I hate new years. I have no idea why this is such a big deal. Sure it's nice to get the day off and soe of the sles kick ass in the stores, but I see no real point to it. It's just a drinking holiday, and I can drink anytime I want. Am I bitter that I will be alone on new yeas? No!! It would have been nice to have a chick to hang out with but it didn't work out that way. I plan on drinking so much that I pass out before midnight so I don't have to watch/hear all the bullshit celebrations. I do have a resolution though. I plan on talking to/asking more women out. I am just no getting “groove” back, an I”m starting to get comfortable again with myself. I am also realizing that ho I feel about things shouldn't be compromised just so I can try to impress women (or other people). So there's a chance by the end of 2007 I won't be single pissed at new years, I may have someone else to be pissed with it as well.

Tomorrow I'm going to be looking for a leather jacket. I wanted one for a while now, and since I got a nice gift from the people I work for in my building, I can afford one. Thing is I want to get a new hat to go with it. I am not sure what type to get (not a baseball cap), have to see what hat “talks” to me and makes me look cool (not that I need help with that, but a hat can enhance and help with that)

On the bright side, I was officially offered a full time job at BofA. I had to fill out all the paperwork for the background search. I hate doing that, even though it's a nothing thing. I just hate that I have to remember details about my last 10 years. I got it all down for the most part, and whatever is missing isn't needed since I put names sand numbers down for the address of a past employer that I don't have, so it's all good. If all goes right, Ill be officially full time the day after MLK day-about one year since I started the temp assignment, how fitting.

I was talking to my co-worker the other day and she mentioned how she thinks people percieve me as a grumpy ass at work. I guess this us because I am not a”pleasant” or “chipper” person when I am doing my job. I am sure some must think I'm an asshole, but in reality it isn't anything I care about. I go to my job and I do it, nothing more or less. I am not there to be a greeter or an “office friend”, nor am I there to make friends. It's not that I am against making friends, it's just friendship isn't the top priority at my job, plus I barely have a chance to talk to people anyway. Plus, as much as this sounds odd since I don't' have a large social circle as it is, I am at a point in my life where I don't want more friends. Maybe this is why most women I date don't end up as friends. Or when I meet people in general, i don't' look at them more than what or where I met then (like person A is “the guy I met at work”, or Person B is “That guy that hang out at the hobby shop”). Is this the best way to live, not really, but it's how I am. Would my life suck if I made one or two more friends, no and I probably could use more. People who want to be more in my life ho aren't family have to “prove” themselves to me that the are worth my time. I have no time in my life to deal with stress and drama (more than any minor crap) that the wrong people bring to the table. If you are cool and “get” me and don't cause and issues with me, then cool. This is probably why most people (especially women), lately aren't around for a long time.

Merry Christmas to all. Hope you all had a happy and healthy one. I think mine went well, would help if I remember it!!! This morning I woke up and opened my gifts, get ready and go to my Aunts house where more gifts were exchanged and I come back. This is at about 1:30pm and I start drinking. After God knows how many Yuenglings and Sam Adams I drank, I eat dinner, sit down in the living room and pass out for about a hlf hour I think (I don't know since I wasn't paying attention). I get up, family laughed after a bunch of my other relatives were also passed out as well, and have my dessert and open more gifts. Since then I have been feeling sober and now I am writing this. What sucks is that I am going to work tomorrow, thanks to the people who run the banks and entertainment industries(insert the joke...I”m not in the mood to just come out and say it) and the other godless religions of those who work there that have to work. Maybe next year I'll be in a better position in the company and will get some time off during this week....that's if any rumors are true that I have heard.

Here's what I really hate about the holidays; SAD STORIES OR STORIES THAT ARE ABOUT KIDS AND INSPIRATION!!! I am in a down mood as it is, I don't need this bullshit along with my down mood!!! I hate kids stories now because there are some heavy issues in them, and I just don't like kids that much, especially when they are crying. Don't get me wrong, I may have kids down the road but now I can't stand kids and I find them really annoying. Also, the stories of the challenged accomplishing anything are another thing I DON'T need to see. I don't care and I don't want this forced down my throat when I watch the news. How are these things supposed to make ME feel better about myself, I feel like crap since some of the stuff they talk about hit nerves with me that shouldn't be hit. Thanks God for Discovery Channel, if they didn't' have marathons of their best shows like “Dirty jobs” and “Mythbusters”, I would have gone nuts...especially since the Giants felt like shitting the bed Sunday and by midway through the third quarter the game was unwatchable.

Obviously reflection has been happened as well. I thought of a lot of people who I have lost (as I am sure you all have as well). I thought of my dad, who was brought p a lot this day and here in the past, so it wasn't that new to me. What did surprise me was that I was thinking of someone who hasn't really been a part of my life for the past several months. This person was at one point one of the most important people in my life, but out of the blue suddenly wasn't, and I still have never fully got an answer to why all that happened. I don't like rethinking the past, since there is nothing that can be done about it, but this just came up and has been on my mind today.

It seems everyday I realize that I am getting older. It's a lot of little things that happens that make me realize that I am getting old. First off, I wake up now with little pains that weren't there before. Along with that are the pains I feel a little longer than I ditheseeen I was a little younger like after working out or moving heavy things. This time of year also brings this up when the cold does cause some receiverrhritis in my ankle and some joint pain I now suddenly have.This time of year also brings this up when the cotrain.s cause some arthritis in my ankle and some joint pain I now suddenly have. It's weird and a little sad. train.

One other thing I am starting to do is thinking all the new music or TV shows/movies coming out sucks. For example. I listen to all the new rock channels on XM, and I look at it all as overdramatic bullshit that is geared to teenagers. Its all about how life sucked for thes musicians when they all happened to live in the time where their lives didn't suck. What I do now is record on my Pioneer Inno (a portable XM reciever and MP3 player) is the “classic” alternative music channel at night so i have something to listen to on the trian. The channel plays music from the early and mid 90s and “New Wave”, the father to alternative music (BTW, it's not gay to enjoy the New Wave music, but it is gay to start dancing to it), and I find hat the most enjoyable channel to listen to-next to ch 202 of course!!!

When I talk about music with people, I always say that the music I grew up with is MUCH better than what is out now, and that when the 90s ended, good music ended. I realized that I am now starting to sound like a lot of my older cousins who I thought were insane when they were telling me the 70s were the pinnacle of music, and what I listen to is total crap.

Eh I have o clue what I am talking about tonight, I am bored and wanted to put something up.

I hate the holiday season, especially now since I work near a tourist attraction. I”m pissed at all the hayseeds and rubes that come into the big city and get pissed when I walk into their big shot. God forbid people would walk on a pubic walkway to go to their jobs. These asshats are also the ones that will stand at a corner, blocking the flow of traffic because they are impressed that buildings go higher than three stories. Then there are the ones that stroll around doing pirouettes like they are the “girl that's going to conquer the big city”, and they get pissed when I shoulder charge them when I walk past them to get to work. I hope these morons have either a mugging or rape in their future. And I hope they enjoy their pictures from the big trip where there's a bald guy giving the finger or waving gang signs in the background.

Speaking of gangs, good to see that an old school gang fight broke out in lower Manhattan the other day. Good to see that in this modernized world on NYC, old school gang warfare is still alive and well.

Sorry to spoil the holidays for the few who read this, but those who are expecting a gift from me this year, don't be shocked if it's just a envelope with some cash in it. Don't bitch at me about it, I'm sick of stressing about what to get for who, and I figure I give you the cash, you go buy whatever the hell you want or use it for whatever the hell you want, and if you aren't satisfied in the end that's your problem. Kiss my ass if you got an issue with it, left cheek first since I'm a lefty.

One more thing, if you use Firefox as your web browser, get the stumbleupon add-on. It brings up random sites when you hit the button. Great thing to have when you are bored and you can find some cool things out there

This week is going to be tough for me. This is the one year anniversary of my dad's passing. It is a weird feeling I have about it. Today I went through all our Christmas stuff to get it out and ready to be put up, and I couldn't help but rememer that this was one of my Dad's favorite times of the year. I don't like to look at the past anymore, but I feel like this has been my best year as far as getting stuff done in my life, and he's not here to see it. I accomplished a hell of a lot in my life, and a weird part of me fels that his passing was an odd catylist for all of these things happening. It's a weird feeling but oh well it's not something to stop me form being me.

I am also a little down after the Giants fell apart and lost today. It wasn't Eli's fault or anything. It was just lack of disapline that led to the Cowboys getting their opportunities to win. Really irritating considering the Giant's head coach is know to have his team disaplined and not commiting dumb penalties. But justice was served later on when Florida was rightfully given the #2 spot in the BcS title game against OSU. Many wanted Mich to get it and play OSU again, but I feel that a team should win their conference and Florida did so. Also, Mich already lost to OSU and had their chance at them, so they should get to the back of the line and let someone who has earned the right play OSU.

Another note to those out there thinking of getting me a Christmas gift: I already said I'm asking for clothes and cash from my family, but alcohol is also something I have no issue accepting.