what did I forget to write about????

Ah, I forgot to regale the story about Sat night. This is what I remember, I’m sure there are some details I forgot:

Before I get to the bar, my cousin called up to ask I meet him at his apartment and we’ll go into the city from there. I get to the apartment, hang for a bit and listened to my cousin bitch and moan about his gas. After his wife ran around with Fabreze, we get ready to go. After figuring out what the hell is going on with the trains, we catch the right one and get into Midtown Manhattan.

We get to Stout Bar, and meet up with another couple I invited. After seeing that my cousin was in a light blue polo shirt and the other dude (“S”) in a pink shirt, the gay jokes flew!! I came out with my first good smash of the couple The chick will go by “F” in this) when I realized that they are like the D’arcys in the old RV show “Married with Children” (where the chick worked, and the guy was a pretty boy and unemployed). Many laughs ensued, and many drinks were consumed. Later on in the night, we go down to the lower level of the bar and hang out on the couches and continue drinking.

We go down there and just hang, nothing really major just having fun, busting balls, and enjoying everything. I go out with my cousin, S, and F as they smoke, and F starts rambling on about something about reincarnation (where she saw the future in the past, but in the present” I think the statement was), after I realized what she meant, I jokingly said “good job stupid”. After several attempts at kicking my in the nuts, my cousin settles her down and S, her boyfriend is still laughing his ass off to what I said to his chick.

It is at this point I realize this: I’m kept around by my cousin when he is with this couple to keep her in check in jest, since he enjoys seeing her face when I knock her down a peg or two. Her boyfriend likes it too since I think me and my cousin re the only ones not afraid to say stuff like that to bust her balls and get a rise in her…apparently he doesn’t do this often.

So we all get back into the bar, and F disappears. Well, she came back with several shots of different alcohol all for me…I think I hit a mark with the “stupid” remark!! Well after eventually downing all the shows (I think there were 4-5 double shots, I can’t remember), I watched in humor as my cousin and his wife talked F out of buying me more and trying to kill me. Eventually something happened, F got PISSED and stormed out of the bar. In the end, my cousin rounded her up and we all went our separate ways in taxis. I crashed at my cousin’s place, tried to drink water (it didn’t make my throat, absorbed by my mouth as soon as it hit-a little dehydrated I think!!), ate some kick ass food, and then woke up without a hangover surprisingly.

That’s about as much as I remember. I’m sure there are other stories along with this, but I don’t remember them. All I know is that I didn’t wake up in police custody, so I guess I didn’t do too much damage!!! Overall it was a fun time, wished there were more people out, but things happen. Still it’s always fun to hang with my cousin (almost a brother to me, love the guy-NO HOMO!) and good people, so I can’t complain about a damn thing about the night.

facts

Some things I have realized on my birthday:

-At 28, I outlived a lot of my heroes

-This past year has been the most extreme in terms of emotions, yet it always balances out.

-Some of the most painful things I have gone through have also lead to some of the most wonderful things after the fact (my job, my mindset now, etc.)

-I’m 28, yet my body feels a lot older

-I have learned a lot about myself over this past year, but I still haven’t felt I have scratched the surface.

-I am here at this point in my life right now because of me, and nothing else

-If you took me today and me from last year, they would be almost completely different people, but one wouldn’t be any better than the other

-In the past year, I have dome a lot more growing and maturing than in any single year of my life (thought most of the growth was forced upon me, but those tests were needed to show me who I really and the possibilities of who I can become)

I think that’s all I have right now. Also, I had a good time Saturday celebrating my B-day, got a bunch of drinks forced down my throat thanks to me shooting my mouth off (but it sure as hell was funny at the time!!!). But I had fun,

My biggest quirks-accept them or help me change

This entry was inspired by something that happened today.  I got a message form someone that I apparently irritated.  After reading it, I started to think what led to that reaction.  I think I figured out what exactly did it, and its is related to what I think are my two biggest flaws, and also the two biggest reason people like me or think I’m a complete asshole!

See, I have this problem of wanting to know everything at once.  It’s like if there’s something I need to know, I NEED TO KNOW!!!!  I have the problem of keep asking about things I need to know, and sometimes it can get really annoying.  I just have this thing that if I don’t’ know I feel as if I’m losing out on something.  I tend to keep emailing and calling people until I get an answer.  This stems from my father, who was notorious for being this way.  He was the type where he’d call the house at least a couple times a day just to make sure things are ok and find out what’s going on.  He’s also the type that would be PISSED if I didn’t check in with him if I was going to be late, or if my mom was going to be late from being out.  It would drive him nuts.  I find myself almost doing the same thing, but it’s with my emails.  I’ll check my emails on my phone at least 5 times at work.  It’s insane I know, but I cant’ help it.

What happened today was I was I believe sending messages to this person everyday about this weekend, and it was too much.  I realize that it was stupid now to be so impatient, but then I thought I was doing the right thing.  What doesn’t help this habit is that I’ve always had jobs where this type of attitude/behavior was rewarded.  I was always on top of things and checking in with people.  Even now at my job I have to be constantly on top of calls/follow-ups to make sure things are done right.  On top of all this is my perfectionist attitude and my need to do things myself otherwise if it’s done by someone else it’s crap!!

What’s good for the corporate world isn’t good for the real world, now I see why.  I think this is also the BIG thing that has driven a lot of people away form me, thinking I was “to much” at once.  I really want to fix this, but I have no clue how to do it.  I really need help with this one!!!  

My other biggest problem is that I think with my heart and not with my brain sometimes.  This I think is the Italian in me.  I am just a passionate person and if I believe in something or someone, I want to do all I can to make it right.  This also can lead to the “too much” situation and sometimes feeds that need to know everything (so I’m sure everything is right).    It also has led in the past to me being too intense and doing stupid things.  Again I have no clue how to fix this and I really want to change this as well.  

Part of me also says I shouldn’t fix this at all, and those who do like and care for me will accept me for all I am, and be able to accept these things as well.  But on the other hand, sometimes this isn’t the best way to live, and I could be missing out on things that could be driven away from my “problems” I just described.

To the person that inspired this:  Thank you for pointing all this out, and I hope that maybe you can help me solve these problems, or at least you see where I’m coming from now.

Madden 07-damn good game

Well I’ve been playing Madden 07 for the XBOX 360 and so far it’s a great game. First the detail is something I’ve never seen in a game! I cant’ describe everything, but the grass stays torn up during the season (or it’s discolored at the start of a game-like they relayed some sod). During the dame the weather changes sometimes, like in Seattle the fog/mist comes in and hazes the view a little. I could go on and on about the game, but all I can say is that if you have a 360, GET THIS GAME!!! I’m up for some HONEST games online if you are all interested. Look for my gamertag on XBOX live and drop me a note
That’s all I can think about writing tonight, just had that on my mind


Also notice on the sid of teh page I put my XBOX live gamertag. Now you can see what I played and what my repuation online is.

just a update to start the week off

Hey all,

Just writing to say what’s up.  I’ve been feeling fantastic lately.  I have nothing to worry about, and I really feel like my attitude has changed for the better.  I still have to get my confidence up, since I still shy away from some social situations, but hopefully I can change that.  I just did some exercises tonight, yoga to be exact, and I really feel good.  Tonight I chose to do the middle level workout, and it really kicked my ass!!  I was really sweating and getting into it.  The only big thing is I need to get myself to KEEP doing it!!  That’s my big problem, but that’s something I can change.

Tomorrow is a big day in America.  The new Madden game comes out!!!  It’s almost a national holiday at this point, and people actually take days off to play it when it first comes out.  Recently, the series has hit a bit of a lull, where it’s more of just updated rosters and no real gameplay innovation (or whatever they try doesn’t’ work out).  But this is going to be my first Madden game for the 360, and I hope it turns out to be awesome. Form the videos I’ve seen online and in previews look fantastic.  If the controls and the features in the game are halfway decent, it looks like a winner.  

I personally think that EA should offer an update every year for 360 owners (which has a hard drive), where they can download the new rosters and game updates for half the price of the full DVD (since the game you own has the basic codes and game, the update would work with it, so you only need “half” the game).  This is assuming EA doesn’t’ come out with a totally different game code every season, but seeing the past few games they put out, it seems like the basic codes aren’t different.


I guess that’s all I can think of writing tonight.

Wed night update

Hello all, it’s been a busy couple days, and tomorrow looks like to be even busier!!! I sort of like it that way, makes the time go by faster.  Oh well couple more days until the weekend, and I have no plans.  Next weekend is the real plans, but this weekend I may just stay in and sleep.

The only good out of all this is my new toy: the XBOX 360!!!!  I got it a couple weeks ago and it’s an amazing piece of hardware.  I got the full $400 one, that comes with a hard drive, wireless controller and headset for online games and chats.  I only got a couple games-NCAA 2007 and Chromehounds- for it right now, but I’m having fun overall.  Still getting used to all the assholes on online, but at least EA has a setup where the can pair you with others with the same skills.  Anyway if you wanna play or just chat, my gamertag on XBOX Live is Evilpete66.

I showed my mom and sister what they could get me for my Birthday.  I asked for a car kit for my XM/MP3 player.  This I need since the player didn’t’ come with it, and I had to use the home charging dock in my car (luckily the power requirements are the same as my old receiver, so the hook up was easy).  The car kit just makes things a LOT easier!

On a side note about XM…..I will be renewing my subscription, may even go for two years if the price isn’t bad.  That should ease the mind of some people who read this!!!

Man I feel good.  Good things are on the horizon I just feel it!!!

guick thought after 12+ hours of work

Couple quick things to get off my head:

Work was nuts today, don’t’ know why but it was just nuts.  People were acting odd, and it was like a full moon was out.  Whatever, it’s nothing major

I’ve been working on bettering myself, and trying to be more of a positive person.  Sp far it’s been tough, but nothing in life is easy.  I’ve been reading the book Pivot: How One Turn in Attitude can Lead to Success by Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman.  It’s a good read, and even if you don’t do the exercises he suggests (I do some of them), you do get a lot out of it.  This book helped me realize how much my attitude has led to me thinking my life sucked, but it reality it doesn’t.  This book has given me some confidence, but I still lock up talking to chicks and strangers sometimes, but I’m still better than where I was at and not doing anything.  Even if you don’t thing you need help, I think this book can help a little.  I’m not turning into some new-age jagoff, but I just found that sometimes all that positive crap can help you see that life doesn’t always suck, It’s just how you allow yourself to look at it.

That’s all I can put down now, but this was on my head today and I figured I’d write it now before I forget and go nuts trying to remember!

quick update

I just got back from the RBNY-Barcelona soccer game at Giants Stadium.  It was an amazing thing to see a full house for a soccer game.  RBNY got their asses kicked, but it was amazing to see some of the best players in the world that play for Barcelona.  The crowd was great (but it pisses me off they wont’ come out to support local soccer, they are mostly bandwagon fans on the hot team at the time), and the sight of all the flashbulbs was something to behold.  I’m drained right now from standing in the sun all day form the tailgate and the game.  I always wondered what it was like at Giants’ Stadium during the height of the Cosmos.  This is probably the closest thing that I’ll get.

I got my birthday off, and that’s a good thing.  I’m probably spend the day off in bed just relaxing, but who knows.  Maybe I’ll get an invite to a free meal or something but I’m not expecting anything.  I did volunteer to work the 26th, which is a Saturday.  There’s a meeting that day in the building I work in, and I was offered the chance to work it getting all the catering in and out of the meeting room.  At first I wasn’t going to take it, but I realized that the pay I get for that day would make up what I’m not getting on the 29th and more.   Funny part is that the night of the 26th I’m going out to go drinking.  I planned on doing this anyway and I decided to invite some friends of mine (via myspace.com) to come along.  I have no idea how many will make it out, but I don’t have any expectations as to how many do.  If only a couple or one come out, I’d be happy.  If none come out it’s cool, I’ll just have to buy my own drinks then!!!

better attitude, better me

I wrote about the “Ying Yang” symbol and how I thought life is ran that way a while a go, where you go through having positive and negative experiences in life, but they are balanced out in the end. I just had a really negative experience after I had a real positive one, which in my theory balanced out my life. The big part of having the negative experience is to learn from it to make you a better person. After the experience I had I learned one thing; my attitude in my life sucks.

The past four weeks has led me to reevaluate myself and my attitude towards life. I have had some bad things happen to me in my life, but I CHOSE to have these things hold me back, rather than finding ways around them to live a better life. For Example, in high school, I had my leg in a cast for the better part of the time. I could have asked my parents to drive me around to hang out with friends, but I didn’t, figuring my parents worked all day, why would they want to drive me around to the other side of Queens to let me see my friends. I also thought why would my friends hang out with me? I’m a gimp, and what could they to hanging out with me? Another example is my work history. I was so hung out on all the bad things about how my life turned out that I didn’t’ do anything to change it. All this and other thing sin my past has led me to be very hard on myself, and for some reason me wanting to do better for others and not for myself. This led me to care more about others, and care about them to a point that it would drive people away, since it was too much for them. As I was working one day, it hit me: I shouldn’t care about people or things in life so much, I should be more indifferent about things, or at least show that I am. Another thing I learned was that I shouldn’t care as much about what other think about me, it’s their problem if they don’t like me. Maybe this will help show me who my real friends are and who aren’t.

Since I came to these realizations, I feel damn good. I feel as if a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and I’m not being held down anymore. Now I see that I have a hell of a lot more positives than problems in my life. Don’t worry I will still be the obnoxious asshole I can be, but just one that has more confidence and not as easily hurt by what is said back.

Funny, it took me a little over a month to realize something I should have learned earlier in my 27, going on 28 years of life. But on the other hand I wouldn’t’ trade anything form those years for anything; they made me who I am no and who I will become. If you take anything form this, just take that you should always be learning something, either about someone else or yourself. That’s the only way you will be better any anything in your life. There are reason bad things happen in life, and I think they are to teach one how to life their lives better.

something for the hot day

All right peeps, I am back to talk about a couple things. Fist I recently saw a film that I “acquired” from a relative.  It’s called the “Boondock Saints”.  It’s not the most recent film out there, it was made in 1999, but it’s a damn good flick.  It’s about two Irish brothers from south Boston (what Irish that live in south Boston, what a shock!!!!) and they decide to become vigilantes to clean up the “sinners” from Boston.  The movie is really violent, but it’s a great action flick.  It’s got William Dafoe in it as a..well odd FBI agent, Comedian Billy Connolly as a psychotic killer hired by the mob to kill the brothers, and Ron Jeremy as a member of the mob how dies in a pretty cool way.  If you can check the film out, it's worth it.  

Come to think of it, I haven’t gone to a movie in a while.  I should go see some films, but I really hate going alone (it’s like going to a bar alone, I feel like a tool sort of).  I may have to bite the bullet and go alone one night if I can’t find anyone who wants to go with me.  I also realize that Netflix is an awesome thing.  I’m debating on getting a subscription to them, but that also means I need to get a DVD reader/writer for my computer….you do the math

I picked up a book to read today (YES I READ!!!).  I picked up “Once in a lifetime: the incredible story of the New York Cosmos” today and started reading it.  The documentary is out already in theatres but I’m waiting for it to come out on DVD.  So far the book is great and informative, especially for someone like me who has heard all the hype and crap I’ve heard about the Cosmos.  All the stories I heard about the team for the most part are covered in this book, and it also re-affirmed a lot of the attitudes I had to some of the players on the team.  I cant’ wait to see the documentary, but the book itself is a great read for those who likes non-fiction books, especially ones that revolve around sports and history, like I enjoy reading.  

I got to work early today, and I dropped into Nintendo world, which is a block away from my job.  I liked it, but it wasn’t something that really blew me away.  It’s a giant ad for Nintendo, but it also is a store for their products.  It’s cool because they have a lot of the games you really cant’ find in regular stores. My only thing is that the place really revolves around their Pokemon brand.  I understand that it’s their biggest brand, but I think they really dedicate too much to that one brand.  

Oh, if you thought it was a waste of time to read this, well I take comfort that you will NEVER get that time back…so ha ha!!!

it's hot...but not as hot as me!!!!

Don’t mind this post, it’s written during the hot as balls weather in the city and the lack of sleep I’ve gotten the past couple days (Sunday night, only 4 hours, last night, I got about 6).  So id it seems even more incoherent, there you go.  I just wanted to put something up before I go to work and just simply update it.

In about 4 weeks I turn 28.  I still have to see if I can get my Birthday off.  I’m sure I can, but it just sucks that I won’t be paid for it.  I already am getting the question “so what do you want for your birthday?”  I have no clue what I want, but I will ask for something (but my dream gift is something that no one can get, it’s more of a luck thing.  I don’t know if I’m doing anything on my birthday or the weekend before it, but if I don’t do anything it wouldn’t shock me. That’s how I usually end up spending my birthday.

I just checked out my savings account and wow!!!  I’m really saving money!!  Now the only thing is not pissing it away on something.  I have to save up for some big expenses, like my Xm subscription and some other big bills, so I can’t just go blow it on something.