music in the 80s during that congressional hearing about decency in music. After Zappa and the other rock stars that went there to address the hearing, Denver came in and somehow changed the tide. Rock almost got its ass kicked, despite the fact that every artist that went up on the stand held their own and pissed the congressmen off showing they were smart. After all this Denver shows up, says his thing, and shut everything up. Sure that sticker was made mandatory for albums with questionable content, but in the end that sticker led to INCREASED album sales...so who got the last laugh? and it's in part to John fucking Denver!!!!

Some think I should write a book and share my knowledge and take on life to others....Seriously after reading this last entry, who would pay for this shit!?!?!!?

Hope all that read this had a happy thanksgiving. Mine was quiet but nice. It was a little different since I didn't dwell on the negatives and just let things go as it went. Later that night or the next day (I don't remember exactly), I got a message from someone I wrote to give a few words of encouragement to, since his wife mentioned what was going on in their lives. It was one of the few times I have written to him, I usually talk to his chick. Well after saying what I said, he responded with some nice words and that made me feel good. Personally I didn't think what I wrote was all that empowering or profound, but I guess it does make a difference. I also realize that some of the ramblings I do write/say here and to people do make some form of a reaction. In fact I have an email from someone that I read everyday actually, partly so I don't do what I did to make this person feel as angry as they did when the email was written-the rage I felt from it really got my attention, but also just to remind me that whatever I do or say can affect others. This guy who wrote to me the other day actually said I should write a book with my knowledge. I doubt it would really work though. First all it would be is just borderline drunken ramblings that I would probably admit to some sort of crime I could be brought up on charges for, or it would somehow be looked at as some manifesto for others to follow, and do you REALLY want more assholes like me around??? Sure I can be nice and all that, but those who know me closely understand why having more than one of me would be a BAD idea.

I did buy something over this weekend, a new shredder. I got one since the one in the house only does straight strips, which I don't feel totally comfortable, and I just like the convenience of having one under my computer right at my feet. So like a kid with a new toy, I went through all my paper work this week and shredded what I didn't need. After finishing up with that, I was looking for more to shred. It's something with people they get something new to play with, they have to get as much satisfaction as they can from their new toy. I really am a jackass.

Just wanted to write what I am thankful since it is the season to do that. it's sorta out of order, probably repeated a few times, but whatever, this was written off the top of my head and was written over the course of the night. Sure there are plenty of things I probably forgot to add on here, but I am grateful and thankful for all of the things in my life. I am probably not going to write something on here the rest of the week/weekend. So Happy Thanksgiving to those I don't get a chance to talk to any of you.


things I am thankful for:
my health, my mom, my sister, my job, my cousin and his wife for letting me crash at their place many a drunken night, people that have helped me with advice to some of the mundane bullshit i've complained about, the people who have taken time out to get to know me, a working computer (Apple rules), my mind for wanting more knowledge, Xm radio for entertaining me many days when the shit hits the fan, the idea that all that has happened in my life, either good or bad, has happened for a reason, medical insurance that has helped me get my blood pressure in some form of control, people who have had patience with me after all the times I've screwed up, the people I hang out with on various friday nights, the honest people in the world, my dog for giving me hours of laughs and helping me smile when I needed it, HDTV-makes sports and my video games look fantastic, people I know in Philly and Northern California that know an insane amount of me despite never meeting me in person, a lil person in Jersey that has a grin that is quite evil looking-i am glad to have gotten a another opportunity to talk and see you again and I hope so far is a beginning to something good, soccer in the area despite the fact it's ran in a really shitty way, the ESC for being one cool group of guys to hang out with and giving me something to do on weekends, the simple fact i can see and walk thanks to modern medicine and technology, the companies of Microsoft and Nintendo for making some sweet gaming systems, The people who came up with the following shows-”Shark” “It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia” “Dirty Jobs” “Mythbusters” “Rescue Me” The Shield” “The Ultimate Fighter” “Pardon The Interruption” “Outside the Lines” “The Sports Reporters” “Countdown with Keith Olbermann”, the hours of entertainment the “Opie and Anthony” and “Ron and Fez” shows has given me,

and most importantly, I am thankful for all that rad this. I'm surprised how many people read this and actually get something out of it. What also surprises me is the amount of people that don't even know me or just stumbled on this and still read it. Thank you all

OK this entry may be a little too “inside' for some, but oh well. Also it feels damn good to have anger for something, gives me an excuse to get other frustrations out as well...call it venting by proxy. I do hope that this is angry enough for those who I hear through some people hat enjoy me posting angry rants, but then again I'm glad I got a few people who read this-guess that's something to be thankful for in this time of giving thanks. I would like to add that if you are going to post here. Have a set and put you damn name/nickname on your comment, Thank you.


I intended to watch the MLS Cup finals o ABC this afternoon. I turned on the program at noon, and turned it off at 12:20. I can't believe how half-assed MLS lets ABC handle the only MLS game that is broadcasted on national television each year. I turn on the pre-game show, and the first people I see on it is Rob Stone and Julie Foudy. Rob Stone has been soccer AIDS in the US and on ESPN for almost 10 years now. He started as a host of a few soccer highlight shows on ESPN, and his presence on ESPN is best described as that jerkoff , “wacky stuntguy” that can usually be found on some dogshit local morning program before the national morning show hits the air. The only way I can figure he has gotten and kept his job, is that some producer at ESPN got one hell of a hummer from Stone.

His partner on TV is Julie Foudy, the former US woman's soccer player. Naturally, the first person I would hire to talk about a men's event is a woman that should just stand on the desk and bend over since most of what she says comes directly out of her ass. This is the woman that talked an entire woman's soccer league into obscurity, saying that they have no use for MLS's help, and that MLS will be riding the woman's coat tails. Gee, where is MLS now and where is the WUSA, Julie? The only hope I have for this mouthy bitch is that at some point whatever man has the unfortunate role of boyfriend/husband with her someday decided enough is enough of her mouthyness, and puts her in her place.

Now, I would like to say I don't approve of violence against women 99 percent of the time, but there is that one percent when a man has every right to slam some chick in the skull with their fist or blunt object (self-defense is probably the only justification). Granted all women have driven to men to the point where balling a fist and throwing it at her direction has happened, just that 90 percent of men choose not to do that because they know doing so can lead to various consequences, not to mention that the guy probably cares about the woman so much as to not want actual harm done to her. the 10 percent that is different are most likely animals and probably should be locked up.

Now back to my irritation about today. They throw the show to the people who will be calling the game itself. The two men (well one man, one whiny little bitch of a broken-down has been of a player) are Dave O'Brien and Eric Wynalda. O'Brien has been a recent addition to all of ESPN's broadcasts of US national team games and MLS games. He has no real background with soccer, but I have to say he's not that bad and I think once he gets more knowledge of the sport he can do well. Wynalda though, is the original American Pussy when it comes to players going to Europe with a huge head, and getting bitch-slapped to reality that they ain't shit in the world of soccer. he hasn't gotten over that, and thought he was a star in MLS when it started, but he quickly faded away into obscurity in US soccer history (he only has his job as an announcer to hold onto any relevance). He's tried to get attention saying he wanted to fight Journalist Jim Rome, and a joke the other week seeing fans' with flares, saying it looked like Souther California, but like the bitch he is, he tucked his tail between his legs and apologized and begged for forgiveness.

Another side note: Fuck Landon Donovan, American Pussy 2.0. Just had to add that and will write my rage and hatred for that asshole another day.

Anyway, after seeing who would be calling the game and who is handled everything else in the program, I just turned it off and went out for a drive. I could have simply put the game on mute, but I like sound with what I am watching. Also I chose not to watch the game since it would have enraged me more seeing two teams ran the “right” way that isn't mine (I did write about that a week or so ago, so read that if you want.) I have no clue who won the game, and don't care. It pisses me off that ESPN can put on a great presentation with all the soccer announcers they have that do the UEFA Champions League games, especially former Metrostars analyst Tommy Smyth-best announcer they ever had. But ESPN is lazy, and MLS for some reason won't fight for a better quality presentation of their product.

I will say this after seeing all the sports I have watched this weekend. The closest thing the US has to a European soccer atmosphere can be found at any college football game. The colors, the energy, the passion is the same at a college football game as it is at any European soccer match. the Pro sports here can't match it, since Pro sports want a stale crowd, like at most NFL games. The Jets here try by having that one chant, but it's lead by a fireman with Down Syndrome, so that doesn't count. I defy you to watch any game form Europe and tell me any pro sports teams crowd in the US can match the intensity and passion a stadium of soccer supporters in Europe have. You want passion, you want a better quality experience, you want legit hatred between sets of fans, watch college football (maybe college basketball as well, but I can give a rats ass about the sport).

I just looked at the calendar and I have about a week to renew my season tickets for Red Bull NY. I've been figuring out if I was going to this year, since this team seems more and more like a rudderless ship. For God's sake, they fired the most successful coach in US history, because in less than a year he didn't get the team into the championship. There are other issues I have with the team, like their half-assed work at getting their new stadium completed, which has seen the timetable moved back so far that it looks like the stadium is planned to open by 2010 now, which is at least 3 years later than the original plan (out it this way, I got season tickets renewed a couple years ago to reserve my seat in the stadium when it as to open this season). It just seems like the owners are in a conflict with their mentality: one is to expand the brand of the drink, so they spend a ton of money on a lot of flash and no real concrete things a team needs, but at the same time they think that throwing a bunch of players together will lead to success. It's just a weird thing to put money into something that has no point or any clear direction for the future. I did choose to renew, because as bad as the team is, it's better than having no team at all. Also, I've been a supporter of this team since it's inception, and that gives me a feeling like I am a part of something that is organic in a way. I was around for it's birth, and I continue to get some level of enjoyment out of going to games each season. Even when the team sucked I found enjoyment in hanging out in Section 101 and just blowing off some steam from the week. The team itself hasn't done anything to me as a fan that would make me turn around and leave. So yeah I will be renewing my tickets, plus it means my mom has one less Christmas gift to worry about now!

Some have questioned me when it comes to my loyalties and how much faith I put on people and other things. See, My thought is that if one believes in something or someone, they should be able to put all their faith and their loyalty and trust behind it to show that you believe in them or whatever it is. I mean, people like to say they believe in something, or they are so loyal to someone or some idea, so they shouldn't half-ass it and put their “money where their mouth is.” Some may call me a sucker, a fool, or whatever for putting my heart and loyalty behind some of the things that I do in my life, but I know what I want in the end, and if I believe in something that I want, I'm doing to make damn sure I am totally behind it.

On the other hand, my loyalty isn't something I just give away. If I am putting it behind something and it is either taken advantage of, or there's a serious breach of the trust I have invested and put behind, as warm and caring I can be, that all goes away and the cold, asshole that I am also known to be comes out. Trust me, as fast as I have helped and supported people or things, i've just as quickly turned my back and acted like they are dead to me. I've done that a lot in my life, some of it was justified, some wasn't since I didn't know all the facts, but the bottom line is that one's faith, trust and loyalty shouldn't be taken lightly, and if someone does take it lightly-either their own or someone else's-they really really aren't people I want around.

This is a lesson I had to learn the hard way, and I have gotten a couple second chances to put my faith and loyalty into things I want to succeed, which I have and so far so good. Now if I can get this patience thing down I'll be in good shape!!!

One of the few things I've been finding real pleasure in lately is listening to podcasts. I've been getting a bunch of them for my ipod, and they are really cool to get news, info, or a simple laugh. Some of the ones I am subscribed to and get on a regular basis are;

“Patrice Oneal show-Coming soon”-funny, raw video podcast but the comedian. Lots of profanity, and some really rough subject manner, but probably one of the funniest things I make a point to watch now.

“Mac|Life”-the magazines official podcast and a good source of Mac news

“Smodcast”-done by Kevin Smith and Scott Moser (of “clerks” and “Mallrats” fame) just about random stuff. It's a pretty cool geeky thing, but there's a level of intelligence to it that makes it cool to listen to.

I have a few others that aren't really updated, but if you want something o listen/watch on the way to work or for a interesting way to get info, check out podcasts. Itunes have a ton of them and they are free to subscribe to.

Speaking of podcasts, I've said I was throwing around the idea of making one just for shits and giggles. Still not totally against the idea, but it would just be me rambling on for a while about inane things....so it'd be like this blog but in audio. The only way I would even do it is if I can find someone I can converse with for 15-60 mins (doing it by myself would be creepy-if you ever heard my voice, you'd understand that I could potentially lead to some putting a noose around their necks or a gun in their mouths) about whatever, make it somehow funny, and would be willing to do it once a week.. then there's the whole minor thing of actually doing it on my computer(could record a Im audio chat as one way of doing it), and figuring out where/how to host it and set up the RSS feed.

I am going to write something about a book I just finished reading last night. It's one of those books that hit me hard after I read it, and I am not ashamed to admit it, almost made me cry. The book is “The Five People You Meet In Heaven” written by Mitch Albom.

The book is about an old man that is at a point in his life where nothing matters and he thinks what he does means nothing in this world. At the beginning of the book, he dies in an accident at work, and he goes to heaven. Throughout the book, he meets five different people from his lifetime, some he knew and some he didn't know directly. he meets each person one at a time, and they tell him how his life affected their in some form or another, and they were there to teach the man a lesson. Once the man learns what he is supposed to learn, the person disappears and the next person arrives. I”m trying to stay generic, as not to totally give away the details of the book. The whole idea of the book is to say that one's life isn't a total waste, and that what we do in our lives affects others whether or not you know that. It also shows that whatever happens in your life, either good or bad, isn't random and that there's a reason for everything that happens.

After I read this book, I felt a tear well up, and after taking a moment, I emailed the person who recommended the book to me to say thank you. Then I laid in bed thinking about my life and what happened in my life and why things happen. I didn't sleep much last night thinking about all this, and I came to the conclusion that a lot of the bad things that happened in my life by other people were done either to try to protect me or done because that's what the other person thought was the right thing to do. As soon as I got up today, I wrote a bunch of emails to people telling them what I just realized and told them I knew now why they did what they did to me, and that I don't hold anything they did against them. One of these messages was probably one of the most beautiful and emotional emails I ever wrote, and I feel so damn good for doing all this.

A lot of this world makes sense now, and I feel at much more peaceful now. And I have a book to thank for it, and it ain't the Bible.

I am going to write about something that is near and dear to my heart. I can care less if you like it or not, but I at least hope you can relate to it on some level.

I am sitting here watching Fox Soccer Channel, and they have the MLS Wester conference final on. I'm watching it and I am angry. Not at either team, just how shitty Red Bull New York?Metrostars have shat the bed over and over again in their entire history.

I have supported the Metros since they started in 96. Since then I believe that the team has gone through the most number of players on their roster. See, whoever that has ran the team (first Metromedia, then Anshultz Entertainment Group, and now Red Bull) has had this “win now” attitude. This is a common attitude/problem with most teams in the NY area. The thing about this attitude is that most of the time it doesn't work. Wholesale changes causes instability and pressure on players that will lead them to not play their best, or try too hard and come off as a bad player. I am looking at the two teams playing now, Kansas City and Houston, and I can name at least 6 players on the field, and probably two or three others on the benches that Metro/Red Bull has had on their roster at some point. Most of these players were here and didn't' play too well, or the team had the “bet the farm” attitude on one player and sent several young players to either team (and all the other teams in the league-I think at least one player on each roster has played for Metro/RB) to make cap room or satisfy a trade for one player that in the end was a complete failure.

Its this instability that is killing the team. Look at the New England team that won the Easter Conference. Their roster has been on the team for several years, and the chemistry that developed form the consistency of the roster has led to the team being the best in the league. You never hear them having a fire sale just to get one player that is perceived to be better because he plays in a foreign league. This crap doesn't affect the team on the field, but also in the stands. Look at any MLS game that is not played in NY, and you'll see an awesome atmosphere. This is from the building the team the “right way”, a d having a group of good players that work together, and not a bunch of overpaid old has-beens that want the ball and the attention who were brought in to pander to the local ethnic group in the area.

Why do I still support this team? Its the only professional tam in the area and that's better than nothing. It's almost like the “battered wife” syndrome, where she stays with the guy who breaks her heart and beats her up emotionally. But at the same time she feels like this is the only guy she can get and that's better than nothing. SO I will continue to go to RBNY games, but it is getting to the point where I am getting worn out of paying several hundred dollars for something that I am not getting the satisfaction I used to get from them in the beginning, and they don't care about that.

Walking home from work today made me think about a couple things. First, I live in a city of 8 million people, and in adding the surrounding suburbs it's probably a total of about 10-12 million people total. The state of NY has about 19-20 million people total. So you see a lot of taxpayer money that runs the state comes form this area. Now the City and MTA would like some of that money put back into the mass transit system, not only to make sure the system is running properly, but also to help move forward the “green” program the City wants to start in order to improve the environment and air quality. Now the only issue is that the State won't give back money to the people who the state depends on to run the state. In other words, the State prefers to piss their money away on other non-infrastructure programs to appease some hayseed and rube in East Bumfuck, NY rather than help keep the cash cow in the southeast of the state. The most insulting part of the problem is the glorified boy scout, who is only in the office since he was the only guy who really ran for the office, is always preaching about fairness, but he has done nothing to ensure the City gets it's fair share.

Another thing is not as serious or groundbreaking, but what is up with the Latin chicks? it seems they are either some of the most beautiful chicks in the world, or are 4 foot tall trolls, with almost no in-between. I live in an area of the city full of both, and sometimes I enjoy my walks along Roosevelt Avenue, sometimes it's not so nice. I also do notice latin chicks are quite the fertile bunch. Can't really dispute that the Hispanic community is growing so quickly and will in the not too distant future they will be a real big player in the US, much more than they are now. Should prove to be some interesting times not to long for now.

Also after reading the sports section the past several days, I still think an team dumb enough to sign A-Rod is telling their fanbase “ Hay, we feel like pissing away tens of millions of dollars while throwing away any hope of a title. Sure we may look good in the regular season, but when it counts we will just crash and burn. Don't worry in 7 years after the albatross is gone, we'll kick ass.” I still say if the Mets do sign the assclown, they will not have me as a fan anymore, that's how much I HATE A-Rod.

OK just thought I would put my first impressions of Leopard, Apple's update to their operating system. I put it on my computer with no problem, just I can't check my email with the default Mail application due to the fact that MSN is web based and you can't check it on anything other than the website or Outlook, which isn't available on Mac really. No worries I'll just check it in the web. I like the spaces feature, which in essence it will set up multiple desktops, so you can put one for internet stuff, one for word processing/work, one for media stuff, and whatever you want to do. It just clears up your screen of crap, and almost makes you have several monitors to move stuff around. You can easily switch from one to another, and move stuff from one virtual desktop to another with ease. Right now I am using Time machine, a backup program that comes with the operating system, and it's in the process of backing up my hard drive. I”m still putzing around with some of the features, but so far it's money well spent. I am finally using the calendar program that is always with all Apple OS programs, so maybe my life is going to be organized.

yeah I did waste your time....that's your problem since you were dumb enough to read this!!!

some random things (by the way, I”m doing much better since my last entry, helps when work is kicking your ass to keep you from dwelling on shit).

-Tomorrow I splurge on the new Mac OS X Operating system Leopard. I saw the demo video on Apple's site, and I have got to have it. It's got some sweet features I will find useful (look at the video or the site for it and look at “spaces” and “time machine-you WISH Windows would have it...wait they will after they steal those programs for their newer over prices, buggy POS).

-Ever see the Ipod touch commercial? It's got that addictive song in it. Well thanks to Digg.com, I found out the name of the song, and thanks to Itunes (which is like crack sometimes-like today for me) I now own the song. It's titled “Music is my Hot Hot Sex” by CSS. Itunes makes it too damn easy to blow money on music. While I was on there, I finally got around to getting “I'm Shipping of to Boston” by the Dropkick Murphys (another song stuck in my head for a while). Also earlier last week I got the new Skindred Album “Roots Rock Riot”. It's a really good album if you are into the band, which is a rock/reggae hybrid (funny fact, the band is from the hotbed of reggae, Wales). Thank God podcasts are free, I subscribed to at least 6 of them, and also thank God I got a huge Ipod hard drive!!!

-as I always say ladies: skirt plus boots equals sexy to me. Bonus a nice sweater showing off you assets.

-A-rod is going to talk to the Mets. Now if the Mets are dumb enough to sign the Championship repellant and locker room cancer, I may have to seriously consider emigrating full time to the Red Sox nation (I always did like them-any team that hates the Yankees as much as the Mets is ok with me). Guess that line made some people look at this a little differently!!!

-best line from Opie and Anthony today by Jimmy Norton talking about former MLB pitcher Jim Abbot today: “...let's see how you fast you are you no patty-cake playing muthafucker” (he started his rant about hitting line drives to him to see if he can get his glove on his good hand fast enough to catch it).

I hate this time of year. The time/weather changes really mess my body and head up. Every time this time of year comes I tend to get depressed and just feel like crap and miserable. This weekend I have been in such a mood, even though Friday night I had a good time celebrating my cousins' wife's birthday. It was nice not being totally snotted, mostly because I was honestly more hungry than in the mood to drink (I didn't eat anything since lunch that day). I could also say my bad mood could be attributed to the Red Bulls losing and their season ending, but to be honest as much as it does suck, it doesn't really affect me. I am glad I didn't go to the game last night in Foxboro, I know I would have came back deathly sick and in an even worse mood.

I'm not sure if it's just the time of year that's really affecting me. It seems a lot of different things in my life has a different vibe, and it seems more tension and stress around those things in life. I don't know, it seems I have lost a lot of passion for a lot of things in my life. It scares me, since it seem like this loss of passion is not the “things change in life, and some thing come and go”-type. I don't know if it's also the “too much pulling me in different directions” scenario, but I think I really need to take a step back and see what I want and need to keep in my life, and what I should really consider getting rid of. It's something that sorta bothers me, since I always thought that what I do/have in my life makes me “me”, but at the same time I think there are things that need to change to make things better.