This is what I wrote in response to an entire thread dedicated to me and this blog. Check it out at

http://www.soccerpubs.com/boards/index.php?showtopic=26826&st=0


wow any attention is good attention. Solves the mystery if those read what I write. I wasn't going to even respond to this, but since it was brought to my attention and apparently nothing else is going on in this world that my blog is such a high priority in some people's lives here, I thought I would.

"Hate blog" is really comical to me. I don't know why but it just does. Let me ask you this: if i was so hateful and racist, why would I have bought a scarf, and always bring to games, that says "FANS AGAINST RACISM"? Why would I hang out and volunteer to help with the ESC, that last I saw is a pretty damn diverse group of individuals if I had all this hatred, and if this hatred was so prominent, wouldn't I have been kicked out for said "problems" as one put? If I had all these issues, Would Dan have let me write for MF.com at one point, something I was thinking of starting up again, you know contributing to this site that many of you just take for granted. And as fatcat said, Would I have let him tat me up if I was a racist and hated others that weren't white? And not only that, I've been plugging the hell out of his shop to anyone thinking of getting a tattoo due to the excellent job he did trying to get the guy as much business as I can for him. Besides, if Fatcat didnt like what I said, he had every right to refuse giving me service, or tell his co worker, an ex-Isreali army dude BTW, about my "problems" and I probably wouldn't have made out the door of his parlor.

Look, call me whatever you want, it's your fucking choice, I've been called worse. What I write is what my opinion, and I try to show how FUCKING ABSURD shit is in this world and in mine. It's not my job to guide people through everything I say or write by the hand to explain what's humor and what's not. I could go through and put stupid shit like [funny part coming] [/funny part coming] but I quite frankly don't have the time to deal with you people, the truly ignorant and hypocrites. Those who claim to believe in free speech, but only if it fits your agenda. Those who take things at face value, and not ever try to think in the sense of CONTEXT-maybe I'm trying to make a fucking joke and make whoever reading my writing chuckle or think about about a subject in a different light, maybe making someone see how stupid some of the things in this world is just that, stupid.

Maybe I'm a tad harsh with how I say things-BOO FUCKING HOO. This world is a harsh place, no matter how many of you try to force everyone to "fall in line" and just include everyone and hold hands and dance in the meadow, it will never happen. Someone is going to not like someone else, no matter if it's legit or just ignorant, that's how life is. I'm not speaking out of hatred, I am speaking out of another H-word, Honesty. What I say is as honest as I can possibly be with what I see around me. I make no apologies for doing so, and why should I if I feel what I am saying/writing is the my truly honest opinion?

I NEVER have sat at my laptop thinking "Oh, I may hurt someone's feelings with what I write." I honestly give two shits about what others think. Those who get it will, those who don't get it don't. I only have a limited time on this planet (as everyone does), why should I be so concerned about other's feelings when I have and feel like I have something to say?

If you like what I write, good for you. I hope you can keep reading it and at the very least respect my opinion. If you don't like it, then STOP FUCKING READING. Use YOUR right as an American and chose not to read my views. So I ask you, why are you even bothering? Do you get off thinking that you have some moral outrage you can ride the coattails of and fan the flames of to get a little more "rep" on this board or in the group? Maybe think it's an opportunity to push whatever agenda you are behind, and try to make me somehow the face of what you are crusading against? Please, All you are showing is that you are no more of an attention whore than me, but the difference is that I don't bullshit others with a false front of "outrage" about whatever the hell I write. Trust me, if you are so outraged with what people say or do, why haven't you asked the ESC to kick out these people, and there are some in the group that have said even dumber shit than I have

Maybe you people haven't noticed, but many of my entries are about myself, and how I have been trying to cope with various things that have gone on in my life, some serious things, some petty things, but things nonetheless. Maybe you haven't seen that no matter whatever the fuck you can say about me, I've probably said even worse about myself, because throughout all my life, I've been the most brutal critic of myself, so no matter what "label" you put on me (which is ironic since I thought all you who want everyone included would be AGAINST labels of race, gender, creed, or other-yet another hypocritical aspect of your agenda), trust me I've probably said worse of myself.

Ok enough of my time on you people, I know that what i say rubs people the wrong way, so what. I know that I could be kicked out of a lot of things because of what I said, oh well. At the end of the day, I can say I am honest about myself and how I feel. How many of YOU can truly say that about yourselves?

So, I'm sure this will go on for a bit, as you all hide behind your screen names, since you all will be tough here, why not in 16a? i"ll be there, if you feel SO passionate about what you claim here, come up and talk. I am not hard to find. Otherwise, Find something else to be outraged about, one blog on the internet isn't something to get so outraged over when there are MUCH bigger issues in this world-but that would require you to do some work to deal with those bigger issues, wouldn't it?

I spent Sunday finishing up preparing to give my car to charity. It gets picked up tomorrow. I took the plates off, the registration, and whatever stuff that was left in the car. Sort of sad occasion, but this has to be done. Hopefully I”ll soon be able to save up for a new car. I plan on taking whatever money I get back from the insurance company, and if I get any from my taxes return, and putting it to another car. Luckily I don't have any MAJOR expenses to deal with the next several months, so I should be able to save up some ok cash. I”ll wait for a bit to see what I can do as far as making this money grow in some form. So in short I think this pic should best show where I will be tomorrow:



Next week starts the Red Bulls season at home. I can't wait to have something fun to do on a weekend again. Big tailgating think going on all day, and then the game as I sit in the ESC section of 101. Here's an idea as to what I enjoy and where I sit in the stadium:








BTW my MLS fantasy league team, Lion's Den FC, #3 after week 1!!!

I'm pissed off to see that a Dutch lawmaker folded like a cheap suit and took down a video he made attacking Islam and the savages that follow and use it as justification for the brutality they do. It wasn't long ago these animals got their robes in a bunch after some cartoons making fun of their religion were published. Fuck you and your savage interpretation of a religion. I”m sure you pissed yourselves whenever a Catholic kid-touching joke was made. I”m so sick that the Catholics can get their balls broken over and over, yet every other religion is untouchable and considered a message of hate. Say something about the Jews and you have the JDL up your ass. By the way, the Jews follow a religion-THEY ARE NOT A RACE!!! Anything bad happening to them is NOT racial!!! I can choose to be Jewish, I can't choose to be black. The Muslims....are all a bunch of dickless, insecure jackoffs that can't take a fucking joke. It amazes me how this world gives them this wide birth when it comes to their actions, from having a stranglehold on the oil supply, to whenever they are upset or throw a temper tantrum, we all are supposed to bend over backwards to appease them, rather than smack them in the mouth and tell them to cut the shit out. It's so aggravating that no one can take a joke, and these animals get a free pass to be pissy little bitches when someone tries to show that they have some ridiculous people who follow their religion and that their religion is no better than anything else.

On a totally different note. I watched the WWE hall of fame ceremony tonight while switching between the MLS game on Hdnet (and it was great to see Landon “Pussy” Donovan and David Beckham eat their balls in getting their asses kicked tonight), and I think I found someone to vote for this election. Ric Flair for President!!!! The man can work a mic and get a crowd on his side, and unlike the Democrats that have this country polarized, this entire country is “Flair country”. Plus it would be nice to see the four Horsemen in the cabinet. Also seeing and hearing the Rock tonight, he'd make a good Secretary of State.

It's Friday night, and I”m home. I'm too damn tired to go out even if I had any plans. So instead of going out, I'm here drinking, playing Xbox, and watching TV. This weekend should be interesting. Lots of soccer on, between the usual European leagues, MLS starts up this weekend. RBNY isn't playing, but everyone else is. Fox Soccer Channel is showing I think several games tomorrow. I'm going to check them out, even though a couple of the teams are ones I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire, but still it's soccer in the US. Something over a decade ago wasn't even present. RBNY starts their season next weekend, and I can't wait for it.

Other than that, this weekend is sort of a cleaning weekend. going to clean out some stuff I don't need and try to minimize the amount of crap I have. I also have to get my car for being donated. All I have to do is Sunday is take off the registration and plates, and it's good to go Monday when it's scheduled to be picked up. I'm over the whole “it's my dad's old car, I shouldn't get rid of it”, and right now I'm just focused on trying to find ways to save money to get another car.

That's something I've been trying to do recently. I've been doing some exercises I learned to try to boost my self-esteem and help make me focus on succeeding rather than just sitting here on my fat ass stagnant. So far the exercises I am doing is helping, but it's still baby steps. A lot of what I have to change is more breaking of habits than anything, but it's something i need to do. I'll let you in on one thing I am doing. I wrote down 10 positive things about myself, five that I know, and five things I can do, but need to work on. read them over and over in the morning when I first get up, and throughout the day I read them a few times. The idea is that if I keep these things in mind, then over time, they will stick in the back of my mind. I got this idea from a book I've read in the past, and thought I would try it. I also know this works from my senior year in high school, but never thought to try this since. Any Stanners who read this should remember the envelope you got from the senior Encounter of various notes from various friends and family-sort of the same idea, but it's yourself reminding you of your positives rather than friends/family. I actually found my envelope and read it the other night, damn near made me tear up.

Side note-when I found this envelope, I found another one I made of correspondences that I had with someone; old emails and messages that made me feel good that someone out there gave a damn about me in the time i questioned it. this wasn't a positive experience, since reading all this made me absolutely enraged at this person over how things really ended up being, and myself for being the spineless sucker for falling for all this. It made me so angry I wished I never met this person, something I never felt about anyone before. In the end I learned something and the anger and rage I felt did in an odd way bring me closure, so it's all good now.

In doing all this, I have remembered something that I used in life that I should start doing again. It's a rule a boss at an old job showed me, and it can be used for any aspect of life, professional or personal. it's pretty simple. When you do any form of communication with anyone, like you call a chick you met, or you are calling a potential candidate for a job (which is how I learned the rule), if you have to leave a voicemail or the other person said that they will call later or call them later, Give them three days after the day you first tried to make contact. What I mean is if you tried to call/email/Im someone on a Monday, they have until Thursday to respond. If there is no response, call again and then wait another two days. if still no response, don't try any more contact. After this, they don't deserve the time of day from you, let alone another attempt at contact. Now after all this they contact you, I personally really scrutinize whatever reason they give why they haven't gotten back to you. most times I don't bother with them after this conversation, since in reality they couldn't make any time for me a couple days ago and now contacting me on their leisure, that to me is a form of disrespect. I can give two examples of how this worked for me: one personal and one professional.

The professional example was this. my boss told me to call a candidate he wanted for a position he had open in another part of the company (I was doing various office crap-typical temp job). So I call the guy and get his voicemail. I leave a message saying that I was, what company I was from, and why I was calling. I asked him to please respond as soon as possible. I tell my boss this, and he said call back in three days if you don't hear anything. So I wait the three days, and call again. I get his voicemail again and say the same thing I did the first time. My boss says let him know in a couple days if anything comes up. Couple days pass, and nothing. My boss just simply said “Oh well, here's my second choice. I have no time to wait for those who have no respect to call back to give an answer one way or another.”

Now for my personal example: I was talking to this chick for a week or so about a year ago, things were going well and it was all good. We choose the next weekend we'll meet up over the weekend for coffee or something. I say cool. A couple days later I call her up (this is on a Tuesday) I get her voicemail. I figure she's busy and I leave a message saying hi and call me. A few days later pass, and on Friday I call her again and no answer. I leave her a massage to let me know when she wants to meet up for coffee, and figure she'd call me back. After all, she suggested we meet up. the weekend passes, no answer, and her number is deleted from my phone. She called me back, I didn't pick up since why should I if she wouldn't for me. She left a message to say sorry she forgot about meeting up, and asked me to call her back. Well, that was the last time I heard from her, I have no respect for those who claim to forget about something THEY suggested, and don't have a balls to at least admit they didn't want to meet up.

SO that's what was on my mind tonight. hope someone got something out of this. I shouldn't really share all f this knowledge, I could write a book of all this and make a mint. It would put my gifts of writing, entertaining others, and somehow making things understandable for others. Who knows, maybe that can happen one day. I've seen weirder shit happen in my life so far., and that wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary.

A couple quick things to say. First I got my vacation approved for September, so it looks like it's going to work out and I'm going to Lake George with friends and family. I can't wait for it, hanging out with people who I like and they like me. Also gives me a reason to blow off some steam, which should be a lot after this summer.

Also the MLS season starts this weekend, and the Red Bulls start the week after. I got my season tickets and fleece jacket, so I'm in good shape. That's another thing I can't wait for. It give sme something to do on weekend s in the summer, and I won't be left alone with my thoughts. Also the US won today, and the US U-23 team qualified for the olympics, which means nothing really for me outside it gives these players some experience in a international tournament. the Olympics is usually a good barometer to see what teams are going to do well in the World Cup in 2 years. The US senior team has a lot of good games planned this summer, which is needed to toughen up the younger members of the team. They have England, Spain, and Argentina this summer, and the Spain and England games are away games-so they get to see how it is in hostile stadiums. so things are looking up for the US.

Remember my video podcast idea? well I won't be doing that since it wouldn't be original, and I couldn't top “Drinking with Bob” (look it up to see what I mean).

Seeing it was requested, I”ll chat about Saturday night. It was a friend's daughter's birthday and it was held at Dave and Buster's in Times Square. Getting there was fun in itself. I took the train to my cousin's place to meet up, but the trains were all screwed up. I took the express train to the stop after his, and figured Id jump on the local train going the other way one stop. I get the express, and I”m waiting for the local.....for 20 mins. After said 20, due to a problem at another part of the line, the trains were delayed and it would be another 10-15 mins. I was pissed, so I chose to walk from the station I was at to my cousins. I call him to say what's up, he says he'll meet me by his station, and I start walking. It was about 7-8 blocks, and I got there before my cousin, who's place is a block from the station we were going to meet at. I'm waiting for him and 5 mins later, he and his wife arrive. Sure enough we go into the station to get the local into the city, and the TRAIN ARRIVES in less than a minute!!!

So we get to the D&B, and no one is there yet. So my cousin, his wife, and I start drinking. we get the tall glasses of beer and after 2 I'm buzzed as hell. Eventually, the group of the birthday girl and the other arrive (in their defense, they are Latino, so 15 mins late is actually on time for them). Also at this point got some financial matters settled, and like Erik B and Rakim, I am paid in full for this summer. After some time at the bar and more drinking, it's dinner time. We sit at dinner, and the father of the daughter had a couple drinks and started ratting my other friends to their mother who was there as well. It was an interesting moment, where the guy showed as much emotion as a psychopath does in their confessions of killing a bunch of people. The good news was I wasn't involved in this, so it was funny to me. Afterwords, we left the place, split up and went home. Well I crashed at my cousin's that night. One thing that stood out to me that was sorta creepy. It was supposed to be a kids party, but like 3 kids were there and the rest were adults who sat there drinking.

Those who are reading this and thinking this is a half-assed recount of the night, well tough. I”m sorta distracted talking to people who require more focus than this entry.

Just a quick couple thoughts for tonight.

First, I”ve been listening more and more to Nirvana's “MTV Unplugged” album. It's one of the few albums I don't ever think about skipping any tracks. It's probably my favorite Nirvana album, mostly because it showed the band in it's more raw and pure form. Sure the live compilation that was released sort of did that as well, but that was like a mish-mosh of live tracks, whereas their Unplugged album is one show. The idea of “MTV's Unplugged” at the time was a great concept and it really showed at the time, what bands had true talent, and what were using the crutch of studio effects. I think this also showed that all the “alternative” bands on the 90s were amazing musicians. Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, and other bands from the time that did the show really had some amazing performances. Eric Clapton had one as well, despite his fans pissing and moaning that he made all his hits unrecognizable by re-arranging them for work acoustically. All during the 90s this was a great show, until the turn of the century, where thanks to the PC world forcing inclusion on us all, rap and R&B acts started doing the show. First off, having an R&B act do it isn't revolutionary, since most of their songs are based on acoustic instruments. Rappers sucked at the show, since they can't rely on their samplers and pre-recorded beats. The only one that seemed interesting was Korn's, but I still never seen it since I still haven't gotten myself up for it, for various reasons (look in some of the past entries to see what happened when I first tried to watch/listen to their performance). So once again, inclusion screws up something perfectly good, just because God forbid White people had something they enjoyed.

Now for something more local here in NYC. Here they are pushing this idea of “congestion pricing”, which would have people pay to come into Manhattan during Rush hour, and the theory is that it will discourage people to drive in and help clean the air. It's a hot toping in the city here, and I am against it. First, I live in the outer boroughs, and whatever pollution cloud that is over Manhattan will be put on the outer boroughs due to everyone parking and driving around there. On top of it being a bitch to get parking now, it would be a nightmare if this passed since everyone would have to park in the outer boroughs and catch the train in. Sure it's promised that the money raised would go to improve mass transit, but we all know that won't happen. The City had a great idea they used during the transit strike that would make the city air cleaner and better in the city overall. What they did was require any car coming into the city to have at least three people in it. When this was done during the strike, the city was great to walk around, less cars, noise, and pollution. Small my problem with this plan, where does the City profit from this, and make the rich in the city richer. Besides, look who runs the city, and it's clear that the non-money making idea would not be even considered.

Also, for those who think I'm nuts or unstable, after reading what I write here, at least I am not as bad as this rambling jackass.




ooooh, I”m so scared of Scientology...bunch of glorified Trekkie fans who couldn't get a cheap lay even if they went to Hawaii.

So happy Easter to everyone who reads this. I had my annual trek to Jersey to see family. Was an interesting trip. I went and it was, just there. Don't get me wrong, it was nice to see my family, but it didn't feel special as much as it used to. Maybe getting older makes these holidays more numb and me being a tad jaded took away from it, I don't know. Like I said, I've felt like this about a lot of things in my life. I'm sure this is just a stage where I'm in the down part, and maybe this summer it will cause an up part. That's the interesting thing someone told me about Easter. I was told that since this was the resurrection of Christ and the rebirth of spring, that this should be looked at a rebirth and resurrection of one's self as well. But I'm not one to get my hopes up with anything anymore, if it happens it happens.

All that I am feeling now could also maybe attributed to just frustration and not knowing some things. Between my job situation, and some other matters money wise and such, it's just frustrating seeing where I am, where I would like to be, and the gap between the two. I guess I have to wait until after the summer to find out a lot of the answers to the questions I have, and between now and then just keep doing what I am doing with what I know.

So Sarah Jessica Parker was finally called out on her “beauty”. Someone finally was honest and said she is one of the most unsexiest women in the world. What a shock she is upset about it, since it tears down that wall about these slightly older women being sexy like form “sex in the City” or “Lipstick Jungle” or whatever “modern women can have complete control of their lives and have it all, while playing with the men on their level of business and relationships” bullshit show is on the air. We all know the truth: she's upset that someone didn't kiss her ass and told her she's hot. I've always said that this horse-faced gremlin wasn't hot, and it's good to see someone agrees. It is sickening to have the media force down our throats that the modern woman can be sexy and aggressive in the world, and it's nice to see a magazine have the balls to say that they won't fall for it and contribute to the overrating of these women. It does suck for her husband, Matthew Broderick, since he has to be upset that certain rumors aren't going to diminish due to this. It's bad enough it was rumored he married her to look straight and have the “hot wife”, but now that veil is lifted, he just looks like he married someone to quell certain rumors.

My other thing I wanted to talk about is something that shouldn't shock anyone, remember it's wrong to be a White, heterosexual, male in this society. A black man on Long Island kills a white kid with an illegal gun. Allegedly this kid and his friends went to the black guy's house to confront his son over a alleged threat that the son made as far as raping a sister of one of the friends. The father came out with the gun, got in this kids face, said some words and shot him. First off, the guy wasn't brought up on hate crime charges, because as we all know white on minority crime=hate crime. Minority on white crime=just an example of the anger the minority's people have felt from the oppression that is still used as a crutch for sympathy. So the guy is only brought up on a gun charge and manslaughter charges (god forbid shooting someone would merit a murder charge, BTW), and out of the maximum 15 years the guy should have gotten, he only got 2 to 4 years. Needless to say, the white kid's family is made to look like assholes in this for reacting angrily to this sham of a sentence. The family is even being investigated about apparently threatening the family of the black man. It may have come off like that, but the father did say one thing; this would be totally different if a white guy shot a black kid. So once again, it's wrong to be white in this society, White guilt is alive and well and will lead to the downfall of society, and finally whites can be victims of any crime and it's not a hate crime, but any crime whites do is somehow linkable to hate crime laws, ask “Fat Nick” about that and what happened in Howard Beach, NY. a few years ago when he gets out in 15 years over some trumped up charge.

OK, enough of that irritation, here's a couple videos to put a smile on your face. Found these on Youtube and thought i'd share some of the ones I really liked when I was messing around on that site.

First is my favorite one of all time-bear falling out of tree and onto a trampoline:



Some of my favorite wrestling heels of all time, first Rick Rude:



“The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase-this is one of his most infamous bits



Ric Flair-Stylin and Profilin



The Sandman-greatest wrestling entrance ever



“The quintessential studmuffin” Joel Gertner



“The Franchise” Shane Douglas




And of course “Mr. Perfect” Curt Henning- this is I believe the video shown at the WWE's hall of fame event

So not even a week into the new Governor's reign, he and his wife admit to affairs years ago. Big deal, it didn't happen as as Governor, so I don't see an issue. I would like to know, since he is blind, what the chick looked like. Actually it should be found out if it was a chick. As Jim Norton has taught us, tall and having a big back, don't just mean they used to do the butterfly in swimming.

Not to be outdone, New Jersey tried to get some more milage out of their old scandal. Not it apparently came out that the driver of former Gov. McGreevey and his wife had relations on a weekly basis. It's been reported as a threesome, but let me clarify something: two women and a guy=threesome. Two guys and a woman=gangbang or pulling a train. As far as both stories, I say “So what?” that's their issues and as long as it doesn't affect their job and doesn't involve kids or farm animals, I don't care.

I”ve also been messing around Youtube, since I am bored, and I've been watching a lot of the Japanese Wrestling people have posted. Mostly the deathmatches. Some of them involve chicks, and they are really brutal. Explosions, barbed wire, and just other sharp objects that are just wild. One of these days I'm going to write about Ring of Honor, a wrestling promotion that I am slowly getting into more and more. Yeah I say I'm going to do a lot of things, and I'll get around to them.

Ugh that's it, cant' write anymore. Distracted as hell tonight and I think I've bombed enough tonight.

I”ve been in a weird mood lately. Could just be the time of year, but i could be something else, I have no clue. For some reason I've been feeling that people are going around my back and keeping me in the dark about a lot of things. Maybe people are, maybe not, but I just have that feeling. Probably just that but if it is, but then again a lot of the time these feelings have come out to be right, so I've not been in the best of moods. It could be me simply going nuts, considering a lot of things aren't set as far as the next 6 months. Also with adjusting to losing some stuff in my life hasn't been easy. Change usually isn't supposed to be easy, so I guess it's par for the course.

Also for some reason, it's March and already I'm getting the “Oh my God I'm turning 30, and for the most part I got exactly between jack and shit to show for it” thoughts going through my head. I never understood why 30 is the big number, mostly I guess it's when someone's is supposed to have their shit together and ready to be a full adult, but one never really can be sure that they are ready for anything. Sure, one can prepare all they want, but no one is ever ready for anything, particular change in life. It's not totally consuming my thoughts, but it does pop up from time to time. I look at all that i have done, and yes I have accomplished a lot, but I always feel like I could have done more. In the end all the choices I have made have led me to where I am today, and I have no one to blame for all this if it is wrong but myself. Then again, I”ve always been hard on myself and somewhat a perfectionist that has gotten me into some problems, so I guess it's something I should be used to. I still have about five months to get all this sorted out, so I got time to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Also I came to the realization that I am reaching the halfway point of my life considering my male members' family's history.

Anyway, like I said I have a few months to figure all this out. I hope that when it comes, I am able to spend the next week upstate celebrating my birthday and vacation reliving my college days. One thing that I know won't be happening is that I won't be celebrating it with someone that did say they wanted to celebrate my 30th with me, but due to a self-sabotaging attitude and a series of lies, those plans drastically changed, and part of me is glad about it that I won't have to deal with that drama/headache and celebrate how I want, now if I will remember it is the other question.

Just wanted to write something tonight. Bring weekend for me, didn't' go out or anything. I was originally going to go into Manhattan to watch the US U-23 team play in an olympic qualifier with some people in a bar, but at the last minute chose not to. Partly because I was not in the mood to take the train in (yes at times I'm a lazy bastard), but also I thought that I should really cut back with my social engagements. I have one thing to go to next weekend, but beyond that I'm not really making any plans at the moment between now and September outside of soccer. Why are you asking? well, the less money I spend on going out and getting drunk, the more money in the car fund. Also It is nice to just check my bank account and actually see money in it now. Sure, I”ll probably go out every so often, but not as much. It's cheaper to get beer or some liquor and stay home and catch up on all the movies I got that I haven't watched in a while.

On the subject of soccer, CONCACAF (the people who oversee the soccer events here in the north/central Americas and Caribbean and represent the region when it comes to FIFA matters), is still one of the worst ran organizations. They are a real embarrassment. I was watching the US play in their Olympic Qualifiers, and in the stadium, the crowd in attendance was stacked on one side of the stadium. Some MLS clubs do that to make it look like there's a real crowd (RBNY is going to this year at Giants Stadium). Only thing is that CONCACRAP decided to stack the crowd on the side WITH THE CAMERAS on it, rather than OPPOSITE the camera. So on TV it looked like no one was in the stadium. How fucking stupid is that?!?!? This is the same organization that is ran by a guy who hasn't met a bribe he never liked, and rather than try to make the entire region better overall in the sport he has piggy-backed the fortunes of the confederation on the success of Mexico and the US. I for one am sick of how every nation in this confederation have an equal vote on matters, and that includes nations that have no business in soccer and do not take it seriously. This hurts the US and Mexico greatly.

I would love for the US to go to the South American Confederation. It would mean better competition for both the national teams and club teams in MLS. It would mean the US would not have to play the second-rate countries like they do now, but real competition. I am sure some here are saying “Why would you want the US to play in a harder confederation and possibly not make the World Cup?”. Simple, The US and Mexico are like Rangers and Celtic in European competition-the big dogs in Scotland, but mediocre in higher levels of club competition. Both the US and Mexico are the class of this area, but okay at best on the world stage, and it's because of all the crap nations they have to compete with and not have to have their A-game all the time. Better competition leads to better quality play in MLS, and more money in the end.

Today was Palm Sunday, and next week is Easter. As a good Catholic I realized all this last Tuesday. And with that I am done tonight.

So New York is now a rudderless ship for a few days. Spitzer is gone, and starting Monday a blind man is going to be put in charge, who saw that coming? Ok, hack jokes aside, the guy who is going to be put in charge (I'm not in the mood to look up his name) will be one of a few Black men to be governor and the first who is legally blind. To me, it doesn't really affect me, since the state government doesn't really impact New York City too much beyond how much they take from the state's “cash cow” and not give anything back. This new guy is from Harlem, and some say he will be more of a City-friendly governor, but that remains to be seen. For some reason, the glorified nobodies in the state government have a problem with New York City asking to have the frivolous things taken away form the small towns in the state and given to them to handle the needs of 10+ million people in the city and region.

I am glad that Spitzer isn't in charge of the budget anymore. He spent thousands of dollars on some skank from Jersey. He could have gotten what he wanted and more from any other piece of garbage at the shore for nothing more than a case of beer and some weed. Factor in gas and tolls, and he would have saved a ton of money. Granted with the streak I have been on I wouldn't kick her out of bed, but it is sad he had to stoop to getting a piece of garbage from Jersey, rather than keeping it in-state. Probably the ones from New York wouldn't let him ride them bareback. Proof once again NY chicks have more class than Jersey ones. And just like any chick from Jersey, in the end she got all she wanted (in this case notoriety and her name/music out there to make more money), while ruining a man's life. On a side note, her song that people are playing is average at best. She has a dime a dozen voice as far as good singers.

Now that I may have gotten rid of all those who read this from Jersey, one more thing. Cuba's olympic team started as 20 players at the start of the Olympic qualifying tournament, and tonight they are playing with 10 players on the field. Yeah, you read that right, they are playing with one less player than they should be. Between the usual defections and suspensions of players, they have to finish the tournament with 10 players. They are playing Honduras as I write this and they are just staying in their half of the field trying to keep at least the score respectable. Sucks this couldn't happen before the US played them, maybe the US would have gotten all 3 points and instead of a draw. One more soccer statement, I can't believe it's only a couple weeks until the start of the MLS season. Time sure flies. Only a matter of time before I have to go to that dump of a stadium in a swamp to hopefully see RBNY somehow not make me feel like I wasted my money on season tickets. That's where I am now as a fan, I'm not looking for a championship or things like that (though it would be nice), but just them to justify me paying for season tickets and going out there and seeing the games.

So Elliot Spitzer got caught up in a prostitution ring. Turns out that Mr. Goody-two shoes had a liking for high priced hos, paying over 4 grand an hour on these skanks. Well on the bright side, at least he didn't' come out of the closet like certain other states.

That brings up something I've always said: the whiter the sheets, the darker the shadow underneath it. Anyone who seems to come out for morality and values seems to have the darkest, creepiest problems. the head of one of the biggest Evangelical church in Colorado, one of the most conservative sects of religion, turns out was into Meth and had a male hooker he went to. Then there was the senator found in the bathroom looking for some man love. He was one of the real conservatives who wanted to ban homosexuality. Of course there's all those Catholic Priests who were nothing but kid touchers. look at history and you'll see that many of America's racists and slave owners had a little Jungle Fever.

You know who is happy about this? Everyone in the State of New York. He sold out so many people to gain political power. Wall Street cheered when the news came out, since it was Spitzer pushed all the laws that has cost a lot of people money and jobs. He also screwed over the radio and music industry, and anyone who made money and didn't feel bad doing it. I don't feel bad for him, and if I had my way, I'd make him take a low-level job in one of these companies that he destroyed, and make it so he can't advance and can only make no more than 25K a year.

I am interested to see what comes out in details. Maybe he had a think for various foreign objects, animals, or something to make this story sexier. Anyway that's all I got tonight. Sorry for the lackluster entry, but sometimes I have gold, sometimes I don't.

I watched the Nick Dipaolo video show on blogtv.com (apparently he may be doing that rather than just an audio podcast). He does it from his house with a webcam, a mic, and this site he did it on. I have a webcam on my laptop, and honestly would like to use it more. I would like to use it for chatting, but it seems most people don't have a webcam. I haven't gone trolling for the websites where I can chat with others via a cam and a mic, but if I happen to find one, my luck it will just be full of guys showing off their junk. I did throw around the idea of doing a video version of the garbage I do here, but first off I'm not a 12 year old emo fag or chick, and I doubt there would be a demand to her the ramblings of a apparent sociopath. Plus, this chick took my gimmick.


Girl Talks Tough on Webcam - Watch more free videos



Anyone have any ideas, Im me or leave a comment, would like to read.

Next, I have come to the conclusion that the liberal crap that is on campuses of America is going to be the downfall of this country, since said liberalism is a breeding ground for anti-American attitude and potentially a ice hiding spot for a sleeper cell. I haven't been on a college campus for several years, but when I was on one (Penn State University), it was disgusting how hypocritical the liberal pussies are. First off they bitch about acceptance and freedom of speech maaaaaaan, but say anything to point out the realities of the world, like what i say on here, the calls for racism or any other “isms” come out. If you are anything centralist or conservative, the abuse one gets on a campus is amazingly saddening. If you ever go to a forum when someone who is quite conservative is on the panel, they are treated with cheap shots, really tough questions, and just abused. Yet any liberal is on the same forum, their asses are kissed, they get nothing but compliments and questions that are lobbed so softly, it looks more like bowling than a softball question.

Also on college campus, everyone is allowed to have a group. Well, not really everyone since if you tried to make a white group, or a group for straight people (which some tried at PSU in response to the gay/lesbian group and show how dumb it is to have a group that labels people),again you're a bigot, you're a racist, you are scum. Do anything normal people would think is fun, and some group is offended. Look, I am for all the free speech in the world, but when in a world that this speech is supposed to generate a dialogue to better people is censored because it might hurt someone's feelings, or it means that someone doesn't agree with another's views, that's a problem. Especially when they wrap themselves in the American flag. Watch the movie “PCU”, Jeremy Pivin's greatest role that also has John Favreau, David Spade, and the God of funk, George Clinton. That may be called a comedy and fiction, but in reality, that's how college is now!!

ok this is all I can think of right now, my head hurts thinking of how this world is doomed. Me, Pat Buchanan, Newt Gingrich, and anyone else who has not been afraid to tell people what they feel, are always the ones called nuts or loons. In the end I will be proven right and I expect/demand apologies from the ones who doubted me.

again i'd love to hear from you people with comments, suggestions, and questions. don't be afraid I won't bite. Might tell you to bite me, but I won't bite

I spent a good part of the day today playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Wii today. I picked it up today and so far I like the game. It's a little different to what I am used to, but it's not a bad game. I am still getting used to the controls, but it is a fun game. I haven't delved into the online portion of the game, which I find out needs both my machine's wii code, AND the game's code to play people. Sort of a pain in the ass, but oh well. I am glad I do have the Wii's Classic controller that I used for the classic games I downloaded to play, since it makes playing the game a lot easier. It also compatable with the old Gamecube controller, so if you got one of those you can use that. I haven't tried it with the Wii controller and the nunchuck, since that looks like it could be aggrivating.

I don't have anything else to really talk about tonight. I am debating what else to write about this week (yes from time to time, I do plan on things to write on this). I have a couple Ideas, but also would like to hear some ideas from the tens of people who write here. I will leave you with a video I found of comedian Patrice Oneal, who makes some hag from NOW look foolish. this is the incident that pretty much got him banned from Fox news. Good Stuff:

Ok, I thought I would do something fun. I'm going to put down some of the positive things that have been said of me and what I have been called, and then some negative.

Things people have called me or said of me in the positive light: a nice guy, a good person, a saint, unforgettable, very giving of myself and time, one who isn't afraid of sacrificing of self for others, reliable, committed to what he believes in, loyal, funny, honest, smart, laid back, handsome, a gentleman, someone who knows what he wants, open, someone who won't give up on anything, caring, good at communicating with others, friendly, conservative, a good listener, known to be cool and rational in bad situations, a rock, handles himself business like, professional, willing to go out of his way to help others, considerate to others, positive

Now for things that have been said about me in a negative light: a punk, a creep, an asshole, cruel, dishonest, aggressive, reckless, racist, sexist, cold, lack of emotion, socially retarded, sociopath, control freak, too much to handle, secretive, selective listener, ignorant, hot headed, irrational, defensive, selfish, only loyal to himself, emotional, immature, easily distracted, jerk, standoffish, unprofessional, inconsiderate, unpredictable, unstable, hate filled, two faced, apathetic, a negative force

SO which list is correct? Honestly, I think both are is to a point and depending on if you like me or not, and more importantly if I choose to like you or not. I've had people go from thinking of me as being the greatest man in their lives to me being a selfish prick that doesn't listen and wants the world to revolve around me. Whatever, I can't please everyone, and quite honestly if you think of me negatively for some reason or another, that's your thing. I'm not here to win people's affection, and I am not going to sell out myself to make others happy like a spineless jackass with no self-esteem or the average politician. Hence why any exes I have are not my friends-why give them what they want (someone to listen to their problems and be there for them without the work or responsibilities of a relationship), and I don't get what I want?

that's all I got tonight,

Hello all, I survived the bombing in Times Square, and I'm sure some of you with I was there when it went off. My work day starts about a block away from where that douche with a glorified M-80 blew up a window. I was on the 7 train in Queens, and when it got to Queensboro Plaza, the conductor said to get off the train, it and the other lines in the station wasn't going to Manhattan. I was a little pissed, but after realizing (and thanking myself) I was in one major hub of Queens. So I was able to get the E train and get to 8th avenue. I then had to walk several blocks uptown since the streets were blocked off. Eventually and about 45 minutes late I got to work. I didn't know the details of what happened at this point, other than a bombing. But in the end, it turned out that it was a much ado about nothing.

Now for a completely different subject. Amy Winehouse is another woman I find oddly hot. I am not sure if it was the video of her doing freebase on stage at one of the UK's largest festivals, or just her body is shaped like a lightbulb with that hair of hers where it looks like if it tips over, he neck is going to be snapped, but for some reason I feel I got a shot with her if I just walk up to her with a bag of any white powder.

One more thought: if the founding fathers came to this time period, and they saw what the government has turned into, would they not have a problem with it, or would they think that we are nuts for still basing our rule of law in this country and society on a 200+ year old document that really was a prototype for a government? And also how angry and shocked they would be if they saw that running for the most powerful position in the world is a broad and a mutt. I'm sure they wouldn't mind the vet who served his country and isn't afraid to toe the company line and be a yes-man for business and the elite.

I don't know if you haven't heard about this story, but it's been in the news the past couple days. it's one of those stories that proves how big of pussies this society is and how people can't stand up for themselves and they bitch and moan because their feelings are hurt.

A radio DJ on Long Island made a joke about a town on Long Island called Mastic implying it's an area of poor people. He asked a woman on the phone if the pipes froze in her trailer, and if she won the contest she was calling in for, the entire trailer park would be proud of her. Well, the town got a little upset and they are trying to get this guy fired. The DJ apologized for the remark (but shouldn't have, it was his right to say what he said), but the townspeople STILL want him fired. So a couple people got their feelings hurt, and now they are going to try to get a man fired.

Let me paint the picture of the area this guy made the joke about. It's in a part of Long Island that is between the Nassau/Suffolk county border and the Hamptons. In this area, you get a mixture of white trash, carnies, and just real hayseeds. Sure there are some nice areas there as well \, but if you ever drove out that way, the nice parts are all gated communities, much like the castles in the UK were set up to keep the savages out. Mastic is a town that is known to have kid-touchers and just real trash living there, and oh by the way there are a lot of trailers out there as well. I have driven through the area a few times and it's like having a third world country not far from your house. If you have a tourist from West Virginia that is feeling homesick, you could take them out to this part of Long Island, but he'd even probably think that its even too low-rent for them. I can't put into words how much of a hellhole this place is. I have family out that way, and if you met them you'd see they fit the description of the average sociopath that lives out there. The rich douches that go out to the Hamptons must get nervous being stuck on the Parkway in traffic when the sun sets, hoping it doesn't turn into a scene from “the Deer Hunter” or “Deliverance” (on the bright side for these people, the sun sets late in the summer time). Anyway the point is that the Dj stated his opinion on the area, and was somewhat accurate, and he's going to be punished for exercising his free speech, and god forbid try to make someone laugh.

By the way, despite what I just said about the Island, I'd put my trust in someone from there before I put my trust in someone from Central Jersey again, which is like the worst part of Long Island, without all the class. Granted trusting someone from either area is like asking me if I want to slam my nuts in a car door or a house door. Both areas has this odd, fucked up mentality that makes no logic to me. I have two good reasons for why I will not trust anyone from central Jersey: one was someone who fucked over my cousin and friends by taking the money for a trip they all planned to go on and disappearing, and not being heard from since, claiming a breakdown. the other reason is because I put all my trust in someone not once but twice, and getting played like a fine instrument, the second time I was like a lamb led to the slaughter, handing myself on a silver platter.

Both do have something in common: both think the “Gotti kids” look is the in thing. That faggoty I”m a guido look that involved a horrible fake tan, a “Dragon Ball Z” type haircut, and an attitude that they are somehow tough yet would piss themselves if a real man got into their face is somehow universal in the suburb communities. If there's one bright spot if the terrorists win, is the end of this stupid trend

Just some random stuff I've been thinking:

-For some odd reason, I've found two women attractive. Radio host Rachel Maddow and NYC Council speaker Christine Quinn. Both I just find attractive, but the small snag is that both are lesbians. So in the end I have as much chance with either of these chicks as I do if they were straight.

-March Madness is coming up soon, and all I see now is these nobody college teams on TV crying for “respect” because they earned the 15th seed in the tournament. I never was a huge fan of college basketball, or basketball in general, so I really hate the early part of the year when all that is on is college basketball. the only viable reason I pay attention to the tournament is when I “invest” in a pool and somehow hope for a profit.

-NASCAR started up a couple weeks ago, and I'm happy about that. I love auto racing, and especially the NASCAR or touring car type, where “rubbin' is racin'” . Open wheel is good and impressive to watch since it is an artform watching these drivers pilot missiles at over 200 MPH, but i don't get a rush like I do with NASCAR.

-Speaking of rushes, I seem to not really have that feeling about things I used to. Not sure, maybe I'm just burnt out when it comes to emotional feelings after the past several months, going from such a high to a crashing low. I guess it's a” numbness” I feel about a lot of things. I still get enjoyment from things, but it's just there's nothing lately that has given me a “rise” or a rush of emotion that some things should. Maybe the upcoming MLS season will, but I'm not really sure. At this point maybe it's best for me to stop looking, let me sit back and gather my thoughts about some things.

Ugh there is so much going on that has me in a mood. First is my car, and getting that ready yo be donated. I am in the process of cleaning it out right now, and so far so good. I am sure some of you are wondering why I am not selling it. Well, if I did, usually the buyer would demand to have a garage look at it, and that means whatever price I say will get nickeled and dimed down to a point I”m giving the car away. So I figure cut my losses altogether and just give the car away, and maybe get something to help with taxes next year. Still weird to go through this, but I want to do this.

Now all that has angered me the past couple days is the whole abandoned baby story here in New York. In this case, a livery driver had a baby left in his car by her father after he jumped out of the car and ran. The driver gave the kid to a firehouse who then took the kid to a hospital to be checked out. The driver thought the kid could be left with the firemen under some law that allows mothers can leave their kids with them without penalty. The first day this broke, the guy was made into a hero. The next day it was found out he was part of a scam that involved the driver, the father, the 14-year old mother of the child, and the Aunt of the mother who happened to be the sister of the father.

All I have seen in the media lately is everyone trying to make me feel SYMPATHY for this driver who aided in dumping a kid off somewhere. Sure it was good he did it the way her did, but the bottom line is that the guy did aid in a criminal act and should be prosecuted accordingly. His license was suspended because he lied to the cops, but the head of a powerless taxi group is FIGHTING to get this savage's license back!!! What is wrong with this picture!!! This taxi commission has no pawer in the city, and no one likes or care about them. Last year, this commission thought they would cripple the city by posing a strike to protest having GPS systems put i all cabs (Probably to stop these animals for ripping off customers), and credit card machines (which I wouldn't trust with these people-just screams IDENTITY THEFT). How did this massive protest and strike go? Most people didn't notice, and actually wanted it to not stop since there were less cars on the road, and less dangerous, and probably undocumented and unlisenced drivers potentially causing accidents ad fatalities on the road. This commission was proven impotent, yet for some reason they are given a voice in the media, and they decided to back a criminal and his illegal act. See how much this country is screwed up!?!?!

I spent today driving around in my car, just getting some use out of it before I get rid of it. I am sort of torn on doing this, but in the long run I have to. If I keep the car, I will have to pay the usual insurance and other things one that is expected to pay, but also I have to pay for the upkeep as far a getting it to pass inspection. I was told the struts are starting to go on the car, and if I went to get that done, along with the required alignment, it's going to cost almost as much as the car is worth. And it seems at this point that every six months I have something big happen with this car (insurance bill, or repair), so it's like whenever I start getting some money in the bank to help pay to a new car or even a place of my own, it is gone and I'm back at square one. So I am at the point where it's better to cut my losses and just get rid of the car. It's going to be an adjustment to not having one, it would be the first time I am without a car since I was 18, but I am sure I will adjust and make the best of the entire situation, something I've always somehow been able to do. I'm going to clean the car out tomorrow probably just to get it out of the way, maybe find a couple things I've been looking for.

One other thing that hit me when the whole idea of getting rid of the car is something that has me a little guilty about getting rid of the car. this car I have was my fathers', and it sort of makes me feel a little weird about the whole thing. I know that material things like a car shouldn't have a real value to someone, but I can't shake this feeling. On top of it is the license plates on the car were from the van my dad rolled one night and almost died in (ironic he wasn't wearing his safety belt-if he did, he would have died in 98). For some odd reason, I feel like I am quitting on the car, and I am not one to quit on anything or anyone. I don't know why I am feeling all this, but I am. I will say one thing: when I mention I am getting rid of the car, I mean I am going to donate it to a charity so that it can help out someone in need. As much as I am feeling bad for losing the car, I do feel better that I am going to help someone else out. Somehow I always help everyone else, so I guess this shouldn't be new. Maybe this little act of kindness will help me out with God or whoever runs the show.

Downer aren't I tonight? Be happy I don't go through what has been rattling in my head since I started writing this!!!